[ CHAPTER 4] - Light headed.

Idiot

I am not into BDSM.

Damsel's eyes widened at the text, he held back a snort as he rubbed his eyes, making sure he wasn't seeing things.

After renaming the unknown number, curiosity set itself, and Damsel wondered how the other had gotten his dirty little hands on his private information. He was literally a fucking idiot.

A small smile smile slithered onto his face as he typed back quickly.

Prince

1st of al, how tf did u gt my n0mbr

2nd, yus u r

Idiot

Is this Damsel? Sorry I think I got the wrong number.

Give the phone back to your mom kiddo.

Damsel furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, What was that supposed to mean? He tapped back quickly.

Prince

am damsel wdym

hey

y r u ignorin me

hello

fuckin knight

Idiot

Wait is this really Damsel?

Damsel frowned as he hesitated for a second,

Huh?

Prince

Yeh u fucktard tf do u min

Fr the last time howd u get m nombr

Damsel noticed that his message was read, but there was no response. He was about to put his phone down  until he heard a ping.

Idiot

Damsel, are you drunk?

He made him wait for a text that long, and that's all he wrote? The other's continuous thread of questions left Damsel frustrated so to speak.

Damsel

no u fucktard anser m kweston

Sure, it wasnt hard seeing as Damsel practically gave his number to anyone he had slept with (alot of people), but it was still unusual.

Idiot

Ive had it since u first got a 'nombr'

Ha-..?

Damsel got his phone back in 8th grade- Could that mean?

Surely not.

There was no way the idiot got his number back then.

Damsel didn't know why Darren had put quotation marks around the word, was it some sort of grammar? He hadnt bothered attending english classes since 4th grade, so he quickly shrugged it off.

Idiot

second of all, I dont like getting sexually abused and tied up.

Therefore I dont have that kink

Holy shit-..

The idiot had looked it up.

At that moment, Damsel let out a heavy laugh, the laugh came from Damsel like a newly sprung leak - timid at first, stopping and starting. From deep inside his chest came a great shaking motion and his face muscles grew tight. Holding his stomach as he looked at the phone in disbelief, his sorrowful tears form before turned into joy.

He scoffed, amused.

Damsel

u rly lve up too ur contact name

With that, Damsel put his phone down, shaking his head in amusement. But the latter didnt notice the smile that had made it's way onto his face when he tried wiping his tears off, only to realize they had dried.  He was practically balling his eyes out just a few minutes ago,

Yet here he was.

His fathers face interrupted his train of thoughts again, souring his mood just as he was starting to feel better, He simply couldn't forget the disappointment and anger that laced his father's cruel words. Another tear threatened to fall, but Damsel sucked it up this time as he lifted himself off the ground where he had sat.

Walking to his closet just beside his bed, Damsel grabbed his favorite pastel pink hoodie with a chibi ice cream printed as a design and changed into comfy sweats.

He never understood how people went to sleep naked, imagine all the small bugs and mosquito biting down your skin, not to mention he had always been scared of spiders crawling into his butt hole. His worst fear, probably. Which is why he was always fully clothed and protected when in bed.

He winced as he accidentally touched his cheek, bruises that he had acquired from his fight with Darren. Just the thought of the Idiot stole another laugh from Damsel, but it was quickly replaced with resentment.

Darren was the reason why Damsel was scolded.

Bastard.

The pain kept growing, anywhere he touched hurt like a bitch, he would know, his head had even bled after the head-butt, and he felt himself drowning in discomfort, Darren's punches deserved the credit.

He was definitely going to have to go to the nurse's office if the pain kept up.

He had already gone to the hospital after the whole incident, but the doctor said to come everyday for check-ups and prescriptions, but it didn't change the fact his head was killing him.

Fucking fuck-tard of a fucked up fuckity knight.

After tidying himself up and brushing his teeth, he dove onto his bed hoping to finally fall asleep after a long day, cursing the other out continuously.

1..

2..

3-

He couldn't sleep.

No matter what, he just couldn't.

He lay awoke thinking about the all the events that had happened in throughout the day; from his tantrum, to beating up Samuel without knowing his identity, to getting into a fight with Darren, and-

A blush rose up Damsel's pale cheeks as he covered his face with the palm of his hands in embarrassment.

Blushing would have been no problem, but what he did was go as red as a beetroot and radiate heat like a hot pan. You could have cooked a three course meal on his face. No-one could have missed it. At this moment, he wanted the earth to open up and swallow him whole.  But there was no rescue from this embarrassment. It was absolute. Torture.

