: Chapter 17

“You made the taco dip, right?”

I nod, scrolling through my Instagram in the passenger seat. “Yeah.”

“And the bacon-wrapped jalapeño poppers?” Pike asks.

“Yes,” I hiss. “You only asked me like ten times.”

He’s quiet for a moment, driving through a neighborhood not far from ours.

I mean, his.

Ours.

“I just like them, is all,” he says.

A lazy smile tugs at my lips, and I feel a hint of pride. I love that he’s not just nice about things. He actually truly likes what I contribute. Whether it’s a meal or a snack I’ll leave on the counter for him after work or the new rock pad I made for the backyard yesterday, which he loved.

I’d had the idea after mudding and noticing how the hosing off made more mud, so I decided it would be fun to put a box of smooth stones by the hose, so now we can stand on that to hose off and keep our feet clean at the same time. It also drains the water exceptionally well, and it’ll be handy. When we go mudding again.

It’s been a week since that night and six days since we had Kyle’s kids over swimming, and I’ve tried to morph what happened between us into just some freak accident about me being on the rebound and vulnerable for attention or something, but it hasn’t stopped what I’ve started to feel for him from growing. It’s a crush. We’re alone together too much, and it’s understandable we’d form a bond.

Hopefully, this block party pot luck, and getting out of the house and around other people, will put things in perspective again.

“And it’s not turkey bacon, right?” he suddenly blurts out.

Huh?

“On the poppers?” he clarifies, and I can see him looking at me out of the corner of my eyes.

Jesus, is he still thinking about the food?

“And you didn’t sneak in anything weird like wheat germ or use cauliflower instead of actual potatoes in the potato salad like some of those low carb bullshit diets call for, right?” he goes on.

I burst into laughter, letting my head fall back, my phone drop in my lap, and my eyes close. Oh, my God.

“Jordan, I’m serious,” he scolds. “I’ve been looking forward to this all week.”

My body convulses as I shake my head at him and smile. He’s so weird.

And I’m amused he’s craving the stuff I made so vehemently.

I finish chuckling quietly and bury my nose in my phone again. “Everything is fatty and savory and delicious,” I tell him. “Don’t worry. I’m letting you have a cheat day today. You can clog your arteries until the cows come home.”

I feel him nod. “Good.” There’s a brief pause and then he speaks up again. “If you feel uncomfortable, though, let me know. I can take you home.”

“I’ll be fine,” I reply. “I talk to people all the time at work. I know how to make conversation.”

Dutch and his wife invited Pike, Cole, and me, but Cole said he had to work an extra shift today and couldn’t make it.

But as I’m scrolling my feed, I happen upon a shot of Patrick’s Last Ditch, the super convenience store just outside of town, and I recognize Cole’s car at the pump. It’s his post.

headin outta town for the dayyyyy! whoop!

Working, my ass. But it does seem unusually ambitious of him. Taking a road trip on his day off. Surprisingly, I don’t scan for Elena or any other girls who might be with him, but I do feel a pang of resentment that he’s just carrying on like I never existed. I mean, it’s not like I’d answer the phone anyway, but it would be nice to know that he’d tried to call. To know he’s at least concerned about how I’m doing. I guess dating each other ruined whatever friendship we had, too.

I don’t know why I care. My dad, my mom, my ex-boyfriends…. There’s something to be said for keeping your circle small, I guess. I have Cam and Shel.

We turn onto Owens and immediately see the street ahead blocked off with a couple barricades. Pike swerves over to the right and parks along the curb. It’s only a little after two in the afternoon, and while the party started a couple hours ago, Dutch’s wife said it would go well into the night, so the kids could have some fun with the sparklers.

We climb out and slowly stack the food in our arms, Pike taking his precious trays of poppers and taco dip, while I roll the small cooler with drinks inside and the potato salad propped on top.

“Hey, man,” Dutch says, heading for Pike with a beer in his hand, which is slipped inside of a Koozie that reads I PEE IN POOLS.

