Chapter 42

SIYA'S POV

I continued looking at hukum with tears filled eyes... I'm feeling like someone stabbed me in my heart with thousands of sharp knifes... how can he behave like he don't want this child when it is the sign of our pure love?.... this baby is his own blood, flesh, a piece of his heart then why he is panicking so much?.... he should be happy right then why is he behaving like he doesn't care about the baby?

"It's not Raghav I check her properly then only I send her so that my doubt can be clear" said Akshita

" No.... Siya jaan if it's positive then we don't want this baby ok we will.... we... will... ya we will do abor----

"DARE YOU COMPLETE YOUR SENTENCE HUKUM" I said in an authorized tone and he looked at me with wide eyes knowing well I can never yell or use such tone in front of him. And it's true, I never ever wanted to use it but he himself forced me to do so.

"Here I'm floating in the boat of happiness without caring of the destination. The amount of happiness and importance I'm feeling right now is impossible to measure. I'm bearing a small and beautiful life inside me, the satisfaction and peace of being completed I'm getting right now is just euphoric. I'm feeling blessed, blessed once again... God's giving me another gift."

"I thought you will be the happiest person hukum, knowing I'm carrying your blood, your part, our baby inside me but you are behaving exactly the opposite.... you want to k.... no No it's not gonna happen. How can you even think of something like that to your own baby. It's not only yours it's mine too and you need to take my permission to even touch it and here you are planning to!!!!....

I'm really amazed seeing this side of yours, it's blowing my mind...i-it's it's something that I never even imagined. You are ready to snatch my happiness...., my peace...., my gift...., my baby... away from me huh!! WHY??.... Whyy???.... Why you want.to.do.that ? How comes this thought even cross your mind hukum?? What is going inside your brain? Why were you so panicked when you heard about my pregnancy? Please tell me, we can slove the problem together only you know na. Please hukum I beg you, tell me what is the reason?"

I asked him knowing well something is wrong. He is my Maan for a reason. I call him Maan for a reason, he will never do something which will hurt me. He himself knows how much I love kids and taking away my child from me!!! There must be something is wrong.... he will never ever say something like this if he is not in trouble.

"THERE IS NO REASON BEHIND IT. KEEP THIS IN MIND WE DON'T NEED THIS CHILD. AND YOU DARE DISOBEY ME HUKUM." He shouted all of sudden making me flinch hard and come out of my thoughts and look at him with wide eyes shocked to hear his loud voice after years. He stromed out of the room and I looked at his direction until bhabhi put her hands on my shoulders turning me around hugging Me and I too start crying hugging her.

RAGHAV'S POV

I stromed out of the room and went towards my study room. I started breaking everything in anger. I regret shouting at her.

"Aaahhhh whyyy whyyy did I shouted at her, I shouted at her again after so many years, I poured my anger at her again when i told her i wouldn't.... aahhh she always suffers because of My anger.... I should have controlled my anger.... I brought tears in her eyes again no... no not anymore.... I don't want tears in her eyes it's really a very much painful seen.... it's breaks my heart I don't want her to go through any pain or sadness... I don't want to leave her even for a second.

No no I don't want this child. Pregnancy is very painful and also if I decide to keep this child then she will go away from me. She will leave me no I can't let this happen no "

I fall down on my knees crying hard

"I-im s-sor-rry.... I'm so sor-sorry ba-baby (sniff) , m-my ch-child. P-papa is s-so bad, h-he is.... (sniff) he is being s-selfish b-but I-I'm so-sor-sorry (sob) I ca-can't leave with-without (sob) your mumma.... I-I'm sorry for being bad and (sob) sacrificing you.... b-but papa (sob)loves you.... papa (sob) loves you very (sob) much please don't hate papa for choosing mumma over you. Papa is not strong he will not be able to live without mumma.... he is really very bad, selfish and weak person.... he don't have anything other than mumma.... with mumma, papa has everything but without mumma papa don't even need a place in heaven.... sorry for being so cruel and evil father.... please forgive your selfish evil father."

"NO..... Raghav you have to be strong.... you have to be strong for Siya, for yourself.... if not then she will go away from me and I can't let it happen. No I have to be strong"

"You think I will leave you?" Siya asked me from behind, I turned towards her with a shocked face, teary eyes and wet cheeks. I didn't expect her to come behind me after my brust out.

Her eyes are blood red because of excessive crying, red nose with red wet cheeks, she is shaking vigorously because of hiccups and sobs. Tears in her eyes just make me feel like to kill myself thousand time for making her cry....

I slowly move towards her and cup her face softly, joining our forehead and rubbing my thumb on her cheeks softly I try to calm her down.... if she will continue crying like this then she might get breathing problems.

