Chapter 4

The mall was quieter now, the lunchtime rush long over. The dimming light outside suggested the afternoon was slipping away, but I felt more drained than ever, like the weight of the day had settled into my bones.

The rest of my brothers were back to their usual selves, bantering about the latest games and movies, their laughter easy and carefree. But I couldn't shake the lingering tightness in my chest, the feeling that I was somehow out of place, even with them.

Elijah and Easton stayed close, as always, though I could sense their watchfulness. They were trying to make me feel better, but I could see it in their eyes something was off, and I was the one causing it.

"Hey, wanna go check out that new tech store?" Alex suggested, nudging Henry. "They've got some cool stuff for the game console."

"Yeah, sure," Henry replied, already on his feet. "Let's go see if they have anything new."

The two of them took off, and Easton and Elijah both looked at me, waiting to see what I'd do. I didn't want to be a burden. I didn't want to be the one slowing everyone down. But the thought of wandering aimlessly through the mall again made me feel exhausted. I just wanted to go home.

"You good, Adrian?" Easton asked softly, the concern still there, though he was trying to keep it casual.

I forced a smile, not wanting to make things harder than they already were. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little tired, I guess."

Elijah gave me a long look, his eyes filled with that quiet understanding I couldn't avoid. "We don't have to keep shopping, you know," he said, his voice gentle. "If you want, we can just head back to the car."

I wanted to say yes, to take the easy way out, but something stopped me. It was like I couldn't bear the thought of being the one who ruined the day for everyone else. So I nodded, even though my stomach churned at the thought of more people, more noise, more pressure.

"I'm good," I said again, this time with more conviction, though my words felt like a lie.

"Alright," Elijah said, his voice still soft but with a trace of relief. "Let's just take it easy for now. We'll find something fun to do, and then we can head out, okay?"

I nodded, even though I wasn't sure if anything could make this day feel less heavy. Easton gave me a quick smile, his way of showing support without pushing. I appreciated it, even though it didn't feel like it was enough to quiet the anxiety building in my chest.

We walked toward a small arcade at the far end of the mall, a place I knew they liked to stop by sometimes. The flashing lights and clatter of games would be a distraction, I told myself. Something to take my mind off the constant pressure, the feeling of being too thin, too small, too different.

Elijah and Easton seemed to relax a little as we approached the arcade, but I couldn't let go of the nagging feeling that something wasn't right. I didn't fit in with the easy rhythm of the others, their laughter and banter as natural as breathing. I was always a step behind, always trying to catch up.

When we reached the entrance to the arcade, Easton grinned and nudged me. "How about a race in a racing game? Think you can beat me?"

I forced myself to smile back, even though the idea of standing in front of a screen, racing against Easton's effortless speed, felt more like a challenge than something fun. But it was something to do, something that would distract me for a little while.

"Sure," I said, my voice steadier than I felt. "Why not?"

We split up to pick our games, and I found myself in front of a racing game with a neon-lit track. Easton was already setting up on the next machine, a competitive glint in his eyes. I tried to ignore the flutter of nervousness in my stomach. This was supposed to be fun, right?

The game began, the engine noises blasting from the speakers. I pushed the pedal and gripped the wheel tighter than necessary, trying to focus on the race, on the speed, on anything other than the thoughts running through my head. But despite my best efforts, my mind kept drifting back to the way Easton and Elijah had looked at me in the store, the way I could feel their worry just beneath the surface.

I was too slow, I knew it. Easton was miles ahead in the race, his car zipping around the corners while mine struggled to keep up. He glanced over at me, his lips curling into a teasing smile.

"Come on, Bunny, catch up!" he called, his voice light but with that familiar edge of challenge.

I gritted my teeth and pushed harder, but the race didn't matter. The sound of the engine, the flashing lights, it all felt like it was happening in the background of my own mind, a blur that couldn't drown out the way my chest tightened with every passing second.

Finally, the game ended, and Easton's car crossed the finish line first. He looked over at me with a grin, clearly expecting the usual joke, the easy banter we shared.

"You almost had me there," he teased, stepping off the machine.

But I didn't smile. I didn't even try to act like it didn't sting. Instead, I just nodded, my hands still gripping the steering wheel as if letting go would make everything real.

"Yeah," I muttered, swallowing against the lump in my throat. "Almost."

Elijah joined us a moment later, watching Easton's smug smile and my silence. "Nice race, guys," he said, his tone warm, but I could see the way his gaze flicked over to me, still searching for something I wasn't ready to give.

I forced myself to stand up, trying to ignore the ache in my chest. "Let's just keep going," I said, even though I wasn't sure what I was hoping for. More distractions? More time to pretend I wasn't falling apart on the inside?

We kept walking through the arcade, my brothers making jokes and laughing. But the laughter sounded distant, like it was coming from someone else's life, not mine. I tried to keep up with them, but everything felt too loud, too bright, too much.

The mall felt even more oppressive now, the walls seeming to close in on me. I wanted to say something, anything, to make this all feel more normal, but the words were stuck in my throat. I wanted to tell them I was fine, that I wasn't broken, that they didn't have to worry about me. But every time I opened my mouth, I couldn't make the words come out right.

"Let's take a walk, alright?" Elijah suggested after a moment, his voice steady, like he was trying to guide me through the moment. "We don't have to go anywhere specific, just... walk."

I nodded, grateful for the distraction. We moved slowly through the mall, past stores I didn't even register, through crowds of people that I tried to ignore. Elijah and Easton kept up their quiet conversation, but it was like I was somewhere else entirely, caught between the noise of the world and the quiet inside my head. I couldn't stop thinking about how I was failing them, how they had to be worried about me, how they were always looking after me.

As we walked, the knot in my stomach started to ease, but only a little. I could feel their attention on me, like I was a fragile thing they were trying to protect. I hated it. I wanted to be normal. I wanted to just blend in and be one of them without all the extra care, the careful words, the soft glances.

"Hey, Adrian," Easton said, his voice gentle, breaking through my thoughts. "You don't have to be perfect, you know?"

The words caught me off guard. I glanced at him, and he gave me a soft, understanding smile. "None of us are," he added, a little quieter now. "We've got your back. Always."

I wanted to respond, to say something meaningful, but my throat tightened again, and I couldn't find the words. Instead, I just nodded, swallowing down the lump in my throat.

We continued walking in silence, the three of us drifting through the mall, not really looking at anything, not really going anywhere. But for the first time in hours, I didn't feel quite as lost. Maybe it was the warmth of Elijah and Easton's presence, or maybe it was just that they were giving me the space I needed to breathe. Whatever it was, I was grateful for it.

Eventually, we made our way to the mall's exit, the bright afternoon sunlight spilling in from outside. The pressure in my chest had eased slightly, though it hadn't disappeared completely. But for now, I felt like I wasn't entirely alone in it.

We didn't have to say much as we headed for the car. The silence between us wasn't uncomfortable it was the kind of quiet that came from shared understanding, from the kind of bond that didn't need words. And for the first time today, I let myself believe that maybe everything would be okay.

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Word count: 1589

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