Chapter Thirty-One

Kian

~ 2 more months lmao

I still haven't told Bridger about the pup. Besides Corzo, Jenna is the only person who knows as I did eventually get around to telling her. She just hugged me and told me she'd help me in any way, but she did ask if I told Bridger. I told her I was going to, I just never told her when. Every time I think about telling him, my brain gets fuzzy and I want to hide myself away from everyone and protect my pup from being snatched away from me. It's the same feeling I get when I'm around Corzo -- I hate that he knows. So I just...I hate to say that I ignore it but I do and it has helped me focus on other things regarding my pack. I know that this makes me a terrible person -- hiding the fact that I'm pregnant from Bridger who has done nothing but been kind to me -- but I'm just not ready to share the news. I love him, I know that I love him, but I can't stop my brain and my body from reacting in terror at the mere thought of telling him or anyone who isn't an omega. I know that I'm not scared of Bridger. I tell myself that he's a wonderful, pure soul who wouldn't harm a fly. I'm just scared of what he is and what people in his rank have done. Even now, just thinking about it makes my heartbeat speed up. I try to focus on other things to calm myself down like the fast heartbeat inside of me coming from my pup. When I was pregnant with the girls, I used to soothe myself at night by closing my eyes and focusing on their heartbeats. I do that now with the comfort of knowing that I will always hear that heartbeat for the rest of my life. I still don't know the sex of my pup and I have avoided finding out until I can finally work up the courage to tell Bridger without feeling like my soul is about to be ripped from my body. I know I need to tell him soon and how horrible I am for hiding it when I'm so close to my due date...but I just can't. I know he'll be angry with me and that only makes me want to avoid it even more.

I feel like I'm trapping myself in a hole and I keep digging deeper and deeper when the only true option is to just climb out.

So I've been hiding it from everyone using a scent mask. Luckily, at four months, I'm surprisingly not showing much. I have a small, perfectly rounded belly that's easily hidden underneath the flowy clothes that take up my entire closet. I have been worried about the lack of movement from my pup and my tiny baby bump with me being so close to due, but the iotas have stated that me and my pup are completely healthy. My pup is just small and lazy. They also mentioned that omega pups aren't active in the womb or outside of it.

It hurts not telling Bridger. He has done so much for me and every time I call him, he is happy to speak to me. I want to tell him, but I'm just so, so irrationally scared that any time I get close to just blurting it out, I freeze and it feels like someone is squeezing their hand around my throat. It's terrifying and it makes me angry, but also sad for hiding this from him. Sometimes I hit my head over and over again to knock some sense into me, but I still can't seem to do it. It makes me so sad that even now as I lie in my bed, I almost want to cry. And I've been crying myself to sleep about this whole mess far too much so I try to redirect my thoughts to new things. I'm tired of waking up with puffy eyes and a crusty nose so I avoid it because right now, that seems to be the best option. Avoid. One day, I won't be able to avoid my problems.

Besides my pregnancy, I have been working on many other things with Corzo. He knows how badly I've been wanting to enhance my leadership skills so he's allowed me to attend meetings with him and other alphas. He had a month of meetings with these alphas to discuss alpha-matters. I even got to meet the alpha who lives in the eastern part of Corzo's territory. He was old with a very young daughter and just a delight to be around. When Corzo first asked me to do this, I thought he was insane. When they lay eyes on me sometimes they'd scoff or look confused. They'd lean and whisper to their betas, eyebrows scrunched and forehead wrinkled. Other times, they'd loudly ask Corzo why an omega was sitting with them and if I'd be serving them somehow. Most times, they just stare at me or ogle me which made me uncomfortable, sure, but I never showed it. Corzo made sure to never leave me alone with them.

Luckily, the meetings only lasted a little less than a month as I could no longer do it because my crazy pregnancy-brain told me the alphas knew that I was pregnant and they were going to take my pup even though I had a scent mask.

