Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-five Melody Melody had been in Lucy’s studio for three days when the door rang. Her heart leapt in her chest and she was forced to shake her hands and take a deep breath. She couldn’t lose her composure, she told herself as she walked toward the door. Could it be Timothy? Had he realized that she loved him? Had he finally realized that she left because she didn’t know if he loved her?

She hasn’t heard from him in three days, not a call, not a text message, nothing to say that he was okay, that he moved on with his life. It hurt her soul to think that he continued as if nothing happened, because she was destroyed, desolate and most of all, she was alone.

On several occasions she picked up her cell phone to call him, to tell him that she would go get her things, clothes he bought her, shoes, purses, even clothes for her baby. He left one of her credit cards at her disposal, called the bank and spoke to a representative to authorize her to use it as she pleased.

She kept it in her wallet, but she had no desire to call him and let him think she was calling him because she changed her mind.

And she regretted it!

She made a fool of Timothy, alone in the chapel to show his face for her regret and her leaving. He had to talk to her father, to his parents, to the press. God! She was a coward. In every sense of the word, coward, was definitely an understatement.

It wasn’t his fault that she fell in love with him. It wasn’t his fault for making her heart race by having him around. Timothy hadn’t even realized the effect he had on her.

Because even when they made love, when his hands were all over her body, when he gave her the pleasure of feeling her first orgasm, she loved him madly, and in her innocence, she believed that by not repeating that, she could save her heart.

But her heart was already compromised. In love like a stray in the woods. Blind with love for Timothy Giannato.

That’s why she was unconsciously waiting for him to come to the door, to call her, to look for her.

But nothing happened in three days.

Lucy recommended her not to read anything in the press, nor to talk to anyone. Secluded in her studio apartment, she simply cried and drank water, to have liquid in her body so she could continue crying.

She realized that she hurt a good man with her hasty decision, one who helped her and proved that money does not make people bad and ruthless, there are also people with a noble heart, and enough money to help.

She opened the door and her heart stopped beating for a second.

“Allegra. I don’t know what you’re doing here but this is not a good time,” she told her without moving from the door.

She had her pajamas on, a red tank top with little hearts on it, and pants larger than they were normally worn. But she had no desire to get dressed, hadn’t been that way since she returned from her wedding.

Her wedding.

She didn’t want to think about that one, even though it was the only thing she’d done in three days.

“I just saw in the paper that you left your wedding,” her sister was wearing a sky-blue dress and low sandals, her hair was pulled back in a stern ponytail. “Will you let me in, Mel?”

“No,” there was no use listening as Allegra wallowed in her grief.

“Mel...”

“No. It’s a no, period Allegra. Why did you come here? To tell me he’s the one who broke up with me?

It’s been a month since you last spoke to me! A month since you preferred your husband to your own sister! It’s not fair for you to come wallowing in my pain.”

It had been quite unbearable for her to have to face that her whole family hated her for so long, that they didn’t seek her out, that only her father was really interested in her.

Only he had been at her wedding. Only Charles Redford had been there for her, on the day that was supposed to be the most important day of her life.

“Forgive me,” her sister whispered and for the first time, Melody noticed Allegra. She looked haggard, thinner, gaunt, dark-eyed, and at that moment, on the verge of bursting into tears. “I’m sorry Mel. I haven’t been having the best month. I’m sorry for not being the sister you deserved, I’m sorry for not being there to take care of you like I should have.”

Melody opened the door all the way and stepped aside.

“Come in,” she told her worriedly.

Allegra didn’t know how to lie, at least, not so convincingly, so her reaction, must have been as real as the pain her eyes professed.

“Melody, you don’t know how I’ve regretted not believing you, not... not being with you in this process.

You were there throughout my pregnancy, even when you knew nothing about babies, you were with me every step of the way.”

“It was my duty, Allegra,” she told her as she sat down on the sofa.

The truth was that she was exhausted, she was tired of not leaving the apartment, she had barely eaten in those three days, her body was screaming for her to just stay in bed. Not to move, not to go out, not to talk. Instead, she stared at Allegra, who seemed to need her.

“So, it was mine. I should have been there too! But I didn’t,” Allegra began to cry as she sat down beside her. “I married a thief and a cheater! He got her pregnant and planned the robbery with her!” her voice broke and Melody moved in for a hug.

Family was family, no matter what her sister and mother had acted less than kindly towards her.

It didn’t matter to her that others didn’t have the same way of thinking.

“I’m sorry, Alle,” she said stroking her back. Allegra laid her head on her legs and Melody continued to comfort her for a while.

“I was stupid...”

“No,” she said as she caressed her, “you were a woman in love, an inspiring wife and a perfect mother.

That’s what you were. His infidelity? It’s not your responsibility! It’s not your burden! You can’t condemn yourself for something he did.”

“It’s just that I don’t condemn myself for what he did to me,” she said rising from her legs and looking at her. “I’m sorry...I hate myself, for not listening to you and believing you. And I’m so selfish, that instead of asking you how you are and what you need, I came here to vent and burden you with my problems.”

Allegra got up from the couch and started pacing around the room. Melody wanted to stop her, but she looked like a ticking time bomb, something that was about to explode and shatter into a thousand pieces.

“Allegra...” she called out to her, but Allegra paid no attention.

“He cheated on me! Along with that woman they stole those three million... And he blamed you!” she vociferated angrily. “You! And I am the worst. Me, who believed every word he said. How could I have been so stupid?”

“People sometimes don’t realize what’s going on in front of their eyes, not because it’s not clear, but because they don’t want to see it.”

