What have you done?

TW: MURDERING, GORE, BLOOD, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

- Ethans POV -

I pulled the trigger. I closed my eyes and held my breath in, waiting for the loud gunshot and-

Nothing.

Nothing was to be heard.

No shot, no breathing, no screaming, no shuffling.

Nothing...

I opened my eyes and stared into Kaizer's eyes. He looked at me with an expression that couldn't be described with words.

I swallowed thickly and saw his left arm rise. Two shots were fired and I flinched by each and one of them.

I heard something heavy drop on my right and I looked away from Kaizer. My mouth opened, but nothing came out. Tears wet my cheeks as blood pooled on the floor. I looked in the now-dead Lucian eyes. His once-filled-with-life eyes were empty. Cold. A shiver ran down my spine as his once white hair turned red.

I looked behind him and saw Thobias. Blood gushed down between his eyes and his eyes turned red as blood gushed down. The bullet was exactly planted right between his eyes. I stared in horror.

"The gun of the driver wasn't loaded." Kaizer said in disappointment but I couldn't hear him over the ringing in my head. I had a hard time breathing and thinking straight.

Kaizer had shot them while staring right into my eyes. I heard him sigh and I turned to look at him again.

He took a step closer and I a step backwards.

"I told you to give me the gun, Eth." He said calmly. He sighed again, as he looked at me with disappointment.

"W-What have you done?" My voice cracked as I stared back at Lucian and Thobias' bodies. I couldn't even describe what sort of pain I was feeling. My heart clenched and tears filled my vision as I fought hard to not break down.

I lifted my gun again and pulled the trigger. Kaizer just stared at me in disappointment again. I couldn't stop but pull and pull and pull, wishing a bullet would come out. Kaizer walked up to me and put a hand on the gun, gently pushing it down.

"You would really kill me? After.. everything?"

I dropped the gun and flinched away from him. His expression had turned from disappointment into sadness.

"And now you're scared of me." He mumbled quietly.

I saw his bottom lip tremble and a glaze in his eyes.

"Ethan.." He said in a broken voice as he held his arms out.

I stared at Lucian once again before I walked forward slowly. I saw a glistening of hope in his eyes, and when he was in a moment of weakness, I ran.

I ran and I didn't stop.

I looked behind me once and I saw Kaizer just standing there. He was crying and his shoulders were slumped.

It was the 10 year old Kaizer who finally opened up to me about how horrible he got treated. The Kaizer who couldn't even talk, only sob and cry. The Kaizer that laid in my arms, crying for hours.

My Kaizer.

But this monster wasn't my Kaizer.

I turned my head back and kept running. Luckily, I saw in the distance a car. I stood on the road and flailed my arms around wildly. The car came to a stop in front of me and I asked them if I could hitchhike. Luckily, they accepted and I got in. I stared at the warehouse as we slowly rode away.

——↟❣°°❦°°❣↟——

The plan with the airplane could now be forgotten since... yeah, you get it.

The kind person dropped me off at a motel, far away from Kaizer. I thanked them and offered them money, but they smiled and declined. I went inside and got a room. The moment I entered the door, I fell to my knees.

Not a single sound could be heard, apart from my heavy breathing.

Not a single tear dared to fall down my eyes.

I was all alone.

Again.

I remembered Lucian's lifeless eyes. His dark red hair. Blood dripping down his lips. Hell, I think I even saw some brain parts. He was dead. My only way out of this hellhole is gone.

Should I just give up?

I slowly got up from my knees and walked to the bathroom. I stared in the mirror for a good 10 minutes, just trying to comprehend what the fuck happened.

I stared into my eyes, but all I could see was Lucian. I looked behind me and he was standing there, smiling.

He really did look like an angel.

I lifted my hands and looked at them. They were normal, but when I looked at them in the mirror, they were covered in blood.

They were covered in blood from the people who died because of me.

My mother was killed by me.

Her boyfriend was killed because of me.

Shelly was killed because she liked me.

Lucian was killed because he tried to protect me.

Thobias doesn't even deserve to be on this list.

I don't know how many more people died because of me, but I don't think I want to know. As I thought about my past and childhood, I remembered old friends that would randomly disappear.

Lucian did tell me that the monster had killed many times before.

The only question I have is...

How much blood do I have on my hands? How many people had to go down because of me?

I couldn't take it anymore and I ran to the toilet. I threw up and sobbed. I was an utterly mess.

There was one thing that I knew I needed to do.

I had to end this.

If I can't kill the monster,

I just have to kill his motivation.

——↟❣°°❦°°❣↟——

I stood on the bridge railing, staring down at the water crashing against the pillars. It was 5.12 pm, 17th of january.

Am I really about to do this?

I mean, I have to.

I sighed and closed my eyes. I tried to relax a little as the cold air rushed past me.

"Lucian... I'm sorry that your death was in vain. I should've done this earlier." I mumbled quietly.

I thought deeply about all the people who had died because of me. Every single conversation rushed through my mind. Every single interaction. I thought about what would probably be their last words. I thought about every single emotion they must have felt before they died.

Fear.

Just like I am feeling right now.

- Kaizers POV -

I stared at the boy on the bridge, standing exactly where I had stood a few years ago.

I get him. I get everything he must be feeling.

He feels forced, like there is no way out.

And it's all because of me.

Because I'm such a fuck-up.

I'm such a monster.

A killer.

Selfish.

I turned into the person I've always told myself I would never be.

I wish I had jumped that night. I really wished that Thobias would never save me. I wished that my death would bring Ethan and Thobias closer. I wished I never showed Thobias the darkness.

I wished I could've made the one thing I wanted happy.

And the only way he would be happy, is if I'm gone.

So I will be, Ethan.

I would do anything for you.

I walked up to him and pulled him off the railing. He fell on the ground. His cute little face was turned into a confused frown, but quickly turned to fear when he saw me. I leaned down snd caressed his cheek. I stared deep into his eyes before I pushed my lips against his. He was shocked for a few moments, and when I pulled away, he looked disgusted. I smiled sadly and turned away from him. I jumped on the railing and looked down.

"I love you, sweetheart." I said as a tear fell down my eye.

I jumped.

The air rushed past my ears as I felt the wind carrying me down. I saw Ethan looking over the railings and screaming my name. I heard his cries and smiled. This is how it's supposed to be.