Chapter Five

Kian's POV

The omega's name is Keira. What catches my attention the most about her is how she smiles and holds herself. She's confident, head held high, gaze not lowered. She looks as though no one had ever hit or publicly humiliated her before and walks like she has an actual purpose and knows what it is. Keira is well-educated too. I can tell from how she talks. She goes on and on about the pack and how they treat omegas. She explains that they have their own floor in the packhouse that Epsilons guard at night and how omegas can freely walk about in the pack. Sometimes she uses big words that I don't understand. She told us she goes to a human school as do all the other omegas here.

Suddenly, I'm embarrassed.

Keira is gorgeous with dark brown hair, her curls very small and tight. She has big brown eyes and her skin is a dark, smooth brown. She shows off her arms in a faded pink sleeveless shirt and I see no bruises littering her unblemished arms and legs. Her bones don't stick out either and her thighs and soft tummy tell me she's not forced to skip meals. She has a full, round face and when she smiles, her cheeks rise up to her eyes and make them appear small. Her lips are thick and shiny and her cheeks have an everlasting pink tone to them and it makes me wonder if she's blushing or if it's...what do the girls call it...makeup? She can freely wear makeup? It doesn't even seem like she needs it...

I stare down at the ground, feeling inferior to even the most insignificant pack member. I wrap my thin arms around my body and want nothing more than to hide away. I look nothing like her. I've got scars and bruises, I'm too skinny, I'm too pale, my hair is a mess.

"You will really enjoy your stay here!" she says after her rant is over.

I don't say anything and neither does Peyton. I don't bother glancing at him, knowing he probably still has his hateful look plastered on his face. I dare a glance at Keira to admire how strong and healthy she looks but she catches me and offers me a kind smile.

She'll never understand what we've been through and Goddess forbid she ever does.

I risk the question...

"D-Do you have pups?"

She giggles at the question and I frown, wondering what she thought was funny.

"No, I'm only seventeen, I haven't met my mate yet."

I don't say anything else because Mika is fourteen.

"We just want to lie down," Peyton says, noticing my discomfort. I'm glad Keira doesn't ask if we have pups, I'm glad she doesn't ask if we've found our mates, I'm glad she doesn't ask us anything.

As kind as she seems, anything she could possibly ask would only ruin her innocence. I'd rather her keep her naive perspective that omegas are respected and we have the choice to wait for our mates. At least here, in this pack, it's not really naive or wrong to think that like that.

I bite my lip and frown down at the shoes the infirmary gave me. I then look at hers. They're clean and white with a pink check on each shoe. The more I look at her, the more shameful I feel.

"You only have female omegas?" Peyton suddenly asks.

Keira nods. "I don't know why, that's just what Alpha Arron wants."

Peyton and I share a look. I know why, he knows why. But she doesn't, and that's good.

We make it to the packhouse in little time. It's a huge building with several floors and too many windows to count. Two giant trees are hovering over it and as I get closer, I see names and other shapes carved into the bark. There's a woman and a young pup sitting by one, the pup has a sharp stick in his hand and is carving something in the bark of the tree.

We enter the packhouse and I'm immediately hit with Arron's scent. My nose wrinkles slightly but that's the only reaction I have to it. I wish I could react somehow even if it's disgust. I need to know my next moves for this situation and my body isn't helping. Do I reject him? Will he reject me? Should I be sad that I feel nothing for my mate? Goddess — no matter how much she hates us — made someone for me yet I feel nothing for him. If anything, the more I see him, the more dislike I have towards him. But I guess the same could be said for him me as he didn't seem happy to have me as a mate. Did Goddess make a mistake?

The only thing I'm sad about is I don't have a mate who I love and who loves me. So it's either I find someone without the help of the bond or I live alone. Alone seemed more ideal because I can't really hurt myself, I can only protect myself. Others can and will hurt me.

This makes me think back to Jason; how he told me constantly that he was my mate and abused me those few years until he found his actual mate. Then he laughed and told me that I wasn't worthy of love. My stomach twists because he was right.

