Chapter Twenty

Fabian led me through his bedroom door into a huge hallway with a ton of pictures.

He had to keep me up in his arms, since I was far too weak to do so on my own. Still, I didn't mind.

I loved having him hold me like this. I never want him to let go, ever again.

I wish he would've just told me what Colton knew right now, but obviously to him my health is more important.

It's not like I was starving myself on purpose. I didn’t even realize that I wasn’t eating much. I just simply didn't have the appetite.

After what felt like a five mile walk, we appeared in a dining room, where Chad, Alex and an awfully beautiful woman were.

Without anyone even telling me, I knew she was their mom. Fabian resembled her the most, and so did Chad. But Alex looked a bit different.

The woman beamed at us as we walked in. Chad looked pleased that I was doing okay, and Alex had his usual uninterested expression.

Their mom rounded the table after putting a piece of stake in front of Alex, never once letting her gaze stray from me.

"Mom, I thought you weren't coming down tonight," Fabian said with what sounded like slight concern. The sound of his voice had me inclining my head in his direction, and indeed his face looked concerned.

Only God knows why.

"Then how rude of me it would've been to have a guest and be in bed?" This only told me that she is probably sick, and she came down to make dinner only because I was here?

I felt awful.

"I do not wish to be any trouble. I-"

"Nonsense." She waved me off. "It's my pleasure. Please, sit."

With a smile, I obliged and took a seat between Chad and Fabian. She shared me a huge plate of food that I'm sure I couldn’t finish. I guess it's what she's used to, seeing that she had three boys to feed.

Fabian shifted now and then while we ate in silence. I noticed how his eyes would drift to his mom now and then, as if anticipating something.

I held his hand under the table after seeing his discomfort. He met my eyes at contact, and I offered him a small smile of encouragement.

I didn’t know what was wrong with their mom, but it obviously concerned them.

“So this is finally it huh?” she said with a small smile. “I met the girl who has my boy smitten.” Fabian chuckled from beside me, and I couldn’t help but blush at that.

Smitten?

“Tell me more about yourself, Paris.” She urged eagerly, and I gladly gave her a few pointers about myself.

I told her how Fabian and I met, and Chad gladly interjected that it was his rink that caused our ‘heavenly union’.

As if.

Despite everything, soon after we fell into comfortable conversation, and the more we talked, the more confused I became. She didn’t seem sick in any way whatsoever.

Maybe Fabian’s concern must’ve been the fear that his mom might say something embarrassing. Boys do that, right?

“I’m going to go now,” Alex mumbled out of nowhere when Chad made a joke. It was odd, considering everyone else was laughing, even Fabian.

I frowned. “Is he okay?” I asked Kady, since she insisted I call her that.

Alex is just a kid. I don’t believe he should be this… cold.

Kady’s eyes went down casted for a while, before her shoulders began to shake, and I saw that she was crying.

My eyes immediately widened as I grabbed her hand across the table. The last thing I wanted to do was upset her.

But instead of feeling better, she started weeping even louder and Fabian pushed back his chair and started to pull me from mine, but I wasn’t going anywhere until I made her feel better.

I felt awful for making her cry.

But whatever I said was to no avail, because she only began hyperventilating terribly and mumbling stuff under her breath.

I was stuck in a shocked mess as Fabian successfully pulled me from the kitchen as Chad lifted her from her seat. The last thing I heard was a deafening scream breaking through the tense air as the dining room door closed in front of me.

Warm liquid streamed down my cheeks.

What did I do?

“Hey don’t cry,” Fabian mumbled in my ear as he began to lead me to his room again. But how could I not?

“I-I’m sorry,” I managed to say through sobs, and all he did was hush me.

“It’s not your fault. Trust me.” He sighed again. “Please Paris, don’t cry.”

I Shook my head stubbornly. “But I-I brought up Alex. She was fine when he left, but if I hadn’t asked-“

“Paris.” He held onto my shoulders and steadied me in front of him. His eyes were soft and pleading with me to listen, while his entire composure showed me that he was exhausted.

I felt a bit guilty, so despite the pain I felt for his mom, I decided to hear him out.