Utter humiliation.

The memory would be seared into his brain forever, ready to pop up and torment him again in the future. He screamed into the pillow with all his might, covering his face with the soft duvet after the thought of Darren again.

What the fuckkkkk-

He cringed at the memory when he felt the hairs on his arm rise up, remembering how Darren had grasped his neck with force, closing his airways, how perfectly the holder's fingers had curled around his neck easily, how the other's nails had dug into his skin, The face Darren was making, how his eyes were staring right into his soul as they were clouded with utter blackness and dominance.

How he couldn't move.

Scratch that,

He could've moved actually-

He didn't want to move.

Because no matter how much Damsel tried denying it, he knew,

He knew deep down,

That he had enjoyed it.

He wasn't going to deny that.

He wasn't going to deny every single thing that could forward the plot, just to drag the series out for reads,

No.

He fucking enjoyed getting strangled.

He let out a shaky breath as his eyes squeezed shut tight, as if he were trying to shut the memories out. He just wanted to die right at this moment so he wouldn't have to deal with the embarrassment he was feeling.

I fucking moaned!

He screamed into his pillow in frustration for what seemed like the billionth time that day.

30 minutes passed, he couldnt sleep.

45 minutes passed, he was tossing and turning.

60 minutes, and he was counting the tiles on his ceiling.

In the end, he grabbed his phone as if he were out of options.

He couldnt believe what he was just about to do,

"What does it mean if you felt pleasure when you were strangled?"

Ah fuck, what was he even doing?

His eyes squinted at the brightness of his screen, so he turned down the brightness as he clicked on the first link that appeared.

"If you feel as though you enjoy the feeling of pain sexually, and feel pleasure, it is likely that you are a Masochist."

Damsel cocked an eyebrow, a coat of blush rushing to his cheeks as he refused to acknowledge what he had just read.

But he continued nevertheless.

Ah fuck this, I'll just delete my history later.

In Psychiatry. a person who has masochism, the condition in which sexual or other gratification depends on one's suffering physical pain or humiliation. a person who is gratified by pain, degradation, etc., that is self-imposed or imposed by others. a person who finds pleasure in self-denial, submissiveness, etc.

Fuck.

It was a perfect match.

Shit.

He wanted to deny it, he really did,  but he knew deep down that what he felt completely matched this description, and that thought was what was horrific. Damsel thought back to the intense shots of pleasure that he had indulged in when the older had completely curled his hand around the younger's throat. His curiosity drew him to another icon.

Related searches.

His eyes widened,

Sadist.

He tapped.

He was definitely gonna have to delete his search history later.

Sadist: a person involved with BDSM, who derives pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting pain or humiliation on others.

A smirk grew on his face,

If he was going to be embarassed, he might as well bring someone down with him. He snickered childishly, As he pressed down to copy and paste, his fat nub of a thumb accidentally tapped a link.

He stiffened.

He was  taken to a website with ropes and adult toys on sale, many pictures of NSFW contents spread all around, a section for smutty novels,mostly gay, and around the topic of BDSM, Paired with porn links and videos on another section.

Holy shit!

His mouth was agape as he stared in shock, but he was brought back to reality when he heard moans escaping from the screen.

His phone was at max volume aswell!

He tried closing the tab, tapping at 900km/h, only to be bombarded with more loud, endless, moaning applications and advertisements with explicit scenes that he was sure would lead to a virus on his phone.

Shit shit shit!

Holy shit!

In the end he had to hurriedly take the battery out from the back of his phone as his face flushed with embarrassment. He hadn't meant to do it, anybody could tell by the look of mild shock on his face and by his cheeks that flushed pink.

Oh my fucking god-

Heat rising to his ears as he felt like he had seen something he shouldn't have. He had hoped his walls were sound-proof enough, he was living in a goddamn pack house!

People actually go on those websites to beat their meat..

What the fuck was wrong with these bastards?

It took him about 30 minutes to calm down, he was extremely embarrassed, but he didn't know why, he was a fucking sex machine, it's not like he was a virgin stumbling upon porn, but he wasn't used to the sight of males-

Oh dear god-.

He knew what BDSM was, but he had never really searched into it. Damsel adjusted the ring on his finger as he fiddled. Letting out a frustrated sigh, he grabbed his phone again.

He re-attached the battery, and just as he was going to finally go to bed, an idea grew.

Holy fucking crap.

A smirk plastered his face, he opened chrome again, finding the link.

He quickly tapped on the first gay porn link and copied it.

He sent it to Darren.

