: Chapter 2
Birthday Girl
âI donât think this is a good idea,â I tell Cole, pulling out my stacked milk crates from the back of his car. âI feel like a freeloader.â
My boyfriend brandishes that quirky tilt to his lips where you only see the left side of his teeth. âSo, what are you gonna do then?â He looks up at me, sliding my collapsible drafting table toward him and lifting it up. âStay at your parentsâ?â
His blue eyes are hooded, probably from the lack of sleep, as we both walk over and set our loads on the porch steps to Pike Lawsonâs house.
Our new home.
The past few days have been crazy, and I canât believe that guy is his father. What are the chances? I wish weâd met a little differently. Not driving down to the police station at two oâclock in the morning to get his sonâmy boyfriendâout of jail.
âCome on, I told you,â Cole says, walking back to the car for another load. âMy dad was the one who offered to let us stay here. We just chip in on chores, and this gives us a chance to save up for a new place. A better place.â
Right. And how many kids move back home to do just that and end up staying for another three years instead? His dad had to know what he was opening himself up to.
Iâll make every effort to be gone as soon as possible, but Cole doesnât save money. Setting up a new place, with a depositâwhich we lost at the previous apartment due to minor damages to the carpetsâand utilities will take substantial cash. Once we get a place, Cole can help pay for it, but actually getting in there and set up will be on me.
Itâs been three days since the theater and meeting Pike Lawson. Once we got Cole out, I came home to find our apartment completely trashed. Apparently, he was trying to throw me a late birthday party at our place, but our friendsâhis friendsâdidnât wait to start the festivities. By eleven, everyone was drunk, the pizza was gone, but hey, they saved me a piece of cake.
I had to go into the bathroom so I wouldnât cry in front of them when I saw the place.
Apparently, a fight started during the party, neighbors complained about the noise, Cole mouthed off, and he and another one of his buddies were taken in to cool down. Mel, the landlord, stated in no uncertain terms that heâd had enough and Cole had to go. I was welcome to stay, but there was no way I could pay for everything by myself. Not after Iâd already drained my savings, helping repair his car last month.
And thank goodness the cops let him go without bail this time, because I didnât have a hundred bucks to squeeze out of anywhere, much less twenty-five hundred.
âYouâre his son,â I remind Cole, grabbing my floor lampâone of the only big things we didnât put into storage, since Coleâs dad already had one of the spare bedrooms furnished. âBut me staying here, too, with him paying all the bills? Itâs not right.â
âWell, I donât think itâs right for me to have to go without this every day,â he teases with a cocky grin as he pulls me to him and wraps his arms around my body. I release the lamp and smile, indulging his playfulness even though Iâm feeling out of sorts. Itâs been a long time since Iâve been at ease long enough to forget the stress hitting us at every turn. We havenât smiled together in a while, and itâs starting to not come naturally anymore.
But right now, he has that boyish glint to his eyes like heâs just the most adorable tornado and âdonât you just love me?â
He plants his forehead to mine, and I thread my fingers through the back of his blond hair and look up into his dark blue eyes that always give the impression that he just remembered he has a whole pie waiting in the refrigerator.
Taking my right hand in his, he pulls both up between us, and I clasp his in mine, already knowing what heâs doing. Our fingers wrap around the otherâs hand, our thumbs side by side, and he holds my eyes, the same memories passing between us.
To anyone else it looks like an arm-wrestling grip, but when we look down, we see our thumbs side-by-side and the small, pea-sized scar we both have and share with only one other person. Itâs silly when we tell people the storyâa friendâs little brotherâs Nerf gun that was too small for our hands, and we got skinned when we tried to use it, all three of us laughing when we realized we had the same exact scar at the head of our metacarpals.
Now itâs just Cole and me. Just the two of us. Two scars, no longer three.
âStay with me, okay?â he whispers. âI need you.â
And for a rare moment, I see vulnerability.
I needed him, too, once, and he was there. Weâve been through a lot, and heâs probably my best friend.
Which is why Iâm too forgiving with him. I donât want him to hurt.
And which is why I let him talk me into this. I really donât want to move in with my dad and stepmom, and itâs just until the end of the summer. Once my student loans come in for the fall, and Iâve saved up from working this summer, I can afford my own place again. I think.
Cole holds me tight and remains quiet. He knows Iâm still mad at him about getting arrested and the damage to the apartment, but he knows I care. Iâm starting to wonder if itâs one of my faults. Definitely my weakness.
He reaches down and cups my ass, diving into my neck and kissing me. I gasp as he presses himself into me, and I laugh, squirming out of his arms.
