Psycho Beasts: Chapter 17

Never meet your heroes.

Molly smiled sweetly as she chanted above me, “Two hundred.”

My noodle arms trembled, and I collapsed face first.

After five minutes of struggling to lift my body upward, it was clear that I couldn’t do another pushup, no matter how hard I tried.

The music pounding through the hazy room screeched something about death and pain. Extremely relatable.

Molly sighed heavily. “You can do the baby version on your knees.”

“You’re my angel.” I stared up at her with adoration, and she stared down at me with a mix of pity and boredom.

She was a kind queen.

My gratitude didn’t last long.

Who knew that push-ups on your knees became ridiculously hard after two hundred reps? Upsetting.

“Four hundred and two,” Molly counted for me as she continued to hoist her three-hundred-pound weights like they were nothing.

“Is there another version I can do now?” I gasped as I twitched my chest down and up, boobs barely moving an inch off the mat.

Molly’s voice sounded far away as a wind-tunnel sensation whistled in my ears. “Sure, lie flat on the mat and don’t move.”

Instantly, I flopped down and closed my eyes, heaving with relief as oxygen filled my starved lungs.

It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize the beautiful tinkling sound was Molly chuckling.

She wasn’t laughing with me—I was preoccupied drowning in saliva and imitating a log—so that meant she was laughing at me.

Molly had been joking.

Moaning like a dying cow, I struggled back onto my knees, and a single tear tracked down my face.

I waited for the derogatory comment about how pathetic and weak I was as I struggled to plant my hands in front of me.

Was it possible to be born without pectoral muscles? Because I swore to the sun god that there was nothing but bone beneath my small boobs.

Impressive thighs squatted close to my head, and Molly said quietly, “Half the gym is staring at you right now, and as a female alpha, you’re always going to be scrutinized. Show them who you are.”

Fiery indignation swept through me, and I nodded.

Also, another tear streaked down my cheek because supportive women always made me emotional.

She continued, “Plus, the four men you walked in with are glaring at me like you’re their fated mate and they want to murder me for hurting you. Show them you’re capable.”

I shook my head. “They don’t care about me. Trust me, they hate me because I didn’t form a pack with them. They’ve already moved on. Also, what’s a fated mate?”

Molly squinted like she was surprised I didn’t know.

“In the old days, when the moon goddess walked among us, packs were made of predestined mates. But she left this realm. Rumor has it because of a war, and there hasn’t been a fated mate since.”

A soft hand patted my head comfortingly.

“Don’t worry about that, sugar. If mates are fated, it’s obvious among all members when they bond. Since they’re already a pack, you definitely aren’t fated to them. The bond wouldn’t let them complete it without you.”

The small kindle of hope in my chest extinguished with a sizzle.

Molly smiled kindly. “Still doesn’t mean they don’t want you. Remember, hate is obsession, and obsession is the purest form of love. You never move on, and it festers within you until it’s all you know and all you can focus on. It becomes your only hope. But sometimes, it’s not enough, and everything falls apart around you.”

I was still gasping on the floor.

Something in her tone was off, and I tilted my head up to look into her kind brown eyes.

Someone had hurt her.

“Wow,” I said. “If you’re into me, you can just say that.”

A loud laugh burst from the larger woman, and she slammed her hand across my back.

I grimaced and pretended she hadn’t just cracked three of my ribs and punctured a lung.

“Oh, you’re definitely not my type.” She placed her hands on her knees and laughed until I was thoroughly offended.

I mean, I didn’t think Molly was actually into me, didn’t even know if she was into women, but she just didn’t have to be so rude about it.

“You know, some people think I’m a catch,” I grumbled after we passed the five-minute mark of Molly gasping for air.

My words caused her to double over in a fresh round of chuckling.

I thought about it and realized I couldn’t remember if anyone had ever told me I was pretty.

Cobra had always said he wanted to own me. Ascher called me a princess (slightly weird; I always assumed he had some royalty fetish). Jax called me “little alpha,” and Xerxes referred to me as an alpha.

Suddenly, it seemed super important that no one ever told me I was pretty.

Was I hideous? Was that part of why it was so easy for all the men to stop fighting for me?

I’d just been a novelty to them, and now that I wasn’t unique, they were over it.

Also, why was I acting like a vain, prissy bitch when I was literally in the middle of Mafia training?

I couldn’t help but glance over to the other fighting ring, where Clarissa was doing push-ups. She was glistening like a goddess.

Meanwhile, my hands kept slipping because I was lying in a puddle of stinky sweat. Every time I sniffed myself, I gagged from the rancid stench.

I’d forgotten deodorant.

In contrast, Clarissa probably smelled like flowers and lemon. She was tall, with muscles, not a hair out of place, and looked like the perfect complement to the massive athletic builds of the men.