"Calm down jaan.... l-lets ma-make y-you sleep.... y-ou take rest we will talk lat---''

"Later???..... is the matter can be talk and sort out later on huh????.... will you let me keep this baby if we talk later???.... will you understand how much I want to give birth to our child, if we talk later???.... will you understand how desperate I'm to be a mother???.... will you understand my happiness, my motherhood.... huh??? Tell me hukum if we will talk later then your decision will get change huh??.... then there is no later on...."

"You think I will leave you and go far away from you!!!.... wow!! If you know this much then you must be knowing well that where I go?, why would I do so? Etc etc...." she said every single word fill with sarcasm

Why she is behaving like this???? She never talk to me in this tone.... is it because of pregnancy????

"I'm asking something hukum!!!.... why you think that I will leave you???"

"T-th-that.... t-that...!!!" I wet my lips and was trying to find some excuse when she stop me and hold my hands taking me to bed making me sit then settling herself on my lap suddenly making me hold her waist in Instant.

Looking straight in my eyes she wishpered

"tell me"

"No hukum" I reply being all helpless. She understand my feeling and trouble so finely.

" Why?...." she wishpered again looking at me with longing teary eyes.

" please...."

"No.... no hukum.... please for one try to understand my feeling.... Do you even know how much I wanted this moment? Do you even know how much I waited for this moment.... I had always wish to be a mother.... I so wanted to be mother when I see bhabhi maa and samiraa di taking care of their babies.... only I know how much desperate I feel to take my baby, feed him, play with him, keep him safe in my arms just like bhabhi and didi does to ashvik, shrot, Riyanshi and shree. I never feel jealous of them but it's just my heart cry too. My heart too wanted to feel the rush of satisfaction when our baby call us as mother... I too wanted to be called as 'maa' I too wanted yo experience the feeling of being a mother."

"I wanted to feel my baby inside me, I wanted to feel how slowly slowly he gets his hands, nose, legs, eyes I wanted to feel that process when he is in process of becoming a human.... I wanted to feel his movement.... the sudden 2 second satisfaction when he will recognize me as his mother inside my tummy. I want to see that billion dollars smile on your face when our baby will recognize his father whenever you will touch my tummy."

"I wanted to feel your blood, your flesh, your ansh inside Me.... I wanted to feel the first kick, the satisfying phase of pregnancy, I want to hold my baby in my hands after giving birth to him want to hold him close to my heart then sigh feeling complete.... i-i want to feed my baby, run after him with food, play, dance, to teach him good manners, to keep him safe and sound in my arms, wanted, to give every single happiness of the world, never want to see a single tear in his eyes. I want to be a mother, mother of your child."

" don't you wanna feel it hukum? Don't you wanna feel the feeling of being a father? Don't you want to know how it's feel when our child call you 'papa'.... don't you wanna experience that pregnancy phase along with me?.... just imagine the feeling of being a father.... that feeling when you will protect our baby from whole world.... when you will be ready to die just to bring smile on his face.... why don't you want to smile first when you come home seeing our little bundle of happiness running in the house playing and living his life fully. We will be a complete family...."

"Hukum I just know one thing and that is ' maa baap ke liye baache kaaleje ka voh tukda hote hai jo harroj unki aankho ke samne hi khelta, kuddta, uchalta, hasta, rota aur aapni zindagi jeeta hai.'

My father always used to say me in past that we are the pices of his heart and if we are hurt that means his own heart is hurt too. And trust me hukum he said before departing from us that ' that scar pains alot.... the feeling of living in hell still being alive can be experienced."

"Do you want to experience that pain hukum?.... and let me tell you that pain is very painfull because I had seen my father and mother going through that pain. Do you want to experience it... will you be able to handle that pain if our baby will go away from us even before we get the opportunity to see him.... will be able to handle that pain you will not even be bliss to feel your own blood... your own heart.... your ansh. Hukum our baby is gift of god to us.... do you want to disrespect it."

"Tell me hukum will you be able to experience it??? Able to handle it.... is your soul not shaking just be thinking of it.... then what will happen afterwards huh!!?.... if you are not strong enough to let go of me then let me state it quite clear to you Mr. Raghav raghuvanshi that you are not strong enough to let go of our baby too. I don't know why you said that but let me tell my decision to you that letting go of our baby is next to impossible thing of this universe for me. Neither I'm letting go of our heart nor I'm letting you to do that. You better knot it in your mind.... and I'm definitely waiting for the day when you will explain me the reason. Think about what I said and change your stupid mind, don't make me change it in other way.... you might regret it."

She get up after threatening me kissing my cheeks which is wet because of excessive cry.... cleaning my teary eyes she give me a encouraging soft smile hiding her saddness and going away from the room.