“Hey, Pike!” someone else calls from inside the barricades.

Pike nods at whomever, and I stop alongside them, Dutch casting me a smile. God knows what conclusions he’s drawing as to why I’m here with Pike. Why I’m always with Pike. Not sure if he knows Cole and I broke up.

A pretty woman with dark auburn hair comes up and takes the trays from Pike, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek.

“How are you?” she asks, smiling up at him.

He reaches down and takes the potato salad off the cooler for me. “Good. How are you?”

“Oh, we’re kickin’ it now,” she jokes, leading the way into the party. “Although, this one,” she gestures to Dutch, “had to beer up every time he was forced to move one picnic table this morning.”

Pike chuckles, and I gather this is Dutch’s wife.

“This is Jordan,” Pike introduces me. “Cole’s, um…friend. He couldn’t make it.”

I laugh to myself at his stammer. I guess it’s a better explanation than “this is Cole’s ex-girlfriend who still lives with me and constantly argues with me, and I really hate her music, but look…taco dip!”

“I’m Teresa,” she says, rolling her tongue over the r and looking over her shoulder at me with a smile. She gestures with my trays. “Are these cream cheese?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Yay,” she sing-songs, leading us over to the tables of food.

Everything is set up like a buffet, three long tables lined up together and filled with food. There are several coolers at the end, and the smell of charred hamburger hits the back of my throat, and my mouth waters. Groups of people lounge on chairs in their yards or in the blocked-off street, and kids run everywhere, playing tag or rolling down the hills of some of the lawns. A few teenagers not much younger than me sit around, playing on their phones, while the adults laugh and talk, occasionally stopping to bark orders at one of their kids. It might not be technically summer yet, but the heat beats down and is only lessened by the sporadic cloud cover. It’s a beautiful day.

“Come on,” Dutch says, nudging Pike.

Pike glances at me, probably to make sure I’m alright, and finally sets the salad down before walking away. He trails off, shaking hands with some friends and twisting off the cap of a beer someone hands him.

I shuffle next to Teresa as she places everything on the table. “How long have you and Dutch been married?” I ask.

She sighs. “Fourteen years.” She looks over at me. “And three kids later, I still want to kill him every day, but he makes good spaghetti, so…”

I snort. I’m sure she’s just trying to be funny, because I doubt she can explain them. She looks pretty put together, while he’s got on a flannel and Shit Kickers.

“This looks so good,” she says, removing the Saran Wrap. “Thank you for bringing so much. It won’t last long.”

Just then, an arm comes between us, the hand swiping up four poppers by the toothpicks and stealing them away. I recognize the ink on the arm right away.

“Hey,” I scold Pike, but I can’t shake my smile.

He peers down at me under heavy lids looking entirely too sexy. “Excuse me,” he whispers and turns away, heading back to his friends. He glances back at me, smirking, and I cock an eyebrow at him. Should have known he’d be all scared they’d get eaten before he had a chance.

“I hear you and Cole are staying with Pike for a while,” Teresa says.

“Yeah.” I swing our cooler over with the others and grab a water bottle out of it. “It seems paying for our own apartment was too-adulty for us,” I joke.

She nods knowingly. “Take your time. I wanted to get away from my parents so badly, and then when I found I had no money, because bills were way more responsibility than I bargained for, I ran back home.” She picks up her Solo cup and holds it up to her lips, gazing out at the guys. “I’m glad Pike’s got some company, though. That house is too big for one person.”

I take a drink of my water, following her gaze. I’d hate to think of Pike living in that house alone after I leave. He really should be sharing his life with someone.

“I know a few single women who wouldn’t mind changing that if given the chance,” I remark, thinking of April, my sister, and half the moms on our block who flirt with him when they pass his house on their ‘jogs’.

“Yeah, but he’s a loner,” she replies.

I nod, smiling in agreement. “Yeah, I’m starting to understand that.”

