9| Hotels

Chapter Nine

Alice

"Please be positive. God, please be positive," I mumble.

"Alice, are you okay in there?" Alessio asks on the other side. Shit, Alessio. I thought you left already.

"Um...yeah," I begin to throw away the now empty pregnancy box. "It's just that Mexican food didn't exactly agree with my stomach, is all. You can head out to work now. You've been gone for like eight weeks now. I bet everyone misses you like crazy."

Eight weeks, eight long weeks of not letting him leave the bed. Eight weeks of screwing so much that as soon as I peed on this stick it should have told me I was pregnant.

Mr. Pinkline, please turn pink for me. God, please turn pink. "Yeah, but can I get a kiss before I go?"

"Unless you wanna be hit with a stink bomb. I suggest you go now, Les," I say without a second thought. "And besides, I think we've kissed more than a lifetime as of late." How long have I been waiting? Thirty? Forty seconds? Why can't there be an instant results test?

"Yeah. Um...Alice," he starts. "I'm glad that you're feeling better. And I'm glad I got you back-that I got us back." Oh, we are gonna be back, Alessio. We're gonna go back to when we were the happiest as soon as this pregnacy test shows me what I want to see.

"Me too, Alessio. Me too," I repeat. "I'll see you after work, okay?"

"Okay, I love you, Alice."

"I love you too, Alessio." I hear the door shut, and I stare back down at the pregnancy test. For the last eight weeks, I haven't let Alessio leave our bed. I've taken him too many times to count, without a condom, of course, or birth control, for that matter. We haven't used condoms since the first few times we were together, and after one time without one, we never returned.

This was in my favor, to begin with.

I want to be pregnant again. I want our happy ending back.

He doesn't know, of course, and how could I tell him. How could I even out and ask him when I know there's a possibility of him denying me another chance. He would say something like, we're not ready, but we were ready before, and we will be ready now. If I'm pregnant, he'll be shocked, but he'll be happy soon enough. He's gonna be twice as determined for my pregnancy to go smoothly and me as well.

I won't even leave the bed if I don't have to, and I'll even hire an in-house doctor and nurse to ensure our child is okay. Everything is gonna be perfect. I need this pregnancy test to be positive, and then I will go to the gynecologist and get bloodwork to really confirm. But the first step is the test.

I need to pass this test.

My alarm goes off, and in an instant, I check it.

"Fuck!" I scream. "Fuck! Fuck!" I yell again. I throw the pregnancy test across the room. Dammit! Negative. Damnit! I look at the other boxes filled to the brim with pregnancy sticks. Maybe it's a false negative-yeah, that's it. There's no way that after having sex every day for eight weeks, I won't be pregnant.

It only took me missing a few birth control pills for me to get pregnant before. Why? I should be pregnant. It doesn't make any sense. I need to see my gyno or get Alessio's sperm count checked, but I'm still under depressed house arrest. Mom will never let me drive my car, and if she did, someone would be following me.

Fuck!

I grab the four other pregnancy tests and pee on them.

Negative

Negative

Negative

Fucking negative

I feel my tears begin to form, and I cradle my empty stomach. I just wanted one thing-a child. Is that too much to ask for. Am I not allowed to be happy? What did I do to deserve this? I've been a good person. I've given as much as I could to people in need without asking for anything in return. I deserve another chance to be a mom.

"Hey Alice, I forgot something-"

Alessio stands in the doorway of the bathroom. His eyes wander to the pregnancy tests on the counter, then to the tears that coat my face. Shit, "Alessio, this isn't what."

He ignores me, and I see his jaw locks. He picks up the series of pregnancy tests and looks at them one by one. There's only one pink line there indicating the truth that I failed. "Alice, please tell me what I'm thinking is wrong, and you wouldn't be as fucked up as to do something like this," almost too quietly than I would like.

He's mad. He's seething with rage, "Alesso-"

He grips the pregnancy test and throws it to the ground. The small plastic device breaks on impact. "Tell me you weren't trying to get pregnant for the last eight weeks!" I open my mouth and then close it almost immediately. He's mad at me. He's so goddamn mad at me. "Alice, answer me!"

"Alessio, I- I just," and I burst into tears. "I just wanted another chance," I cry. "I want another chance to be a mom. I want to be a mother."

"And what about what I want, Alice!" He yells. "Why would you think I would ever want a child right now, right after our daughter passed away. What would even possess you to think that?"

"You said you wanted a child!"

"I did, and I had one! But she died! And forcing yourself to have another is not going to replace how I feel about my daughter Alice. She can't be replaced. Annabella... Annabella won't be replaced, and my sadness won't just go away if we have another kid Alice."

"You're wrong," I mutter. I look down at the array of pregnancy tests.

"What?"

"You're wrong. I know for a fact if we have another kid, then I will be happy again. The pain of losing her will go away, and I will finally have everything I want," I say.

It's the truth. It's the only way I will be happy again is if I have a baby. I need to have a baby. I need to see my child in a crib and raise them just like Alessio, and I talked about.

He nods his head, "Alice, if that's what you think...then I don't want anything to do with it," he says before walking out the bathroom. I chase after him.

"Alessio, please! I promise if we do this, we will be okay!" He stops and looks me dead in the eyes.

"No."

He turns his back and rushes down the stairs. I grip my hand so tightly that I'm sure I've dug into my skin. "Alessio, if you don't want to do this with me. Then... I'll get pregnant some other way." I place a hand on my empty stomach. Alessio turns his attention almost immediately. He knows I mean this with every fiber in my being. I will be pregnant even if it isn't Alessio's child.