"Alpha Arron's office is on the second floor," Keira says as she guides us to the elevator. I feel Peyton's eyes on me but I ignore them. He was in the room when Alpha Arron and I realized we were mates. He saw both of our reactions so there should be no questions in his head about it. I don't want the alpha and the alpha clearly doesn't want me.

It's fine. I'll be okay. I'll get past this. My eyes burn.

"The others and I agreed to give you two a room together for your stay," Keira says, "there are two beds and a private bath with soaps and towels. If you need shampoo, conditioner, or anything else, don't be scared to ask one of us. I'll be in my room. I'll show you where it's at."

I blink my tears away as we enter the pack house. The omega's hall is on the fourth floor. We exit the elevator and as soon as I step onto the hall, my nerves are immediately calmed. Peyton used to tell me that omegas help people keep calm, that our scent is a natural relaxer. I don't know if that's true since a lot of things that Peyton says are wrong. But maybe it's only true for omegas that are healthy. But now that I think about it, even when I was back in our old pack, being alone with just the other omegas made me just a little more calm.

Goddess...my thoughts are always so scattered. I want to lie down.

"Oh!" someone squeals. A girl runs down the hall to meet us. She looks older than Keira, maybe even older than Peyton. She has soft-looking, frizzy blonde hair that bounces around her head as she runs. Her skin is pinkish and her face is very sharp with a long nose that fits her face well.

"You're the visitors!" she says, her voice loud and exciting. "My name is Edith, what's yours?"

"Kian," I answer without thinking. Peyton takes a little longer to say his, but he does eventually.

Edith smiles, her blue eyes turning to crescents. "Welcome, Kian and Peyton. I really hope you'll enjoy your stay! Keira, have you shown them their room?"

"I was until you stopped us," Keira giggles.

Edith steps aside for us to keep walking but she follows closely behind. Keira guides us down the long hall before stopping in front of a door. I notice that all the other doors have decorations and names on them. They're decorated with stickers and drawings in paint and I notice Keira and Edith's name on the door two doors down from the one we stopped at. They must be roommates.

"This will be your room," Keira says, "and my room is just two doors down - Edith and I share it."

I nod to let her know I'm listening. She unlocks the door and hands me a key then another to Peyton.

"We...We g-get to lock the doors ourselves?" I ask, staring down at the object in my hand. I've only ever had doors locked from the outside.

"Yeah?" Keira's face turns to a frown. "It's to ensure privacy."

I don't tell her that privacy wasn't a choice for us until now. She doesn't need to know that. I simply smile at her and thank her for guiding us and being so kind. I then politely ask that she leave us to relax and get accustomed which she happily obliges, wishing us yet another good stay.

As soon as I close the door, Peyton crashes onto one of the beds. He covers his face with his hands and I stand there, feeling stupid as his shoulders begin to shudder.

I bite my lip, toying with the key in my hand. Everything in me tells me to run over and comfort him but I know how Peyton gets. He hates being touched and comforted. He'd rather sort himself out and pretend he's okay.

I do too, but sometimes, I wish someone would hold me and tell me everything will be alright even if it won't. I want to do that for Peyton, but false hope isn't something he likes.

I'm constantly feeling useless.

I look around the room instead. It's equipped with two beds, two nightstands, two wardrobes, and dressers as well as a minifridge. There's a big window on the left side with brown drapes. The carpet is beige and the walls are white with a small chandelier in the centre of the ceiling. There's a phone on one of the nightstands and I walk over and pick it up. I have no intention to call someone, I just want to touch something so I hold it to my ear and listen to the dial tone before bringing it down after a while.

"P-Peyton..." I say as I wrack my brain for solutions. His crying becomes audible. "Maybe you should go take a nice, warm bath."

He doesn't move so I do.

"I'll draw one for you," I say, "then you can relax. They...they won't hurt us."

