45

Chapter 45

"I love you." Richard said, his eyes searching mine for an answer.

I froze. His words echoed in my mind, tangling with the mess of thoughts and feelings I'd been trying to ignore.

This wasn't supposed to happen. Not now. I wasn't ready for this.

"Uh—" Before I could respond, a knock on the door startled us both.

"Richard? I heard you're back," Mrs. Preston called from the other side. I heard the door creak open.

Panic set in. I instinctively bolted for the bathroom, barely closing the door before her voice filled the room.

"You never responded to our messages," she said.

I pressed my back against the bathroom wall, heart pounding. Wait. Why did I hide here? I work here. I could've said I was helping Richard with his bags or organizing something. I facepalmed myself for not thinking this through. Now if she finds me here, it'll look more suspicious.

"Sorry. I was busy," Richard replied.

"Anyway, Andrea's asking if you're going to watch the game."

"I was about to respond to her invitation."

"I already said we're going. She's excited to see you. Wear something nice."

"Fine. By the way, can we bring Carl along?"

"Of course."

Footsteps approached the bathroom.

Shit.

"Where are you going?" Richard asked quickly.

"I think I have something stuck in my eye," Mrs. Preston replied.

"Don't go in there!" Richard blurted, his voice a bit too panicked.

"Why not? I really need to rinse my eye. It's starting to itch."

"I just took a dump," Richard said, somewhat desperate. "It's stinks in there!"

"Relax. It's not like I haven't changed your diapers before." she said, chuckling as she walked closer.

I'm doomed. There was no place to hide since the shower was made of glass. I have to think of an excuse fast.

Grabbing a roll of toilet paper, I quickly sprayed air freshener around the room, closed the toilet lid, and stood by the sink, pretending to be mid-task.

The door swung open.

"Carl!" Mrs. Preston exclaimed.

"Richard needed a toilet paper refill," I said smoothly, placing the roll on the dispenser even though I'd just taken it from there moments ago.

She smiled, amused. "Well, it smells lovely in here. Good job freshening up the room." She leaned over the sink to splash water on her eyes.

I grabbed my chance to escape. "I'm done here. Have a good night, Mrs. Preston."

As I slipped out, Richard and I exchanged a brief glance. His lips twitched, as if suppressing a laugh, but my heart was still racing. Whew. That was close.

When I reached my room, I collapsed onto the bed, clutching my chest. My heartbeat was still racing. I wasn't sure if it was from almost getting caught or because of Richard's words.

Moments later, my phone buzzed with a message.

Richard:

You don't have to say it back.

I'll wait if I have to.

I love you.

I thought back to the way he looked at me when he said those words, like I was his entire world. And maybe that was what scared me. How could I ever live up to that?

I rubbed my hands over my face, frustrated by the conflict between my head and my heart. I wanted to believe I could love him without consequences, but nothing about us was simple. Our situation is still complicated.

Misty jumped onto the bed, curling up beside me as if she sensed my distress. I hugged her close, letting her soft purring slowly lull me to sleep.

*******

Richard didn't mention the confession again, and we acted as if nothing had changed. But it wasn't easy. Every time he smiled at me or brushed his hand against mine, my chest tightened with guilt.

Why couldn't I just tell him what he wanted to hear?

The day of the charity event arrived, and I still couldn't understand why Richard insisted I come along. It was just a charity lunch and a friendly polo game, where Andrea would also be playing. At least I got to drive one of the Prestons' fancy cars. Richard sat beside me in the passenger seat, while his parents chatted quietly in the back.

We arrived at the country club, where white tents lined the field and groups of well-dressed guests mingled. I recognized several prominent business figures.

"Richard!" Andrea called out, her face lighting up when she saw him. She looked stunning in her polo gear, her hair neatly tied back. She walked over and hugged him. "I'm so glad you're here."

The sight of them together stirred an uncomfortable feeling in my chest. They looked perfect, with his parents beaming in approval.

Andrea turned to me and smiled. "Hi, Carl."

"Hello," I said, my voice tighter than I intended.

The Prestons headed to the registration booth to fill out some forms, leaving me alone with Andrea.

"Carl," she said softly. "You're close to Richard, right?"

I nodded cautiously. "Yes." I replied. I had a bad feeling about where this was going.

"Has he ever mentioned me?"

I shook my head. "No, not really. Why?"

She glanced over at Richard, then leaned in closer.

"I've been dropping hints... but I'm not sure if he's picking up on them."