“He wasn’t always like that.” She glances at me, taking a sip of her drink. “He was a lot like Cole back in the day. Partying, laughing, speeding, breaking rules…. He even spent the night in jail once.”

My eyebrows dart up. Really?

I turn my eyes back on him and watch him pull the baseball cap out of his back pocket and pull it over his light brown hair, the muscles of his tattooed arm bulging against his T-shirt.

“But then Cole was born,” I say, guessing the story from there.

“Yeah,” Teresa sighs, rocking left to right to the music playing from some speaker in one of the houses. “Someone had to be the adult, and Lindsay…” She trails off and then straightens, clearing her throat. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to gossip.”

“It’s okay,” I tell her. “He certainly doesn’t give up much.”

I’ve seen Cole’s mom here and there, and it’s hard to picture her with Pike. She’s pretty ostentatious, and I feel like the Pike I know would get whiplash trying to keep up with her.

At least, I know from Cole has told me that it didn’t last long between his parents, and if he didn’t have some of the same mannerisms as his father, I’d wonder if Pike was sure Cole was his son. She’s had at least four boyfriends whom I’ve seen in the past couple of years.

Teresa exhales a breath and lowers her voice. “Pike is proof that we learn when we’re forced to and maturity is more the result of experience than age,” she tells me. “He was the only twenty-year-old I knew working two jobs without even a second thought to all the friends he was losing because he could never hang out.”

I look over at her, suddenly wanting to know it all. I want any insight into who he was before I knew him.

“All of his friends were buying hot cars,” she continues, “but he’s been driving his dad’s old pick-up ever since I’ve known him. It was never a sacrifice to him, and there was never any question about taking care of Cole. It takes conviction to do what you know you’re supposed to do regardless of what you want.”

Her words hit me, and I let my gaze drop. Conviction to do what you know you’re supposed to do…

And I suddenly feel like shit.

He wanted me the other night. And if it weren’t for Cole, I have no doubt we would’ve slept together.

But Cole is there, between us, and we can’t change that. Not ever. It’s wrong, and no matter how much I want him, he would only hate himself afterward. His son will always be more important than anything else.

“He’s a good man,” she says.

Then she turns to put a serving spoon in the salad and open the chips for the taco dip, and I stand there, feeling like a truck is headed for me, but I can’t move.

He is a good man.

I can’t ruin that.

I suddenly feel like I need to get out of here. Pike’s not my family, and as natural as it feels to be where he is, it’s on borrowed time.

Over the next couple of hours, I keep my distance from Pike. Teresa gives me a tour of her house, I sit with her and few others, eating and talking, although I don’t say much, and one of Dutch’s kids wrangles me into dodgeball in someone’s driveway. I help kids light sparklers, although, it’s not yet dark, and help Teresa take empty tins to the garbage and clean up soda cans and water bottles.

I’m not sure if Pike is paying me any mind, because I haven’t looked at him to check his whereabouts, but once in a while, I feel the back of my neck get warm or a tingle spread up my spine.

“Oh, hey, Jordan,” someone says, hopping over my legs, about to trip. “Didn’t see you there.”

He laughs, and I look over from where I lay on the grass to see Carter Hewitt smiling over his shoulder at me. Another guy and girl stand around him, but I don’t remember their names even though we all graduated together.

Carter and I were supposed to go tubing today, but he cancelled due to this block party his parents asked him to be here for. Luckily, too, because I was having a hard time talking myself into not cancelling. I didn’t want to let Pike win that argument, but he was right. Tubing is an excuse to get drunk, and I wasn’t in the mood.

I sit up and dust the grass off my arms that I was using for a pillow to watch the stars start to come out. “Hey, what are you guys doing?” I ask.

“Anything but this.” He sighs. “There’s a shitload of people at the A&W. Wanna come? I’ll buy you a float.”

I chuckle under my breath and stand up. That actually sounds really good.