I learned to ignore their hostility and ill intentions and keep my head held high. Sometimes, Corzo would ask for my opinion on whatever matter they were discussing. When he first asked me, it shocked me and I froze which embarrassed me terribly. But when he does it now, I take a moment to gather my thoughts and answer confidently. It's hard being in a room with so many higher-ranking people, their power making me want to squeeze into myself and submit under their hard gazes. They also talked so assertively about things I didn't understand. The high-ranking members would stare at Corzo as though he lost his mind and they usually never like the answer I give despite it being logical. Then Corzo or Vic would repeat what I said and everyone would be happy.

I'm learning to live with that kind of disrespect. There are two evils: be disrespected or be physically harmed. I'd much rather be ridiculed and dismissed than to be beaten and raped - the lesser of two evils. I'm slowly but surely coming to terms with that word -- the r word. It feels...wrong to say that's what happened to me, it makes me feel wrong and disgusting. But I'm coming to terms with it and maybe one day I'll be able to say the word without feeling as though I'm about to vomit.

Anyways, of course, any leader would want to be respected by other leaders, but I also understand that in today's time, that'll never happen for me. It'll take a long, long time before they will see omegas as strong enough to lead more or less equals. I know that we will never be equal to an alpha -- it is biologically impossible. Alphas are stronger, faster, bigger, taller; they are natural-born leaders and must lead and have followers. If they don't, disaster happens. But omegas...we're capable of great things too. We can be strong and faster, we can make ourselves big just as well as make ourselves small. Unlike alphas, omegas have choices. Alphas must lead, alphas must be dominant -- omegas were made to take all types of roles. Alphas took that from us. So I tell myself when they scoff, sneer, and roll their eyes at me that I shouldn't care. They're angry because I'm taking back what they took from me, from us. Their reactions don't bother me. They have no idea all the crap I've been through and how I'm lucky to be where I am right now. Maybe they do considering they think so little of me as is, but it doesn't matter. They don't know me and that's what matters. And I don't want to know them. They never had to struggle the way I have, and in that right, I am stronger than them, more capable, more admirable. That's what Bridger and Corzo say and I'm finally starting to believe it.

Soon enough, they will be wondering where their omegas are. Soon enough they won't have a punching bag or a toy to play with and spit on. They will hate me in a whole new way they never thought possible.

While I still care a little, I've settled into the mindset that it doesn't concern me what a higher-ranking, more-educated wolves think of me. It's their fault, not mine.

That's what's important. It's their fault, not mine. I am no longer going to apologize for their actions; I am no longer going to excuse their ignorance. They have all the power in the world to stop being the way they are, yet they choose not to. It's a choice. Alphas and betas and zetas aren't biologically abusers; every day James and Jason woke up and made the decision to abuse us.

I have learned that it's easier to succumb to society's rules than to create new ones. I will not do that.

When I began thinking like that, it was like another door had opened. All this time I had blamed myself. I blamed myself because I couldn't serve my parents well enough that they gave me away; I blamed myself everytime I messed up when we were being trained to serve our owners; I blamed myself when Jason's father and Jason beat me. Then I started blaming goddess herself. Because she made me like this. She made me into an omega and she gave me the life I had. But if she gave me that life then she gave me this life too.

And I refuse to give her credit for the hard work Bridger, Corzo, and I are putting into this.

So I blamed them. I blame Zeta Calter and Jason and James and Cole and even Leon. It was their fault because they only saw the worst in me. It's their fault because they're stupid and ignorant. And it's their fault that they lost me.

And it is me who managed to rise above all of the bad stuff and work on becoming something greater than them.

Because I am strong, capable, and deserving of great things.

'But they didn't break me; they never broke me' I think. This was hard to accept, but with Bridger's help, I began to realize that I was never broken like how I thought I was.

I just needed to surround myself with good people and all the cracked pieces would slowly mend themselves. I was never broken. There are just parts of me that need some glue or tape or string – healing. And I am healing...very slowly, but I am. I know that once I can get this pregnancy fear off of my mind, I'll feel even more healed.

Corzo has taught me how to make calls and decisions for the betterment of Oasis as well. He told me that while it's good to be a "servant leader", I should also be direct and make sure that those who I lead have set roles and respect my role. He said while higher-ranking wolves don't respect me, my pack must respect me. So, about two months ago, I told everyone that they'll need to begin thinking of how they want to contribute to the pack. Without a second to spare, Jenna wanted to train to become an iota and work under Dr. Edkard who will take the role as Head Theta when we get a clinic. I decided that we'd have a small clinic for therapy and health check-ups, but for more serious things like birth and crises, Corzo's much bigger hospital would offer their services.

