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ELSIE

"Eli, please help me with this." Ian whined. His bottom lip jutted out and he looked at me with his dark brown eyes that made my heart swell.

The dark messy hair on his head was all over the place and I should definitely cut it short soon. It was bothering him. It was visible.

"Okay." I said and walked towards him. I had tons of work to do but helping him with his homework was more important. Ian was first grade and was already passionate about his work for school. He only had to do some drawing but still needed me there.

I pushed his hair back from his forehead and placed a kiss on his temple. He smile widened, one of his tooth missing. He cried a lot when it fell off but then reassured me that he was good because he was a big boy now.

He was only six years old but already knew too much.

I lowered myself on the wooden chair next to him and looked down at the paper. He was drawing a house and there was two small figures.

"Can you help me color the house. I'll color you and I." He swung his legs and looked at up at me.

"Okay buddy. Let's get to work." He giggled and handed me the brown colour. I grabbed the pen and started scrabbling on the paper. Ian was very talented and pride beamed in my chest every time his teacher praised him.

It meant I was somehow doing a good job at raising him.

Two years ago when my sister arrived at my door, I didn't expect that I'll be the one to take care of Ian. He was the smallest and cutest little human.

Sally was an addict together with her boyfriend, Ian's dad. They couldn't take care of him and as much as she was a careless person, I'm happy she realised that Ian didn't deserve that life. It was hard, taking the role as his mom but I had to do it. We had no one else to rely on.

My grandparents who raised us died few years ago and I didn't even knew where our parents were.

When Aidan, my older brother died, they were not the same. It felt like they detached themselves from me and Sally.

While I continued with my college, Sally sadly fell into depression. She didn't continue her studies and got pregnant with Ian.

I tried my best to help her but Sally was not listening to anyone. Our grandparents tried everything to guide her on the right path but nothing helped her.

The addiction sucked her in and Sally was no longer my bright young sister that I use to braid her hair when she was going to school. She was no longer the girl that giddily told me about her new crushes and her passion about sports.

She was not there anymore.

"I made a new friend at school." Ian brought me back from my thoughts and I realised that I have stopped colouring his drawing. Before he was able to notice, I quickly continued.

"Really? What is their name?"

"Macy. She's very pretty and I really like her."

"Oh... what do you like about her?" I grinned down at him and nudged his shoulder with mine. His cheeks blushed and he grabbed another marker.

"Her hair is very beautiful. It's dark and in long braids. She has a really pretty smile."

"What did we learn about that?" Me and Ian had a little chat about having crushes since he liked our neighbour's daughter last year. They sadly moved and my boy was heartbroken.

"To compli.... com..." He struggled.

"To compliment them."

"Yes, to do that in a nice way. To not annoy them and be a gentleman." He finished and I ran my palm over his back lovingly.

"That's right." I praised him. "Should we make her a flower with some paper?"

"Yes, yes!" He chanted and stood up from his chair.

"Go take the colourful ones and we'll do it." His legs tapped on the floor while he ran to his room. Our apartment was small. Barely for the two of us.

We had the living room together with the kitchen, Ian's room and a small bathroom. I slept in the living room on the couch because I wanted Ian to have his own room.

He was so excited about it and I didn't want to be the one to break that happiness. He had all of his toys and school supplies there.

My whole life was practically dedicated to him.

Even though the space was tiny, I made sure to make it feel like a sweet, cozy home. All of the decorations were colourful.

Ian and I started to make roses from paper and Ian patiently glued all of the pieces together. He was a very creative boy and I hope he has a bright future ahead of him.

He deserved the best this world could give. Sometimes I wonder if I was actually doing a good job. I made sure he has everything but there was always a nagging feeling in the back of my mind. What if he didn't feel the motherly love from me?

I was only his aunt after all.

"Do you think she'll like it?" He asked.

"Of course she will. And look at you all handsome and grown up." He puffed his chest and I ruffled his dark hair.

We finished with our work and it was time for Ian to go to bed.

We cleaned the table and took all of his supplies to his room. After that, I picked up the newly washed pyjamas and we walked over to the bathroom.

"Now it's time for you to shower little guy." I took his clothes off and he stepped into the shower stall. He started the water alone and I rolled my sleeves and stepped closer.

I have noticed that Ian was capable of doing most of the work himself but he still needed little bit of my help. He was even getting shy whenever I had to take his clothes off.

I shampooed his hair and he averted his eyes down. How fast the time passes. It was like yesterday when he started living with me.

After I was done with showering him, I wrapped his tiny body in a towel and he stepped out.

"Now it's time for your teeth." When he was done with dressing up, he picked up his brush and toothpaste.

He did everything on his own and then he marched to his room. His bed had covers of the movie Cars and he had a whole collection of the same toys.

I have spent a lot of money on them but the little guy was already a business with earning money from selling a lemonade last year.

So he gave all of that that money for his toys.

"Do you want the light?" I asked and he nodded while disappearing under the covers. I turned on the lamp on his nightstand and kissed his forehead. "Sleep well buddy. If you need anything call me. I'll be doing some work in the living room."

"Okay, Eli. Good night." He whispered and I saw his eyes already start to close. It was like this every night because he was always getting sleepy after taking a shower.

I straightened myself up and exited his room. I left the door slightly open and stalked to the dining table. Taking the laptop with me, I sat on the chair and opened the tabs on it.

Every day I arrived from work, I was spending my time with Ian. Making dinner, cleaning and helping him with his homework. I didn't want him to feel like I didn't want to engage with him in any way.

