Mr Spencer: Chapter 20

Spencer’s chin immediately rises in annoyance. I can see he’s clenching his jaw.

“It’s just semantics, Spence. We’ll stay at your house together or at my house together. It won’t change a thing.”

“Then why do it?”

“Because my father doesn’t want me to rush into anything. He said that he will accept our relationship if I’m not living with you straight away.”

He stares at me.

“Please try and understand, my family are so important to me and they’re just worried that I’m going to get hurt.”

He licks his lips, and I know he’s choosing his words carefully.

“You even said yourself that if you were me you would get your own apartment. On some level, you know what they’re saying is true.”

He rolls his eyes.

“But I won’t have my own apartment—not really. We’ll just have two apartments between us. Six months down the line, after a little independence, I’ll officially move in here.”

He sits on a stool and then scratches his head, remaining silent.

“What do you think?” I ask.

“Does it matter what I think?”

“Of course it does.”

He shrugs and pours a glass of wine.

Just say something… anything.

I sit down beside him. I think that at any moment he’s going to go crazy, watching as he sips his wine.

“Do what you want,” he eventually mutters.

I frown. “What does that mean?”

“I mean do what you want.” He shrugs.

“Are you angry with me?”

“Angry, no. Disappointed… yes.”

My heart drops. “You’re disappointed,” I whisper. I think I would prefer him to be angry.

He cups my cheek in his hand. “Yeah, I’m disappointed.” He exhales heavily. “I wanted to start our life together right now, but I also understand.”

I’m losing track of this conversation. “What do you understand?”

“I understand that your family comes first, and that you will always, on some level, do what they want you to do.”

I frown.

“It’s okay.” He brushes his thumb over my bottom lip and stares at me for a moment. ‘I’ll just have to learn to deal with it.” He shrugs. “As long as they’re happy, you’ll be happy, right? I’m going to take a shower now.” He turns and, without another word, he walks away to make his way upstairs.

I stare at the refrigerator, his words playing on repeat in my mind.

As long as they’re happy, you’ll be happy, right?

Is that true?

Will I only be happy if my family accept Spencer?

What if I do this for them, and then they never accept him anyway? What if I let them drive a wedge between the two of us?

I do want to keep my father happy. It’s how I am… but should I want that at Spencer’s expense?

They don’t even know him. What gives them the right to judge him?

We’re so happy together.

He did everything right. He got a prenup to protect me, he tried to be civil while Edward was just attacking him non-stop. What was he supposed to do? Of course he was going to fight back eventually.

I drop my head into my hands.

I’m so confused.

I’m going to have to think about this. I don’t want to just push Spencer’s needs aside because my family doesn’t want to be embarrassed by the tabloids. It’s what he does from here on in that matters to me. I don’t care about his past, I want his future.

I finish my wine and head upstairs to find Spencer in the shower. He’s washing himself when he turns to me and smiles sexily. He has no idea of the turmoil I’m in.

“You getting in?” he asks.

I give him a lopsided smile, undress, and get in under the hot water. His big arms come around me and he holds me tight.

“I love you.” I smile up at him.

“I know you do, angel.” His mouth takes mine, and his tongue slowly slides through my lips.

“I don’t want to disappoint you, Spence,” I whisper.

“Baby, you could never truly disappoint me. I know where they’re coming from, and to be honest, I would give anything to have a father who loves me as much as your father loves you. It’s a blessing.”

My eyes fill with tears, My poor man.

My heart breaks for him and the pain he has been through at the hands of his so-called father.

We kiss again, and it’s long and deep and tender and I feel my arousal burn deep inside me. His erection is up against my stomach. He motions to lift me, but I stop him.

“Spence, I can’t.”

“What?”

“I have my period.”

His face falls and he drops my feet back to the floor. “Oh.” He frowns.

I smile softly up at him as I push the hair back from his face. “I thought you couldn’t wait for my period to come. Remember, you thought your life was over last week.”

He chuckles. “Hmm.” He holds my face and kisses me again. “After my initial freak out, I kind of liked the idea of having my baby inside of you.”

My heart stops, and my eyes search his. This is it, everything I ever wanted is here with me.

The water runs down over his face. I’ve never seen a more beautiful man.

“I’ll give you a baby one day,” I whisper.

He smiles. “Promise?”

I nod and wrap my arms around him tight. Oh, this feeling of closeness between us is so strong.

It’s a tangible force…all encompassing. We hold each other close for an extended time.

His hand eventually slides down and grabs my behind. “Is it one day today?” he asks, his playful tone returning.

I pull back and frown. “That depends on which one day you’re meaning.”

“The one day when you give me anal?”

I laugh out loud. “You idiot.” I flick water at him. “This is a romantic moment and you’re wrecking it.”

His eyes blaze with mischief and he pins me to the wall. “I’m deadly serious. We need to fuck, angel. You have three choices of where you get it.”