Iotas must go through special schooling, so she agreed to train as an Iota Assistant and then maybe, in the future, she can go through the special schooling for Iotas. Jenna was taken from her pack after an invasion. In her pack, she was allowed to go to school and had taken many advanced classes until she was ten, when she was taken from her school. Still, she's incredibly smart and her reading and math skills have taken her a long way already. She's already hands-on in Corzo's pack, following behind iotas and working towards getting certified as an assistant.

Char wanted to continue being an eta but I convinced her to become a zeta instead so that she could train others who show interest in becoming etas. She agreed and has since been training to become a zeta and Katie, an eta.

Then there was Mika who had enjoyed doing nothing but frolicking through the fields and swimming in the ocean. Mika was born in our pack and never went to school so he can't read very well. Peyton and Jenna tried teaching him when we were still there and I have tried recently too. He just doesn't get it and it makes him frusterated. He has issues understanding letters and has never been good at focusing. He doesn't like math, either. He gets the numbers mixed up and nothing seems to click with him. However, he seems to really like gardening. So I sent him to hang out with the Nus of Corzo's pack; they're scouts and they're in charge of natural resources such as gardening and ensuring the health of the land. He loves it. He comes home every day to tell me about a new edible mushroom he's learned about or a new fruit as well as seeds to plant his own stuff.

It makes me happy to see my friends - my family - happy. I have such an amazing family.

I like being a leader. I like being strong and looking strong. I like being healthy and confident.

I like being happy. And for the most part, I am. But I know that at some point, I need to stop ignoring my big problem. When I'm happy, I feel guilty about everything and then I'm no longer happy. I guess it's better that way; I shouldn't be happy and laughing when I'm hiding such a huge secret from Bridger.

I try to clear my mind again, but it's like once my mind thinks of one stressful thing, it brings up a million different ones as well. Thoughts about Peyton fly across my mind, making my chest feel heavy as my heart sinks. I haven't allowed myself to think too much about him and I try desperately to remove those thoughts. Then I think about all the omegas who will be counting on me and–

I can't breathe. I cover my face with my hands and try to catch my breath as tears wet my skin. My stupid anxiety attacks have become frequent again, but I haven't told anyone. Not even Dr. Edkard and he has been helping me so much with my negative thoughts, I know it's bad that I'm keeping stuff from him too. I hate being so secretive and I hate my stupid mind for making me be this way.

This is why I need Bridger.

With that thought, a sob breaks out of my throat. I tighten my hands against my face as I cry into them, my stomach sinking with every breath I try to take. I know stress can be hard for the pup inside and I try to calm myself down, but I can't.

'Everything will be okay' I tell myself as I cry. 'Everything is going to work out. Bridger will forgive you, Peyton will be here, and you will be a good leader'

But what if everything doesn't work out?

---

When I wake up, I hear an unfamiliar heartbeat in my room. I pretend to sleep as I slowly roll over with my eyes closed to feel if Mika is sleeping beside me. Sometimes he does that. There's no weight beside me, though, so I frown.

The heartbeat is strong and steady, I can't tell if this person is asleep or just very calm. I try sniffing the air for a scent but alarmingly, there isn't one.

I sit up straight in my bed and sitting across my room in one of my white chairs is a man I've never seen before. He sits with a smile and one leg crossed over the other while reading a book. Without thinking, I scream and stand up to either attack him or run (I don't know) but he moves so fast that it confuses me for a second.

In the corner of my room, he holds his hands up in surrender, his smile gone. I grab a vase to throw at him but when I do, it stops mid-air before disappearing and reappearing in his hand. He carefully sits it down before standing up straight and putting his arms down to his sides.

"Please do not scream," he says carefully, his voice sounds funny, "I am not 'ere to hu-"

"Who are you?!" I scream again, "What are you doing in my room?!"

I'm wearing nothing but Bridger's hoodie and my boxers underneath. He doesn't seem bothered by my lack of clothes, but I am. He's a stranger in my room, on my land and while he looks just as alarmed as I feel, I can't calm myself down.

