Chapter 32

Rameen

I spent the next day in bed. Rania went to work after preparing breakfast for us. Asjad had left late last night. They both had not said anything to me regarding Waleed after the initial conversation.

My morning sickness was getting worse each passing day. I hadn't slept well last night. My dreams were haunted by Waleed and Jeena and I was mad at myself, for letting Waleed in my heart.

Love was a stupid emotion, it only gave heartbreak in the end. I had been wise enough to stay away from it for my whole life. If I would have married Imaad, I am sure I might never have fallen in love with him.

Look what love had brought me, heartbreak. Stupid, stupid love. Why, just why had I fallen in love with that arrogant asshole? I had told him that I would get an abortion today, but still, I was lying in bed unsure of what my future might behold for me.

I heard a knock on the door, I looked at the watch it was six in the evening. I hadn't realized the whole day had passed. I had just eaten a little Poha (a dish prepared out of beaten rice) for breakfast that Rania had prepared and had not bothered with lunch.

"Come in," I sat up in bed.

Rania peeped inside pushing the door open, "Hi, I brought your favorite donuts."

My mouth watered at the name of donuts, and my empty stomach growled in excitement. Rania walked to the bed and handed me the box of donuts. I opened the box hungrily, eyeing the half dozen donuts with different frosting.

"Marry me," I joked.

"I would love to. Let's ditch our husbands, they both are just pain in the ass for us," she replied.

"Agreed," I laughed at her reply.

I picked up a donut and dug into it. The chocolate frosting melted in my mouth. These donuts were heaven. I was having a foodgasm.

"These are the best donuts, I ever had," I told Rania.

"There is this small bakery near my office. They are perfect at everything," she smiled.

We chatted about work, while I ate four out of the six donuts. Rania refused to eat any, she said she was on a diet. Too bad for her, I don't think I could ever give up donuts for anything.

I knew that she wanted to talk to me regarding Waleed but was hesitating. I was in a good mood after the treat I just got and didn't want to spoil my mood.

"So what have you thought?"

The cat was out of the bag. I knew I couldn't avoid the discussion for long. I will have to come up with a decision. Right now, I just didn't want to think about anything.

I was hit by a sudden wave of nausea before Rania could say anything further, I jumped out of the bed and ran to the bathroom. I emptied my stomach, while Rania held my hair. She rubbed my back as I rinsed my mouth with water and then mouth wash.

"I hate being pregnant," I exclaimed lying down on the bed again.

All the donuts that I had eaten must be floating in the sewage tank. What a waste of hard-earned money.

"You should see an obstetrician for your morning sickness," Rania advised.

I had been thinking about the same thing for the last two weeks since I had found out that I was pregnant. My nausea was getting worse day by day. If I kept throwing up food like this, it won't be good for the baby.

"I still have not decided, what I want to do with the baby," I told Rania honestly.

"Why do you want to punish an innocent soul, for someone else's mistake? It's not the baby's fault if Waleed is a douchebag," she said.

"I don't know Rania, I want to be a mother. I love kids, but I don't think I could raise my child singlehandedly without the father. I am sure my family, would stand with me in every decision I make. Still, I don't want to raise a child without its father," I broke down again.

Damn this pregnancy hormone, they were being a pain in the ass for me. I never had cried this much in my entire life. I hated Waleed for getting me pregnant and now chickening out of it. I wish I could go back in time and undo my pregnancy. I didn't like the idea of getting an abortion but I don't think I have any choice. I don't want a child if the father doesn't even want to acknowledge that it's his child.

"Relax Mia, you don't have to make a decision now. Think about it, you still have time. I think you and Waleed should sit and talk, getting an abortion is not the solution. You might only regret your decision in the future, trust me you will never forgive yourself if you abort your child, " Rania held my hand in her mad stroked it with her fingers.

I hugged her and my crying only increased. I was witnessing one of the most beautiful wonders of life. I was pregnant, another individual was growing inside me. I had been so excited about getting pregnant. I always had wished for more siblings, but unfortunately, my mother couldn't conceive after my birth.

I got mad again at Waleed, if not for that asshole I would have been so happy for getting pregnant. He had ruined all my happiness with his accusation. I hate him. I really hate him.

I didn't want to admit but it hurts. He is the only man that I had ever loved and had given power over me and look where it got me. He abused the power he had over me and had hurt me so badly, I don't think that I could heal ever again.