âStop!â I scold in a whisper as I glance nervously to the two-story house behind me. âWe donât have privacy anymore.â
He smirks. âMy dadâs still at work, babe. He wonât be home until around five.â
Oh. Well, thatâs good at least. I look up and down the neighborhood street, though, seeing house after house, curtains open, and kids playing here and there. Itâs not like the apartments where everyone sees your business but doesnât really care, because youâre transient and wonât stick around long enough for anyone to think youâre worth their attention. Here, in a real neighborhood, people invest their time in who lives next door.
I take a deep breath, soaking in the smell of grills and the sound of lawn mowers. Itâs a really nice neighborhood. I wonder if this could be me someday. Will I find a great job? Have a nice house? Will I be happy?
Cole bows his forehead to mine again. âIâm sorry, you know.â He doesnât look at me, staring at the ground. âI keep screwing up, and I donât know why. Iâm just so restless. I just canâtâ¦â
But he doesnât finish. He just shakes his head, and I know. I always know.
Cole isnât a loser. Heâs nineteen. Impulsive, angry, and confused.
But unlike me, he never had to grow up. Thereâs always someone taking care of him.
âYou know who youâre meant to be,â I tell him. âCommitting to it is a different process for everyone, but youâll get there.â
He raises his eyes, and a moment of hesitance crosses his gaze like heâs going to say something, but then itâs gone. He flashes his cocky little grin instead. âI donât deserve you,â he says, and then he slaps me on the ass.
I jerk, holding in my annoyance as we let go of each other. No, you donât. But youâre cute, and you give good massages.
We finish unloading the car and make several trips back and forth, carrying everything into the house. I drop off the few groceries I bought earlier into the kitchen and then carry one last box through the living room, and up the stairs to our room, first door on the left.
I inhale a deep breath through my nose as I round the doorway into our new bedroom, unable to hide my smile at the smell of fresh paint. From the looks of the house weâre moving into, Coleâs father is renovating. Although it seems like the bulk of the major work is done. There were gleaming hardwood floors downstairs, matching crown molding in every room, granite countertops in the kitchen with all new-looking chrome appliances, and the black and glass cabinetry kind of made my heart flutter a little. I had never lived in a place even remotely this nice. For a construction worker, Pike Lawson wasnât a bad designer.
Itâs definitely a nice house. A really nice place, in fact. Not that itâs a mansionâjust a simple, two-story craftsman with a small, walk-up porch leading to the front doorâbut itâs redone, beautiful, well-kept, and the front and back yards are green.
I set the box down and walk to the window, peeking between the blinds. An actual yard. Coleâs momâs living situation wasnât always great, so itâs nice to know he has a clean, safe neighborhood here whenever he needs. I wonder why he always made it seem like he needed someone to take care of him when he had this anytime he wanted. What is up with him and Pike Lawson?
Someday Iâm going to have a place like this, too. My father, unfortunately, will die in that trailer I grew up in.
Cole walks in, swinging a couple suitcases onto the bed, and immediately leaves again, digging out his phone on his way out.
âDo you think your dad will mind if I use the kitchen?â I call, following him out of the room. âI got stuff to make burgers.â
He keeps walking, but I hear his breathy laugh. âI canât imagine any guy, even my dad, is going to say a woman canât use his kitchen to make him a meal, babe.â
Yeah, right. I shoot a look at his back as he takes a right into the living room and heads outside. I keep going straight, into the kitchen.
I used to like doing things for Cole. Being there for him better than my mother was for my father. Keeping a clean houseâor apartmentâand seeing him smile when I made his life a little bit easier or made sure he had what he needed. Itâs gotten one-sided over the past few months, though.
His father is doing a lot for us, though, and cooking a few nights a week is part of the arrangement, so I have no problem keeping my end of the deal. Well, our end of the deal, but Cole isnât going to cook, so Iâll leave the yard work to him, which his father also stipulated was his responsibility to keep up.
Pike Lawson. Iâve had to make an effort to not think about the theater the other night. Itâs still hard to wrap my head around the randomness of the whole situation.
I keep thinking about the matchstick in the donut, and the pep talk he gave me about going after what I want. Part of me, though, feels like he was saying those things to himself, too. Experience and maybe a little disappointment laced his tone, and I want to know more about him. Like what he was like as a young father.
And so I thought he was cute. So what? I think Chris Hemsworth is cute. And Ryan Gosling, Tom Hardy, Henry Cavill, Jason Momoa, the Winchester brothers⦠Itâs not like I had sexual thoughts, for crying out loud. It doesnât have to be awkward.
It canât be. Iâm with his son.
Walking over to one of the chairs at the kitchen table, I dig my phone out of my bag and start my app, Jessieâs Girl immediately playing where it left off after my run this morning. I do a scan of the kitchen, as well as a quick peek back into the living room, making sure none of our things are laying around. I donât want his dad inconvenienced any more than he already is.