Thinking back to what he had read among those disgusting articles he had stumbled upon, he remembered the shitty kink that turned people on. His sex partners would often use the word aswell.

Daddy.

He didnt understand how people would find it hot honestly speaking, it just seemed like they had unresolved childhood issues.

Pft- as if he didnt.

Damsel

I love my daddy.

He typed

'My superhero.'

He finished the sentence in his head.

Damsel deleted his search history and went to sleep snickering like the petty bastard he was.

-

-

-

The never-ending pinging sound of notifications engulfed Damsel's pale ears as he groaned into his pillow. The vibration of his phone next to his head had been annoying him since last night.

Slowly and reluctantly, Damsel uncovered his face. He blinked as if trying to get accustomed to his blinking surroundings, closing his eyes, and blinking again. He wiggled his feet under the soft mattress as if it was an attempt to get up, but his eyes had closed completely shut.

Then it hit.

Damsel gasped as he practically threw himself off the bed, eyes widening.

The pain shot up his head like fire. He cringed. It exploded in his head with a blinding whiteness. It made him dizzy. It made him reel. The pain was like needles that had been dipped in alcohol had been jammed through his skull, like his brain had been replaced with ice and electricity wired straight into it. He let out a long breath of agony as he gasped for air, he dug his nails into his skin as he felt the purge of pain lessening,

Bare with it,

Just a little more,

Shit..

He finally released his pent-up breath, shaking the atmosphere as he felt his stiffened shoulders relax.

Fuck-..

The sirens of pain in his head had been much worse than yesterday, Damsel had barely gotten a wink of sleep because of it. It wasn't to this extent before, but he felt hazy nonetheless.

-

-

-

Unlike other days, Damsel took the first pair of clothes he saw in the closet, whilst usually he'd take at least 1 hour getting ready to look 'perfect' as he called it, But today he was so exhausted to the point of dragging his feet across his bedroom floor. He didn't even bother to look in the mirror as he just ran his fingers through his hair, trying to untangle the mess. Seeing that his fingers kept getting stuck, he just gave up, splashing his face with water and changing. He brushed his teeth and convinced himself to walk down the long stairway he had been dreading since yesterday.

Damsel reached the door that led to the kitchen, yet he didn't make any movements to open it. He simply stared.

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes to mentally prepare himself for what was to come, he pulled the door knob, opening the door slowly.

The kitchen was quiet.

Cold sweat glistened on his furrowed brow. With hands clasped tightly in front of his stomach he constantly fiddled with his knuckles, weaving his fingers in and out of each other.

His dad wasn't in, like usual

his brothers weren't home,

like usual,

His mother was out,

Like usual.

The chef was cooking, the sounds of the egg in the frying pan crisping up and echoing in the kitchen

Like usual,

His pack members had already left for school or work

Like usual,

And Matt sat 3 chairs away from where Damsel always sits, across the room.

Unlike usual.

At that moment, damsel felt his walls breaking down,

He tried to focus on his breathing, but the anxiety bubbles inside his rib cage gurgled, he felt sick to his stomach.

It didn't help that he was a bit faint-headed from the injury, and it only made it worse when the sound of a stool scraping against the floor infultrated the younger's sensitive ears, it was echoing in his head like some sort of siren.

Matthew got up from his stool, wiping his mouth as he didn't even bother giving Damsel a once-over.

"I lost my appetite." He said blankly, throwing a side-glance towards the younger, grabbing the strap of his bag from under the table, and brushing past damsel, colliding their shoulders, most likely on purpose.

Damsel stumbled back, agony written all over his face as he saw his one and only friend treat him like nothing more than a speck of dust.

Years of friendship,

His whole life actually.

His brother since birth,

The stress spread through his mind like ink on paper. he took in a deep, ragged breath before placing his hands, enclosed together, onto the table. The door behind him slammed close.

He stayed silent, as if scared to make an ounce of noise,

I seriously fucked up.

Damsel propped himself down onto his chair, nibbling on his bottom lip nervously and adjusting the ring on his finger. Even the chef didn't look at him like the previous days.

"Carlos, I'd like cereal today." Damsel broke the awkward  silence.

He was sitting bleary-eyed the table, munching his way slowly through a mouthful of cereal. Suddenly, for no apparent reason, he stopped munching. His jaw went slack. Milk dribbled out of his mouth. His eyes glazed over blankly and his head nodded forward.

Next thing -

whomp!-

his head landed right smack in the bowl in front of him.

He was a whole mess.

The literal meaning.