"I don't want to see his face ever again in my life," I declared.

"I know you are mad at him right now, but Mia, think about it from his point of view. Men are possessive and territorial, and Waleed of all people is an alpha male. They feel threatened even if anyone as much looks at their woman.

What happened at the beach house, have hurt him. He loves you Mia and seeing you with another man has hurt his alpha ego. You just can't blame only him for whatever happened. He is just a victim like you, he was played by Jeena.

I agree that Waleed should have given you a chance to explain. He shouldn't have accused you right away of cheating, but think about it. You always brag about how you don't believe in love, how is he supposed to know that he is the most important person for you?"

Rania's words were sinking in my mind, I know most of the things that she said were correct. Whatever happened was not entirely Waleed's fault, still, I expected that he trusted me. It was a blow for me, to know that my husband didn't find me trustworthy enough to give me a chance for an explanation before accusing me of cheating.

"I know a gynecologist, we can go and see her if you want, tomorrow. You will need to get some medication for your nausea," Rania said changing the topic.

I nodded in reply, still thinking about what she had said earlier. Maybe, I should not hurry with my decision of getting an abortion. First I need to decide what I wanted to do with my marriage, getting an abortion can come after that.

The next morning after breakfast, I walked into the maternity clinic alone. Rania had insisted to come along with me but I had told her I would be fine. I didn't want to disturb her more than I wanted, she and Asjad had done already so much for me that I didn't want to bother them more.

The clinic was crowded, there were many ladies in the waiting area, consisting of all age groups. There were a few couples, I noticed that everyone was accompanied either by their husbands or by some lady relative or friend. I was the only one alone in the waiting area.

I felt a pang in my heart if only Waleed could have not acted like that and accepted it, he would have been here with me, or at least I would have asked my mom to come with me. I felt my eyes moisten again, I had been a mess in the last two days, I couldn't control my tears, I started crying without any reason, it surely had to do with my hormones, but Waleed's accusations were on top of the list.

I don't want to say it, but I was missing him, I wished he was by my side at this moment, motivating and assuring me that everything would be fine, but I don't know where he was, he hadn't even called me since I had left. Though I was waiting for a call or text from him. I was hoping he would at least try to ask me to forgive him.

But I don't think I mattered to him anymore, I think maybe he was happy that I was gone from his life, all his promises and declaration of love, have been just fake.

It was almost an hour since I had arrived at the clinic but still, I was not called by the doctor. I was getting impatient and I didn't like the way the other couples were going all lovey-dovey with each other like they were the first to ever expect a baby.

I stood up from my seat and approached the reception, the receptionist was busy talking to someone on her cell, from the smile on her face it was not difficult to know, who she was talking to, had the whole world been infected with the virus called love? I thought bitterly.

And why it had to be me, who never believed in love, to fall for someone so hard and then got hurt and maybe lose him.

"Excuse me, how much more time it will take for my appointment?" I asked her.

" Your name Mam?" She asked me.

"Mrs. Waleed Kamal," I replied

" Your turn is next mam, please it will just take a few more minutes, " She said, smiling at me.

I was about to turn when someone came and stood beside me, and inquired.

"Is there an appointment in the name of Mrs. Waleed Kamal?"

I could recognize his voice from a million others, without even looking at him. We both turned towards each other at the same moment. Our eyes met and I saw relief spread all over his face, I knew why he didn't recognize me in the first place because I was wearing a Hijab today.

I had worn a hijab in fear if I run into someone, they won't recognize me immediately. Little had I thought that I would run into none other than yours truly Waleed Kamal.

"Thank God,"  The words left his mouth.

" What the fuck are you doing here?" I asked through the clenched teeth.

"Can we go somewhere, to talk, " he asked me.

I looked at him with contempt, who the hell does he think he is? And how the hell did he know, I was here in the clinic? Does he have me followed? Is he stalking me now?

" I don't think we have anything to talk about,"  I snapped.

"You are my wife Mia," Waleed said through clenched teeth, I knew he was trying to suppress his anger.

" Not for long,"  I retorted.

He helplessly looked at me, trying to figure out how he could convince me to accompany him so that he could accuse me of more of adultery.

"Mia please."

I saw his feature soften, but I was not going to fall into the trap.

"I have an appointment with the doctor," I replied.