“I haven’t been there in so long,” I remark. “Why not? Let me just tell my ride.”

He and his friends head to their cars up the street, and I jog over to the lawn chairs full of guys in the center of the road. Pike sits with his back to me, while Dutch lounges next to him with his wife on his lap, and a few others around the circle I recognize from Pike’s poker games.

“Hey,” I say, coming up to Pike’s side. “Some friends are heading to the A&W. Root beer floats and that. They invited me to come.”

I’m not asking permission, but it kind of comes out like that.

He doesn’t look at me, just tips up his bottle of beer and takes a sip. “Root beer float?” he repeats sternly. “What are you…five?”

Jerk.

“Noooooo,” I say, “but that’s how you like to treat me sometimes.”

Dutch laughs quietly next to him but speaks up, in my defense, “Hey, I still love floats, man.”

I roll my eyes at Pike and look to Teresa, smiling. “Thank you so much for having me,” I tell her. “This was nice.”

“Thanks for coming, sweetheart. And thanks for the food.”

“How you getting home?” Pike interjects, still avoiding my eyes.

“I’ll bring her.”

I look over to see Carter stepping up next to us, and Pike turns his head just a hair to see him before turning away again.

I lift the corner of my mouth in a little smirk and bend down, speaking a few inches from his ear. “Do I have a curfew?”

Dutch snorts, and I see a little snarl flare on Pike’s mouth before it disappears.

“Have fun,” he says tightly.

I stand up again and turn, following Carter to his truck as amusement lightens my mood again.

Pike is jealous.

And while I don’t want to be thinking about him, I really like knowing he’s trying not to think about me.

How much of what he wants is he hiding or burying or trying to suppress? What does it look like when he doesn’t control himself anymore?

“Oh, my God, did you hear about Jillian?” Selena Gardner gestures to another girl, intermittently chewing on the end of a straw. “She tells Dean and Matt that one of them is the father, they go to get paternity tests, and neither one of them is the dad!” She laughs.

“Oh, my God!” The other girl’s eyes bug out. “Shit, does she even know whose it is?”

“Who cares?” Selena furrows her brow, leaning back on the car again. “I’d be more concerned about catching something other than a baby. I don’t leave the house without condoms anymore. You never know when you’re going to need them. Like really…”

Everyone laughs, and I fake a half-smile in an effort not to be awkward, but I’m sure I am, since I have barely said two words in the last ten minutes.

We got to the A&W an hour ago, and as expected, the place is full of teenagers and families with truck beds full of kids. The moonlight and crickets compete with all the headlights and car stereos, and the smell of charbroiled burgers and hot asphalt fills the air as engines rev and car doors slam.

There’s not a single person here I’ve talked to more than twice since I graduated over a year ago.

“I love this,” someone says to Selena, reaching over and handling her small Louis Vuitton purse. “Where’d you get it?”

“Isn’t it cute?” Selena lifts the strap over her head, showing the girl the purse. “I feel kind of bad. I owe my dad so much money, but I just had to have it.”

I drop my eyes to the purse, equal amounts jealous and aggravated. Sure, I’d love a purse like that, and I’d love to have her problems where she can mooch off family, because that’s what family’s for when you’re nineteen.

Part of me wishes I could ever be like that.

But even after I finish school, I’ll be so strapped with student loans, frivolities like designer handbags will still be a long shot. And strangely enough, I’m okay with that. I’d rather have a decent car. A house. The ability to pay all of my bills in the same month.

Selena and I are living through completely different problems, and I relate to her even less now than I did in high school. I’m sure the feeling is mutual.

Without making up some excuse to escape, I just turn and walk toward the side of the building, digging out my cell phone.

“Hey, Jordan. You okay?” I hear Carter call.

I turn my head, seeing him stand with some others, and I nod.

Once I reach somewhere slightly quieter, I dial Cam and hold the phone to my ear, tossing my empty cup in the trash can.

