Deflected Hearts: Chapter 1

As I step out of the shower, I grab a towel from the rack and wrap it around my waist. Water drips down the sides of my face from my damp hair, but I don’t bother drying it as frustration runs through me. Walking over to the counter, I swipe my hand across the moisture that collected on the mirror, creating a thick layer of condensation.

Looking at my reflection, I brush my hand over the healing bruise under my eye. It was one I earned in a fight at a party, because I was stupid and decided to try and pursue a girl I didn’t realize had a boyfriend until he was letting me know with his fist in my face. My stupidity got the best of me in that moment and I was jaded.

When it comes down to it in life, hockey will always be the most important thing. I didn’t spend my entire life working like I did just to throw it away for some attachment. There was only one girl who made me question that and I went and fucked it up with her. I pushed Poppy away when I couldn’t see past my own bullshit.

When we first met, it was something fun, a type of distraction to occupy my free time with. We had both agreed going into it that there would be no strings attached, which then ended up being easier said than done. I never intended to develop feelings for her and as soon as it felt like something more than just messing around, I had no choice but to shut it down.

Poppy and I could never be together, not when we came from two different worlds. And not when mine was already full.

She never expressed how she felt when I put space between us and pushed her away. It’s not like she really had the opportunity to, but I kept going back to the bar she worked at anyway like a fucking creep. It wasn’t stalking, because I wasn’t hiding, but I liked keeping an eye on her, knowing she was okay.

What I didn’t expect was for her to move on so quickly and then to vanish. She told me one night that she had a boyfriend, who then proceeded to pick her up. What I didn’t find out until later, was that she lied. She didn’t move on and it wasn’t her boyfriend who picked her up.

It was her cousin, but for some reason she told me it was someone she was in a relationship with, almost as if she was attempting to make it seem like she was doing fine, like she didn’t actually need me. And maybe she didn’t, but either way, the lie had me questioning everything.

I never got the chance to ask her the questions I had because shortly after that, she quit and essentially vanished. Poppy moved out of her apartment—to where, I still don’t know. All of her social media accounts were deleted. And no one seemed to know where she ran off to.

And I so desperately wanted to know what she was running from.

Was it me? And if it was, why run?

Grabbing another towel from the rack, I drape it over my head before viciously drying my hair. It messes it up, leaving the natural waves tousled on the top of my head. I stare at myself in the mirror, my hazel eyes looking back at me through my reflection. Picking up my phone from the counter, I look at the time and groan.

I have half an hour until I’m supposed to pick up Bailey. There was nothing serious between us. Hell, I had just met her a few weeks ago through my sister, Isla. They are both in an art class together and Isla decided it would be in my best interest to try and find someone else to occupy my time with. The idea sounded nice at the time and we started talking after Isla gave me Bailey’s number.

We’ve only met once, more so in passing between classes. I don’t know why I agreed to this date, but Isla insisted I do it. To try and make a better effort and do things the right way this time instead of how I went about everything with Poppy… because we all saw where that got me.

And, of course, my best friend, Logan, took Isla’s side. I wouldn’t have expected anything less from him because since they started dating, he always seems to be team Isla instead of team August. I can’t say that I blame him, though. She has more common sense than I do.

I quickly towel off my body and slip into my clothes that I brought into the bathroom with me. Grabbing my deodorant from the cabinet, I apply that under my arms and spray some cologne on before giving myself a once-over in the mirror. I run my fingers through my hair, working through the knots before leaving it in waves that hang down above my eyebrows.

Bailey picked somewhere that was more low-key, so I didn’t need to dress up, but I don’t want to show up there looking like a bum. My typical outfit consists of sweatpants and t-shirts and hoodies. It wasn’t really a suitable outfit for tonight, so I settled on a pair of dark-washed jeans and a dark gray Henley.

I clean up everything in the bathroom and spray down the shower with the daily spray that we have before slipping out of the room. The air feels cold as I step out into the hallway and walk down to my room and drop my dirty clothes and towels in the hamper by my closet. I grab my coat from where it hangs on the back of my door and head back out of my bedroom.

Isla and Logan are sitting on the couch, watching some movie as they eat Chinese food from boxes with chopsticks. Logan glances over at me, a smirk on his face as he gives me a once-over.

“Damn, Whitley,” he whistles, being dramatic as hell. He’s annoying, but I must say that the relationship he’s developed with my sister looks good on him. He finally looks happy. And even though I wasn’t on board with it at first, I saw how they were together, and put my feelings aside to make sure the two of them were happy. They’ve grown on me now as a couple.