I walk to the fridge, running my hand over the island countertop as I pass by. While the other counters are a tan granite with accents of black, the island top is made of butcher block. The smooth wood is warm under my fingertips, and I donât feel any grooves from carving. The whole kitchen looks recently redone, so maybe he hasnât used the cutting board much. Or maybe he isnât a big cook.
A practical, bronze metal light fixture hangs over the island, and I do a little twirl before reaching the refrigerator, laughing under my breath. Itâs nice to be able to move without bumping into something. The only thing this kitchen needs that would make me go from an impressed nod to fanning myself in heat would be some backsplash. Backsplash is hot.
Reaching into the refrigerator, I pull out the ground beef, butter, and mozzarella, kicking the door closed with my foot as I turn around and set everything on the island. I pick up the two onions I left on the counter before and bob my head to the music, sliding and swaying, as I grab a butcher knife from the block and start chopping both into the thin slices.
The music in my ears builds, the hair on my arms rises, and I feel a burst of energy in my legs, because I want to dance, but I wonât let myself. I hope Pike Lawson is okay with 80âs music in his house from time to time. He didnât say he didnât like it in the theater, but he didnât also bank on us living with him.
I stick to lip syncing and head banging while I form five large patties in my hands and start to add them to a clean pan, already heated and layered with melted butter.
My hips are rolling side to side when I feel a tickle making its way around my waist. I jump, my heart leaping into my chest as a gasp lodges in my throat.
Spinning around, I see my sister behind me. âCam!â I whine.
âGotcha,â she teases, grinning ear to ear and jabbing me in the ribs again.
I pause the music on my phone. âHowâd you get in? I didnât hear the bell.â
She walks back around the island and sits at a stool, resting her elbows down and picking up an onion ring. âI passed Cole outside,â she explains. âHe told me to just come in.â
I arch my neck, peering out of the window and seeing him and a couple of his friends circle my grandmaâs old VW that Coleâs dad paid to have towed here since it doesnât run right now. I couldnât leave it at the apartment, and Cole looks like heâs finally making good on his promise to fix it, so I can have a car.
The sizzle of the meat frying in the pan hits my ears, and I turn around, flipping the burgers. A speckle of grease hits my forearm, and I wince at the sting.
I know Camâs here to check up on me. Old habits and that.
My sister is only four years older, but she was the mom our mom didnât stick around to be. I stayed in that trailer park until I graduated high school, but Cam left when she was sixteen and has been on her own ever since. Just her and her son.
I glanced at the clock, seeing it was just after five. My nephew must be with the sitter by now, and she must be on her way to work.
âSo, whereâs the father?â she asks me.
âStill at work, I suppose.â
Heâll be home soon, though. I transfer the burgers from the pan to the plate and take out the buns, opening up the package.
âIs he nice?â she finally asks, sounding hesitant.
I have my back turned to her, so she canât see my annoyance. My sister is a woman who doesnât mince words. The fact that sheâs guarding her tone says sheâs probably having thoughts I donât want to hear. Like why the hell am I not just taking the higher-paying job her boss offered me last fall, so I can stay in my apartment?
âHe seems nice.â I nod, casting her a glance. âKind of quiet, I think.â
âYouâre quiet.â
I shoot her a smirk, correcting her, âIâm serious. Thereâs a difference.â
She snickers and sits up straight, pulling down the hem of her white tank top, the red, lace bra underneath very well visible. âSomeone had to be serious in our house, I guess.â
âIn our houseâ growing up, she means.
She flips her brown hair behind her shoulder, and I see the long, silver earrings she wears that matches her glittery make-up, smoky eyes, and shiny lips.
âHowâs Killian?â I ask, remembering my nephew.
âA brat, as usual,â she says. But then stops like she remembers something. âNo, wait. Today he told me that he tells his friends Iâm his big sister when I come to get him from daycare.â She scoffs. âThe little shit is embarrassed by me. But still, I was like âWhoa, people actually believe that?ââ And then she flips her hair again, putting on a show. âI mean, I still look good, donât I?â
âYouâre only twenty-three.â I top the burger with shredded mozzarella, add another patty, and top that, as well. âOf course, you do.â
âMmm-hmm.â She snaps her fingers. âGotta make that money while I can.â
I meet her eyes, and itâs only for a moment, but itâs long enough to see the falter in her humor. The way her bemused smile looks like an apology and how she blinks, filling the silence as her awkward words hang in the air.
And how she pulls the hem of her top down to cover as much of her stomach as she can in the presence of her little sister.
My sister hates what she does for a living, but she likes the money more.