“Hey,” she chirps, knowing it’s me.

“Hey,” I say, her voice instantly soothing me. “Are you working? Can you come and get me?”

“I am working,” she tells me, “but I can split for a half hour. Where are you? Is everything okay?”

I notice music in the background and realize she’s at work.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” I tuck my hair behind my ear. “I’m at the A&W. I just want to go home.”

Home.

I pause every time I say it, knowing full-well it’s not really my home, but it feels weird to say, “Pike’s house” or “Cole’s dad’s house,” too.

After I hang up with Cam, I hit the bathroom first and then let Carter know I’m catching a ride home. There’s momentary disappointment, but I’m pretty sure it’s because he’s lost his hook-up for the night. Although, I’m not sure how he thought I would be anyway, especially after ignoring me to talk about cars and then being all-too-happy to let me get wrangled into “catching up” with a bunch of girls I never did any catching up with before, even in high school.

It’s not that there’s really anything wrong with Carter or Selena or anyone else here. But when they talk, you can tell they have nice things, like money in their pockets. And their moms. They have this lightness to their voices where you can hear that they haven’t been evicted from an apartment before or are trying to decide if they should trade in their smartphones for a flip phone, because it’s cheaper.

I’m different from them, and I always have been. Being here tonight just brings those feelings back, the feelings I hated having in high school, and when I’m around Pike, I…

I knit my brow, thinking.

When I’m around him, I’m in my element, I guess.

And more than anything right now, I just want to go home. Or wherever he is.

Cam arrives in less than fifteen minutes, and I climb into her car, not protesting as she speeds through town toward Pike’s neighborhood. Her boss is lenient, but the longer she’s away, the more money she loses, so I let her rush.

“Thank you,” I tell her. “Sorry to pull you away.”

She’s in a thigh-length black coat, tied at the waist, and I’m pretty sure she’s not dressed in much underneath, just slipped something on to walk through the parking lot without getting molested.

“You sure you’re okay?” she asks again.

I grab the dash with one hand as she makes a sharp right. “Yeah.”

“Everything going fine with the dad?” She glances over at me. “You know you can come to my place any time. You’re welcome to stay.”

“I know.”

Nothing is wrong. In fact, I’m now realizing everything that’s right, and it’s not at the A&W. I know what I want, and I know why it can’t be with Pike. I just need to find someone exactly like him.

I clutch the root beer float I bought for him as a gag as my sister winds through the streets and finally pulls up in front of Pike’s house.

I groan, my stomach still somersaulting. “Thank you.”

I climb out of the car, hooking my wallet on my wrist and closing the door.

“Is that April Lester’s car?” Cam asks through the open window.

I turn my head, seeing a red Mazda Miata convertible parked behind Pike’s truck, and my stomach sinks.

What the fuck? It’s late.

I dart my eyes to the house and see that it’s dark, no lights on anywhere. What would they be doing in there with no lights on?

A lump swells in my throat, and I feel like I’m going to throw up.

“She’s probably selling Girl Scout cookies,” Cam jokes.

But I’m seething. “It’s not cookie season.”

“Oh, honey, for some of us, it’s always cookie season.”

And I turn to my sister who makes a V with her fingers in front of her mouth and sticks her tongue between the two fingers, wiggling it.

I push off the door, mumbling, “Bite me.”

But she just laughs, kicking her car into gear. “Goooooood luuuuuuck.”

It takes two tries to swallow as I look up to the house. What is she doing here? What is she doing in there?

Yes, it’s his house, and to my knowledge he hasn’t hooked up with anyone since I came here weeks ago. He’s young, single—he has every right to bring women home.

But it doesn’t stop my heart from beating a mile a minute or my stomach from hurting. I’m here. Couldn’t he go to her house instead? Or to a motel?

I walk up the steps of the front porch, my heart pulsing in my ears, and turn the knob, but it’s locked. Pike almost always leaves the door unlocked for me. Even if I’m at work until two in the morning.