She make me rethink my decision.... I was thinking about killing my own child.... just because I was scared of lossing my love I didn't think about my baby even for once.... I didn't think how much painful it will be for him to get hurt even before he takes his human body.... why I never able to notice the suffering of Siya when she look at bhabhi's taking care and loving their childrens..... was I too blind in my unconditional love for siya that I wasn't even able to see her hidden sadness.... I wasn't even thinking that whatever I was about to do is a sin. You make me realize my mistakes siya.... even after I shouted at you and make you cry you still come to make me understand and realize my mistake.... God why you send me such a understanding wife in the end of the fight i always regret fighting with her.... but whatever thank you for giving her to me.... thank you.

But I'm begging you god please don't take her away from me please.... if you want to punish me for killing peoples then takes me with you but please don't take my love.... my wife away from me please god.... I'm begging you please.

AUTHOR'S POV

THE NEXT DAY

Here Akshita, Apeksha, Veer and Ekansh are playing with Ashvik. Riyanshi is getting ready by her mother and badi maa when suddenly Siya enter without knocking going directly towards Akshita

''bhabhi maa when we are going for my check up'' Siya asked Akshita being all excited forgetting about everything that happens one day ago.

Everyone else was busy preparing for Krish's baraat but Siya is right now least interested in that because she want to go for her first check up.

Now you must be thinking what about Raghav then let me tell you after their conversation Siya roam around caring less about anything because she know what will be the result. And Raghav too after sometime got busy in preparations. At night when Raghav came to their room Siya was already asleep so after changing he too sleep beside her.

Early moring after waking up and getting ready for the day she prepared Raghav's necessary and directly went towards Ekansh and Akshita's room to ask when they will leave.

About family members then everyone knows about this good news but they don't know that Raghav wants abortion except Akshita.

"We can't go right now Siya. Incase you are forgetting then let me tell you that today is your brother's wedding and the barrat is in 5 or 6 hours" Akshita said making Siya whine.

"Whyy??... we can come back in 3 hours right!!" She said with hopeful eyes but her face fell after hearing a no from Akshita.

"No, now go and get ready Siya. Call us if you need help" said Apeksha lovingly.

"yeah go and don't wear much heavy clothes, it's OK you will look beautiful in everything.... and don't go around jumping like a bunny, walk carefully also don't eat any junk food.... and don't get much involved with strangers or even with some not-so-close relatives because your body must be more sensitive right now also We don't know who is good and who is bad. you can go for check up tomorrow after the functions are over ok." Said Veer softly patting her head and Siya nodded her head with a soft smile.

"Ok bhaisa I will kee--" her sentence get cut off him middle when Raghav came inside the room out of sudden and ran towards Siya checking her and sighed in relief when he sees her alright and hugged her to his chest and started scolding her.

"Siya, where the hell were you? Do you even know how worried I was.... here I'm searching for you like a mad man since morning and you are here chilling. Atleast you should have bloodly informed me before going away.... you also know that I want to see you first in the morning but no you never listen to me.... I'm dead worried about you. Do you know how many bad thoughts were going inside my mind? Are you even aware of it. Don't.... I repeat, don't you dare to go anywhere without informing me...."

"Calm down, Raghav.... why are you getting so hyper she wa--" Raghav cut off Ekansh and said in a frustrating tone

"You don't know anything, bhaisa. I need to be more careful now. Otherwise, she will leav-..." He stopped himself from exposing the secret

"Otherwise, she will what Raghav?" Ask Veer in serious tone, making him scared and nervous

"Otherwise, she will.... she will.... ya, she will get hurt bhaisa that's why I was worried, ya." He said, but the expression of Veer clearly state that he is not buying this excuse and they will have a deep conversation in sometime.

But Raghav decided to ignore it and focus on Siya.... he picked her up in bridal style and went towards their room, but after taking 3 steps, he stop hearing veer

"Raghav, after dropping Siya in your room, get ready and come to the terrace. Let's discuss the deal of Mr. Waghmare" said Veer, and Raghav nodded nervously without turning back and went away with a struggling Siya in his hands to get free.... but he cares less about it.

Reaching their room with whining Siya he made her sit on bed carefully like she is a glass doll.

"Shhh.... why are you whining like a kid?? Stop doing that, ok? Now tell me, did you have something?" Raghav asks, cupping her cheeks, and she shakes her head, pouting, making Raghav chuckle and kiss her lips softly continuously.

"Haha... bas... bas hukum bas" Siya said while giggling in between trying to push him away.

"Ahh, only I know how much desperate my ears were to listen to this melody again..... now tell me what you want to eat?" Raghav asked her after kissing her forehead, making Siya blush with red cheeks

"Ummm let me think 🤔 " she said

"Let you think??!!.... ok my queen take your time."

Said Raghav settling himself on bed, then pulling Siya on his lap. While placing one hand on her waist and leaving wet Kissing near her neck, cheeks, ears, then smelling her hair, playing with her bangles with his another hand making them jingle, moving her feet along with his feet making her anklets noise fill the room with their beautiful giggle, and lastly him looking at her as she is the most mesmerizing thing remain in this universe.