She finally turns her attention back to me, her tone sounding almost accusing. âSo, what are you doing, by the way?â
âMaking dinner.â
She shakes her head, rolling her eyes. âSo not only do you not cut loose the male youâre with, but now youâre waiting hand and foot on another one?â
I place a couple onion rings on the first double cheeseburger and top it with a bun. âI am not.â
âYes, you are.â
I glare at her. âWeâre staying hereâin this fabulous neighborhood, mind youârent-free. The least I can do is make sure we keep our end of the bargain. We clean up and share some of the cooking duties. Thatâs all.â
Her right eyebrow arches sternly, and she crosses her arms over her chest, not buying it. Oh, for crying out loud. I actually think weâre getting the better end of this bargain than Pike Lawson, after all. Central air, cable and Wi-Fi, a walk-in closetâ¦
I reach over the counter and pull the blinds up, barking to get her off my back, âHe has a pool, Cam! I mean, come on.â
Her eyes go wide. âNo shit?â
She pops out of her chair and scurries over, peering into the backyard. The pool is perfect. Shaped like an hourglass, the multi-colored tiles on the deck are Mediterranean-style, and it has a walk-in entry with a mosaic floor. Coleâs dad must be still working on it because thereâs a display on the far end of the pool with flowerless flower beds and spouts for mini waterfalls that arenât yet running. Thereâs a table and chairs placed haphazardly around the perimeter, and the rest of the grassy backyard has various lawn furniture not yet set up in any discernable way. A table umbrella lays to the right, next to the hose, and a barbeque grill sits covered with a tarp to the left.
My sister nods approvingly. âThis is nice. You were always meant to live in a house like this.â
âWho isnât?â I shoot back. Everyone should be so lucky.
Although it still feels wrong being here. I care a lot about Cole, though, and Iâd rather be with him than at my dadâs.
I finish up the burgers, while she turns around, gripping the counter at her sides and stares at me. âYou sure all he wants is a little cleaning and cooking?â she presses. âMen, no matter the age, are all the same. I should know.â
Yeah, you can shut up now. I can take care of myself. If high school boyfriends and working in a bar havenât taught me that by nowâ¦
But she speaks up again, moving into my space and stopping me. âJust listen to me for a second.â Her tone turns firm. âItâs a nice house, a safe neighborhood, and yes, you can save up a little money. But you donât have to stay here.â
âItâs not Dad and Corinneâs, so thereâs that,â I argue back. âAnd I canât stay with you. I appreciate the offer, but I canât be on the couch in everyoneâs way and be able to study with a four-year-old trying to be a kid in his own house.â
I have a summer class on Thursdays, so I need some space to work.
âThatâs not what I meant,â she quickly retorts. âYou couldâve stayed in that apartment. You couldâve afforded it.â
I open my mouth but shut it again, turning around to slip the burgers into the oven for a few minutes.
Not this again. When is she going to give it up?
âI canât, okay?â I tell her. âI donât want to. I like my job, and I donât to work where you work.â
âOf course, you donât.â She gives me a bored look. âItâs beneath you, right?â
âThatâs not what I said.â
I donât think less of my sister because of her job. She feeds and clothes her kid. She swallowed her pride and did what she had to do, and I love her for it. Butâand I would never say this to her faceâitâs not a career she wouldâve picked for herself if sheâd had other choices.
And Iâm not out of choices yet.
Cam has been dancing at The Hook since she was eighteen. At first, it was just a temporary job to get through her boyfriend leaving her and to support their son. But juggling college and her child became too much, and eventually, she quit school. It was the plan to get back on track once Killian started kindergarten, but thatâll be soon, and I donât think she has immediate plans to quit anytime soon. Sheâs gotten used to the money.
And nearly a year ago, her boss offered me a job bartending there, and sheâs been on my ass to take it ever since. I could make more than enough to support myself, after all, and maybe not have to take out so many student loans, either. A few years and thatâs it, sheâd said. Iâd be out.
But I know bartending is just the job her boss gets girls to take while he works them over to get them to start dancing on stage.
And Iâm not doing that. Iâm not watching my sister do that every night, either.
My body is private. Itâs personal to me and whom I want to show it to. Iâll stay at Grounders, thank you.
âIâm fine where I am,â I tell her. âI got this.â
She sighs. âAlright,â she says, giving up for now. âJust be prepared if this doesnât work out, okay?â
This, meaning Cole and me living in his fatherâs house.
I move around her to pull some lemonade out of the fridge and suddenly hear the low rumble of an engine growing closer. I stop, peering toward the window, and see the corner of a black truck pull into the driveway. The same â71 Chevy Cheyenne I rode in after the movie the other night to get Cole at the police station.
My heart thumps in my chest, but I ignore it and quickly close the fridge.