I try to keep the float stable in my left hand as I dig in my shorts for the key. Pulling it out, I unlock the door, dread weighing me down as I open it. If I walk in on them doing something, I’m not sure I won’t burst into tears or start screaming.

Please, don’t, Pike. Please don’t do this.

I step into the house, softly closing the door behind me and locking it. I look around the dark living room, and my ears perk at the silence, listening for anything that will confirm my worst fears.

Slowly trailing into the kitchen, I see my candy apple candle lit on the table, its soft glow brightening the darkness. I didn’t light it, though.

I clench my teeth. Was he going for ambience or something?

I look out the window over the sink and into the backyard, seeing the pool lit up but no one out there.

Walking back for the living room, I head toward the stairs, but then I hear muffled laughing, and I stop. Heading for the basement door, I gently twist the knob and quietly pull open the door, immediately hearing their clear voices.

“I want to hit the black one,” April whines.

“Black one is last,” Pike explains, his voice deeper and more playful than usual. “You put it in a pocket now, you lose the game.”

“What do I get if I win?”

“What do you want?”

She laughs softly, and I hear shuffling. I can’t see them as they’re around the corner at the pool table, but she’s doing something, and I squeeze the door knob in frustration.

And then I hear his hushed, low voice. “I think that’s if I win,” he answers to whatever she’s doing, and I can hear the smile in his voice.

“Mmm-hmm,” she moans, and my eyes go round, not sure if she’s doing something to him or he’s doing something to her.

What the hell? Is he serious? How long have they been here already? He knew I could be home anytime.

I’m a kid, for crying out loud. How am I supposed to get school work done and sleep if they’re going to go at it all night?

And this is what he was planning, I’m sure. If they wanted to play pool, they could’ve gone to The Cue. He brought her here for sex.

I march back through the kitchen and into the laundry room, ripping open the washer door, and dumping the root beer float into the bin, paper cup and all. I slam the lid shut again and start the machine and then tear open the dryer door, pulling out his shit and slamming that door, too. If he wants to treat me like a kid, then here we go.

I jog up the stairs and swing into my bedroom, turning on my boombox and blaring Bad Medicine as I slip off my day clothes and pull on a pair of sleep shorts and half T-shirt.

Grabbing the handle of the tape player, I saunter back downstairs to the kitchen table and slide into a chair in front of the latest landscaping model I’m working on for school with the music still booming beside me.

It’s barely ten seconds before I hear Pike’s heavy footfalls on the basement stairs, and I tense my jaw, bracing myself.

He walks into the kitchen and comes right up to the table, hitting the Stop/Eject button on my player. The house immediately falls silent, and I pop my head up, feigning an innocent look on my face.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I say. “I didn’t think anyone was here.”

Pike stands up straight, pinning me with a look that says I’m a terrible liar.

“Hey, Jordan.” April enters the kitchen behind him. “How are you?”

I give a tight smile. “Fine.” And I return my attention to my model, messing with some fake grass.

Pike is still staring down at me, and there’s a long, awkward silence as April probably tries to figure out what’s happening now.

“I’ll… head out,” she finally says.

Pike hesitates a moment, and I can see his fist tighten around the chair on the other side of the table, but I won’t meet his eyes.

I know I just acted like a brat, and I’m a little embarrassed, especially since I didn’t fool him, but…

He could’ve taken her anywhere. He brought her here in hopes I’d see them together.

He walks her out, and I can’t hear the few muffled words they exchange, but as soon as the door closes, and I hear the lock click, I exhale.

She’s gone.

He walks back into the kitchen, to the fridge, and I notice he’s still wearing the navy blue T-shirt and jeans from earlier with his work boots still on. He’s not the slightest bit undressed, so that’s a good sign.

“Sorry if that was awkward,” he tells me, pulling out a soda. “We actually just got here ourselves. She stopped by to—.”

“It’s your house. I don’t care,” I tell him, faking concentration on my task. “Do what you want.”

