Chapter 87

As they lose themselves in each other, I notice another figure at the door. Knox is leaning against the wooden frame, silently observing the scene.

A single tear slips down my cheek, a silent wish for someone to love me like that. I quickly wipe it away and turn my gaze to the window.

“You alright?” Kyle asks, pulling me back to the present. I turn back to face the couple, nodding and forcing a smile.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just so happy that you’ve found each other,” I reply, and they pull me into a group hug.

I catch Knox’s gaze in the middle of our embrace. I look away, focusing on the floor as I step back from them. I think Andy senses my discomfort. “Hey, so we’re going to go and—” Kyle starts.

“Just go, I don’t want to know!” I laugh, covering my ears to protect what little innocence I have left.

“Just make sure I can’t hear you both! Please,” I call after them as they walk hand in hand out the door. The thought of them together sends a shudder down my spine. So gross.

I unwrap the towel around me and hang it on my heater to dry. I grab a fresh towel from my wardrobe and place it on the heating rack in my bathroom, so it’ll be warm when I step out of the shower.

Turning around, I collide with a hard chest and stumble back, only to be caught by an arm snaking around my waist. My hands instinctively find his shoulders, helping me regain my balance.

My gaze flickers from his lips to his eyes, and I immediately regret it. Seeing his eyes dilate sends my heart into overdrive.

His hot, minty breath fans my lips, and I snap out of my daze, trying to push him away. But he’s much stronger than I am and doesn’t budge.

“You can let go of me, I’m fine,” I insist.

“No,” he whispers, his words brushing against my skin. “Stay away from Caleb,” he pleads, his eyes filled with sincerity and protectiveness.

“Why? It’s none of your business, Knox!” I retort, frustration bubbling up inside me. He steps back, locks the door behind us, and moves closer to me.

“Because he’ll use you, Alex! That’s why,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair. He bites his lower lip, and I have to resist the urge to do the same. Stop that.

“So? All guys use me. I’m used to it by now. Who would want me, right?” My voice starts to crack, the facade I’ve been maintaining finally crumbling.

Seeing Andy and my brother so happy has made me realize that no one will ever look at me like that.

“Alex, stop saying that! Just stop! I’m serious.”

“No, Knox! No! Drew used me, you even used me—”

“Don’t you dare say I used you! I didn’t use you, Al—”

“Then what did I do wrong? What the fuck did I do wrong, Knox? Huh? Am I not pretty enough? Am I too awkward? Am I not skinny enough? What is it?

Why does everyone leave me? Why doesn’t anyone want to be with me?” I break down, burying my face in his chest. I feel so weak.

My shoulders shake as I cry on him. His arms wrap around me, pulling me closer.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Alex. You’re perfect—”

“Not perfect enough to keep anyone around,” I sniff, bitterness lacing my words. I take a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself down. I wipe my cheeks and eyes, but I can’t bring myself to meet his gaze.

I can see our bare feet on the tiles. He pulls me closer, and I rest my cheek against his skin, turning my face away from his.

“You are perfect, Alex,” he repeats.

“If I’m so perfect, then why doesn’t anyone want to be with me?”

“I... I....”

“That’s what I thought.” I step away from his touch, but he takes my hands and steps closer.

His lips brush my cheek, lingering there for a moment. I lean into his touch, closing my eyes.

God, I miss this.

“I’m going to get cleaned up,” I say, reaching over to turn on the shower. I wait for it to heat up. He’s still here.

“Bye, Knox,” I say, staring at the door, hoping he’ll get the hint. I just want to be alone. After a few long seconds, he reaches for the door and opens it.

As he makes his exit, he tosses a comment over his shoulder, his muscles rippling with the movement. “You’re perfect, Alex.” The door closes behind him, leaving me alone in the silence. I let out a deep breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.

“No more crying over a guy, Alex. It’s time to move on,” I murmur to myself, my voice echoing in the empty room.

I peel off my bikini, stepping into the shower and sliding the frosted doors shut behind me. I let the hot steam and water envelop me, soaking into my skin and providing a momentary escape from reality.

I rub my skin in a soothing rhythm, a small comfort against the persistent ache inside. This time, I need to pull myself together. I need to be strong for myself. ~No one else is going to pick you up, Alex.~ I remind myself. ~You’ve got to do it yourself.~