âHis fatherâs home,â I tell her, grabbing her purse on the counter and shoving it at her. âYou need to go.â
âWhy?â
âBecause this isnât my house,â I bite out, pushing her toward the laundry room and the back door. âAt least let me wait a week before I impose on his space with all my friends.â
âIâm your sister.â
I hear a car door slam.
I keep pushing her out toward the back, but sheâs digging in her heels. âAnd you better keep me posted,â she says. âIâm not letting you let some beer-bellied, middle-aged pervert who was only too happy to let a hot pair of teenage thighs move into his house start demanding a little extra from his new tenant.â
âShut up.â But I canât help laughing a little.
Yeah, heâs not beer-bellied, middle-aged, or a pervert. I donât think, anyway.
She turns around, jabbing me in the stomach playfully and lowering her voice to a deep, husky tone. âCome on, honey.â She squirms up to me, trying to wrap her arms around me seductively. âTime to work off your rent, baby.â
âShut up!â I whisper-yell, laughing and trying to nudge her out of the kitchen. âGod, youâre embarrassing. Get out!â
âDonât be scared,â she continues, pretending sheâs some creepy old guy as she slobbers up her lips and tries to get a kiss from me. âLittle girls take care of their daddies.â
And she mock thrusts into me, jutting out what beer belly she can muster with her twenty-two-inch waist.
âStop it!â I plead, flaming with embarrassment.
She paws me up and down my hips, smiling as I try to shove her out of the kitchen.
But then she stops suddenly, her face falling and her eyes focused on somethingâor someoneâbehind me.
I close my eyes for a moment. Great.
Turning around, I see Coleâs father standing in the entryway between the living room and the kitchen, paused and staring at us. Heat rises up my neck at the sight of him again.
I hear my sister suck in a breath, and I move away from her, clearing my throat. I donât think he heard anything. At least, I hope not.
His eyes dart between us and finally come to rest on me. His short hair is just a little messy, and I can see the sweat from his workday still dampening the sides, and the five-oâclock shadow coming in across his jaw. Black marks scuff his forearms, and the tendons in his tanned hands flex as he grips his tool belt and lunch container.
He inhales a deep breath and moves forward, setting his things on the island. âAll moved in?â he asks me, running a hand through his hair.
I nod. âYeah,â I blurt out. âI mean, yes.â
My heart is doing that thing again where it feels like itâs riding on ocean waves inside my chest, and I canât remember what Iâm supposed to be doing. So I just nod again, blinking until my sister comes into view at my side and I finally remember whatâs going on.
âPike. Mr. Lawson,â I correct myself, âSorry. This is my sister, Cam.â I gesture to her. âAnd she was just leaving.â
He glances over at her. âHi.â
And then to my surprise, his gaze moves back to me for a moment before he sees the mail on the counter and begins flipping through it like weâre not even here.
I blink, slightly confused.
Camâs a carnival ride. She might be younger than him, but sheâs certainly a woman, and most men let their eyes linger on her, her long legs, and the perky and expensive handfuls she has under that tank top. He doesnât.
âYeah, nice to meet you,â she says back. âThanks for taking her in.â
He spares us a quick glance and half-smile before taking all the envelopes and stuffing them in a mail holder.
Cam starts to walk out of the kitchen, and I follow her as she enters the laundry room.
Once sheâs out of his line-of-sight, she spins around, mouthing to me âOh, my Godâ with a mischievous gleam in her wide eyes.
I clench my jaw, jerking my chin to keep her moving. Sheâs going to be over here every other day flirting with him now.
I hear Pike behind me, opening one of the ovens, and I turn around.
âI was making dinner,â I tell him. âFor the three of us. Is that okay?â
He closes the oven, and I see a hint of relief on his face. âYeah, thatâs great, actually.â He sighs. âThank you. Iâm starving.â
âItâll just be fifteen more minutes.â
He reaches into the refrigerator and pulls out a Corona, sticking the cap under an opener nailed under the island and pulls the top off, the cap dropping into the trash. âEnough time for a shower,â he replies, glancing down at us. âExcuse me.â
And then he walks out of the kitchen, the bottle hanging from his fingers as he clears the entryway by only half a foot. I pause, it hitting me how tall he is again. This is a good size house, too, but it will be impossible to not notice him in a room.
âNow I get it,â my sister whispers a taunt in my ear. âAnd here I was, worried youâd be suffering unwanted advances from a sweaty, old, fat fart.â
âShut up.â I close my eyes in exasperation.
I hear the back door open and humor laces her voice as she teases, âYou take care of your men now.â
I whirl around to slam the door closed in her face, but she squeals, pulling it shut before I have a chance.