Finally, Molly stopped having a heart attack over the idea of finding me attractive and said, “You know, I’m aware that you’ve been lying there resting and not doing your push-ups.”

Damn it.

I’d hoped she wouldn’t notice.

A serious expression contorted her face into something that was inspirationally terrifying. “You know, if you work with me, I promise I’ll make you as strong, if not more so, than that girl you’re glaring at.”

Who was going to tell her I was half-fae and likely not going to change much?

No. I mentally slapped myself.

I was being a self-deprecating little bitch.

If anyone was going to help me achieve my best self, it was the absolute goddess of a woman that was Molly.

“Deal.” I reached out and shook her hand.

Molly smirked and flexed her biceps. “Now you’re going to do exactly as I say.”

I grinned back conspiratorially.

Sadly, and disappointingly, exactly what she said to do was three hundred more push-ups.

Under the watchful gaze of my hero, I twitched like there was no tomorrow, peeing my pants slightly from sheer exhaustion, until I hit the three-hundredth rep and collapsed.

Pain radiated through every muscle in my body and the light faded from my eyes as I entered the afterworld of the sun god.

“Who turned off the lights?” someone yelled, and the dim lighting flicked back on.

I closed my eyes, depressed that death had been so close yet was apparently still so far.

“Aaah.” I jerked upright and screamed as someone stabbed my arm and tried to sever it from my body.

“Relax,” Molly said as she finished depositing a needle of glowing blue liquid into my arm. “It’s an enchanted muscle-growth developer. It works with your body to help your muscles replenish and get stronger.”

She chuckled again. “You didn’t think you were going to get stronger without help, did you?”

“Where did you get a needle?”

What was it with this realm and injecting people against their will?

Molly smiled as she pulled out another needle from her book bag next to the fighting ring and stabbed herself in the arm. “How do you think I got this strong?”

I narrowed my eyes. “Does it have any side effects?”

“Who cares? You’re an immortal alpha,” Molly said with confusion.

With that attitude, I could see why this realm had a cigarette problem. Still, I couldn’t fault her logic.

“Can I get a second one?” I asked.

She shrugged, grabbed another needle, and stabbed me in the other arm.

And thus began my extreme body transformation from scrawny wimp to absolute tank of a woman.

A few hours later, torture for the day was finally over.

“I think my biceps are getting bigger,” I said to Jax as I flexed both arms in one of the large mirrors that lined the walls of the fight club.

We’d finished training aka just doing an un-sun-godly number of push-ups, jumping jacks, and planks. Then Molly had sent me back to stretch with the other trainees for a cooldown.

Z sat in front of us, “supervising us” with a gun in his hand.

Did they think the other alphas would murder us if they left us on our own?

Concerning.

The entire gym had an edge of violence to it.

Like so many alphas together in one space, was a recipe for disaster.

You couldn’t miss the handguns tucked into everyone’s waistbands, like they couldn’t be parted from their weapons while they worked out.

Why did they need so many weapons?

It freaked me out.

It felt like everyone in the gym was just waiting for the chance to shed their civility and shoot people.

“Your arm looks smaller,” Cobra sneered as he stretched.

Clarissa giggled aggressively beside him, like what he’d said was funny and not rude.

The dark-haired beauty was sitting between Ascher and Cobra and kept stretching into their personal space.

My stomach twisted with annoyance.

I flexed harder. “Molly said she’s going to make me stronger, and she’s amazing. I’m already seeing an improvement.”

Jax smiled at me as I snarled and flexed both arms lower while trying to pop my back to get a better angle.

“I don’t think she’s a miracle worker,” Clarissa said slyly. Her brother and Z laughed openly.

The noise grated on my nerves.

A strange glint entered Xerxes’s eyes, and he straightened his back, his lips twitching like he was trying not to join in.

Once again, the scent of cinnamon was stronger than usual and wafted around him in a heady cloud.

Cobra tilted his head toward Clarissa like he was intrigued. Even Ascher and Jax gave her their attention.

I deflated and plopped down to stretch my legs.

Obviously I didn’t think I’d had a dramatic transformation, but I swore all the push-ups and whatever random drug Molly had stabbed me with had improved my muscles somewhat.

I could see more definition.

Maybe I was going crazy.

My chest burned with embarrassment.

A lot of people had been laughing at me recently, and there was only so much a girl could take.

I positioned myself away from everyone else and focused on touching my toes. They’d clearly found their replacement for me.

Who was going to tell her they couldn’t bond with a female alpha because they needed a female omega?

The petty thought made my stomach hurt worse. It didn’t mean they couldn’t have sex with her, or still have a crush on her. There was always going to be some perfect, sweet omega female who completed their pack.

Fully in a depressive episode, I sullenly took one of the small books that Z handed out to each of us.

The title read “Mafia Laws,” and I grimaced at how dense it was.