I run to attack him.

I scream when I'm jerked back and lifted up into the air so I can't run anymore. He watches me with wide golden eyes until I stop struggling. I can't fight the air so I stop wasting my energy. We don't say anything to each other as I try to gather my bearings while taking a moment to actually look at him. He has very dark skin that almost matches his black hair that's styled in thick locs with golden rings. He's dressed in all-white attire: a white blazer that shows off his lean arms, white pants, even white shoes. He wears gold jewelry all over his fingers and face, but one random green ring stands out amongst the white and gold. However, his eyes are the most intriguing part of him. They're completely white with a gold line around what would be the colored part of a person's eyes -- just a thin gold lining. They pop out against his velvety skin and the sun shining through my room makes them seem all the brighter. I have never seen someone with all-white eyes before...it's almost unnerving. Is he a demon?

He clears his throat.

"I am not 'ere to hurt you," he says, his accent weird almost as if he's slurring his words.

"My name is Marquise," he says, "I am a noble of and liaison for ze Silver Court of Angels - you are familiar, yes?"

'Ah, he's an angel. Not a demon'

I relax in the air, hoping he'll put me down. He doesn't. It feels scary not being able to touch the ground. I can't feel my own body up here, as if gravity just disappeared. If my belly was big from my pregnancy, I think I'd love to be floating like this, but right now, I hate it.

"I was only waiting for you to wake," he says, rubbing the back of his neck, "I realize my mistake and I am sorry for scaring you. I should never 'ave come onto your territory unannounced."

I don't say anything. I can accept his apology but it still isn't okay. There were many others ways he could have found me: knocking on the door, for example.

"Bref, I was sent 'ere to request your presence in front of The Court of Lords. They would like to 'ear your case as it is above z'e matters of z'e lower courts."

My eyes widen. The Court of Lords?! I've never even heard of them. All I know is there's The Silver Court and The Gold Court - no one ever told me that there was a higher level than those two. I wonder if there are any books on angels, but right now that's no matter. They want to speak to me?! Like...in the flesh?!

"Now? What court is that?" I ask, eyes wide.

"Z'ey are...like gods," Marquise says as if it means nothing. Then he falters and moves his hand from side to side, "half-god. Aye, what is the word? Ah, demigod!"

"Gods?!" I yell.

"Half-gods...a-and goddesses." He scratches his neck again. "I'm new to z'is, I apologize."

He's doing terrible, but I don't tell him that. Everything he's said is just too confusing and he still has me in this stupid air trap and I'm still basically naked. All of this is too sudden and too fast, I don't even know if my brain is completely awake yet some angel snuck into my room and is telling me gods -- half-gods -- are requesting my presence.

I take a deep breath. "M-Mr. Marquise, can you please put me down so I can get dressed? We...we can talk again downstairs once I've had food."

"Oui, z'that is much better," he claps his hands with a bright smile, golden eyes crinkling. He puts me down gently and watches me. He just stands there.

"Please go downstairs," I say slowly.

"Oh- yes," he nods again awkwardly and falls through the floor.

A noble angel just fell through my floor. And he wants me to meet gods. And he has all-white eyes.

My stomach twists and my face flushes as I try to comprehend everything that just happened.

"Okay," I say to myself as I curl my toes on the solid ground, where I want to stay forever for now on. "Just start my day like normal."

Usually, I wake up and immediately call Bridger so he knows that I thought of him the moment my eyes opened. Sometimes he does the same, but he's always getting up much earlier than me and doesn't want to disturb me. Recently, it's gotten a little harder to call him. I still do and if I don't, he calls so no matter what, I'm talking to him every day. I just hate listening to him be so excited to talk to me because he doesn't know. It's been two months and he doesn't know.

Am I selfish? Greedy? For listening to his loving voice and soaking in these brief moments between the two of us, pretending that I'm not carrying his pup?