I nodded once to let him know that I was listening, and he gladly set me on his bed to sit while he locked the door.

“What you saw back there has nothing to do with what you asked. It’s not your fault, you hear me?” The tone of his voice told me that there was no room for protesting, which only got me more curious about what really happened.

I swallowed the ball of spit that accumulated in my mouth before answering. “Okay. But obviously what I said was a trigger to her. What happened?”

He looked unsure for a while. I could tell that this was sensitive. Anyone with eyes could see that. I didn’t want to make him feel like he had to tell me. Besides, he already has something to tell me.

Just when I was about to tell him not to worry about it, he spoke up instead.

“Remember when I told you that I moved from the farm house when I was around five? And that was the time my life changed forever?”

I nodded slowly with a nervous gulp. “Yea?”

“Well… it wasn’t just mine. My mom got pregnant and that changed everything,” his voice was low and his eyes were downcast. I could see that the topic was hard for him.

I wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to. I really did. In fact, he seemed more at ease telling me about what Colton knew.

Still, he didn’t give me a  chance to say anything else.

“As you would’ve noticed, she got pregnant with Alex.”

“Why do you say it as if it was a bad thing?” I asked in utter confusion. I knew his intent wasn’t saying that Alex’s birth was the reason why they moved from his favourite place in the world.

“No I don’t mean like that,” he quickly protested. “But the means by which he was conceived weren’t the…best.” His statement ended with a sigh, and I raised an eyebrow at him as more confusion dawned on me.

“Fabian? What is it?”

I think I already knew the answer, but I didn’t want to accept it. No wonder…

“She was—was taken advantage of. She loved to walk home instead of driving like the rest of us. The wrong person noticed this habit of hers and…you can guess the rest.”

Oh my gosh.

That happened to sweet, sweet Kady?

“Alex knows,” I said, sounding more like a statement than a question as tears flowed from my eyes even more. Fabian’s slight nod told me all I needed to know.

It all makes sense now.

That is no burden for a twelve year old to be facing.

“After my mom and my dad separated, Alex was still too young to remember him. So he never knew a dad, not ours, not his.” The way he said ‘his’ with venom for the man that hurt his mother was greatly understandable.

I only wished Alex didn’t know. At least not yet.

“He always had questions, especially when mom experiences her psychotic episodes. She never wanted him to know, and she never resented him or loved him less either. But sooner or later, we all knew he would learn the truth. The kid is brilliant.”

I could tell. Even by his little words.

“It was only a couple months ago when he learnt the truth, and the worst part was, no one told him. He simply came to the dinner table one day and asked plain and straight. And when mom started crying and screaming, his assumptions were confirmed. He’s never been the same ever since,” he explained with his eyes still down casted as he fiddled with his fingers nervously.

I subconsciously reached for them and twinned mine in his.

“That is no trauma for a boy to be living with. He probably sees himself as a burden to his mom and you all.”

“I know.” Fabian sighed. “We don’t talk about it much, but we try to tell him that mom doesn’t love him any less, and that he is not the reason why she’s like this now.”

I watched as he used his free hand to rub his temples stressfully.

“But only if mom would take the help that we always try to push her to get, then she can make things better for Alex. She loves him, but she can't look him in the eyes too long. She sees the eyes of the man who was holding her down…”

I gulped unintentionally as an involuntary shiver went down my spine. I have never met anyone who has experienced something like this before, and I sure as hell wish I will never experience something like that either.

The very thought made me shiver.

“But when we talk, she cries, feeling guilty that her own son believes she hates him for who his father is. The truth is, she holds him even more dear than me and Chad, because Alex gives a reason to go on. A light in her darkest tunnels.”

Silence fell between us for a while as I chose one question from my bundle of questions in my head.

“So if she wants to make him see that he is not at fault in any way here, why doesn’t she seek help as you say?” I asked carefully, making sure not to sound judgey in any way. That wasn’t my intention. I was merely curious.

Fabian shook his head with what seemed like his millionth sigh for the night. “She’s scared. She’s scared to relive that night while talking with a therapist. When she tried, it was hard for her. Chad and I stood outside the door and had to go get her.” His voice was soft and regretful, and even his eyes shimmered a bit.

