Chapter 17

I don't know if I gave Jaces' brother a name the last time he made an appearance, so his name is Jerome. Jer for short.

HENRY POV

BEING IN THE HOSPITAL SUCKS

It gets lonely at night, I wish I was in Jaces' arms, the way he would hold me against his chest, the warmth of his arms around me. I miss his kisses.

Being here in this hospital room alone, at night just makes me miss more the things I can't have and it sucks.

I miss Jace and the kids, I miss tucking them in at night. I even miss cooking. MY bed would feel so awesome right about now. The things I do for my unborn kids. I look down at my belly and caress it sweetly trying to form a connection with my kids.

"You guys better thank me later, Daddy loves you." I lay down so I could find a comfortable position to fall asleep in.

I have been in this hospital room for close to two months and it would soon be time for them to come out.

Robbie had to go home for a while he will back the week I plan to give birth to my babies. And he will be back with his husband.

Before he left though, he started acting strange, he no longer made a fuss whenever Jace came to visit, as a matter of fact, they actually became pretty close and talked without either of them wanting to kill the other. It was amazing to watch because they actually have a lot of things in common, something that they realized when they stopped trying to kill each other.

He even started telling me to consider staying over here and work things out with Jace. When he brought it up the first time, I was so gobsmacked, I mean a second ago he was literally breathing fire whenever Jaces' name was mentioned and now he wants me to get back together with him, I had to check for dirt in my ear to be sure I was not hearing things. People don't just become friendly with each other after very intense hatred and I started suspecting something was going on but I let it go once I realized how genuine the friendship was.

He started getting me to talk to Jace and give him another chance, started leaving us alone to 'talk', I kinda owe him because, I miss Jace but I cant just tell him that, so him putting us in that situation meant that I could be with him even when we don't to each other.

Jace, the love of my life, has done everything in his power to make me forgive him, and he is a great father to the kids, I can see that already. He knows what I want before I even ask for it. Every time I am craving, he is always there to act as errand boy and I am thankful for that. He has proven himself worthy of my forgiveness.

Since I have been in this hospital, Jace has been nothing but present and attentive. He never goes a day without coming to see me, and he brings the kids with him when they get back from school. They are always here and I cant thank them enough. He left his work to come keep me company, he is so confident that his company can run properly without him. He just comes with his laptop and works from here.

And one of the new habits he has formed is getting me flowers, I don't have any allergies so the choices are limitless. My hospital room is so full of life from those flowers and every time I look at them, they bring smiles to my face. The nurses that try to get his attention all look at me with envy because he never does anything to acknowledge them. he always professes his love in front of anyone and everyone that will listen. Even some male nurses are vying for his attention but he never pays them any mind.

He tells me he loves me everyday and asks for my forgiveness every single day that he comes here, how can I not love him. I love him with everything that is in me, but something keeps on holding me back.

The problem is there is nothing to forgive. I know what happened was a mistake, a mistake that could have been prevented, but still a mistake. I know that I should just let it all go and move on, but I can't. I'm not even angry anymore, haven't been angry about it for a long time. I am scared. Scared of what would happen if I let myself be with him again. I am scared that I would end up heart broken again. God knows if anything like this happens again, I don't know what I would do to myself, I know I would never recover.

The fact that I am alive today despite that fact that I am suicidal, is a miracle. Most days I wake up and its like the whole world is grey and everyone will be better off without me. The thoughts that run through my head are crippling, they are like fire and most times I let them consume me.

Since I met Jace and his wonderful family, there was this light and brightness everywhere and the light wouldn't go away. The thoughts weren't that bad anymore. I felt like I could breathe again. If I loose them for good, I will have lost the only things in this world that make my life and the torture I go through everyday on the inside worth it all. I was broken into tiny pieces and they fixed me, the next time I'm not so sure.

Those were my last thoughts before I fell into a deep slumber.

*****

I awoke to voices, people were in my room and they were whispering. I open my eyes to look at who is talking.

"Hey Daddy, when will you and Henry get married?" Alfie said, if I was a lot more awake I would have reacted a lot more shocked but I just looked at Jace who choked on his coffee at the question. They both didn't know that I was awake and listening to them, that's a good thing because I want to know where this conversation is going.

"Isn't that what happens when two people love each other, they get married? I want to start calling him Papa." Aww my baby boy. I love you too and I wan to be your Papa.

"Well Junior, the thing is, well, can you keep a secret bud? I want to show you something but you have to promise to keep it a secret." Alfie nods his head rapidly.

"You do know what it means to keep a secret right Junior?" Alfie shakes his head no. Fitting as he has never had to keep a secret before. Jace just laughs at his eager little soldier.

"Well when you keep a secret, it means that you don't tell anybody what I tell you or show them what I show you. It has to be between the two of us and no matter what don't tell Honey. When somebody tells you a secret, it means that they are trusting you not to be a blabber mouth, okay son."

"Alright I get it." Alfie tell his Dad, impatient to know what this secret is. I am not going to lie I wanna know too but he seems hell bent on me not knowing. Maybe I should interrupt this before I hear what I am not supposed to hear. But at the same time I am so curious. Before I could contemplate what to do, Jace brings out a small black box from his pocket, holding it like it holds the key to man kind.He opens it.