No, no, I can't think about that--

"Good morning, beau-"

I take a deep breath and shake my head. I plaster a fake smile on my face to get rid of all the scary thoughts. "Bridger, this angel has completely white eyes and is making me meet gods," I start and I don't let him respond. "Should I really be meeting gods for this? I know my pack is serious and that I need help, but is this really a godly matter? I would expect...like...war and stuff to be godly matters, but I don't even think my pack will be that big. Why would gods want to talk to me? And why does he have all-white eyes?!"

I pace around my room, my hand in my hair. The knot in my stomach tightens and just thinking about talking to angelic gods makes me sick from nerves.

Bridger is silent on his end.

"Bridger?" I ask.

"I hear you," he says, "I just don't understand what's happening. I'm used to good mornings and I love yous, not rants about white eyes and gods."

I groan and explain to him what happened just minutes before. How a random man scared me out of my sleep and held me in the air while he looked at me with his creepy eyes and told me that gods and goddesses wanted to meet me. Half gods and goddesses.

"Kian, The Court of Lords are just demigods," Bridger says with a chuckle, "they're like elders; they have divine rights and they represent different..uh...concepts. They're not gods in the sense that like we have a Goddess or creators of the universe - it's really complicated. Just know they are deities that don't require worship. As for the eyes...I don't know, maybe that's just an angel thing."

"Oh..." I sit down on my bed, "but still, all of this makes me nervous. I never thought I'd be meeting gods, half-gods, demigods - whatever. I never even thought I'd have to meet the angels. I thought they'd just do stuff in the background."

Bridger hums. "But this is still huge. You may not see your pack issues as a godly matter, but they do. Plus, you're meeting angels, Kian. Not only that but divine ones!"

"I guess, but...I don't know I'm still nervous," I sigh and drag my hand down my face. "Anyways, good morning."

"Good morning," I can hear his smile on the other side and it makes me smile and relax a bit.

"When will you come to see me again?" I ask, "I miss you."

That's an understatement. I miss him so much I don't have the words to describe it.

"Soon, Shaye is doing well with her training but some problems have arisen here in Arron's pack. We...we are trying to settle them, but I don't know how long it'll take."

I frown. "What kind of problems?"

"Just...I don't want to stress you with things out of your control. Anyway, where is this Marquise now?"

I tell him that I told Marquise to wait for me downstairs. Afterward, we talk a little longer until I realize that I need to go downstairs to finish talking to the noble-liaison-white-eyed angel. I tell Bridger that I need to go and he whines out an "awww" before telling me that he loves me.

It's hard to say it back. It feels wrong.

It's not that I don't love him. It's just how can I tell him that I love him when I'm hiding such important things from him? I close my eyes tight and place my hand over my stomach. It makes me sick thinking about it. So many different feelings fight for power: fear, guilt, anger. It makes me feel lightheaded and panicked all at once. I don't want to panic, I don't want to panic. I focus inward and drown everything out. After a few seconds, I can hear the quick heartbeat inside and it slowly calms me down from having an attack. It's like an anchor that keeps my thoughts from drifting to the stressful ones that are waiting to overflow my brain like a tsunami.

Calm, I place my phone back onto its charger and quickly dress myself. I brush my teeth and hair, watching as the curls untangle themselves and poof up all crazy. I still have no idea how to handle my hair so I just pull it into a hair tie and call it a day.

When I finally make it downstairs I see Marquise sitting on the stools at the counter island. He's talking to Vic and I frown, wondering why he's here so early. Everyone else is gone.

"Vic, you're here."

I don't mean to sound rude, but Vic hangs around here a lot and he's always doing things for me. I should be grateful, I know, but sometimes I feel that he has other intentions and I don't like Vic the way he may like me. He built a bookshelf above my headboard, he sometimes attends my and Corzo's training just to encourage me or to tell Corzo to "stop being hard me", he comes here a lot in the morning to make me and the others food, and he's constantly asked me if I'd like to go see the humans with him because he knows I want to see them. But I don't want to see them with him, I want to see them with Bridger. He also talks about Bridger a lot, constantly asking me how he's doing or when he's coming to visit. Sometimes I don't know if he's around me because he likes me or because he likes Bridger. Either way, I don't like it.

"I am!" Vic winks, "I made you breakfast too."

He smiles at me as I walk around the island and look at the food he has sitting out: an omelet, bacon, sausage, and strawberries. The eggs make me feel queasy, but I try to hide my discomfort.