"Yes... got it" she said, being excited suddenly

"What?"

"I want to have bhaji pav along with guava juice" she said with a huge smile on her face

"Bhaiji pav?? In early morning" Raghav asked, making weird faces, and Siya nodded her head excitedly like a kid going on a picnic.

"No, you can't have it right now. If you want guava juice, then you can have it, but no pav bhaji.... you know it well that's too oily so better don't argue with that " said Raghav sternly and there Siya's eyes fill with tears again but before Raghav can say a word they hear a knock on the door and Siya run to open it with a speed of light.

"Oh omg why is my daughter crying??" Asked Rohini when she saw her teary eyes, and Siya hugged her, complaining about her son

"Maa sa... hukum... hukum said he would not let me have my desired food.... he even insults my food too saying is bad and is so oily... he even shouted at me while saying all this.... you know me and baby both got scared hearing his shout.... he doesn't love me at all, he just thinks about himself, he always makes me cry too, never listen to me, always ordering me around." She ended her complaint and left Rohini, who directly goes towards the shocked Raghav and holds his ear twisting it, making him shout coming out of his shock state.

" ahhh Maa sa.... leave me... ahh it's hurting..." he cried

"Let it hurt.... I will twist it more how dare you to make my daughter cry huh!! Don't you understand that it's her pregnancy carving and she is moody because of that... are you a little kid? You are going to be a father, but still, you don't even have a piece of knowledge in this empty head of yours. Also stop glaring at my daughter otherwise I will myself put knowledge in this empty head of yours idiot" She said the last line while pushing his head a little, he was glaring at Siya because she is doing little jumping and clapping enjoying him getting punished while giggling showing her teeth.

"See see maa sa.... see her she is enjoying, jumping and dancing while teasing Me" Raghav too complain like a kid pointing his finger on Siya who immediately stops her action and stands like a innocent child. Making Rohini twisted his ear again

"Tu sudhrega nahi na.... abhi tujhe bola ki tu ek baache ka baap banne jaa raha hai koi Bolega tujhe ke tu papa banne vala hai. Koi harkate hai teri.... Mai Bata rahi hu tujhe Raghav sudhrja aur baccho vaali harkate karna bandh Kar. Aur Himmat hai jo tune meri beti peh firse chillaya hai mai Teri aawaz gayab kardungi hamesha ke liye." She said threatening him at the end who put his hand on his neck, securing his voice

"Bilkul bhaisa You are not a kid anymore. I can't believe you are behaving like a kid when your kid is on the way" said Sameer from behind making Raghav shoot him a glare at him.

"Come here let me show you how much of kid I am" he said threatening him and Rohini again held his already red ear, making him shout

"Ahh.... Maa sa.... it's paining leave me.... aree leave me maatashree aapka hi Beta hun kyun atiyachaar Kar rahi hai...." he said, whining

"Aacha aur tu jo mere bete aur beti peh Kar raha hai voh kya hai huh??.... jab dekho tab bas Mendak ki Tarah badi badi aankhe nikal ta firta hai logo peh.... hamesha gussa karte rehne ka.... Pata nahi eesa kyun hai maine to meri pregnancy meh karele bhi nahi khaye the fir Pata nahi kaise iitne kadve Bete ko janam diya hai maine.

Siya beta tu Bata kya khana hai mai arrangements Kara deti hu." She said suddenly, turing softly from mahakaali

" Maa sa.... pav bhaji" she said with puppy eyes

"Bhaji pav!!.... ok come with me I myself will make it healthy for you to have it.... let's go in the kitchen of this palace. Aur app shree shree shree kadva karela maharaj jii agar muhurat hogaya ho to nahalo.... aur jab Nahana hojaye to zara Bata Dena tog kya hum baraat ki taiyaari shuru Kar sake. " she said sarcastically and went away, making Raghav Pout and Sameer and Siya brust out laughing and falling on each other

"Kadva beta hahaha.... Mendak... hahah.... oh omg.... Kadva karela maharaj ki Jai hoo" said Sameer teasing Raghav while laughing loudly

"Jai hoo..... Jai hoo" Siya, too, tailed along with him, laughing hard

They both suddenly feel cold air, making them stand straight and look in their front direction where Raghav is standing, shooting them a death glare

"Umm, Maa sa is calling me" saying siya ran out of the room

"Mai... Mai... han Veer bhaisa strictly ordered your presence right now." Saying sameer to run out of the room saving his dear life.

.........................................................................

Hii, editor here, just wanted to say that abortion is totally alright if you are not ready for it. If the conditions aren't good, if you aren't ready, if your partner is not ready and you know that you won't be able to give the child a good environment to grow in then abortion is an option and there is nothing to feel guilty about. You saved yourself and your child from a bad life.

You aren't killing a life you're saving it from suffering.