"I am going to propose to Henry, so that he could marry me. I love him so much and to be without him is not a possibility I would like to think of. I just need to get him to trust me again."

"So if you give him this ring, you guys can get married, and then I get to have two Daddies? AWESOME." He couldn't stop his excitement from shining through.

I couldn't stop the tears from pouring out of my eyes. I held back a sob and made a show of turning the other side to hide the onslaught of tears. I try so hard to keep from screaming out. I heard scrambling going on behind me. I guess they're trying to hide it from me.

What I wouldn't give to be called Mr Henry Cormack. How I love my little family, being away from them like this is just bringing pain to every one involved including the kids. I don't care anymore, love is about taking risks right? I wanna take that risk.

I wanna be with my family again. Nothing is ever going to tear us apart, not even his psycho ex-wife.

*****

It was lunch time and I was feeding the kids while Jace was multitasking, between working on his laptop and watching us with a smile on his face, I'd say he was doing a pretty good job.

"Honey, are we going to have a baby brother and a baby sister or only baby brothers, or only baby sisters?" Alfie asks while chewing on a piece of chicken. I pause in putting rice in Anni's mouth, we ordered variety, but majority is Chinese.

"Well baby, I want it to be a surprise, but when they come out. you will be the first to know.

"I want them to be boy and girl, like Anni and I, then we would be big brother and sister to little brother and sister." The wishes of little children with absolutely no worries what so ever.

"Well kids we don't get to wish for a particular gender, we just want them to come out healthy." the kids nod and keep on eating. While Jace and I catch each others eyes and hold. The heat that passes between us is cackling and can is actually sparking something between us if these kids weren't here. I'm pretty sure if theses kids were not here I would have jumped him so I am thankful for the buffer.

It was like we wanted to see who would be the first to look away, like come on I am a horny pregnant man in the presence of the hottest man on the planet, I don't think I can help any of the things that are going through my mind.

A knock at the door brought us out of our stare down. I look up and a gasp escapes from my mouth. Its Jerome, a smile escapes from my mouth at the sight in front of me.

"Hey people, how is everyone doing this fine afternoon." He says with a smile on his face. Jerome and I have become close since we met the last time. Although he is not usually around as he travels a lot due to his work, but he makes it a point to call when he can. He hasn't been in the country for a long time so he hasn't come to see me in the hospital. I would assume he just got back.

"JEROME!!" excitement flowing through my voice. I want to get up to hug him but Jace comes to my side immediately.

"Hey, take it easy, bedrest remember." ugh.

Instead Jerome comes over to hug me.

"I am so happy to see you little man." I pout at him and tears start coming out from my eyes, hormones.

"Are you calling me short?" I scream at Jeremy and he has a shocked look on his face. One minute I was sad and crying and the next I was angry, so angry, I want to smash something.

"Uh-oh, you shouldn't have said that Uncle Jeremy." Alfie said. Such a wise little boy.

Jerome started backing away slowly at the angry look in my while Jace was trying everything he could to calm me down and when it didn't work he bundled me up in his arms and all it took was his warm arms around me and his musky scent and bow was I calm. I didn't even want to get out of his arms. I felt so drained, I could fall asleep.

I leave Jaces' arms slowly, trying to savour it, then I glanced at Jerome and smiled bashfully at him.

"Try to avoid saying anything that would make him cry or angry, you know what, just don't say anything. At this point, he is unpredictable." Jace said to a freaked out Jerome.

"Oh and hey brother. How was your flight back." Jerome takes a little while to respond. Clearly still freaked out by my outburst.

"Sorry Jerome, apparently hormones got me all wonky." Jerome relaxes a little bit and moves close to me.

"Its no problem. I heard pregnant women were crazy, I just didn't know how crazy."

"Dude don't call him crazy." Jace said in a warning voice.

"Hi Uncle Jerome, now that that's over, what did you get for us when coming back from Japan." Jer goes down on his knees to talk to talk to Alfie.

"Well Monkey, I got you lots of things, but I couldn't bring them all to the hospital now could I? But don't worry, as soon as we get home, I'm gonna give you and your brother and sister the goodies." Alfie smiles and hugs Jerome.

"Yey, I hope you got me a Nintendo switch, that would be so cool." Jerome looks up at me looking so lost. He closes Alfie's ear.

"TF is a Nintendo switch?" oooooh he is in for it now. I couldn't help but laugh at the helpless look on his face. It felt so satisfying.

"I'm just as lost as you are." Jace says shrugging. He has refused to leave my side since the major freak out earlier.

"Jace, I'm hungry again." My stomach growls solidifying my point.

"What do want to eat this time." I squint at him and I feel my temper rise again.

"Are you mocking me Jace?" I ask menacingly. I can see the sweat that escapes his eyebrow.

"You just had to make him mad." Jace gives Jer a look that says shut the fuck up or I will knock you out.

"No babe I am just asking what you want to eat, I will literally get you anything you want, just name it."

"You better. Get me Pizza with pineapple, tell them to add carrots, and the spiciest jalapenos, raisins and sausage. Oh and some peanut butter and mayonnaise. And also get me some grape juice." Everyone is looking at me like I grew a horn.

"What? Did I stutter?"

"No baby, one pizza coming right up. Anything else." I nod

"Make it two."

Damn what a rollercoaster ride, am I right. And my baby is on fire.

Anyway, I hope you like it.

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