28| Meetings

Chapter 28

Alice

I might stab someone today-someone, or better yet a group of women who have never had an orgasm outside of a plastic vibrating device. In our lovely home sits a group of moms eating small sandwiches I made, looking at my husband like he could be their newest reason for a divorce. These women-moms, for a total of fourteen girls who are staring at my husband like he's a fresh piece of meat as he talks about his plans for their daughters to be their soccer coach might be the reason why I finally go to jail.

I see their leering eyes, the way they bite their lips, and their oh-so-necessary-to-wear low-cutting shirts and makeup which I know some of these ladies never have unless they see my husband. I'm not self-conscious of my relationship-quite the opposite. I know Alessio would never cheat on me or even look at another woman if I'm there or not. But watching them throw themselves at him-I want to kill them.

"So," one peeps up, her voice more sultry than usual causing my eyebrow to twitch. "How often would the practice be?"

Or how often can I see you wearing grey workout joggers so I can see your magnificent cock when you move a certain way.

I'm burning those pants as soon as he takes them off.

"Three times a week, for about an hour and a half. I was open to maybe a Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule with games on Sunday with some of the other teams I've found in the state. If that's fine with you all?"

They all smile and nod their head. It's a good schedule, one day on, one day off.

Alessio went over his vision before he asked me to call the neighborhood moms, and I loved the idea. It gave the girls time to practice while still giving them enough free time to enjoy their lives.

But with the fake-ass desperate housewives staring at my husband like some piece of meat, I wanna smash everything and tell them to leave. "Wow, I think that's a phenomenal idea. And also, I suppose you need a team mom-someone to make sure the girls are alright when you can't" She gets up from the couch. Her tank is impossibly low.

Oh no, you don't. In an instant, I get to my husband before she can.

I grab his arm and show off my brightest of smiles in front of them, marking my territory. "Well, actually, I'm going to be the team mom. Alessio already decided I would, you know because I am his wife," I say. She steps back, looks at me, then at Alessio.

"Well, never mind then."

Yeah, back up bitch.

"Great," Alessio says. "Any other questions or concerns, ladies?" Everyone looks to one another, hoping one of them has something to say to prolong them to ogle at my husband. Next time we're bringing anyone who does not like penises. They say nothing and this is their cue to get the hell out.

"Okay, well. I hope you enjoyed the chat," I say as let go of Alessio's arm and gather up the plates. "Alessio or I will email you guys the first practice dates and the games."

"Alice dear, do you need help with cleaning up?"

"No," I smile motioning for the door. They take the hint and gather their things and when the first desperate housewife leaves my abode. I slam the door behind them. I

"What's wrong with you?" Alessio asks when I plop onto the couch next to him.

"You stand in a room where every person in there wants to fuck your spouse and ask me that again." He lets out a deep laugh. "It's not funny. That one mom, the blonde one when no one was looking, kept pulling her shirt down. Then the other one purposefully didn't wear underwear, and then another one gave you those bedroom eyes."

"Alice, you're imagining things."

"No, I was not. You just didn't notice because you were so wrapped up in your presentation, which was great by the way. But, during it, I was scared the moment I left the room someone was going to pounce on you."

"Alice," he murmurs as he kisses my forehead. "You're cute."

"Cute. I won't be so cute when I kill one of those women for looking at you the wrong way. I hate how attractive you are sometimes."

It's true, Alessio is one of if not the most attractive guy I have ever been with. It's so infuriating sometimes when we're walking Charlie, and I see people take a second look at him or people smile a bit wider than necessary when he pays for things. Then, he's like effortlessly cool too, he got the whole bad boy older guy thing going on for him, and he's fit-so fit. When he wears a t-shirt, you just know he has a six-pack, and with the weather breaking into something much warmer, it's no way he can hide it behind coats and sweaters.

I've been jealous quite a lot in my life, but it's even worse when your partner looks like he was sculpted by a group of women who knew the exact equation for the perfect man.

"I wish you were ugly so that no other woman would look at you, and you would be all mine," I pout.

He catches my lips in a kiss. "Alice, I'm sorry that I am...attractive," he says with a humorous tone. "But, I have to say I'm really excited about this soccer coach thing. I think the girls are gonna do really well. And I saw some places where I can get them some new team jerseys and stuff made."

I curl into his body and smile. "I'm glad you're happy, Alessio. How long before you finish at your actual job?"

His body stiffens, and he sighs. "Not soon enough. Which reminds me, I have to make a phone call." He gets up from the couch and walks out into the backyard. I can still see him as he dials whoever's phone number. He taps his foot and says one word before he starts yelling.

He's been like this for a week now. Since our office dinner, he's finished all his paperwork, and the last thing he needs to do is 'take out' someone as he claims to be of utmost importance before he cuts off that side of his life completely.

"Are you an idiot?" He shouts out. He waits moment for the response before he shouts again, "then fucking find him!"

Aria walks through the front door with her overnight bag slung over her shoulder. She's been having sleepovers with some of the neighborhood girls more often, making connections as she would call them before she heads off to high school in a year. I wanted her to start school after this summer to go to the eighth grade but her teacher suggested otherwise. Aria is still having trouble with math. She can get away with other classes but math is a foundation that she still needs to conquer.

"Hey, Aria," I smile.

"Hey," she says, plopping on the couch. She meets my gaze at Alessio who is pacing and looks exasperated only after a few minutes. "Every time he gets on the phone now, he's mad."

"I know. I guess he's having a hard time trying to find this guy."

Aria sighs, "I wish he'll just kill him already." I hold back my stifle. I need to calm down. This has been Aria's life for the last twelve years. I can't react negatively. Reacting negatively will bring on shame, making her hide things from me eventually.