My heart broke to pieces.

Earlier I saw that they weren’t a perfect family, but they were sure as hell strong.

“We’ve been trying for years…everything but-“ he didn’t finish his statement. He only closed his eyes and leant his head against the head rest.

Feeling the need to offer him comfort, I snuggled against his chest, keeping our hand intertwined, and I smiled a little when his arm snaked around my waist and pulled me closer to him.

Perfect.

“Just keep trying. Kady’s story doesn’t end like this, and Alex’s story cannot begin like this.”

“But what if it does?” he asked with his voice laced in defeat. I rested my chin against his chest as I inclined my head to look into his face.

“It doesn’t. Because you and Chad are not alone anymore,” I stated confidently and his lips twitched with a small smile.

“really? And why is that?”

“Because I am not going anywhere Mr. Smith. You have my word.” I reached up and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, sealing my promise in place.

“What did I ever do to deserve you, Skates?” I could hear the teasing in his voice, but the sincerity was there too.

I giggled lightly as I readjusted in his arms. “I just have one more question,” I admitted, after having the thought budding in my brain.

“Shoot.”

“The house that you were staying at, was it your family home?”

“Yes.”

“And you guys moved after the…incident. I assume because the memory was too much for Kady?”

“That is correct,” he confirmed and I frowned, looking up to meet his eyes again.

“So, if the house holds such a memory, why is it your safe place?” I really wanted to know. I knew he said it didn’t happen in the house but on the path to the house. But they were still connected, so I would’ve assumed that it would’ve made him want to stay away, not run towards it.

“It does hold the memory. But as I said, it also holds so much more. So many great ones that I would never want to let go of. Besides, it was my grandparents’ home and I couldn’t let it just wither away. What happened to mom sits beyond the walls, yes. But maybe I just need that little ounce of a negative memory, you know? Just for a reminder that this is real life, and real life can be f**ked up sometimes,” he said and I winced at the curse word, but I understood completely.

Sometimes in life, even at your most comfortable place, you might just need a tiny speck of darkness to remind you that life is real. Pain is real.

And inevitable.

“You know what?” I huffed as I shuffled through my bag that Chad supposedly brought to the room with me. I grabbed onto my phone as Fabian watched me weirdly.

“What?”

I didn’t answer him right away. I quickly sent my mom a text telling her that I’m staying over at a friend’s. I knew she wouldn’t question me further, seeing that the only friends I have are Shanae  and most recently, Ariana. So she will automatically assume I’m with one of them.

“I am not going anywhere tonight.” I beamed proudly at him when my phone binged with an ‘ok be safe’.

The look on Fabian’s face was something I wished I could capture forever, but I intend to make it happen more often.

“Are you serious?”

“As the queen.” I giggled as his face broke out in a full-blown grin.

He liked the idea, it seems.

“So, tell me more about five-year-old Fabian,” I urged with a smile, and he gladly went away in a rambling mess about his childhood.

That’s what I hoped for.

Whatever Colton had on him could wait till morning. It’s just one night.

One night I knew he needed a break from anything more depressing.

.

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Announcement!

So I didn't go in detail about Alex's state of mind and stuff, because:

1) I wanted to stay focused on my main characters and

2) Alex is going to have his own story sometime in the future (idk when lol) Called 'I Hit The Bad-boy With My Car'.

Lol yep so this will go in more details about Alex's past trauma, his relationship with his mom and real dad (yikes. motherf***ker) and of course, his own love interest. It will be lit haha I cant wait.

So here's the part ya'll dont wanna hear (dwl)

1) I have no clue when I will write it, probably in a few months and 2) I have no clue what platforms I will post it on, or if I will post it on any platforms at all. Maybe I will just self publish it on Amazon or something. The platforms are getting tedious to me.

But of course, if I have a large enough number of people who would want to read this book in the future, then of course I will post it here too.

So that is all!

Enjoy Fabian and Paris before thinking about Alex lol.

Love Y'all!

For more information about Alex's book, you can keep this story in your library so you can see when i post an update message, or follow my ig @annawriter_muffinbasket. I always post my book launches as well as a trailer for them there.