He's overwhelmed. I am too. And I want nothing more than to take a nice, warm bath but I'll let him take one first. I walk towards the door where I hope the bathroom is and open it. It is! I smile a little to myself as I walk in, taking in how huge it is. Do all the others have big bathrooms like this?

I walk over to the tub, noting that it's both a shower and a bath. I open cabinets until I find a body scrub before running the water and looking for a stopper. I pour some of the wash into the water to create suds before going back into the room.

Peyton is lying on his back, his brown hair flipped up so that his forehead is showing. His face is flushed and red, eyes puffy and wet. I sit down beside him and take his hand into mine. He doesn't like to cry in front of us, he always likes to come off as strong and unbreakable.

But, of course, you can't break something if it's already shattered to pieces.

"Peyton..." I sigh, "l-let's just live in the moment."

He doesn't answer. I rub my thumb against his soft hand.

"They're really kind to us," I say.

"What about your mate?" he croaks out and I just shrug.

"I don't feel anything," I answer honestly, "but what about yours?"

He doesn't answer. He just shakes his head and turns onto his side. I slide closer to him until I can wrap my arms around him. He usually doesn't like this but this time, he doesn't tell me to move so I stay.

We stay like this for a while until I remember the bath. I poke his back and he hums.

"Your bath should be ready," I say, "go on, you stink."

He laughs at that, lifting himself up and smelling his underarms. His nose wrinkles and I laugh as he sniffs the inside of his shirt.

"Enjoy your bath," I call after him as he walks towards the bathroom. He thanks me before disappearing into the room, locking the door behind him.

Before I can think about lying down to wait for Peyton to finish, a knock on the door makes me flinch. I stare at it, expecting whoever knocked to come in but they don't. I remember now that I had locked it so I quickly walk towards the door and open it.

Behind the door stands Bridger. My eyes widen a bit at his sudden presence but I quickly move to the side to let him in, not wanting him to become angry with me.

He shakes his head and holds his hand up to stop me. "I don't mean to disturb you, but I've got some questions. If you'll step out with me, please."

I swallow as I glance behind me at the bathroom door. Hopefully, I'll be back before Peyton is finished so he won't be worried about where I've gone. I slide into the hallway and gently close the door before turning to face Bridger. He gestures for me to follow him and I do, stuffing my hands into the pockets of my pants as cold air in the hallway nips at my exposed arms.

I stare at the back of Bridger's head. I don't mean to and I'm scared he'll feel my eyes on him but I can't help but look. He hasn't snapped at me for looking at him before, so maybe he doesn't mind? Bridger seems to be the opposite of Arron both in personality and psychically. While Arron has straight blonde hair, a clean face, and icy blue eyes, Bridger has wavy, dark brown, or maybe black hair and sharp green eyes. They're both muscular and huge as anyone of their ranking would be but Bridger's aura is almost like a stern whisper: gentle but assertive. Arron just seems...angry, violent even.

If my mate had to be in this pack, why did it have to be Arron? Why not...Bridger?

Bridger guides me into what looks like a lounge area in the omega's hall. The room is empty of people with several comfortable-looking chairs taking up one side of the room with a big flat-screen TV. On the other side is a kitchen, the carpet ending where the tiles begin. The main light source is the big windows with the curtains pulled to the side. The area looks warm and comfortable and I let myself imagine the omegas curling up on the couches with warm drinks and watching movies together.

The idea makes me a bit sad.

I hear Bridger close the door behind him and suddenly, I become highly aware that now it's only us in this room together. My heart immediately starts beating faster.

"I just have some questions that may be private," Bridger explains, his voice calm and soothing like a warm drink I suddenly crave. "I closed the door for privacy."

His voice makes my nerves settle a bit better. He gestures at the table close to the windows with some board games piled on it. We sit down across from each other and I keep my eyes glued to the surface of the table. I focus on trying to steady my breathing and calming my heart, repeating to myself that I'm safe, that he just wants to answer questions.

"I don't mind if you look me in the eye, I actually prefer it," Bridger says as places a notepad in front of him. "These are questions regarding your pack."