He bites my neck and I laugh as he ravages me. “Spencer Jones, you are a sex maniac.”

He growls, causing goose bumps to scatter up my spine. “But I’m all yours.”

I punch the code into the security gate.

1105

The large metal gates slowly open and I feel my nerves rise. The boys are in the car behind me. I’m driving Spencer’s car today. I wanted to drive myself to Nottingham this time.

Don’t ask me why, because I don’t even know what significance me driving myself here even has.

But it matters somehow.

Spencer doesn’t know I’m here. I dropped him off at work this morning and told him I would pick him up. He didn’t ask questions as to why I wanted his car but that’s Spencer for you. He’s supportive of my every decision, even if he doesn’t know the reason behind it.

I didn’t sleep last night. I watched the beautiful man beside me instead, going over his childhood and the way he suffered at his father’s lack of conviction.

The way he cares for me, the way he makes me feel, the way he’s tenderly teaching me about myself and my body…

I love him.

And sometime in the middle of the night, I had an epiphany.

I will never lack conviction in my love for him. I will never put him second… not even for my family.

I’m here to move my stuff out. I’m moving in with Spencer today, and if they don’t like it, they can lump it.

I will not be held responsible for their fears.

Because I have none.

He is my soul mate. He is the man I’ve been waiting for, and I won’t cower to their demands. Not for anything.

I crawl up the driveway and park outside the front of my house. I have no idea what I’m going to take, but I just know I had to come home to make it final.

Three hours later and I’m sitting on the grass of the manicured garden in the family graveyard of my father’s estate. I stare at the tombstone.

I’m with my mother and a feeling of deep sadness fills me. I wish she could meet Spencer. I wish she were here to see how happy he makes me.

I’ve packed all of my things and loaded them into the back of the cars. I know my father is home, but he hasn’t been down to see me. He knows.

“He’s got blonde hair, Mum, and blue eyes,” I whisper through a lump in my throat. “He’s tall and handsome, and if you could see the way he looks at me, you would understand.” Tears roll down my face. “I love him.”

I just want to hear her voice, just one more time.

I want her to tell me that’s it’s okay—that she understands why I’m doing this.

But she can’t. She never will.

She’s gone.

Sometimes the pain of her not being here is too much.

It’s like I have to fight for my next breath.

How am I supposed to live without her?

I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I jump in fright. “Are you all right, darling?” my father asks.

I stand, and I wrap my arms around him. “Not really,” I whisper against his shoulder. “I miss her, Dad.”

“I miss her, too.”

“I need her to tell me that this is okay.” I lift my chin and his eyes search mine. “Because I’m moving in with him, Dad. I love him and I’m not waiting.”

His face falls. “But you said—”

“I know what I said,” I cut him off. “But I’ve thought about it.”

“He talked you out of it, you mean.”

“No.” I shake my head. “Not at all. He doesn’t even know I’m here. It’s time for me to grow up and make my own decisions, Dad.”

His eyes fall to the ground.

“I love Spencer. In time, you will come to love Spencer, too, because he’s a wonderful man.”

“Charlotte,” he whispers. “I can’t support this relationship.”

“Then you won’t see me.”

His face falls. “Don’t say that.”

“Remember when you fell in love with Mum and the whole world was against you… but you knew it was right?”

He frowns.

“I know this is right. In my heart of hearts, I know this is right.”

“Charlotte, you are so young and naïve. What’s the rush, darling?”

“Why would I wait?” I whisper. “Why wait when he makes me happier than I’ve ever been?”

Dad drops his head.

“I’m moving in with him today. My things are already packed, and I would like you to come and visit me.”

He stays silent.

I scowl and swallow with regret. I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. “I love you, Dad.”

“I love you too,” he whispers.

“Will you come and visit me?”

He stares at me blankly. “No.”

I blink as my vision becomes blurred.

“I cannot accept this relationship if you move in with him. I’ve told you that already.”

I frown and step back from him, shocked, but not surprised by his coldness. “This is goodbye then.”

He stares at me, his face blank and emotionless. I wait for him to say something, but he doesn’t.

I can’t stand this, I need to get away.

I turn away with tears streaming down my face. I walk as fast as I can and get into my car, wasting no time in pulling out of the driveway.

I watch the property disappear in the rearview mirror, feeling the pain in my chest.

I thought he loved me more than that.

“Angel?” Spencer calls. “Are you okay, sweetheart?” he whispers as he sits down beside me.

“Huh?” I push up onto my elbows. “Oh, I must have fallen asleep.” I sigh as I look down at myself sprawled across the sofa. My face falls. “Oh my God, I forgot to get you from work?” I whisper in a panic. “What time is it?”

He brushes my hair back from my forehead and smiles. “That’s okay, I called Wyatt when I couldn’t get you and he came to pick me up. We guessed you were asleep.”

I lie back down and put my forearm over my eyes. I just want this day to be over.

Spencer looks around at the boxes of my things spread everywhere. “What’s all this?”