-

He let the milk stay in his hair, and he didnt bother washing his face again.

"Vanilla as usual?" The cheery golden-headed boy in front of him grinned with his squinted eyes as his cute cheeks pushed up, opening the ice cream parlor and leaning against the windowsill to get a good look at Damsel.

There was something inviting in the soft-looking blonde boy combined with a gentleness that made people want to approach him, he was completely the opposite of Damsel, he could definetly be mistaken for a woman if he had a more puffed out chest.

There was kindness in his smile, a gentleness. It was the smile of one who laughed with ease and saw person under the behavior, a soul-connector. He was the kind of person who lived how he believed people should, as if he were sunshine that only radiated from the best aspects of those he met, their flaws entirely invisible to his gaze. He was a calm sea, dancing birdsong and the new buds of spring. Yet, most of all, he was Damsel's friend.

Jamie Brooks, A human.

"Yeah.." Damsel's voice came out a bit raspy, probably because of how  tired he looked.

"You look like you've gone through hell and come out barely alive." The petite boy remarked, smirking as he took a cone out from one of the boxes stacked up in the white van.

At least someone was treating him normally.

"Tell me about it." Damsel rolled his eyes,

At times like these, Damsel wished he could be an ordinary human.

"Did someone cum on your hair or something?"

Damsel threw a glare at the boy.

Damsel's hair look like a bird's nest, yet it still complimented his big doe blue eyes that had pink pigments underneath them, and bags plastered as if he had smudged mascara, even though he never used any makeup. The boy's face said he didn't care about anything or anyone; the state of his hair said his feelings extended to himself. What should have been glossy brown curls was a fractious mess of tangles dulled by the city smog. If a cat had eaten his hair and puked it back out, then let it dry in the sun, it would look just the same; the tangle would take hours to brush out.

He dropped a dollar on the counter, taking his ice cream as the other boy radiated a smile.

"It's fine, you look cute."  He smiled again, ruffling up damsel's curls, the compliment piercing daggers into damsel's already non-exist confidence.

He felt goosebumps rising, the boy looked gay already, did he like damsel possibly?

Gross.

"I'll be back tomorrow." Damsel informed, avoiding eye contact as he licked his icecream.

The blonde boy merely observed the sensual movement of damsel's tongue licking the swirl of flavior, eyes darkening a bit as he leaned against the sill with his palm supporting his chin. He wore a questionable smirk.

"See you~" Jamie dragged the word, amusement clear. "And tell the dude not to cum on your hair again!"

Damsel scoffed.

"Seriously, it looks like bird shit!"

-

Ah.. Ice cream.

The only thing that would boost his mood,

he went to school humming.

-

The halls were crowded with people, and the chaos was so perfect, like a movie. There was the couple that was always making out on the left side of the hall, and about ten feet farther down, the cliquey girls. Opposite them, the cliquey jocks, and between them, the parade of band geeks with their huge instrument cases. There were the aerospace tech kids who never did anything but make paper airplanes and the fashion kids that wheeled mannequins and clothing racks down the halls.

Laughter sounds along the halls, joined with excited conversations and shouts. Model worthy girls huddled together like exotic birds gossiping and giggling, a football fly's above their heads between two jocks in varsity jackets parading their toned muscles. Groups of high schoolers spread all  around the hall laughing and causing all kinds of ruckus, all except one group that was tapping away on their phones with massive headphones which appear to be permanently strapped to their heads.

Of course, everything and everyone paused.

Even the lights seemed to sense the tension, as they'd normally be flashing on and off due to the school's budget, but even they stopped malfunctioning.

As if the spotlight was on the boy that appeared before the door.

Damsel dragged his feet through the doors, in which everyone turned like snap backs, staring at him as the halls fell quiet, quiet enough to hear a drop of water splash against the ground.

Searing fiery bursts pulsated from his head, intensifying with each dragging step, jarring and brutal. With each step the pain amplified, the bloody muscle quivered, his consciousness ebbed. Black mists swirled at the edges of his mind.

"Holy shit!"

"He still has the audscity to show his face?"

"Cunt."

His throat went dry.

"Fucking manwhore."

The boy clenched his fists.

"Darren dealt with him good."

Ha..

"Got what he deserved."

Shut up.

His pounding head thundered.

"Here he comes."

Fuck off

Sirens went off.

"Look at how messed up he looks!"

Shut the fuck up already,

"His face is bruised up like hell-."

Shut up!

"Did a bird shit on him?"