Unless it had been severely miss-marketed, it wasn’t a romance book with simpering females and gallant men who saved the day. Those were the type of books I preferred to read.

Z said, “Study this and learn the rules. You will have a test in three days, and you can’t fight until you pass.”

“What happens if you don’t pass?” I asked as I flipped through and winced at the ridiculously small font.

“Don’t fail,” Z replied automatically.

“But say, hypothetically, that you failed. What would happen?”

Z fingered the barrel of the gun, and his expression didn’t change. But the scent of burning leaves spiked as he stepped closer to me.

His voice dropped an octave. “Don’t fail.”

“But if you did…” I pursed my lips and tried to look innocent.

Z’s nostrils flared, and his muscles seemed to expand as he took another threatening step toward me.

“Sadie, shut the fuck up,” Xerxes snapped.

His outburst was even more shocking because he’d barely spoken to anyone all day.

My stomach twisted tighter, and my cheeks burned.

Z kept staring at me.

“She’s being fucking annoying. Ignore her,” Cobra sneered, and Z shifted his attention toward the other alphas.

He grinned at Cobra as they shared a toxic-masculinity moment.

I mumbled under my breath about how it was confusing to make us take a test and not tell us the consequences.

“Shut up, Sadie,” Jax said quietly as he leaned closer to me.

Immediate tears swelled in my eyes. Everyone was a rude pig, but not Jax—that was too far.

“Please,” he whispered, and his voice cracked.

My eyes dried as I reminded myself that I was a bad bitch, and I focused on my stretching.

If I weren’t conserving the numb for the fight marathon that was apparently happening in a week, I would have switched it on.

For some fucking reason, I was feeling unnaturally emotional about everything, and it sucked.

What would Molly do?

I straightened my shoulders and focused on a speck of dust on the ground, keeping my head high and eyes averted from the men.

When it was time to leave for the day, thank the moon goddess—I’d been worried they’d keep us overnight in some type of dungeon—I jumped away when Ascher tried to lead me out by my lower back, and he had the gall to growl softly in displeasure.

Apparently, all the men were in a pissy mood, because Cobra slammed the car door like he was trying to rip it off its hinges, and no one said a word the entire way back.

At the mansion, Walter sensed our sour dispositions and quietly announced dinner would be sent to everyone’s room.

“I’m sure they’d all love to have dinner together. Just bring mine to my room,” I snarled as the old man looked warily back and forth among all of us.

A hiss shook through Cobra’s throat. “You don’t get to be the victim here.”

He rounded on me like he wanted to fight.

I saw red. “Oh, I’m just stating facts. Go back to Clarissa and have fun laughing at me. Didn’t take long for you to show your true colors.”

“True colors, alpha?” Xerxes said and laughed. “You want to talk about true colors?”

He moved quickly past Cobra and lunged at me. The sudden movement surprised me.

My body was sweaty and exhausted from training for hours, and I stumbled backward on shaky legs.

My head slammed against the hallway wall.

The vitriol thrown my way and pain radiating from my skull made me flinch violently.

For a split second, the sharp pain mixed with my sudden fear, brought back memories of someone else lunging at me with a belt.

A loud roar burst through Jax’s chest.

The aggressive sound made me tremble harder, and I closed my eyes while shaking my head, desperate to throw off the pain and orient myself.

Moon goddess, I hadn’t felt so off-balance since I’d been in the shifter realm.

So fucking emotional.

I blamed the torture.

I slowly opened my eyes. Cobra’s jeweled cheek was inches away, his eyes bright with worry.

“Princess,” Ascher pleaded and stepped up next to him.

“I didn’t mean…” Xerxes trailed off in a shaky voice as he suddenly ran down the hall.

There was a loud crash within his room, like he’d thrown something heavy.

A trail of cinnamon lingered in the hall.

Jax’s chest kept rumbling with a roar, and the delicious scents of pine, frost, chestnuts, and lingering cinnamon made my mouth water.

It was all too much.

“No, you don’t get to be mean bastards, then nice. You’ve shown where you stand and how you view me, so don’t act otherwise.” I shoved past the men and ran the other way down the hall toward my room.

Someone said my name, but I didn’t dare look back.

I locked the bedroom door behind me and bent over onto my knees, hyperventilating.

There were four of them and only one of me, and it was overwhelming.

When they were all nice to me, it was amazing.

They were four rocks who produced an overwhelming sensation of comfort and safety.

But when they were mean, it was too fucking much.

Four against one, it was crushing odds.

My heart was being trampled.

The shadow snake sent me visions of love and support, and I cherished its niceness.

After a long, pathetic moment of gasping, I shoved my panic back into the dark recess of my brain and straightened.

Four teenage girls stood in front of me with serious expressions on their faces.

“Aran’s doing drugs.” Lucinda pointed to the bed.

Because that was what my life needed right now…another crisis.