âOh, I donât like onions.â
I stop at Pikeâs words and stare down at the barbeque sauce drizzled all over my onion ring-stacked masterpieces. Theyâre an Instagram post just waiting to happen. If I take off the beautiful, golden onions itâll just be a Pinterest fail.
âTry a bite?â I venture, with a timid smile. âYouâll like this. I promise.â
In my experience, men will eat whatâs in front of them.
He seems to think about it for a moment and then closes the fridge and meets my gaze. His expression softens. âOkay.â
He probably feels like he owes me a bite, since I made dinner, so Iâll take it. Topping the burger, I hand him the plate, and he carries it over to a stool, taking a bite before he even sits down. I spare a glance over my shoulder. His jaw stops moving, and he blinks a few times, the muscles in his cheeks flexing. And then I hear a groan.
I turn back around to the stove so he canât see my smile.
âThatâs good, actually,â he says. âReally good.â
I just nod, but I feel a small pinch of pride.
âWhen you eat cheap growing up,â I tell him, âyou find your own ways of adding a little gourmet to it.â
He doesnât say anything for a few seconds but follows with a quiet, âYeah.â
Iâm not sure if that means heâs just listening attentively or agreeing with me. If heâs found out my last name, he must know who my father is. Everyone in town knows Chip Hadley, so he would have an idea of how we lived.
I donât know much about Coleâs family, though, or if theyâve always lived in this town. Pike Lawson isnât wealthy, but heâs certainly not poor by the looks of his house.
âItâs really good. I mean it,â he says again.
âThanks.â I turn around and place a plate on the island perpendicular to his seat for Cole and my own at the stool next to that one.
We fall silent, and I wonder if he feels weird, too. We talked so easily the other night when we didnât know who the other one was, but itâs changed now.
I hear movement from the living room and glance around to see Cole coming into the kitchen. I smile. He has grease all over his shirt already and a streak under his lip. He can misbehave like itâs his job, but he can also flaunt some boyish charm like nobodyâs business.
He grabs the hamburger off his plate in one hand and tucks some dirty, rusted car part under his arm, tipping his chin at me. âHey, babe. Weâre working on your VW. You donât mind if I eat outside, do you?â
I stare at him.
Is he serious? I shoot my eyes between him and his father. âYes,â I reply quietly, trying to say more with my eyes. I donât want to eat alone with his dad.
âCome on.â Cole cocks his head, trying to work me with his playful expression. âI canât just leave them out there. You could come and sit outside with us.â
Gee, thanks. I purse my lips and turn back to the refrigerator, yanking out the pitcher of lemonade. Itâs rude to just leave. His fatherâs not our meal ticket. I should make some effort to get to know him.
But before I can tell Cole to just go and eat outside, his father speaks up. âWhy donât you sit down for ten minutes? I havenât seen you in a while.â
Relief hits me, and Iâm thankful for the backup. I finally hear Cole release a breath and the legs of one of the island stools scrape across the tile as he takes a seat in front of his plate.
I make sure the oven is off, grab my drink, and follow Coleâs father as he sits down, leaving the seat between him and Cole empty. I take it, reaching over the island and pulling my plate to me.
âSo, howâs work?â Mr. Lawson asks, and I assume heâs talking to Cole.
Coleâs right hand finds my thigh as he uses his left to lift the burger to his mouth, and I glance at his father, seeing his eyes downcast and looking at Coleâs hand on me. His jaw flexes as he looks back up.
âItâs work.â Cole shrugs. âItâs a lot easier now that the weather has warmed up, though.â
Coleâs been doing road construction since we moved in together about nine months ago. Heâs gone through a lot of jobs since Iâve known him, but this one has lasted.
âThinking any more about college?â his dad probes.
But Cole just scoffs. âIt took everything I had to finish high school. You know that.â
I raise the lemonade to my lips and take a sip, my tight stomach and not wanting food at the moment. Coleâs father chews and sets his burger down, lifting his bottle next.
âTime moves a lot faster than you think it will,â he replies quietly, almost to himself. âI almost joined the Navy when I found outâ¦â But he trails off, finishing instead, âwhen I was eighteen.â
But I think I know what he was going to say. When I found out I was going to be a dad. Pike Lawson doesnât look old enough to be the father of a grown son, so he had to have been pretty young when Cole was born. No more than eighteen or nineteen himself. Which would put him at thirty-eight? Give or take?
âI just couldnât wrap my head around the fact that I was giving up seven years of my life,â he goes on. âBut seven years came and went pretty fast. Securing a good future takes an investment and a commitment, Cole, but itâs worth it.â
âWas it for you?â his son shoots back, tearing off a bite of burger, his hand lightly squeezing the inside of my thigh. Itâs a subtle gesture I actually love despite the building tension in the room. Itâs his way of letting me know he might be angry, but heâs not angry with me, and he hates that Iâm probably uncomfortable right now.