“Are you sure?” he asks, amusement in his tone. “You were slamming the washer and dryer doors and blaring music at ten at night. You seem…irritable.”

I shake my head, shrugging. “Of course not. I wouldn’t expect you to change your lifestyle just because I’m here. Go for it.”

He’s silent, and I can see him out of the corner of my eye just standing there a moment. I feel bad that I’m now elated he’s going to bed alone. I want him to have someone. Someone to love him and make him feel good.

But…

Not her.

And not anyone else, actually.

I’m falling for him. I want him to have me.

And he’s so stubborn, he pulled that tonight just to prove how much he doesn’t want me.

“But I did think you’d have some damn taste, for crying out loud,” I remark, gluing on more grass under the fake tree.

“Excuse me?”

I look up. “Did you know she broke up Marcus Weathers’ marriage?” I asked him. “She hangs around the bar, waiting to see who’s going to take her home on any given night, and she’s not picky. Married, taken, whatever…”

“Good thing I’m not taken then,” he fires back. “There’s no problem.”

I lower my eyes and recap the glue, realizing I lost that round.

“You can do better,” I finally mumble.

It’s not that I hate April. I didn’t care what she did to whose marriage before. It takes two to tango, doesn’t it, and Marcus Weathers was also to blame.

But I care now that it’s hitting too close to home. Pike is taken.

“What business is it of yours?” he challenges, walking back over to the table. “I’m a grown ass man who’s been having sex since before you were born. I’m used to getting it whenever I like, and I don’t answer to you, you hear me?” His words bite, and I feel small. “I’ll keep doing whatever I want, regardless of the opinions of some kid living under my roof.”

The word “kid” hits me like a hammer, and my heart sinks. I grind my teeth, twisting the hurt into anger.

“Got it.” I look up at him. “I’ll go to my room then.”

I rise from my seat, and his eyes immediately drop to my bare stomach. The T-shirt falls well above my belly button, and I revel in the way his body freezes and he has to tear his eyes away.

I circle back around the table, toward the living room, but remember the candle burning. Turning back, I make a show of leaning across the oval table, arching my back and feeling my shorts sink lower to expose the red strap of the same thong I wore when we made out in the yard a week ago.

“Forgot about the candle,” I say, raising my heated eyes to him. “But I can leave it burning if you want. I know the red’s your favorite.”

Red candle or red thong? Doesn’t take more than one guess to tell which one his attention is on.

He swallows, his timid eyes glancing at the red silk peeking out. I quirk a smile, and his eyes dart to mine, thinning.

“You’re pissing me off more by the second.” His raspy growl sounds dangerous. “You ruined my night, and I’ve still got a lot of steam to blow off, so tread carefully.”

I close my eyes, making my wish, and blow out the candle before standing up straight again.

“This ‘kid’ is the reason you have so much steam to blow off, isn’t it?” I taunt. “You’re such a liar.”

He squares his shoulders, breathing hard. “Go to your room, Jordan.”

“Happily.” I back away, teasing him. “I have a vibrator up there with bigger balls than you.”

He rushes me and lifts me up, tossing me over his shoulder, and I grunt as the air is forced out of me and his shoulder digs into my stomach.

What the hell?

He pounds up the stairs, and I feel like I’m going to fall the higher we get.

“Pike, stop it!” I yell.

“Then stop pushing me!” he bellows, and a slap lands on my ass.

I yelp, the burn spreading across my left cheek. Son of a…. I reach back and try to cover my behind in case he spanks me again.

It sounds like he kicks open my bedroom door, and the next thing I know, I’m flying off his shoulder and crashing back onto my bed.

My elbows dig into the mattress, and my head jerks forward, my hair flying into my face.

“Now go to bed!” he barks.

I blow the hair out of my eyes and see him walking out. “Tuck me in?”