His head throbbed. The pain felt like someone had taken a knife to his skull. He leant his head  down. Squeezing his eyes shut, he willed the pain to go away. The rest of the world became detached, all he could concentrate on was the pain rooted deep in his head.

"Problematic."

Please..

He could barely hear the people chattering around him. All he felt, all he knew was the pain of that moment.

"Did you hear about the stunt he pulled yesterday?"

I'm begging you-..

The constant chitter chatter broke into his head space, he felt as though his ears were being robbed of their abilities as the never-ending pounding of his heart engulfed his senses,

"Darren should've finished the job."

Please stop.

"What's the point of him even attending school?"

Stop..

"I know right? He's just being an eye-sore."

Why did he feel his eyes pricking up?

Shut up,

A vein popped.

Shut up,

Then two.

Shut up,

Shut up,

Shut up,

Shut up

Shut up shut up shut up!

Anger rose.

The amount of eyes piercing through him made him feel  weak in his knees, the sudden amount of attention left his throat dry. He felt like he was suffocating under their judging stares.

Right,

He deserved this.

I deserved this.

He deserved to know his place.

I deserved to know my place.

I bet this is what everyone else thinks of me as well.

Right, mathew probably feels this way.

"Fucking die already-.".

"SHUT UP!"

The prince finally snapped.

He inhaled, his voice coated with an unusual tone.

"Shut the fuck up already!"

He side-fisted a punch at the wall next to him, causing a speck of dust to fall from the force he used, there was a crack.

The air turned so brittle that it could snap, and if it didn't,  Damsel did already. No-one spoke, what was there to say?

His pack members had lightly lowered their heads, whilst the humans just stood silent at his tone.

It was similar to Darren's tone,

yet not as strong.

What was this sudden force he had let out?

The air around him tossed and turned, his vision becoming hazy as he felt like he was hallucinating with the pang of daggers as stares pointed his way. He felt his throat swell up with the amount of eyes directed at him, usually he would pay no mind at the attention, but the pang of guilt eating him up inside stated otherwise.

He wanted to cry.

Yet no tears came.

Why couldnt he just fucking cry?

The crowd suddenly shifted,  cleared a way for a certain figure to walk through. A furious looking figure was running up towards him.

But the pain came back before he could try to focus on the figure heading his way.

His pain was an icy wind choking the breath from his head and making a noose around his brain. It's savage, bitter blasts cut right to his eye-sight and gripped his brain in it's freezing claws. His heart constricted in it's wake as if not sure if it should go on beating.

though he couldn't see, nor hear,

He knew who the latter was as the vibrations of the floor stated clearly,

17 years of his life was spent in the latter's presence, how could he not know who it was?

Ah-..

Darren.

He was coming closer and closer.

He must be pissed about the link-

Just as darren was closing in on him, He was blinded with flashing colorful spots and craved darkness, quite and stillness. The ill erring nausea overwhelmed him as the circular patterns of pain would throbbed so violently around his skull that he wondered why it didn't just crack open at that moment. He felt light-headed as a sudden rush of exhaustion ran over him, as if his whole body had been trampled on by a train, he felt his muscles lose their control as he slowly, in his eyes, fell back.

The other's face scrunched up in agony, his mouth moving,  but no words coming out. Damsel couldn't hear as the other paced up. Everything was zooming in slow motion, the older's face blurred, the buzzing gasps of the crowd fell silent. At this point Damsel reached out with the last ounce of strength he had mustered up, his hand grabbing at the air though he tried to reach out to Darren,

A bead of a tear slowly slathered down his pale cheek,

And like a puppet suddenly released of their strings,

Damsel Prince collapsed.

-------

Dear readers,

I'm sorry, normally I don't like adding notes to my chapters, but I had to say this because I wanted to share my feelings.

This chapter means so much to me.

It's personal.

The reason this took so long to write was because I didn't know how to deliver the last scene.

I just couldn't write it out as I imaged in my head, no matter how hard I tried.

I wanted to portray the fact that even though the protagonist was heartless and childish, and no matter how much he put himself out there. He was still a human with emotions.

And he did get affected by hate.

Like all of us.

People might not think much of it the first few times,

But the longer it continues

The more they start to believe in those cruel words.

I'm still a new author, and I tried my hardest to write it out as I imagined in my head. But I still feel like I failed.

Because as I was writing that scene, I started crying.

I cried for damsel.

I cried because I seriously pitied him.

Because I know there are people going through this shit irl.

If only I was better at writing, maybe, maybe I could've delivered the same emotions I felt as I was writing this, to you readers.

But alas I'm still learning.

Lots of love,

-villie.