CH 20

Chapter 20: Lust Is Really Difficult To Understand.

“I want a kiss. Kiss me….” Qin Yicang then stretched out his finger and lightly pressed it on Lin Baihu’s lips: “Here.”

“Alright.” Lin Baihu agreed without hesitation.

At this, Qin Yicang froze for a moment, but then he laughed out loud. As he leaned back against the pillar of the pavilion, he took the wine bottle and tilted his head to drink the wine, which poured on his lapel, leaving behind a dark stain.

Lin Baihu’s eyes flashed with a trace of incomprehension, but he returned to his indifferent self right away: “I’ve promised you, so why are you so unhappy?”

Qin Yicang put down the wine bottle, wiped his mouth, and laughed mockingly: “Yes, why? I know that you don’t possess the seven emotions and six desires1, and that you only know about carrying your destiny on your shoulders. So why should I be unhappy? Forget it, I’ll investigate him for you. Don’t worry about it.”

After saying that, Qin Yicang began to sing out loud, slightly drunk.

He was singing about: ‘I don’t know what I want from you after meeting you. I don’t know how to feel when I think about you. I don’t know what I’m worrying about when I’m drunk’.

Lin Baihu never left, he just sat aside listening to Qin Yicang singing. Once he finished singing, Lin Baihu said expressionlessly: “Didn’t you ask for a reward for helping me?”

Qin Yicang was so drunk that he was a little confused: “What?”

“The kiss.”

Qin Yicang replied: “I don’t want it. You don’t understand what it means, so I don’t want it. But you have to remember that you owe me this favor. Maybe one day, when you owe me enough, you will understand what it means to me to kiss you.”

Lin Baihu thought for a moment and then said: “I’m sorry.”

Qin Yicang laughed in spite of himself: “Why are you apologizing all of a sudden?”

Lin Baihu: “I’ve never understood emotions.”

Qin Yicang inclined his head and said: “Go now.”

Lin Baihu didn’t say anything else, he just got up and walked away. As the shadow came into contact with his slanted sleeves, the two men became farther and farther away.

Suddenly, Qin Yicang turned his head and staggered towards Lin Baihu: “Wait, wait! I’d better kiss you. Fuck, I have to be stupid to not kiss you right now. After all, it’s rare for you to ask me for something, so I better take advantage of it! Otherwise, I’ll just be a fool!!”

Lin Baihu: “…..”

Lin Baihu thought: ‘Lust is really difficult to understand.’

…

On the same night, when the stars were still sparse, in the Western Courtyard of the Prince’s Residence.

Xu Li had a nightmare. She was dreaming about when she was young, about the time when her father would get drunk and beat her brother with a wooden stick. At that time, Xu Run would get beaten up so hard that he would end up covered in blood, as he laid on the ground without being able to move, while her mother held her in her arms, begging for mercy. Her father would then scold her mother, scold her for being old and incompetent in raising her son. Then, he would begin to punch and kick her mother without mercy.

Xu Li cried out, but when she looked up, the scene around her turned into a rainy night. At that time, her stepmother dragged her to a sedan chair, when she was only 12 years old. Her father wanted her to marry the old butcher, who also happened to kill his previous wife in the City. At that time, Xu Run came to stop their stepmother, but he was slapped and beaten on the ground by her father.

Xu Li woke up from the dream in a cold sweat.

Xu Run was on guard, holding his head with one hand, and sleeping lightly. When he heard a sound, he woke up immediately.

“Ge.” Xu Li got up, with her voice trembling.

Xu Run hurriedly sat beside her. He was used to wearing linen clothes all the time, but since he had to wear the Prince’s royal clothes, and because he wasn’t used to it, he stumbled.

“Did you have a nightmare again?” Xu Run stroked her hair tenderly.

Xu Li nodded her head and took several deep breaths.

“Don’t be afraid.” Xu Run soothed her. “It’s all in the past. I swear, you’ll never see those two again.”

Xu Run got up and walked to the table to pick up the porcelain pot to pour some water for Xu Li.

His hands, who once held a sword to stab his biological father on the chest without hesitation, were now carefully carrying a bowl to gently and meticulously give his younger sister some water to drink.

After Xu Li drank enough and eased the shock of the nightmares, she asked Xu Run in a low voice: “Ge, how can we live in such a good Courtyard, ah? When I look at the medicines I take every day, I can see that they’re expensive. We…. didn’t we not have any money?”

Xu Li didn’t know about Xu Run taking away Qi Ci’s mother’s belongings. She was weak and unconscious on their way to the Capital, and once she woke up, she was already living in a different Courtyard.

Xu Run paused and stroked his sister’s hair: “Qi Ci lent us some money.”

Xu Li pulled Xu Run’s sleeve and said: “Ge, I miss Qi Ci Gege so much. Let’s ask him to come live together with us in the Capital. He must have never lived in a place as pretty as this.”

Xu Run felt like something was stuck in his throat for a while before he could reply: “Yes, I’ve already sent someone to the Northern border to look for him.”

Xu Li felt relieved once she heard that, so she picked up the quilt and went back to dreaming. Xu Run looked at the bright moon outside the window, with his hands clenched into fists, exerting so much force that his nails scratched his palms, drawing out some blood.