When he was done with school, he was staying there for some extra classes and then my neighbour, Travis offered to pick him up because he does pick up his son at the same time as well.

Ian usually spends his time there till I get home.

While we live on the fourth floor, they live on the second floor.

I was thankful that Travis was generous enough to do that. He was working from home so he had more time.

I pushed my glasses higher on my nose and did my hair in a messy bun. My head started to hurt while I tiredly stared at the lit up screen.

My boss sure knew how to overwork his employees. I worked at a pretty prestigious restaurant as a waitress. It was the only job I had for now. My side job I had as a digital designer was out of the picture. It was what I majored in college but finding a full time job for it was hard.

At least for me. Well now that I had Ian with me I couldn't afford to work all the time. He needed me here as well.

My waitressing job paid well but definitely not enough.

I tapped my fingers on the keyboard and continued with analysing all of the bills I had to pay.

I only hope I don't fall asleep here on the chair tonight as well. My back can take as much. The couch was already uncomfortable and I didn't need another problem on top of all of the ones I had.

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The clock struck 12 pm and I had one more hour till I have my lunch. My stomach growled because this morning I had no time to eat or even get ready properly.

"Elsie, did you see the new uniforms we will be getting?" Aspen whispered close to my ears and fixed her apron.

"No." I said and ran my hands down my pants. Today wasn't busy. I'm sure costumes will be arriving soon though.

"Lucas showed me a photo and they are so plain. Apparently we won't be able to wear anything extra like jewellery or other things." Oh... I loved wearing colourful clothes. In every one of my outfits, I tried my best to show off my personality.

Even here at work, I was able to wear my colourful scrunchies or hair clips. I even had earrings and rings. The boss never said anything before.

"It's black shirt with a black skirt. Thankfully the skirts are not short. They will probably reach to our knees." I nodded and roamed my eyes around.

"That's a good thing to hear." At my previous waitressing job, I had to wear kind of a... provocative uniform that always made me uncomfortable wherever I had to serve. Especially when there were men.

That's one of the reasons why I quit.

Here luckily the boss was not a pervert. He was nice enough but quite strict.

"By the way, there will be an important dinner tomorrow. Boss said that we will be both required here for the evening shift."

"What? I promised Ian that I was going to take him to the park." My face fell at the realisation that I'll have to disappoint him yet again.

I have been promising to take him out for a while now but I never really got the time to do so.

"I know it sucks." Her shoulders slumped and I saw a couple enter the restaurant and we quickly got to work.

How was I supposed to tell Ian now?

My boy deserved this little trip we planned.

I took a deep breath and continued working with a forced smile on my face. The lunch soon arrived and after we were done, we marched back to work.

Today's shift ended pretty quickly to my luck. The day was flowing by and it was time for me to leave.

I changed my clothes and swung the bag over my shoulder.

As soon as I exited the restaurant, my phone started to ring. Was it Travis? I hope everything's alright with Ian.

When I looked at the screen my mood suddenly got worse. It was Michael. My landlord. I debated for a few seconds if I should pick up or not.

I have been avoiding his calls and I felt like a crap person for doing that.

It was time to actually see what he has to say. I pressed on the button and brought the phone to my ear.

The streets were getting busy and I tightened my fingers around the strap of the bag.

"Hello, Michael."

"Finally you're picking up." I bit my lip in nervousness.

"I'm sorry, with work and everything..."

"Whatever. I just wanted to remind you of the date for the rent. If you're late this time as well, I'm afraid you're gonna have to find yourself a new place. Elisa." My stomach clenched and I closed my eyes shut for a second. And he got my name wrong again.

"I will pay, I promise."

"You have been making a lot of promises dear but you are not living up to them." Tears started to prick my eyes because he was right. I was failing Ian and myself every single day.

"This time I'll pay on time don't worry." He hummed, not being convinced but he didn't said anything else.

I hung up and placed the phone in my bag. My apartment was two more minutes away and I hurried with my steps.

This part of the city was not as bad but still, there were drunk people on the side of the road most of the time.

When I spotted my flat, I basically ran inside and quickly went to Travis' apartment to pick up Ian.

The smile on his face widened when he saw me and I kissed his forehead.

We entered our small home and I let out a sigh.

"Ian remember how I told you we were going to the park tomorrow?"

"Yes, I already chose the toys I'll take with me." He jumped up and down and my heart broke.

I crouched down and ran my fingers through his hair. "Well, my boss said I have to work tomorrow in the evening. We won't be able to... go." The smile that decorated his face immediately fell.

"Can we go another day?" His eyes dropped to the floor at my question and he shrugged his shoulders.

"Okay, Eli." He agreed but I knew how sad he was because of that.

I circled my hands around him and I felt his hands sneak around my shoulders as well.

We did our usual routine and it was his time to sleep. I grabbed my pyjamas and got into the shower.

As soon as the water touched my skin, the tears started to flow down my cheeks. I covered my face with my hands and cried. I bit my lip and let the tears stain my face.

It was the only place where I could. I didn't want Ian seeing me cry or even be sad.

I leaned on the wall and rested my forehead on the cold tiles. Where did I mess up to deserve this?

What did I do for my parents to leave me all alone with Sally?

My breaths hitched but I had to hurry up because the water was starting to get cold.

I got out and dried my hair as best as I could. After I dressed up I put my glasses on and walked towards the living room. I cleaned up what was felt and sat on the couch.

I stayed like that for a while, overthinking.

A few minutes later, I laid my head on the pillow and closed my eyes.

And the first chapter🫶

Thoughts on Elsie?

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