"I made some earlier too but Mika ate literally all of it," Vic laughs and shakes his head. I smile a little. We all know Mika has a huge appetite, but it's always so shocking to see it in action. He can eat the whole house and still be hungry.

I can hear Vic sniffing the air as I stand close to him to get my food. I look up at him and see him frowning a bit before he takes a few steps away from me. That makes me frown and I consciously sniff the air, wondering if I stink.

I don't stink. I always shower.

'...I forgot to put on the scent spray'

I could run upstairs and put it on, but what's the point of doing it now if Vic already knows? No, no, he can't know...that would make three people, none of which are Bridger.

My scent is already sweet, maybe he'll just think it's a hormone thing. He can't think I'm pregnant...could he?

"Thank you, Vic," I mutter before turning my gaze to the angel. "Marquise, have you eaten?"

Marquise shakes his head and holds his hands out. "I don't eat meat. I am vegan."

"Is that an angel thing?" Vic asks.

He laughs, twisting his green ring. "No, just a me thing."

While they talk, I try to remember what vegans are. I know that they don't eat meat but vegetarians also don't eat meat so I can't remember the difference.

What happens if an omega comes here and they're vegan but I end up feeding them something they still can't have?

My eyes widen. That can't happen.

"What's the difference between a vegan and a vegetarian?" I ask.

"Vegans don't eat, use, or wea'hr anything that animals were involved wit' like...leat'er, wool, and animal-tested cosmetic' -- honey, too. Vegetarians just don't eat meat, some don't eat eggs, some eat fish, it is all preference wit' them. Vegans are far more strict wit' t'eir lifestyle."

"Oh," I nod, making a mental note to learn to cook vegan and vegetarian dishes in case the need ever presents itself. As well as not use whatever cosmetics are. "Okay, anyway, can I ask about your eyes?" I really need answers so I can stop obsessing over those creepy eyes.

Marquise laughs as if he's been asked this many times. "No, it is not an angel thing and neither is the all-white attire -- I'm very stereotypical. When I was human, I lost my sight as a teen, when I became an angel, I begged for my sight to be returned. I guess the white-eyes just came wit' it, I can see far better than anyone wit' t'ese eyes and I can see more colors and more color varients."

"You can see more colors?!" I exclaim, "that's amazing."

Marquise nods. "An amazing gift from z'e Lords."

'Ah, The Lords'

I sit up straighter and clear my throat. "I think we should start talking about why you're here."

I glance at Vic, hoping he'll leave so we can have a private conversation but he isn't looking at me. He's made himself at home at the table, his nose shoved in his phone as he taps away on the screen. I'm too bothered by his presence, I'd just prefer that Marquise and I talk alone.

I watch Marquise twist the green ring a few times before stopping, keeping his fingers pinched around it.

"After z'e Nymph Order contacted a liaison, I was immediately put on your case as an advocate," he explains. "I conversed back and forth between the Silver and Gold courts and The Gold Court agreed z'at your case was a higher matter, so z'ey decided to sponsor your case. We were discussing how to help you before word spread and z'e Lords found out. z'hen, z'e Lords summoned me to z'heir court and I advocated the best I could for you - about your character and cause-"

I frown. "How do you know about my character? You don't know me at all."

Marquise smiles as he laughs nervously. "Angels know everything about everyone. From the second you are born to the second you take your last breath. No one is undocumented in our database."

He says it as if it's not a little creepy -- actually, big creepy. But when I think harder about it, I guess it really isn't that creepy. From the little that I know about them, it makes a little sense for angels to know everything. Plus, they're the true good guys, right?

"Bref, z'ey are interested in you because it has been z'eir goal for a few years now to end z'e abuse and trafficking wit'in werewolf wolf packs and auctions – specifically for omegas; z'ey have created safe 'ouses for runaways and escapees however, z'ey understand that werewolves need a pack to belong to. z'e Elders were never interested in using z'eir divinity to support a pack for omegas and so z'ey 'eard about you and are excited to meet you and discuss furt'er advancements. I must warn you, z'ough, it is a bit problematic because werewolves are not z'e most...help-seeking species ever so z'e Elders 'ave not taken too kindly to our efforts in the past."

