Chapter 21: Pariah
My Hockey Alpha
The morning after my motorcycle ride with Enzo, I woke up to dozens of Twitter notifications. Still
blinking the sleep out of my eyes, I scrunched up my eyebrows as I opened my phone and started to
read all of the notifications.
âWowwww @ninaharpı, alone time with Enzo, huh?â
âEnzo must be joking if heâs hanging around with that ugly nerd @ ninaharpı!!â
âWhat a slut, messing around with two boys from the hockey team at once. Save some for the rest of
us @ ninaharpı!â
I sat up in bed, my eyes glued to the phone as I opened Twitter and realized that someone snuck
pictures of Enzo and I last night. There were pictures of me talking to Justin in the parking lot, a picture
of me as I shoved Justin to the ground, Enzo wiping the tears from my cheek, and getting on his
motorcycle together.
I knew I shouldnât have trusted him. This was just another step in the game he was playing with me!
As I looked at the time, I realized that I had class in twenty minutes. I jumped out of bed and threw on
some jeans and a t-shirt, quickly braided my hair and brushed my teeth, and ran out of my room.
Jessica was standing in the kitchen when I came out of my room. She looked up from making her
coffee briefly, then looked back down. Even in that brief moment, I could see tears in her eyes.
âIt was really nothing,â I said, assuming that she already saw the photos. âJustin was harassing me and
Enzo just happened to show up. He drove me home.â
âEnzo seems to just magically appear around 1 you a lot lately,â she grumbled as she poured her
coffee.
I sighed and adjusted my bag on my shoulder. âIt was just a coincidence,â I said.
Jessica suddenly slammed the coffee pot down, sloshing coffee on the counter. âBullshit,â she said,
glaring at me as tears streamed down her cheeks. âWhat is your relationship with him, really?â
I looked down at the floor and bit my lip. âIâm just the team doctor,â I replied. âBut not for long. Iâm gonna
talk to the dean today and get reassigned.â
âNina, Iâve seen the way he looks at you,â Jessica said, her lip quivering.â
You told me that there was nothing between you before, and I had a hard time believing it then. Now I
know something is going on without a doubt. I just wish you were honest with me, thatâs all.â
Truthfully, I wanted to be honest with Jessica about everything, but right now I had to get to class.
âLook,â I said, âIâll tell you everything later. But Iâm gonna be late for class.â
Jessica sniffled and nodded, then turned away and grabbed a paper towel to start cleaning up the
coffee she spilled. Without another word, I ran out the door.
By the time I got to class, I was already exhausted from all of the dirty looks and whispering from other
girls. I kept my head down and sat in the back of the lecture hall; the girls who I sat next to got up and
moved seats when I sat down, making me feel even more like a pariah. I just tried to keep my head
down and pretend like I was looking at my notes.
As I was looking at my notebook, someone sat down next to me. I looked up to see Lisa sitting beside
me with an angry expression on her face.
âNot today, please, Lisa,â I said, rummaging through my bag for my pen.
Lisa scoffed. âI told you to stay away from both of them,â she growled. âWe had a deal, remember?â
âI remember,â I replied. âBut all of this is out of my control. I didnât ask to be the team doctor.â
Lisa stood and huffed, folding her arms across her chest. âWho knows what sort of dirty deal you made
to be the team doctor?â she said, raising her voice. âFor all I know, you probably slept with someone to
get that position just so you could fuck the whole team by the end of the semester. Youâre such a little
slut!â
The other students started whispering amongst themselves. Lisa, pleased with herself, stomped off to
sit back with her gaggle of bitchy friends.
After the lecture, I was the first to leave the room so I could get ahead of Lisa and her minions.
Thankfully, I ran into Lori in the quad, who seemed to be the only person at this stupid school who
didnât hate me right now.
âThank god,â I said, rushing toward her and walking with her. âI canât take this anymore. I feel like Iâve
got a bullseye on my back.â
Lori looked me up and down. âWell, not a bullseye exactly,â she said, pulling a piece of paper off of my
back. âJust this.â
I grabbed the paper and winced. â
Cheap slut! $5 blowjobs,â the paper said. I whirled around to see a group of students snickering nearby.
âYou think this is funny?!â I said, waving the paper in the air. âFuck you!â
Lori wrapped her arm around my shoulders and guided me away. âIgnore them,â she said, grabbing the
paper from my hands and crumpling it before throwing it in a trash can. âTheyâre not worth your time.
Itâll pass.â
âI never shouldâve gotten involved with Justin or Enzo,â I said, fighting back tears as Lori led me away
from the quad.
âI told you,â she replied. âThat whole team is a bunch of no-good jerks.â
I returned to my dorm after a morning full of dreadful classes, finally relieved to be able to hide in my
room and not have to deal with any of the bullying. So long as I didnât look at my phone or open Twitter,
it would be okay.
I still had to talk to Jessica, though. I could hear music coming from her room so I walked over and
knocked on the door.
âCome in,â she said from inside. I opened the door and stepped in, shutting it behind me. She was
sitting at her desk, surrounded by notebooks and papers as she worked on an assignment.
âHey,â I said. âCan we talk now?â
Jessica put down her pencil and nodded hesitantly.
I took a deep breath. âIâm sorry I wasnât honest with you,â I said. âItâs just that⦠I made a mistake, the
night #Chapter 21 Parah
Justin cheated on me. I was angry and drunk, and I just wanted to fill the void. Enzo was at the bar and
offered to give me some company. I didnât think that it would go any further than that, butâ¦. Heâs been
pursuing me ever since then.â
Jessica looked down at her lap and tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear, biting her lip before
speaking.
âSo what are you two now?â
I shrugged. âI donât know. I want to say weâre friends, but part of me still feels like all of this is some
huge prank that Enzo and Lisa are playing on me. I canât comprehend any other scenario in which
someone like Enzo would ever want an ugly nerd like me.â
Jessica stood up suddenly and stormed over to me. For a second, I thought that she was going to hit
me for sleeping with Enzo, but she didnât. She grabbed #Chapter 21 Pariah
my shoulders and stared into my eyes.
âYou are not ugly,â she said softly. Youâre gorgeous, and smart, and any guy would feel lucky to have
you. Donât you dare call yourself that.â
Jessicaâs words struck me to my core. Tears welled up in my eyes and I collapsed into her, crying into
her shoulder while she rubbed my back.
âI didnât want any of this,â I sobbed into Jessicaâs shoulder. âNone of this would have happened if I had
just never slept with Enzo.â
Once I couldnât cry anymore, Jessica and I hung out for a while until I felt too exhausted to stay up any
longer. I went to my room that night and fell asleep, dreaming about standing by the ocean with Enzo.