Coleâs father takes a drink from his bottle and calmly sets it back down, his tone now harder. âWell, Iâve had the money to bail you out of jail,â he points out. âLast time. And the time before that.â
Coleâs hand tightens around my thigh, and my neck is so hot all of a sudden that I wish I had a hair tie. A thousand questions whirl around my head. Why donât they get along? What happened? Coleâs dad seems okay, from what little I know about him, but Cole has erected a wall between them, and his dad has almost as short of a fuse as his son.
Cheeseburger in hand, Cole shoves his plate away from him and pushes his chair back, standing up. âIâm eating outside,â he says, releasing my leg. âCome join us if you want, babe. And leave the dishes. Iâll do them in a bit.â
I open my mouth to speak but stop myself, clenching my teeth instead. Well, this is going to be fun.
Cole turns and walks out of the room, and moments later I hear the front door slam shut. Muffled voices carry in from outside, and a horn honks down the street, but itâs suddenly so quiet in the kitchen that I stop breathing. Hopefully Pike Lawson will forget Iâm here.
How the hell am I supposed to live here? I canât take sides if theyâre going to do this.
But Pike speaks up, softening his voice. âItâs okay,â he says, and I see him turn his head toward me out of the corner of my eye. âYou can join him if you want.â
I turn my head, meet his eyes, and fix him with a close-lipped smile as I shrug. âItâs hot out,â I tell him.
Iâm already burning up with the tension in here.
Besides, Coleâs friends arenât my friends, and outside wonât be any better.
âIâm sorry about that,â he says, picking up his burger again. âIt wonât happen a lot. Coleâs good about avoiding anywhere I am.â
I nod, not knowing what else to say. I have a gut feeling I wonât be here long anyway. I already feel like Iâm on a tightrope.
I force myself to eat, because this wonât taste this good as leftovers tomorrow. Music drifts in from outside, the rumble of a lawnmower sparks to life in the distance, and the scent of grass hits the back of my throat as it wafts through the open windows, the simple tan curtains of Pikeâs house billowing in the breeze coming in. Chills spread down my arms.
Summer.
A phone rings, and I see Pike reach over and grab his cell off the counter. âHey,â he says.
A manâs voice grumbles on the other end, but I canât hear what heâs saying.
Pike gets up, carrying his plate to the sink with one hand and holding the phone with the other, and I steal glances while heâs distracted. Camâs teasing about him keeps coming back to me, warming my cheeks, but itâs not like that.
Pikeâs kind of a mystery.
I saw pictures of Cole in the living roomâas a baby and as a kidâbut other than that, the house doesnât have a lot of his father in it. I know heâs a single guy, but thereâs no coffee table books displaying his interests, no souvenirs from vacations, no pets, no art, no knickknacks, no magazines, no paraphernalia indicating his hobbies like sports, gaming, or musicâ¦. Itâs a beautiful home, but itâs like a showcase house where a family doesnât really live.
âNo, I need another digger and at least a hundred more bags of cement,â he tells the guy, tucking the phone between his shoulder and ear and pulling his sleeves up more as he turns on the water.
I smile to myself. Heâs doing the dishes. Without being asked? I heave a sigh and rise from my seat. I guess he normally does live alone, after all. Who else would do them?
He chuckles at something the guy says and shakes his head as I scrape off my plate into the garbage.
âTell that idiot I know heâs not sick,â he says into the phone, âand if he doesnât get off whomever heâs on by morning, Iâll come and get him myself. I want to stay ahead of schedule.â
I come up beside him and quietly set my dishes down on the counter before putting the lemonade and condiments back in the fridge.
âYeah, yeahâ¦â I hear him as he rinses off plates and puts them in the dishwasher. âOkay, Iâll see you in the morning.â
He hangs up and puts the phone down, and I cast another quick glance at him. âWork?â I inquire.
He nods, swishing water in a glass and dumping it out. âAlways. Weâre putting up an office building off twenty-two right before you reach the state park.â He looks at me. âNo matter how much you plan and budget, there are always surprises that try to throw you off track, you know?â
Highway 22. Same road I take to get out to classes at Doral. I mustâve passed his worksite lots of times.
âNothing ever goes according to plan,â I muse. âEven at my age, I know that by now.â
He laughs, the corners of his mouth turning up in a grin as he looks over at me. âExactly.â
I suddenly falter, déjà vu hitting me. For a moment, I see the guy in the theater again.
I blink, trying to look away. His hazel eyes look greener under the light fixture hanging overhead, his hair has dried from his shower, and all of a sudden he looks more like Coleâs older brother than his dad. I tear my eyes away from his smile, just catching a glimpse of the cords in his arm that are flexing as he works in the sink.