I see him drop his head, and he’s breathing so hard, like he’s almost out of fuel. He turns, calming his voice just a hair. “What the hell has gotten into you tonight?”

Is he kidding?

I shoot off the bed and stand in front of him. “You brought her here, that’s what.”

“It’s my house!”

I shake my head. “She won’t satisfy you,” I tell him. “She’s not what you want.”

“So, you’re jealous?”

I lower my voice, approaching him. “You have everything you need in this house. There’s no reason to look elsewhere for…” I drop my head, suddenly a little embarrassed, “for anything you need,” I tell him.

I’m all he needs.

His chest rises and falls in front of my eyes, and I inhale his scent that’s unique to only him. Sun, wood, and the faint fragrances of his body wash, shampoo, and the Tide his clothes have been washed in. He smells like a hot summer night and how I wish my first time had gone, and I soak it up while I can, because any minute, he’s going to storm off.

“So, you had a little tantrum on purpose then?” he says, not really asking. “Because you wanted to be the one in my bed tonight?”

I dart my eyes up, narrowing them. “Because you invited her over to hurt me, but I know your game, and you’ll be the one who loses,” I retort.

I close the inch between us, my shirt brushing his. His chin drops as he looks down at me, and my heart pounds against my chest.

“Because even if she stayed and she rode you to kingdom-come all night long,” I tell him, “you’ll still wake up thinking about me before you even remember she’s in bed next to you.”

His breathing grows heavier, and I can see him weakening.

I continue. “You’ll be wondering what I’m doing in my bed alone, if I’m awake and warm, or,” I push up on my toes and hover my mouth over his jaw as I whisper, “if I’m touching myself and dreaming about you coming in and eating me out through my panties.”

He sucks in a breath, closing his eyes, and I can feel him get hard through his jeans. “Jordan, please,” he begs, sounding desperate. “Fuck.”

I try to keep my smile to myself, but I’m so happy. I know he wants me.

I hook my fingers on the waist of his jeans, nudging his chin with my nose to taunt him. “I know you want to,” I whisper again. “You want to grab me so bad.”

I stay right there, up on him, but I take my hands off him and slide my fingers into my own waistband instead, gently and slowly slipping off my shorts. They fall down to my feet, and I fist my fingers, my body so alive with fear and desire and need.

Look at me.

Touch me.

“I’m dying to taste you,” I tell him. “And to feel you. Every day it’s getting harder and harder to ignore what my body wants. I wake up so wet, Pike.” I move my mouth over to his, layering our lips. “I want you to want me. I want to see you wanting me and getting off on me.”

I can feel the slickness between my legs, and his breath is so hot. I lower myself to my feet but keep my eyes on his.

“I love how you worry about me and want to protect me,” I say. “But a girl has needs, too, and eventually, I’ll have to find another man who can do your job better.”

Rage burns behind his frozen stare, but he doesn’t blink.

“Another man will kiss me,” I breathe out, “and take off my clothes and go at me in his bed, in his shower, and spread me wide over breakfast on his kitchen table…”

Pike’s lips are almost twisted in a snarl, and he’s breathing hard—in and out, in and out as he glares down at me.

It’s there. I can feel him. It’s like we’re wrapped up together, the heat between us almost suffocating, and all he has to do is reach out and pull me into his arms.

Take me.

I wait.

I’m yours. Just reach out and take me.

But he doesn’t.

He just stands there, and tears burn at the backs of my eyes as he hovers, unmoving.

Unwilling.

My heart is breaking.

I shake my head. “You don’t have a clue what to do with me, do you?”

I scoff and push away from him, but then suddenly, he grabs my arms hauling me back to him. I gasp as he puts his hands under my arms and lifts me off my feet, bringing me face to face with him like I’m five years old.

“Oh, I may be out of practice, little girl,” he bites out in a threatening tone, “but I think I’ll figure it out.”

And he brings me in, kissing me and stealing my breath so hard all I can do is wrap my legs around him and hold on.

Fuck yes.