What's That Supposed To Mean? - 42

Hey!!!

Thank you for all the comments on the last chapter, telling me your opinions! I've decided to keep this story going to 50 chapters ONLY! So, 50 or less, it's going to end soon. So thanks for all the comments and supports, here is chapter 42!

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Chapter 42

“They're here! They're here!”

The sudden shouting and screaming snapped me awake. I looked at Jake who was still sleeping and our hands. I looked behind me where Arianna wasn't sitting anymore and heard it again, more clearly this time.

“They're here! They have arrived!”

My eyes went up to the window and I watched as they all came out, one big pack of werewolves, stepping out of the shadows of the forest. The sky was dark, the forest was dark. Only their eyes could be seen from here. My heart pounded so loud that I could hear it and I carefully let go of Jacob's hand as I slowly stood up from the chair and just watched.

I couldn't go out. Every single one that had stayed here were outside, happy but concerned in case there was someone that hadn't come back. I stayed here, right where I was. I was frozen, staring out the window with a mix of emotions flooding through my body.

Arianna and Aunt Bianca ran to three werewolves and I knew that Willa, Joseph and Aaron were alright. Several women ran to their families and friends and I felt that I couldn't watch. I just couldn't. Breathing heavy in worry, I turned around and fell down on the soft couch, dropping my head in my hands.

Breathe, Samantha, breathe.

Tears I couldn't stop started running down my cheeks as I felt panic creeping up on me, slowly eating me inside and out. I tried to block out all the voices of the women that found whoever they were hoping would come back alive but I couldn't even do that.

I had never in my entire life felt like this. I was scared to the freaking death that they hadn't come back alive. I was so scared that my hands were shaking. I was so scared that I got scared by it.

What was happening to me? Was this a break down? It had to be. Everything just came crashing down and now I was pretty much having a panic attack.

“Samantha!”

I looked up in fright and shock at my father's face. He was alive. He was alive! I jumped up and into his big arms as I cried against his chest. I had no words, literally.

“I'm alright, sweetheart, we're fine.”

I looked up at him.

“Is Noah here?”

At the mention of his name, my dad looked down.

“I don't really know. I haven't seen any of them since we went to attack, only Thresh and Caleb and the twins. But don't be so sure, we all just ran away. John and I just made sure all of our men had gone home and then we just ran, we didn't have time to see who and who made it.”

“Oh my god,” I said, breathing as if I had been running for years with no stop. I backed away and back down to the couch. “No, no, no... No, this can't be happening.”

“He's not dead. Samantha, he's not dead. Please, calm down, sweetheart. He's there somewhere, I promise.”

I dropped my face back into my hands and tried to breathe normally but it was only getting worse. If he didn't come back, I honestly don't know what I would do. I had to survive through it, but I didn't want to. I don't think I will be able to.

Panic attack, panic attack, panic attack...

Breathe, Samantha, breathe.

I heard something loud in the background but I was too busy trying to calm down.

“Noah!” my father exclaimed.

My head snapped up so fast I swear I almost felt it crack. When I saw Noah standing there, breathing just as heavy as me – okay, probably not, I was practically hyperventilating – I started sobbing. Like, not normal sobbing, it was sobbing, sobbing. I ran into his arms and jumped up on him, locking my legs around his waist as we hugged each other to death. I buried my face in the crook of his neck and cried of relief and happiness.

“I-I-I.. th-thou-thought I l-l-lo-s-st y-y-you-u,” I said between sobs.

Was I overreacting? Was I being overdramatic? I don't know, you tell me, but to be honest, this was the first time I had ever felt so many emotions in the same time and it was just raining down on me. I couldn't help it.

“I'm right here, I'm right here. I'm right here, Sammy,” he whispered in my ear. Then more loudly, “I'm going upstairs with her, check on Jake please.”

I felt him move and as he said, he was walking up the stairs and then into a room I assumed was his. He shut the door with his leg and sat down on his bed, my legs still locked around him. I didn't move, I didn't want to move out of his arms, away from his body.

“D-d-do you-u know h-how scar-r-ed I wa-a-s?” I asked him, angry and sad and happy at the same time. Seriously, what was up with me? Oh my god... That's right. Heightened emotions, remember? Double up on everything. Felt like triple in my case.

“Baby,” Noah said with a small chuckle. “Baby, breathe. Don't cry, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. Please, breathe, you're freaking me out.”

I let out a chuckle but it came out like a weird sob or something, which made us both laugh even more. I took deep breaths, trying to stop the crying and that annoying breathing you do when you sob, like you can't take one breath at a time, instead you take like a hundred without any control over it.