“I moved in.” I give him my best attempt at jazz hands. “Surprise!”

He smirks. “I thought you were getting your own apartment.”

“I wanted my own Spencer instead.”

He leans down and kisses me. “I told you I didn’t mind.”

“I know.” I wrap my arms around his shoulders. “But I minded. I’m not coming into this relationship with anyone but you as my priority.”

“I love you.”

“Lucky. Because my father doesn’t want to see me again.”

“He’ll come around.” He sighs as he pulls me up by the hand. “Come on, get up and get yourself ready.”

“Why, where are we going?” I sigh.

“We have to celebrate. This is a big day. We just moved in together. Let’s see if we can find a bar that will play our song.”

I laugh. “There are no Australian one-man bands in London who know the song “Dream Catch Me,” Spence.”

“Karaoke it is then.”

Five hours later, and I’m smiling up at my handsome dance partner, rearranging his tie. “Thank you.” I smile.

“For what?”

“For dancing with me in a deserted bar at 1:00 a.m. on a school night. I know you’re trying to take my mind off of things.”

He spins me around. “You’re wrong about that, Prescott. I’m putting your mind onto things. This is a strategic move. I’m playing the game of champions.”

I fake amazement and narrow my eyes. “Oh, really? Tell me, Mr Spencer… ” I reach up and brush his hair back from his forehead and kiss him softly on the lips. “Is your brain in your dick tonight?”

“No, my brain is in my heart.”

And what a beautiful heart it is.

“My erection is in my dick.” He kisses my temple.

I giggle at his ridiculous answer, and we sway to the music.

“Will you love me when I’m poor, Lady Charlotte?”

“Why would you ever be poor, Mr Spencer?” I smirk.

“Sheridan wanted me to go to New York next week for a tender meeting.”

I stop dancing.

“I said no.”

“What does that mean?” I frown.

“It means she has the right to pull my company’s contract.”

“Do you think she will?”

He shrugs and starts to sway us again. “I don’t think so. She’s ballsy but she’s not a bitch. She isn’t vindictive.”

I stare at him.

“My company supplies her with good quality steel, she knows that.”

“Why don’t you just go?” I say.

“Because I don’t want to leave you.” He kisses me again.

“It’s okay, Spence, I trust you. You can go. I don’t want you to lose business over us.”

“Angel.” He smiles down at me. “I will not be held for ransom from an old lover and risk fucking up what I have in this room. She can jam the fucking contract up her arse for all I care.”

I look around at our surroundings, unable to stop myself from grinning. “We have two drunks in the corner of this room. I’m happy to sacrifice them,” I offer.

He laughs as he looks around at the two old men sitting drunk at the bar. “I wouldn’t even give up them.”

Spencer looks over and spots Wyatt, and I see a frown crease his brow. “What’s wrong?” I ask.

“How well do you know Wyatt?”

“Why?”

“Nothing.” He frowns. “Just something he said to me the other night has me weirded out a bit.”

“What did he say?”

“He asked me if I’d ever fucked a guy.”

I stop dancing again. “What?”

He widens his eyes. “Weird, right?”

“Seems I haven’t been the only thing he’s been watching then.”

“What does that mean?” He frowns.

“Wyatt is into men and women.”

“What?” he gasps.

I giggle at his surprise.

“How do you know this?” he whispers.

“We’re friends, of course I know this. He was in a three-way relationship with a woman and a man for over twelve months. They broke up last year.”

“You think he’s checking me out?” he whispers, completely terrified.

“No, I think that was his way of trying to tell you that he’s bisexual without coming out and actually saying it. When he said that to you, did you ask him the same question back? Because I know that’s how he told Edward.”

“What do you mean?”

“He asked Edward if he’d ever fucked a guy, and Edward said no, and then Edward asked him if he had. Of course, Wyatt said yes… that he swings both ways.”

Spencer’s eyes close, relief pouring out of him. “Thank fucking God. I thought there was some sinister paparazzi story being concocted about me. I was freaking the hell out.”

I laugh out loud. “Spencer, why don’t you just ask me these things instead of brewing on them for days?”

“Hell, woman.” He rests his cheek against mine. “I’ve aged thirty years since I met you.”

I smile up at him. “Spence?”

“Yes.”

“You didn’t sing our song to me.”

“Hmm.” He closes his eyes. “There’s a place I go when I’m alone.” He rocks us to his whispered song. “Do anything I want, be anyone I wanna be. But it is us I see, and I cannot believe I’m falling.” He pushes me out by the hand and twirls me under his arm, slowly bringing me back to him. “Dream catch me when I fall.”

“Or else I won’t come back at all,” I whisper.

We smile at each other, and it’s like he’s the only person on earth.

My person.

“I love you.” He smiles as he holds me tight.

“I love you.”

Our moment is interrupted when his phone vibrates in his pocket. He digs it out and reads it. His eyes light up in excitement.

“Bree’s in labour.”