I just hope my best friend doesn’t hurt my little sister, or I’ll have to hurt him.

“You look good, August,” Isla smiles at me, tilting her head to the side. “I think this might be one of the first times in years that I’ve seen you dress up, besides wearing a damn suit for some kind of hockey event.”

Rolling my eyes at the two of them, I head into the kitchen and grab a bottle of water, swallowing almost half of it in two gulps. “Is it too late to cancel?” I ask both of them as I stroll back into the dining room. “Movies and Chinese food sounds a lot better than small talk at a restaurant.”

“Absolutely not,” Isla scolds me, sounding like our damn mother. “You can’t cancel on her now. You have no idea how excited Bailey is for tonight and even if things don’t work out, you can still give it a chance and try to get to know her.”

“I can already tell you, there’s nothing there besides platonic feelings.”

Logan purses his lips, shaking his head as he pops a piece of chicken into his mouth. “Dude… you’ve made no progress on finding Poppy. Don’t you think it’s time to let it go? Maybe she doesn’t want to be found.”

The anxiety has my heart racing, pounding erratically in my chest. My emotions are one thing I’ve never been good at concealing and keeping in check, except for on the ice. My palms begin to sweat at the mention of Poppy’s name alone. Logan’s right, I have gotten nowhere in my search for her, but I don’t know that I’m ready to give up that easily.

But then again, I did make plans with Bailey to try and get over Poppy. It’s probably not the best way to get over someone, especially someone you were never in a relationship with. I was the one who ruined things with Poppy because I didn’t want to feel. I didn’t want to have that attachment because I’ve seen what it does to people, I’ve seen what it can do to their careers.

I need to let her go.

Inhaling deeply, I let out an exaggerated breath as I look between the two of them. “You’re right. I owe it to myself and to Bailey to at least try. Maybe there isn’t anything there with her now, but I don’t really even know her yet.”

“Good.” Isla smiles at me, nodding as she twirls her chopsticks in her noodles. “There’s not enough Chinese food here to share with you anyways.”

A laugh falls from Logan’s lips and he glances at Isla, his gaze only for her. I would be lying if I said there wasn’t a part of me that didn’t want what they have. Logan is as focused on hockey as I am, and seeing him be able to make a relationship work at the same time has definitely been an eye-opener.

“Whatever.” I drink the rest of my water from the bottle and crush the plastic between my palms before chucking it at the two of them. “I can’t make any promises, but I’m going to at least try tonight with her.”

Isla smiles at me with understanding and approval in her eyes. “That’s all you can do. And if it doesn’t feel right, then just be honest with her.”

Bailey texted me when I was walking out the door that she would just meet me at the restaurant, which honestly sounded like a better idea to me anyway. It’s not that I wouldn’t have given her a ride, but by driving separately, it doesn’t make it feel as forced that the night has to continue after we’re done at the restaurant.

It takes me a little longer to get there, since the place she chose is in the next town over. When I get there, she’s already inside, waiting for me at our table. I see her from across the restaurant, her blue eyes scanning the menu as I walk over to her. She lifts her head, her long blonde hair framing the sides of her face and a smile touching her lips as I take a seat across from her.

“Hi, August,” she says, her voice soft and gentle. “I was waiting for you to get here before ordering any drinks.”

I smile back at her, settling in my seat as I grab the menu in front of me. “You didn’t have to wait for me, but that was very kind of you. I’m just going to have water because I have a game tomorrow.”

“Of course.” She smiles, a pink tint creeping across her cheeks in embarrassment. “I completely forgot you said that you had one tomorrow so I apologize for not thinking about that.”

I nod in understanding. I can’t expect her to remember my schedule, so I attempt to let it roll off me instead of frustrating me. I can’t have any expectations of her when I don’t even know her. If there was one thing Poppy always knew, it was how important hockey was and will always be.

Our server walks over to us, and I lift my head as she stops in front of our table. My eyes widen as the air quickly drains from my lungs and catches in my throat. She stares back at me with a look of shock washing over her face.

She quickly recovers, directing her gaze to Bailey. “Are the two of you ready to order drinks?”

I can’t take my eyes away from her, my gaze trailing down her torso. Her black t-shirt hugs her curves, her breasts fuller than I last remembered. And it isn’t until my eyes reach her stomach that I feel like all of the oxygen vanishes from the room. Beneath the apron tied around her waist is a round bump, her belly sticking out like it’s swollen.

She’s pregnant.