I will do anything to have another child. Even if it means I can't be with you, Alessio. I'm so madly in love with you, Alessio, but this is too important to me. I tremble under his gaze. Tears still coat my face as I look down at his face. He looks hurt, as if I just shot him in the chest with my words alone. He takes two steps up the stairs and stops. His jaw clenches, and he turns away and rushes out the door without sparing me another glance.

And then I fall. I fall to my knees, and I can't breathe. I run a hand through my hair and clench my stomach at the realization as to what just happened.

Alessio doesn't want another child.

~

I aimlessly walk through the city of New York. I cannot hear the bustling people or the shouts coming from God knows where. All I can see is Alessio's face as he walked out the door. Why doesn't he want another child? Doesn't he know it would be perfect-that we would be perfect if we tried again.

I feel a small hand touch my pocket and turn to a young girl who is maybe a foot shorter than me. Her eyes widen as we make eye contact, and she bolts with my wallet in hand. "Hey!" I shout. I can care less about the money, but Annabella's picture is in there. If I lose that then, I would really break. I rush through the crowds of people, and I spot her in her all-black attire and beanie. "Get back here!" I grasp her shoulder, and she throws a punch at me. I catch her wrist and squeeze.

"Ouch! Fuck! Let me go! Why the hell are you so strong?"

I get a look at the young girl. She can't be more than thirteen, hell twelve? Why is she pickpocketing? "Give me my wallet back."

"Huh? What wallet?"

"Don't play dumb. I know you went into my pocket and stole my wallet." Who is this kid?

"Get off of me, you old bitch. If you don't let me go. I will scream and-"

"Oh sure, scream, and then someone will call the police, and I can tell them how you have my wallet in your pocket. And they can stuff you in some cell for the night." Her eyes widen, and she doesn't call my bluff.

I would never call the cops or let them arrest her, for that matter. She digs into her pocket with her free hand and hands me my wallet. "Here, it's probably nothing in there anyways." I let her go, and she begins to rub her arm immediately. "You have one hell of a grip, lady."

"Who are you? What is your name?"

"Why?"

"Because I have a phone, and I will call the police."

"Geez...will you stop with the police threats. My name is Aria. And I would really like it if you let me go."

"So, you can rob some other poor girl, hell no. Where do you go to school?" She stays silent, "answer me."

"I don't go to school, and before you ask, no, I don't have any parents or someone you can call lady. Now, will you let me go?" She doesn't have any parents?

"Are you kidnapped? Do you need any help?"

She lets out a small laugh, "to be kidnapped. You had to belong to someone." I stare long and hard at Aria. How could someone abandon their child and one as beautiful as this? A breeze pushes past us, and I watch Aria shiver. She looks healthy enough, not as if she's skipped a meal, but she's probably never had a homecooked meal in her life. "Now, lady, can you let me go. I'm really sorry for pickpocketing you."

She needs help, and I'm sure I won't be the last person she will pickpocket. "Did you eat Aria?" "

"Huh?"

"Have you eaten today?" She raises an eyebrow.

"No," she says, not holding back her suspicion.

"Come on. We're gonna get you some food." I walk ahead, and she follows close by.

"You're not gonna kill me, right?"

"You rob me and then wonder if I'm a criminal? Besides, don't you know who I am?"

She raises an eyebrow and takes in all my features. "No...sorry. I have no idea."

How did she not? Shit...when the accident happened, she was probably like eight. "Well, my name is Alice Edwards, and I'm gonna treat you to dinner, and you're gonna tell me who you are."

~

Aria is, in fact, twelve, and she has the appetite of a football player after a long day of training. She has eaten an entire steak, shrimp, and a hearty serving of potatoes. All that sits on her plate is asparagus. Even though she puts on this older front-she's still a child. "Excuse me," she says to the waiter. "Can I have this chocolate cake too?"

"Sure thing, after you eat those vegetables," I tell her.

She scowls and holds her stomach. "I'm full."

"Not too full for cake? Eat the vegetables, and then you get cake."

"Should I get the cake, ma'am?" The waiter asks.

"Yes, but bring it after she finishes her vegetables. But bring me a slice now."

She slams her fist on the table. "So, you get to have a piece of cake. You didn't even eat."

"Well, I am an adult. Now eat." Aria picks up her fork and stabs into her asparagus and eats it one by one. "So, are you gonna tell me where you're staying?"

"Well, that question is hard to answer."

"I'm pretty smart."

She takes another bite of her vegetables and then drinks her water. "So, I stay in hotels."

"How? You're twelve."

"Well, it's pretty easy. I tell whatever housekeeper is there that I lost my room key. Which of course they will believe because I am twelve and then I stay in the night or however long in the room. You would be shocked how many times I've gotten away with it."

"And before?"

"Well, I went from home to home until last year. My mom, I didn't know her. And my dad he's a druggie so I stayed with him eating cold pizza or whatever I could get from the neighbor. And one night, and," she takes a deep breath. "He died and I was all alone. And now here I am."

Aria... I get up from the table and I throw my arms around. Aria, God you don't deserve this life. You don't deserve to have seen this much and to struggle like this. "Aria, would you like to stay at my place tonight? I'll buy you whatever for dinner and I can get you some actual clothes other than this hoodie that doesn't even fit."

She crosses her arms. "Sure...but only for a few days."

I give Aria a small smile. "Sure thing and if you want to stay longer you can. I have a lot of room back at my place."

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter.

How cute...can't wait to see Alessio and Aria's meet up

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