My eyes widen a bit. What would happen if he finds out how badly we're treated at our old pack?

"I-I don't want to cause any t-trouble," I say quietly.

He offers me a smile. "No trouble, but if The Elders are to get on our case or accuse us of trafficking when I'm able to find you and your friends a safe and permanent place to say, we can bring to their attention the situation in your old pack. These are all just precautions."

I bite my lip as I think. Would the alpha and all the other high-ranking members be forced to leave the pack? What if they manage to find out that it was me who ratted them out? They'd surely kill me if they found out...

"You don't have to go into great detail, Kian," Bridger says, "actually, we'll get back to these questions after you've grown a bit more comfortable. Tell me what you want in a new pack."

"I just..." I hum as I think. This is an easy question. "I w-want to be...I-I want to be treated good."

"That's it?" he asks, "no special requests?"

I shake my head. "I d-don't want to be scared a-anymore."

He stares at me for what feels like forever. I try to hold his gaze, but I quickly drop it, opting for staring at my hands in my lap. I can feel his piercing green eyes burning through me but for some reason, I don't feel uncomfortable. If anything...I feel self-conscious. Embarrassed. I know I probably smell bad and my hair is a mess on my head. I don't look nearly as pretty as the female omegas here and I don't hold myself the way they do either. They're so strong and happy and I'm...I'm not that.

"Kian," Bridger says, "do you feel scared right now?"

I shake my head quickly. "N-No. Not around...you."

"But around the other omegas?"

I shake my head. I don't feel scared around them either. I just feel insecure and bad about myself knowing I could be like them but I'm not.

"What about around Arron?" when Bridger says his alpha's name, I can almost hear the distaste in his voice. He kind of spits the name out as if it's disgusting on his tongue. Does he not like his alpha?

I swallow and don't answer. I don't want to disrespect the alpha of this pack. He's kind enough to let us stay here and allow Jenna to get treatment for her and her unborn pup. I would hate to ruin that. I couldn't ruin that.

"It's okay to voice your opinion on him," the beta says, "he's...he's your mate, anyway."

"I-I," I shake my head, "I don't know...he d-doesn't want me. That's okay."

He looks at me, the corner of his mouth tugging upwards. "You don't want Arron as your mate?"

My face heats and my stomach flips. Would he tell Arron? Would Arron get angry and beat me for disrespecting him? My heart jumps out of my chest at the thought of not only putting myself in danger by saying this but also Peyton, Jenna, and her pup.

"Hey, hey," he reaches out and places his huge hand atop mine that rests on the table. I stare at it, the way his massive hand covers my shaking one so easily. My face burns hotter.

"I won't tell Arron," he says with a chuckle, "but I'll be honest. I don't blame you for not wanting him. You're lucky you don't feel anything for him- I can tell you don't because no one with a budding bond would be able to say they want to reject their mate without feeling pain, Kian. Plus, it's pretty obvious."

I don't say anything as I continue staring at his hand. He gives mine a quick squeeze as he lets go and slides his hand back to him.

"You deserve someone to treat you well," Bridger says, "and Arron...he wouldn't be able to do that."

What does he mean by that? Is Arron actually a bad person? How could a beta talk about his alpha like this? Aren't all alphas and betas supposed to be best friends?

I look up at him, willing myself to meet his gentle gaze. I take in his face: his freshly shaved beard, the long, dark eyelashes, the curve of his nose. Wow...he's really...my face burns and I try to break his gaze, but for whatever reason, I can't.

He clears his throat and I quickly look down. Did staring at him too much cross a boundary? I suddenly feel awkward.

He shifts in his chair and I glance up at him. Even he looks a bit awkward as he raises his arm to pass his hands through his hair. The awkward gesture makes my own mouth twitch as Bridger looks at his notebook. Is his face red too? I've never seen a high-ranking member of a pack get flustered. It's...nice. Maybe even cute.

Bridger glances up at me from his notes, a lop-sided smile crossing his lips. He clears his throat again.

"Back to the questions..."

- - -

Word Count: 3368