I pulled my head back so that I could see his face and he smiled sadly when he saw me. His hands immediately came up and his thumbs were carefully wiping my tears and under my eyes.

“Can you stop crying?” he asked quietly. “Believe it or not, you're going to make me cry.”

I laughed, still trying to calm down but violently breathing. I can tell you, like I have many times before, I was NOT a girl to cry. And this kind of crying was pretty much new to me. Samantha Riley doesn't cry, let alone sob.

“I am so... glad... you're home,” I managed to say, glad I could talk better.

“I'm glad too. Just... please, don't cry. I can't take it to see you like this.”

I chuckled, shaking my head.

“I'm s-sorry. But I c-can't... stop.”

“I can see that,” he said, though he was not joking. He looked at me with a sad smile, my face in his hands. He moved a little so that we were sliding down on the floor, his back against the bed and me still in that same position on top of him, legs locked around his waist.

“Feels like forever,” I said at last, having calmed down. Silent tears that wouldn't listen at my demands were still slowly running down but I wasn't sobbing anymore, and I could breathe and speak like a normal person, thank God. “And I think I'm having a breakdown.”

“I know,” he said with a small chuckle. Then he looked at me seriously for a few seconds before speaking. “Are you okay? When I saw you back there... Victor told me what happened.”

At the mention of the one thing I had forgotten until now, the tears threatened to come out again and I was afraid that I would lose this battle against them. I didn't open my mouth to speak because if I did, I'd begin to sob again.

“Talk to me, Samantha..”

Oh shit, here it comes.

I didn't sob like I did earlier, but nonetheless, it was a new sobbing session, only calmer.

“I don't know w-what happened t-t-o-o m-me! I j-just saw r-r-ed and I st-st-starte-ed to kill them! I e-e-nded thr-r-ee in l-like t-t-en s-s-econ-nds!”

“Ssch, it's okay, it's okay. Relax, breathe. Baby, it's okay.”

“N-no it's n-not! I don't d-d-o tha-at!”

I stopped talking because it was impossible. First, I never sob in my entire life but when I do, I sob for real. Gosh, this wasn't fun. And the memories of killing those guards were not helping me at the moment. I tried to breathe again, trying to calm down a second time. Noah waited patiently and I felt stupid, sobbing like this.

“Sorry...” I breathed, still taking deep breaths.

“Samantha,” Noah said seriously. “Look at me. I don't want you to blame yourself for anything, do you hear me? No, I'm serious right now. If you think that any of this is your fault, I'm going to kick you out through my window. I know you hate killing even though it's a part of our nature, in who we are, but you weren't in control today.”

“I know,” I said quickly. “I know. But still, I just... I became a killing machine, Noah!”

“I know,” he said softly.”And for you, I am sorry. But for you, again, I am glad because you didn't get killed, you helped your friends and Mason and I and you were a part of saving Jacob. Think of the positive things, Sam. You did more good than bad.”

He had a point. I'd try not to let the guilt eat me up, which would be hard now in the beginning but I knew I'd get over it, especially with Noah by my side. If he could get over things like this, I could, too.

I nodded. Noah wiped the remaining tears on my cheeks and smiled. He pulled me back into a hug and we sat there comfortably for a while, embracing each other.

*(Camera)Flash*

I blinked, opening my eyes at the same time as Noah stirred, blinking his eyes open as well. I looked down on us and realized that we had fallen asleep in the same position that we had been on the floor. But that flash...? I turned around, only to find Mason, Jacob, Caleb, Thresh, the twins, Arianna, Aaron and Victor – what a party – grinning and smirking down at Noah and me. My eyes went down to the camera that Jacob was holding and I finally figured out what was going on.

“You looked too cute,” Jacob said.

“Like two little bears hugging,” Mason said.

“More like two freaks in a weird sleeping position,” the twins added.

“What's next? Sleeping on the desk?” Victor asked, all of them laughing.

“Get out!” Noah groaned loudly, making me deaf in my left ear. “Sorry,” he said quietly. “Rest of you, get the fuck out before I eat your faces off.”

“Oh my God, you're so brutal,” Jacob commented.

“So aggressive,” Caleb muttered.

“What are you, a cannibal?” Leo asked.

“Eat your girlfriend instead,” Theo added.

“Cover your ears,” Noah whispered quickly and I hurried to do that just in time for his, “GO!!!!”

The door was immediately shut and we were alone again. I laughed, my forehead resting on his shoulder. He groaned again, putting his arms around me and pulling me closer as he snuggled in.

“The bed,” I said, already falling back asleep. Noah nodded against my head and tiredly lifted us both up and we fell down on the bed. We snuggled closer to each other, embracing each other under the covers, and fell back asleep.