Chapter 158

Chapter 158 Her answer

BECKY

My eyes widened in surprise and a lump formed in my throat.

Had Dic kson really just said that?

Did he actually like me?

I hadn’t expected the healer’s confession at all. I’d thought our relationship was purely professional, but judging by the seriousness of his tone, he saw me in a different light.

His intense gaze made me feel dizzy, which prompted me to take a step back to create some space between us.

“I think you might be mistaken,” I managed as I stumbled over my words. “Your feelings might not be what you think they are. We’re in a dangerous environment with a high amount of tension. This might be a case of misattribution of arousal.”

I’d read much on the subject in a book I’d found in the library in Anemond. People in situations such as ours often found themselves dealing with emotions they weren’t used to because they were under duress.

Surely, that had to be the case with Dic kson.

But he shook his head.

“It isn’t a false feeling,” he said slowly with fierce determination. “I’m genuinely attracted to you, Becky. I’ve never felt this way about any woman before. But I’ve contemplated my feelings for an entire day and I’m certain about them.”

He stared up at the moon above us and took a long, deep breath.

“I don’t deserve a woman like you,” he admitted sadly. “I’ve always considered

1/4

myself to be nothing more than an unattractive nerd. The Moon Goddess hasn’t blessed me with desirable features like she has with other men. I’m grateful for my scientific mind, but when it comes to my appearance… I know I’m not much.

Nevertheless. I want you to know my feelings, Becky.”

I studied Dic kson and observed a vulnerability in his demeanor. Most of the men I’d encountered back in Anemond hadn’t ever expressed things like this aloud. I was used to men who treated me like objects. It was clear that Dic kson wasn’t one of them. He was kind and gentle.

“Don’t demean yourself,” I rea*sured him quietly. “You’re a kind, considerate, and truthfully attractive person, despite your outward projection of being hard and reserved.”

“You’re just saying that,” he muttered.

I shook my head. “No. I’m not a liar. I’m being honest, Dic kson.”

A glimmer of hope flashed across his lovely eyes at the sound of my words and his l*ps curled into a smile.

“Would you… accept my feelings?” he asked. “Do you feel the same way, Becky? Be honest with me. I can handle it.”

“With everything going on in this Pack, I haven’t given it much thought,” I admitted, and I offered him an apologetic smile.

Luckily, he didn’t seem hurt by my response and simply took a step closer.

“Can I ask why?” he wondered.

I hesitated and struggled to find an answer. Truth be told, during the duration of my stay, I hadn’t considered Dic kson as any more than a decent colleague. I’d come here to cast aside my thoughts and experiences with men. Sure, Marley had practically encouraged me to shift my affections to someone new, but I hadn’t thought of Dic kson as that person.

I considered whether the image of Silas Moses in my mind had something to do

with my hesitation. The mere thought of him began to intrude my brain and I shook my head in an attempt to banish him from my mind.

After I glanced up at the moon, I took a long, deep breath and shifted my gaze. over to Dic kson.

“I can’t give you an answer at this moment,” I said. “I appreciate your sentiments and I appreciate that you like me, but I don’t know how to respond to it.”

I half-expected the healer to blow up at me or make some snide remark to hurt me, but instead, he simply nodded and appeared vulnerable once again.

I felt awful. This was a complete and total mess. I wished Ca ssandra or Marley were here to help provide support to me.

All of my experience with men came from the ones in my district that Mother had tried to set me up with. Outside of them, I had only ever interacted with Silas, and clearly, that hadn’t ended well for either of us.

What could I do? I didn’t want to lose Dic kson as a friend but I couldn’t lead him on if I was so unsure of my feelings.

As I studied him, I had to admit he was quite handsome. Though his gla*ses were a little on the nerdy side, his wavy reddish-gold hair was thick and very nice. I loved the s at tering of freckles on the bridge of his nose, and his smile was brilliant. Sure, he had a tendency to be quiet and hardened, but underneath that surface, he was intelligent and kind. Any woman would be lucky to have him.

I just wasn’t sure if I was that woman.

“I promise I’ll visit Wild Crawler again once I solve the mystery of the disease,” I said after a moment of pause. “And when I do… I’ll give you an answer then.”

“What happens if you can’t figure it out?” Dic kson said with a sad smile.

I smiled back and answered playfully. “Well, you’re just going to have to pray that I succeed.”

3/4

He didn’t speak at first and then he relaxed and laughed lightly.

“I’ll wait however long you need,” he said, and he pushed his gla*ses up the bridge of his nose. “Have a good rest of the night, Becky. I’ll see you in the morning. before you leave.”

I nodded and tucked my hair behind my ear. “Good night, Dic kson.”

After he gave me one last lingering smile, Dic kson left and I entered the clinic. Although I tried to maintain my composure as I headed to the office, my heart raced in my chest.

Dic kson was unlike any man I’d met before. He wasn’t like the others I’d had the displeasure of knowing in Anemond. He was quiet, almost too quiet, but I could sense the depth of his emotions when he confessed his feelings to me.

I didn’t want to let him down, but there was something in the back of my mind, an annoying image that kept intruding.

Silas’ golden eyes in the garden. The way he’d held my chin and stared at me under the silver light of the moon.

I pushed the image away just as quickly as it arrived. No. No, I couldn’t think about Silas, not now.

So, instead, I decided to focus on my work. I picked up some supplies from the office and then began my evening rounds. I made sure my patients were comfortable and took their vitals. I chatted with them happily and did my best to a*sure them that they were in good hands with Dic son.

I

I completed my tasks quicker than I wanted to. When I returned to the office, I stared at the couch. Part of me wanted to lie down, but the other part knew I wouldn’t sleep too well.

So, I decided to take a walk outside to clear my mind. Surely, a stroll in the moonlight would relax my nerves.