17 Neutralize

Porter

By the crack of dawn the next morning, Amanda was even more furious, a ball of fury as fiery as her hair. She was back to throwing things, while raging and hurling abuse at anyone who tried to get through to her. I could deal with that, though. What I couldn’t accept was the fear that she was hiding underneath the anger. I didn’t want her to be angry, but even more I didn’t want her to be afraid.

Jason called Lee and I to the office to talk about the situation with my mate, while West took a turn guarding the trailer. We both sat down in chairs opposite Jason. He raised his eyebrows at me. “So, what are we going to do?”

I wished I had an answer for him. “We can’t keep her locked up here.”

Jason leaned back in his chair and looked thoughtful. “Of course not. We either have to get her to agree to keep her mouth shut willingly if we can trust her, or we need to get a witch to modify her memories.”

I didn’t want Amanda’s memories modified, but I also didn’t think she was in the mood to agree with anything. She’d probably tell the world about us to spite me and end up in an institution—or worse, on trial in front of the hunters. But she already knew so much, if I explained...

Jason met my eyes evenly, assessing me. “She’s your mate. Can we trust her?”

My heart sank. I wished I could have given an unquestionable yes. “I...” I inhaled. “I don’t know.”

Jason continued. “What I’m worried about is what will happen if she does go running to the human authorities. They wouldn’t believe her, but they could draw other conclusions and we don’t need that focus. Worse, if Bluegorge gets wind of it, they’re going to try to use it against us. And if the Alpha Assembly finds out it’ll make us look like we can’t handle matters of secrecy. We can’t risk that.” He looked at me. “You’ll try to explain it to her.”

“She doesn’t want to listen.”

Jason looked at Lee. “But since she’s too angry to listen, first you have to convince her to call and make excuses so that the humans don’t get suspicious and come looking for her while we sort things out.”

“Me?” Lee asked, horrified. Lee was a bulky fighter and a tough former rogue, but he was young and still had the air of a naïve kid. I didn’t know how he hadn’t lost that during his years running alone.

Jason nodded. “Better you than Porter. She’s furious enough at him already.”

“I don’t—What am I supposed to say to force her to do anything?” He looked like he was ready to beg Jason to spare him.

“Get Nash to help you, he’ll probably make her nervous. Might as well capitalize on that. Try some sort of subtle good cop bad cop thing. Nash can be bad cop.” He paused and looked into space for a moment. “Nash is on his way.”

My wolf growled. He didn’t want this. “Don’t hurt her.”

Jason met my eyes steadily. “She won’t be harmed. You know that. But we need to...neutralize the damage. Only until the assembly is over. Then we’ll deal with the fallout. Or maybe things will have gotten better by then.”

I wished, but doubted. Every time I had contact with her she only got more angry and resistant. I wished I could go back to the first night we had met and just live there. Maybe she hadn’t even really wanted me then, but at least I could pretend.

Lee left once Nash arrived, and the two went to deal with Amanda. I gripped the edge of Jason’s desk to keep myself from following and attacking them. My wolf wanted to stop them. My wolf wanted a lot of things he couldn’t have when it came to my mate.

Jason let out a long breath as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Listen, Porter. I know. I don’t want to make things any worse, but I don’t see a way around this. Her temper makes her a wild card.”

“I understand.”

“How’s your wolf holding up?”

I laughed harshly. “How do you think my wolf is? My mate hates me and I’ve trapped her here.”

"I’ve trapped her here. This is on me. When I let you guys talk me into this position, it became my responsibility.”

For one second I was distracted from my mate woes by my friend. He had been reluctant to take on the responsibility of the alpha, but the role was essential, the pack couldn’t exist without one. Jason was a natural leader, but he had unfairly blamed himself for not stopping the horror that had hit Glenhaven. “Do you hate it? Being alpha?”

Jason paused as he thought about it. “No. I’m glad I’m doing it. But it never really fits comfortably, either. It’s better now that I have Carrie. And not just because she’s so natural at being luna, and pack management, and paperwork bullshit. She’s my other part.”

Envy for something I hadn’t even known I wanted before I met Amanda welled up in me. I wanted that with her so badly it hurt, and it seemed less likely all the time. How it had gotten even less likely than her telling me she never wanted to see me again, I didn’t even know. It was a record low.

My wolf whimpered again. I pushed aside the feeling. I’d see this to the end.