I snatch up my phone off the counter and turn to leave, but then remember something.
âMay I have your phone number?â I twist back around and ask. âLike in case thereâs a problem here or I lose my key or something?â
He looks at me over his shoulder, his hands still in the water. âOh, right.â He shuts off the faucet and grabs a towel, drying himself. âGood idea. Here.â
He grabs his phone and unlocks the screen, handing it to me. âPut yours in mine, too, then.â
I give him my phone and take his, entering in my first name and my cell number. Iâm glad I remembered, actually. Anything could go wrong with the house. The basement could flood, packages could be delivered that arenât mine, I might not be able to handle dinner on one of Coleâs and my nights and need to alert himâ¦. This isnât my place where I get to make all the decisions anymore.
I give his back, and he hands me mine, but music starts playing from mine, and he does a double-take at my screen. My music app mustâve been up and he accidentally hit something.
Shit.
George Michaelâs Father Figure starts playing, and his eyebrows shoot up as the suggestive chorus starts.
My mouth goes dry, the lyrics registering.
I snatch the phone back and turn it off.
He breathes out a laugh.
Awesome.
Then he straightens, clearing his throat. â80s music, huh?â
I run my fingers through my hair, sliding the phone into my back pocket. âYeah, I wasnât kidding.â
After a moment, I look back up and see him staring at me, the hint of a smile in his eyes.
His gaze flashes to the side, and he bends over, picking up one of the home and garden magazines I didnât realize had dropped from my bag at the kitchen table.
âAnd itâs Pike,â he says, handing me the magazine. âNot Mr. Lawson, okay?â
Heâs standing so close, and my stomach flips, unable to look at him.
I take the magazine and nod, unable to meet his eyes.
He turns back to his task, and I turn to walk away but stop and look back at him.
âYou donât have to do that, you know?â I tell him, referring to the dishes. âCole said he would.â
I see his body shake with a laugh, and then he bends down to drop some silverware into the dishwasher before glancing over at me. âI was nineteen once, too,â he replies. ââIn a bitâ means eventually, and eventually doesnât mean tonight.â
I snort, my shoulders easing a little. True.
I donât know how many times I woke up the next morning to a sink full of dishes. Of course, it wouldnât make me happier with Cole if his father was carrying his weight with the chores, but I brush it off as ânot my problemâ.
As long as I donât have to do it.
âThank you,â I say, quickly darting over to the fridge for a bottle of water to take with me.
But then a thought occurs to me.
âDo you have any other kids?â I ask. I guess I need to know if there will be other people coming in or out of the house.
But when I look over I see his jaw tense and his brow furrowed, looking a little too serious.
âI think Cole would tell you if he had siblings, wouldnât he?â
Against my will, my spine instantly straightens. His tone is chastising. Of course, Cole would tell me if he had siblings. Iâve known him for long enough.
âRight,â I reply in a rush, shaking my head like I was in a fog and that was why Iâd asked such a dumb question.
âBesides Iâve never been married,â he adds, his Adamâs apple moving up and down. âHaving multiple kids from multiple women wasnât a mistake I wanted to keep making.â
I remain still, watching him and kind of feeling bad. Cole was completely unplanned and, even to a small degree, unwanted by his teenage parents. Some of the mystery of their poor relationship starts to come into focus.
But I also appreciate his pragmatism. It didnât take a young Pike Lawson long to learn that making babies with just anyone wasnât what was right for him. That was a consequence I never wanted to experience, not even once.
He seems to realize what heâd said and how it probably sounded, because he stops and looks over at me, thinning his eyes in an apology. âI didnât mean it⦠like that. Iââ
âI know what you meant. Itâs okay.â
I jerk my thumb behind me and back away. âIâm going to go study. Iâm taking a few credits this summer, soâ¦ânight.â
He turns back, loading the dishwasher with soap and starting the machine.
âThank you again for letting us stay here,â I say.
He glances at me. âThank you for dinner.â
And before I leave, I step over to the table where I left a scented candle burning. I shouldâve asked him about that. He might not like frilly scents in his house.
Leaning over the table, I close my eyes, take in a breath, and make my usual wish Let tomorrow be better than today. And I blow, almost instantly smelling the pungent stream of smoke curling into the air from the extinguished wick.
Itâs always the same wish. Every candle. Every time. I want a life I never want to take a vacation from. Thatâs my goal.
Except for the match I blew out at the theater. I made a different wish that night.
When I open my eyes, I see Pike watching me. He quickly straightens and turns away.
And as I leave the kitchen and head toward the stairs in the living room, I drop my magazine on the end table next to the couch.
Now someone lives here.