Chapter 521 - If I am not there anymore

After dinner, Davi and Sei accompanied little Shin to his room. The little guy didn’t need to be escorted like that but he had already heard that his mother was leaving tomorrow. He deduced that his parents were following him because they were going to have a talk.

Once they were inside, Little Shin’s expectation was proven true.

"Little Shin, mommy’s leaving for work tomorrow," Davi told the little guy as she hugged him while Sei ruffled the boy’s hair as he spoke.

"Your mom is leaving because she has to find a cure for your uncle." Sei explained. "Don’t worry, we’ll visit her there often."

Upon hearing his father’s words, little Shin moved his little hand and gently patted his mother’s back instead.

"It’s okay mommy, I understand. I am going to miss you a lot but I can always call you, right?"

"Of course, honey."

"Dad and I can call you every day?"

"Yep."

"That’s great then. I can handle it without you, mom, as long as I can speak with you. But..." he trailed off.

Davi glanced at Sei before she looked at her son, now a little worried because her little man seemed to have a problem. "But?"

"I don’t think daddy could handle your absence mommy."

Davi: ". . ."

Sei: ". . ."

Little Shin: "Mommy, you don’t know this but daddy always looked really bad every time you travel abroad even for two days."

Davi was speechless as she turned and looked at her husband, while Sei felt betrayed by his own son.

"Little Shin, that’s because I’m worried. This time, my wife’s going to a secured place, so I can definitely handle it." Sei immediately tried to redeem himself.

"Daddy, are you sure? Based on my observation, your worry for mom increased about 50% lately."

"That’s... because your mom is pregnant."

The little guy faced his mother again. He knew that his mother is pregnant so he was also worried but he also knew that she had to go, for his uncle’s sake. He once witnessed his uncle Zaki while he was in pain and he felt really worried. He too, wanted his uncle’s illness cured.

"Mom, the baby will be alright, right?" He asked, glancing at his mother’s stomach even if there was still no baby bump.

"Of course, honey. Mommy will never let anything harm the baby, I promise you that."

With Davi’s reassurance, little Shin sighed and hugged his mother again. "Don’t worry mom, I will watch daddy while you’re away."

"Aww, my baby’s so responsible. Always remind him not to work too late, okay?"

"Mm. I will make sure to remind him."

After tucking the little guy into bed, the couple then left his room. Davi was chuckling as she looked at her husband.

"Our son is so cute... he’s worried about his dad." She grinned at her husband and Sei rubbed the back of his neck with his hand before he held her hand.

The moment they were inside the room, Sei hugged his wife from behind.

"I wish I have wings so I could visit you there every night... unnoticed." He whispered as he kissed the skin at the back of her neck, causing Davi to immediately flushed red. He’s spouting cheesy lines so straightforwardly again...

"Darling..."

Before Davi could speak, the man captured her lips. "I want to make love to you all night." He mumbled against her lips and Davi’s eyes could only open wide.

...

Meanwhile, in the other room, Zaki and Hinari were already lying on the bed.

They were silent as they cuddled the way they always did. Hinari’s head was on his chest and Zaki’s arms were wrapped around her.

They stayed quietly like that for nearly thirty minutes before Zaki broke the silence.

"Hinari..." he called out softly but the girl still didn’t speak for a while.

"Zaki... I want a child." She suddenly said. This was the first time Hinari told him about this. The couple had a happy married life since their wedding. Their love was growing even deeper as time went by but so did their fears.

Hinari tried to shrug her fears, always telling herself to focus on being positive and just love Zaki day by day. However, it wasn’t that easy at all.

When Zaki started to constantly suffer from headaches, Hinari noticed that Zaki seemed to be subtly avoiding getting her pregnant. She was devastated when she noticed it but Hinari couldn’t blame Zaki. She knew that he was suffering, physically, and mentally. Hinari was afraid to speak her mind because she was scared that it would only worsen things. She didn’t want to give him more things to think about and just wanted him to be happy with her.

However, Hinari felt uneasy. She kept on thinking about the reasons why Zaki didn’t want to give her a child. Was he already giving up the possibility that he could be cured? Was it because he was afraid that she will end up raising their child alone?

Zaki remained quiet, but his grip on her tightened slightly.

Hinari pulled away from his embrace and put her hands on his pillow with his face between them.

Her eyes glimmered with overflowing emotions as her face hovered over his.

"My love. You heard me, right? I want a child." She told him again.

Zaki’s eyes visibly welled a little. He was now obviously much more emotional than her. She could see his struggle and pain and Hinari wished she has the power to erase every uncertainty in his heart. She knew that this was never easy for him.

"I’m sorry..." was all he said as he pulled her and buried her in his embrace. But Hinari pulled away again, as she too began to tear up.

"Zaki... are you... are you already giving up?" Hinari’s voice cracked.

Zaki rose and embraced her again, gently patting her back. "I’m sorry... I just... I just..."

"You just what? You are afraid that you will die and leave me raising our child alone?!" Hinari burst out. She understood why he’s afraid but... she knew he was the one struggling the most and he was thinking about her. But she didn’t like this. She didn’t like him being like this.

"I’m sorry. I know I’m giving you heartaches. I know I promised you that I will never give up but..." he tugged his hair with his one hand as he looked down. "But, we both know I’m hopeless. I could feel my body changing. Davi’s doing her best but I am hopeless to begin with. If you... get pregnant... and give birth... who would... who would..." Zaki’s tear fell on the blanket. "Who would stay beside you if I am not there anymore?"

For the first time since that day they were both in tears in the courtyard, days before their wedding months ago, Zaki cried in front of Hinari.