"What do you mean by that?"

She hesitated, chewing on her bottom lip. "I'm in love with him," she admitted, her voice barely audible. "Do you know I actually convinced my dad to approve the partnership for the diagnostic scanners because I thought it would bring us closer."

My throat tightened.

"He probably doesn't remember, but when we were kids, he once told me he'd marry me someday." She smiled wistfully. "I guess I've been holding onto that memory."

The lump in my throat grew heavier.

"Please don't tell him I said this," she added quickly. "But if he ever hints at liking me, could you give him a little push?"

Richard returned before I could respond.

"You guys alright?" he asked, his gaze flicking between us.

"Yes." I said, forcing a smile. But inside, I felt like I was cracking.

"Can you come with me to the stables?" Andrea asked sweetly, wrapping her arm around his.

Richard glanced at me, as if silently asking for permission. I gave him a quick nod. As they walked away, I swallowed the bitter taste rising in my throat. I felt sick.

Why did this hurt so much? Why did the idea of him with Andrea feel like a knife twisting in my chest?

I joined his parents in the bleachers, but my mind was elsewhere, consumed by the storm brewing inside me.

I tried to focus on the game, but my gaze kept wandering to the stables, where Andrea and Richard had disappeared. The way she clung to his arm, the way she smiled at him, it all replayed in my head like a loop I couldn't shut off.

I shouldn't be feeling like this. It wasn't like I had any right to be jealous.

I exhaled sharply and leaned back on the bleacher, forcing myself to watch the polo match. Andrea's parents, Melinda and Daniel Hawthorne, arrived shortly after, both exuding the same air of refinement and old-money charm as the Prestons.

"Melinda! Daniel!" Mrs. Preston greeted them warmly, standing up to exchange kisses on the cheek.

"Ah, there's the happy couple," Daniel said, beaming as he glanced toward the field where Andrea and Richard had just returned, standing side by side near the horses. "Don't they look perfect together?"

I clenched my hands into fists, keeping my expression neutral.

"They do," Mrs. Preston agreed, her voice filled with pride. "Andrea looks radiant today, doesn't she?"

"She certainly does," Melinda added, smiling warmly. "And Richard, such a handsome young man. They complement each other so well."

I felt like shrinking into my seat. Every word they spoke chipped away at me, making me feel smaller and more out of place.

Daniel chuckled, his gaze shifting between the Prestons and his wife. "You know, maybe it's time to revive history. The Preston-Astor merger was one of the greatest moves in business. Imagine combining the Preston fortune with the Hawthorne legacy. We'd have another powerhouse dynasty on our hands."

Mrs. Preston laughed, clearly entertained by the idea. "It's funny you say that, Daniel. Richard and Andrea did have that adorable little 'wedding' when they were children."

I wanted to disappear. My fingers curled around the edge of the bleacher, nails digging into the wood. The thought of Richard with Andrea, his arm around her, their families beaming with pride... it's suffocating.

"You're not wrong," Daniel added with a grin. "Business-wise, it'd be perfect. And with the way they look together? I'd say it's fate."

The weight of their words pressed down on me. I tried to remind myself that Richard had said he loved me, not Andrea. But right now, with everyone talking about how perfect they were together, that felt like a distant, fragile memory I couldn't hold onto.

I glanced back at the field. Andrea had taken Richard's arm again, leading him toward the horses as they prepared for their match. She laughed at something he said, her head tilting back, and he smiled in response. It's one of those genuine smiles that made my heart ache.

I was an outsider here. The hired help. Of course, I didn't belong in their world of wealth and expectations.

Richard caught my eye for a brief moment, but I looked away before he could see the turmoil brewing inside me.

Daniel continued, "If the two of them ever decide to make things official, they'll have my blessings. How about you Nathan?"

My throat tightened. I couldn't stay here. I needed air.

"Excuse me," I said, standing abruptly. "I just need to check on something."

I walked away, keeping my head down as I navigated through the crowd. My chest ached, and my breaths came out shallow as if the weight of everything around me was suffocating. I didn't stop until I reached the parking lot, leaning against one of the cars and closing my eyes.

I didn't cry, but I felt close to it. My fingers trembled as I gripped the side of the car, replaying the conversation over and over again.

Andrea was perfect. She came from the right family, had the right look, and their parents adored her.

And me? I was the butler.

How could I ever compete with that?

I pulled out my phone, staring at Richard's last text.

I love you.

For the first time, those words felt like a burden instead of a comfort.