: Chapter 35

“HOW’S SHE DOING?” REED asks as he walks into my office and drops into the seat opposite my desk.

“Not great.”

“Shit, man, I’m so sorry. You did the right thing, though. Even though it might not feel like it.”

“It sure as fuck doesn’t feel like it.” I drag my hands down face, knowing my eyes are bloodshot and I look like hell.

After seeing Emily two weeks ago and witnessing her breakdown, I knew I had to do something. I couldn’t leave her like that, knowing she had made an attempt on her life. The second I left, she could have tried to finish the job.

I called my doctor, and he admitted her to a private mental health facility right away. We found all sorts of things in her apartment. Photographs of Gwen and Maria. Small items that belonged to them. She was stalking them, obsessed with them. She had let her pain mutate into something dark and consuming.

When I called her father to tell him what had happened, his response was: “What’s the silly girl gone and done now?” He only grew quiet when I explained everything, including the slashes on her wrists.

Then he broke down.

And in that moment, he sounded so much like his daughter that I had to hold my hand over the phone so he couldn’t hear me cry.

So many mistakes.

So many wrong decisions, misplaced affection, poorly directed attention.

He loves Em. That much was clear by how distraught he was. He’s had the world’s harshest wake-up call, realizing the pain he’s put his own daughter through. The scars he’s given her that she’s spread onto those around her like a disease.

Infected everyone.

Including me.

The one small positive is that Josanna Frederick and Vogue decided not to press charges. It likely has more to do with their mental health awareness campaign and the bad publicity it would cause now that Emily has been admitted. She’s sick, and Josanna’s allergic reaction was an unintended effect of that sickness.

Just another casualty joining the list.

“It’s not your fault, Griff,” Reed says, pulling me back to the present.

“You seem to be saying that to me a lot recently.”

“Because it’s the truth.” He looks at me sadly. “You still haven’t heard from her?”

I blow out a breath, leaning back in my chair as he addresses the elephant in the room.

“No.”

I’ve tried calling, texting, emailing.

Nothing.

I flew to LA and went to her spa in Hope Cove. Her manager, Daisy, was there. She said she hadn’t heard from Maria in a week and that she hadn’t come back there.

I have no idea where she is.

Staying with family or friends, I expect.

Only, the realization that I have no idea where that would be cracks open my heart like a nut in a vise. She told me about her parents being back together. But I have no idea where they live. And I know she has family in England.

But that’s it.

I was too busy doubting her to really listen and discover who she is. And now I’m paying the price.

I have no idea where the love of my life is. Or if I will ever see her again.

“You could always hire the PI to find her?”

Reed’s shoulders shake as I give him a look that tells him what a shit idea that is.

“Sorry.” He holds his hands up. “Just trying to lighten the situation.”

I smirk back at him. “Jerk.”

“Hey, it made you smile, didn’t it? You could consider it, though? Use a different firm, obviously.”

“No.” I shake my head. “I can’t do that to her. I’ve caused her enough pain. I’m not the man she deserves. God, even Gwen took nine months to have the courage to come and see me and tell me to my face it wasn’t her who stole the formulations. I was such an asshole that she couldn’t bring herself to face me in person for all those months.”

“Yeah, you can be one hell of a stubborn and scary bastard when you want to be.” Reed chuckles.

“Thanks,” I mutter.

“Listen.” He rubs a hand along his jaw. “Gwen had her reasons. And it’s all good now. She’s all shacked up and having a baby with her childhood sweetheart. Who“—he arches a brow—”she only reconnected with as a result of running back home after all the scandal broke. So really, she has you to thank for her fairy-tale ending.”

I snort. “You figure?”

I was so happy for Gwen when she came to my office that night. She’s moving on with her life. And she deserves it. We were never right for each other, and the way she looked that night—she was glowing. She looked happier than I’ve ever seen her.

Happier than I ever made her.

She deserves a new start with her old flame she reconnected with when we broke up. I don’t care if it was straight after. We were over long before that. We both knew it. I wish them all the best. Lucky them. Finding each other.

Being free to love one another.

“Griff. I’ve known you years.” Reed leans over my desk, fixing his eyes on mine. He can be a joker sometimes, but when he’s serious, he’s intense. “You love Maria. She’s it for you. I can see it. You think you don’t deserve her? Because you hurt her?” He screws his face up. “That’s a load of shit.”

“I fucked up—”

“Yes! You did. But you can fix it. Be the best man you can be. Do better. Find a way to show her. Do something that speaks to her. Show her you deserve her forgiveness. Fucking beg for it at her feet if you have to! But I swear, if you let a woman that makes you look as happy and alive as you did when you were with her go, then you’re a fucking fool who will regret it until the day he dies.”

“When did you turn into a romantic?” I snort.

He shakes his head with a soft chuckle. “Since I saw the light… and it was pink.”

I narrow my eyes at him and his cryptic answer. “What—”

“Um, Mr. Parker?”

A soft knock on the door—which Reed left open—interrupts us.

“Harley, everything okay?”

She falters in the doorway, her eyes drifting over to Reed and back to me.

“Yes, sorry. I didn’t realize you had company. I just need some signatures. It can wait until later.”

I’m about to tell her not to worry about it and to bring the paperwork over, but she looks at Reed one more time and then disappears before I have the chance.

“You think she heard us?” Reed looks at the empty doorway after her.

“Probably. But it doesn’t matter. She doesn’t know where Maria is.”

His eyes linger on the space where Harley was just standing, before he nods, bringing his eyes back to me.

“Worry about finding her after.”

“After what?” I run my hand down over my tie as I look at him.

“After you’ve worked on yourself. Done things, made changes. Become the man you know she deserves. The man I know you already are.”

He stands and gives me a smile.

“You know what you need to do, Griff. Now fucking believe in yourself and do it.”