"I won't allow you to get an abortion," he said in his signature CEO voice.

"Like I need your permission, it's my baby and I would do as I wish with it,"  I said crossing my arms on my chest.

I know I wasn't here for an abortion, but it won't hurt, will it? If he thinks that I am here for one. I had enough of his tantrums in the past one month and it was payback time now.

"Mam, your turn," The receptionist told me.

I arched my brow and looked at him challenging him to stop me if he could. I saw him rub his fingers on his face in frustration, I was glad I hadn't lost my touch. I was still able to rattle his nerves.

I turned and went towards the doctor's cabin, but my confidence was baffled when I saw Waleed following me in my peripheral vision.

Fuck.

If he comes with me into the Doctor's cabin he will know I was not here for an abortion.

"Where do you think you are coming,"  I snarled at him when he was beside me.

And before I could confront him fully, he pushed the handle on the door and was inside, I had no choice but to follow him.

"Mr. Kamal, what a pleasant surprise,"  The lady doctor said as soon as she saw Waleed.

"Hello, Mrs. Rehman," he greeted smiling.

This was the last thing I wanted, the gynecologist to be someone of his acquaintance, I needed to find someone else if I ever decided to get an abortion.

"So, what do we have here?" She asked looking at me.

I greeted her smiling and sat on the chair, opposite to her, she was a middle-aged woman, with soft features and hazel eyes. She looked like a nice lady, too bad I can't visit her again.

"My beautiful wife is pregnant with our first child, and we just came here to make sure everything is fine," he replied smiling.

The doctor asked me some questions, she then referred, some blood tests and a sonogram, which were available in the clinic. She asked us to come back after the completion of those tests.

We walked out of her cabin and went to the lab, where they took my blood. A nurse directed me to the radiologist after that. I was called in for the sonogram after nearly an hour.

The radiologist called us both inside, she asked us if it was our first child, and when we replied with a yes, she looked more excited than we were.

Waleed stood beside the bed,  which the radiologist had directed me to lie on. She spread some cool jelly-like substance on my belly and started moving the head of the object attached to the machine over it. She pointed towards the little image that beeped on the screen and told us that it was our baby.

I looked at Waleed, he was looking at the screen, despite the darkness in the room, I could see how overwhelmed he was with emotions. He looked at me at that moment and I think I saw moisture in his eyes, I pressed his hand which he had placed beside me on the bed.

I don't think I needed any words from him. The expression on his face was enough to depict his inner joy. It was a feeling I don't think I can ever describe. It felt truly amazing to see something that we had made, the most beautiful creation of God. At that moment, I had forgotten that I was mad at him.

We were going to have a baby, our baby. The mere thought of a little bundle of joy in my hand was enough to cloud my eyes with tears. I didn't realize that I was crying with joy, it felt so good to see my baby for the first, no matter if it was on a screen or if it was just an undistinguished mass of tissue right now with a heartbeat.

"Hey," Waleed said as he found me crying.

He leaned and placed his forehead on mine, and gently wiped my tears. It felt so good to be close to him again. All my anger towards him subsided at that moment.

We were connected by a very strong bond with each other now, a bond that we can't break even if we tried.

The radiologist handed me the sonogram images and report after a few minutes, while Waleed collected the blood test reports from the lab.

When we went back to see the doctor, she assured us that everything was fine with my pregnancy. She prescribed me some medication for morning sickness and some vitamins.

"I will hire a cab," I told Waleed after taking the medicines from the pharmacy.

"Mia, I am taking you home, you need to look after yourself," He said grabbing my arm.

" What gave you the impression, I was going to come with you?" I asked pulling my arm back from his grip.

He left my arm, in fear of me getting hurt, my heart softened on this little gesture of affection, while my body protested on the loss of his touch. Damn these hormones, they are going to kill me someday.

"Mia please, I know you are mad and you have every right to be, but please think about our child, all this stress is not good for it," he said gently.

"Excuse me, our child?" I asked with spite.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, I took advantage of it and walked to a taxi standing nearby, and slid into the backseat. I saw Waleed standing on the same spot where I left him and looking at the moving taxi with regret.

I was not mad at him like before, but still, I was not ready to forgive him this easily. If Waleed Kamal wanted to earn my forgiveness, he will have to work for it. I was not in a mood to bestow it on him this easily.

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