Parenting 101, for traumatized children. Always have an open mind and listen.

"So, how did the meeting go?" Aria asks as she continues to stare with me at Alessio as he paces and yells.

"Fine, you guys should start-up in a few weeks. Which reminds me tomorrow, let's get you some workout gear and soccer equipment."

"Sure, can I bring some of my friends too?"

Friends, we've come a long way. "Yeah, of course. So, how was the sleepover?"

She looks down, bites her lips, and meets my gaze. "It was fine. Um, Alice can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure anything," I assure her.

"Well, you know how we had a sleepover last night? So, the guys came over-Riven and Caleb. And we played spin the bottle." Oh. "I kissed Riven and...Caleb."

My daughter kissed two boys in one night-shit. She blushes and avoids my eyes. "Oh, okay. That's okay. I am upset that there were boys over, but it happens. I'm glad you told me." I can deal with this. At least she isn't having sex. She's way too young for that. Kissing is normal. Kissing is okay.

"Yeah, so here's the thing about it. I liked it...kissing them."

"Yeah, kissing is fun. People tend to enjoy it if both parties consent, of course."

"Yeah, but like I really liked kissing...both of them-equally. And they...I just have a feeling they did too. Like Riven likes me, and I don't, well I didn't like him before the kiss. And Caleb and I are friends, but like when he kissed me...I don't know. I'm really confused. Is this normal?"

I stifle a laugh. My daughter has caught herself in a love triangle. "Yeah, it's normal liking two people at the same time. It comes with being so damn lovable and having such a big heart."

"So like...I'm not a whore?" Aria asks.

"No, baby, you are not a whore. You just like two cute boys and enjoy kissing them. You're human."

"But like what if they want me to choose? Like what if I choose one, and then I'm like I like the other one and break one's heart. What if I ruin our friendship? What if I date one and he likes another girl too, and I get jealous when I, in fact, like another guy too. What if I date one, and he breaks up with me, and the other guy hates me, and I'm out two friends, love and now called a whore."

"Well, Aria. Love is complicated." Alessio comes through the back door, running a hand through his hair.

"Aria, hey. How was the sleepover?"

"Fine," she peeps out before heading up the stairs. "I'm gonna go check on Charlie."

Alessio raises his eyebrow then looks at me, and I only shrug. No need for Alessio to handle our little girl's turbulent romance. His opinion would be to simply put her in an all-girl's school and not involve her in anything involving boys until she's at least thirty.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I need to go to the office for a few hours. I'll probably be home late-I'll call you."

He kisses my lips and leaves muttering on the phone.

I get up from the couch and head for the kitchen. "Aria! What are you feeling for dinner tonight?" I call out taking in the abysmal inventory for our near-empty refrigerator. It seems like feeding the entire neighborhood food really puts a damper on your fridge.

"I don't know? How about steaks?" She shouts from upstairs.

Steaks? She knows that's Alessio's specialty. "Something I can make," I shout back.

"Quesadillas?"

Yeah, that's way more doable. "Better choice! I'm gonna go to the grocery store. I'll be back soon okay?"

"Kay."

I grab my keys from the bowl and head for the store.

~

Man, I hate grocery shopping. I roll the cart through the aisles, making sure I got everything. Aria likes extra spicy with extra cheese, Alessio and I like mild. But like I have to make beef and chicken ones and maybe even a few veggies. I need to go back to the meat aisle.

My phone chimes.

Can you pick me up some pads? I only have three left. - Aria

Man, Aria's flow is really heavy. I just got her a new box a few days ago, it's like she needs to change her pads every hour. She's just like me when I was growing up before I started my birth control at fifteen. Birth control, that's gonna be quite the conversation when Aria asks for some.

I told her after it became official her living with us that if she ever needs to talk to me about sex, periods, and whatever else I would be there-judgment-free.

I mean how could I judge. I lost my virginity at barely fifteen and Alessio was no better based on what he told me. I walk down the aisle and stop when the thought comes.

When did I last have my period? It's been a while. I open my phone and check the calendar. One, two...three, a month?

I pick up the pads, and then the little pink boxes that sit right next to it and head for the bathrooms, leaving my cart outside. My hand shake as I open the box. This is crazy, this can't be.

"You came so much inside of me."

"Good."

But, it could be. Alessio never uses a condom and I- I wasn't on any birth control until a few weeks later. How long ago was that? One? Two months ago? Shit...I take out the pregnancy tests and pee on them. And like before, oh so long ago all of them are positive.

Two lines on one

One clear as day just says pregnant

And another merely has a plus sign.

My hands shake, and all I can see is that night. That horrible night while I hold my dead daughter in my hands. I can't do this again. What if it happens again? I can't go through that again.

"Come on! I need to get in there." I look at the pregnancy tests and then to myself-I'm really pregnant, just like last time. It was exactly like this. I took five tests before and they all said it was true. And now-"hey! I have to piss!"

I throw away the pregnancy tests and open the door. I don't even make eye contact with the rude person and I go to my cart. Aimlessly, I get the rest of my groceries and pay. How? I have no idea because all I can think about is the little life inside of me and all the things I've done.

The drinking, the deli meats, the standing in front of microwaves, the crazy amount of coffee. I haven't taken a single prenatal vitamin and I went into the hot tub last night. I haven't been exercising as much as I should be outside of sex and walking Charlie. God!

Oh God, it's gonna happen again. I get into my car and rest my head on the steering wheel.

It really happened again. I'm not ready for this heartache again.

I clench my stomach. Stupid, stupid me. Why did this have to happen?

And in an instance, one travesty turns into another in a blink of an eye. My window shatters and I don't even get a chance to scream before the barrel of a gun is to my head.

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