That happened with Timothy. He didn’t see that she loved him, a whole month of trying to hide her feelings, and masterfully succeeding.

For no good. In the end, she was gone. She decided to walk away and not accept Timothy’s charade.

Loving him like a possessed woman, and yet she preferred to walk away from him.

“All my life I will regret not believing you, not listening to you,” her older sister approached her again, this time, knelt in front of her and held her hands, intertwined with hers. “I will never get tired of asking for your forgiveness Mel.”

“You don’t have to keep doing it. I stopped feeling bad about those things a long time ago,” her eyes were beginning to leak the tears she kept holding back by trying to give Allegra strength.

“Oh Mel! Don’t cry honey. Don’t cry for me. I don’t deserve it. You are all that is right in this world.”

“My life is a mess Alle,” she finally blurted out. “I appreciate you being here, that you came. But right now, I’m not the best person to raise your spirits.”

“I’m sorry things didn’t work out with Timothy. He seemed like a good man, and more than anything, he loved you.”

“He didn’t love me. That’s the problem,” she told him dropping her hands and pulling her legs up, she hugged her knees. Her sister sat down next to her on the couch and looked at her in confusion.

“What are you saying? That man loves you. He forgave Equilay’s theft, he let him go free for you, because you asked him to.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” she didn’t want to tell her sister how wrong she was, for doing so, would mean she had to tell her about the sham marriage and the inheritance Timothy wished to collect.

They were subjects that were simply not for her to say.

“It doesn’t matter if you won’t tell me why you think that,” she told her, as with her thumbs she wiped away the tears she quietly had been shedding. “Don’t tell me if you don’t want to. But you must believe me when I tell you that, that man loves you. Maybe he’ s the one who doesn’t realize it, but he does, I saw it in his eyes.”

“Your judgment of people can’t be taken too much seriously, Allegra,” it was a cheap shot, and she knew it. But her sister wasn’t one to tell her she was wrong, to imply that she couldn’t read people.

“I know. I believe you. I know you’ll be upset for a long time. Even if your heart doesn’t hate me, even if your mouth says you forgave me, I know for a long time you won’t fully believe what I tell you,” her sister was right, as much as she wanted to listen to her without looking at her as the one who turned her back on her, she couldn’t. She kept seeing her as the one who believed her husband, her mother, everyone but her. “It’ll be a while before you trust again, but you know something?”

She stood up from the couch and looked down at her from above, her eyes watery and her gaze blurry.

“That man, the one you doubt loves you, he loves you like you obviously love him,” she smiled, though the gesture didn’t reach her tired eyes. “He was the one who asked me to come and see you.”

“You said you’d seen it in the paper. You said that’s why you came.”

“No, I said I’d seen you break off your engagement in the paper. Not that that’s why I came here. On many occasions I wanted to call you, to apologize, to tell you that I was already divorced, that it was all over between Equilay and me. But I lacked courage. I lacked the courage you had. Timothy showed me when he came to my house and asked me to take care of you,” she smiled again, and Melody began to wonder if there was something funny on her face.

“What? What’s wrong? What’s funny?” she mumbled uncomfortably as she got up from the couch.

“You chickened out. The Melody I grew up with, would never run away from a fight, or a problem. You always stood up to everything. Even...” she looked at her belly and closed her eyes for a second. “Even when no one supported you with the biggest thing that happened to you...you kept going, you battled, you left home. You decided to have your child alone. Even though you knew your family didn’t agree.”

“What are you trying to tell me?”

“Don’t be a coward about love.”

“I’m not...”

“You are. Did you tell him you are madly in love with him? Did you tell him how you feel in your heart?

Did you speak clearly with him? Did you ask him how he felt?”

She didn’t have to think long about it, she never asked those questions. She knew he would not reciprocate her love. That was something even a blind man could tell.

Though now her sister had planted doubt in her heart and mind.

“Did you? Or did you simply take the easy way out?”

“I...” she didn’t know what to answer. It suddenly seemed so silly and childish of her reaction.

“I knew it,” her sister already had the answer to her questions. Melody covered her face with her hands and burst into tears.

What a fool she had been!

Even her running away from Timothy, taking off and practically stood him up on their wedding day, and he still cared about her, at least enough to go to her sister, the wife of the man who robbed him, to make her go after her and take care of her.

“Don’t cry like this, don’t lie down to die in this tiny place. Don’t waste your life and the love of a man who cares for you,” she reached over and hugged her. Melody let herself rock in her lap. “There comes a time in people’s lives, where it is necessary to step away to see everything in perspective, just as it happens, too, there are people that you have to be direct and ask them what they feel, and you tell them what the heart screams out to you. You shouldn’t ever assume that the other person knows why you are leaving or why you are walking away.”

They stayed like that for a while longer, her sister didn’t demand to know anything more, she just stood there hugging her and giving her the strength, she needed so badly during those days of loneliness.

No one deserved to be alone when they were heartbroken.

“Don’t wait until it’s too late to find out if he really loves you and returns what you feel,” she told her minutes before leaving.

She showered in a hurry, putting on a dress of Lucy’s that fit her terribly, as her friend was much fuller than she was. She didn’t mind, as she didn’t bring any clothes from Timothy’s either, she asked Clark to take her straight to the studio apartment.

She untangled her black hair and let it down, put on a faded old coat Lucy had hanging on a hanger and some old tennis shoes she’d left there before she moved in with Timothy.

Her mind couldn’t process anything other than to talk to Timothy, to know for sure, if he loved her.

She picked up her cell phone and dialed without thinking.

“Melody?”

“Hi Devina. I need your help.”