He talks a lot and his accent makes him a little hard to understand, but I can breathe better now knowing they just want to talk about their ideas because what I'm doing is what they've wanted to do all this time. I was nervous before because I thought maybe they weren't happy that I was bothering their courts.

Now, I'm less nervous about that and more nervous about the mere fact that I'm about to talk to literal gods. "When do I go?"

Marquise claps his hand. "Anytime you feel comfortable. Now would be better, you know, before z'e baby and all."

My face drops. Great, now four people know, and still not Bridger. If Vic thought differently before, he now officially knows. I glance at him and his eyes are on me. I try to ignore him as I frown at Marquise.

"How do you know I'm pregnant?"

"I told you, angels know–" He holds his finger up to tell me to wait before a file appears in his hand. He flips it open and my face appears on a picture inside. 'What?!'

I stand up and walk around to look at what he's looking at. I look down at the file in his hand. It has my basic information: five-feet-nine-inches, brown eyes, blonde hair. It also has my name...my full name: Kian Blake Santos.

That's my full name. Santos not Carter.

"What is that?" I ask, pointing at a word I don't recognize.

"Brazilian," Marquise pronounces slowly, "Your father is mixed-race with his nationality -- born country with which he identifies -- being Brazilian. Your mom is biracial: Black and White. Did you know?"

I didn't know any of this. I can't really remember what my parents looked like. They gave me away so young. I barely remember my mother's face; I know that she had really light skin with curly hair much like mine. But that's it. All the rest of her features are blurry. I remember, when they gave me away, she gave me a coat. She told me it was a cold world and that I should keep as warm as I can. I don't know if she was being kind or making a joke. Either way, they gave me away knowing that my life would end up in misery.

I don't remember what happened to the coat. It was the coat I shared with Peyton when I met him for the first time.

I shake the thoughts away as I continue flipping through the file. Sure enough, at the end, it states "children" and lists out Avery, Ivory, and "unborn".

"That's so...weird," I say, "you know...everything?"

Marquise nods. I don't understand.

"How does this file know? Is it magic?"

"Oui, it changes by itself as the person grows and does new things," Marquise explains.

So many questions run through my head, but I need to focus on the matters at hand. Maybe I can ask the other questions another day. Right now, I have to talk to these demigods about my pack.

I take a deep breath and nod. "Okay, okay. When do I talk to the Lords?"

"When you're ready."

I nod slowly and try to think. I could just get this over with and meet them now, but I don't know if I'm ready for that. I need to shower and let my food digest, I need to talk to Corzo and get a better understanding of what I'm walking into. I want to talk to Bridger about this more too, I feel like our conversation was cut too short.

"You don't have to go right now, Kian," Marquise says, "you can take your time."

"I'm a little nervous," I try to laugh, "I-I never thought I'd be meeting demigods."

"All is well, but I must say, The Lords are not as...grandiose as you may be expecting. They are very down-to-earth so to speak, and patient. They'll wait for you."

"I don't want to keep them waiting," I sigh, "I just need to think about this some more, please."

Marquise nods as he sits back in the chair. "If you will have me as a guest, I will be happy to wait."

Of course, I'd want an angel as a guest, what a silly question. I smile at him and nod. "Please tell me how to make a vegan breakfast and I'll whip something up for you since you're a guest. Also, why do you keep saying 'we'?"

---

Word Count: 5569

I had to end this abruptly because it was going on for too long.

Originally, this chapter is when Kian found out he's pregnant. It would have been a 4 month time skip (rather than broken down in 2) and the line where Marquise mentions the baby would have been the big reveal. Glad I changed it lol.

With how I wrote Marquise's character, I think I already love him and I hope you guys love him in the future chapters as well 😆

I'm also really bad at writing accents (I actually forgot I wrote him as a French guy LOL so I went back and changed some things) so if you guys have any pointers...

It's hard to build on species that people are already familiar with, so please be patient with some of the discrepancies that you may find while reading this. I may or may not rewrite it in the future, but for now, I am still in the process of world-building and building the species that will appear in this story and future stories. Feel free to point out mistakes in the future!