Chapter Twenty-One

Fabian's  Pov

I watched her sleep like a freaking psychopath.

She looked so beautiful. The most angelic face I’ve ever seen was right in front of me, and I wish it will stay that way forever.

I’m aware that I may seem like a creep, just staring at her sleeping state with her lips slightly ajar and her chest rising and falling in slow breaths.

I’d done the same thing last night too. After hours of talking and cheering me up, she finally fell asleep like this in front of me. I’d watched her sleep for at least an hour before my own slumber took me whole.

Her entire presence radiated peace. And I never want to lose that.

Paris had shown me time and time again that she won't leave me, no matter how messed up I am in my mind. I tried to ghost her two times since we started hanging out, and it all had been in vain. She always found her way back to me.

When I came home from the gym and saw her in my bed last night, I was so happy, confused and relieved at the same time. Happy to see her, confused as to why she was  passed out in my bed and relieved that she actually came back to me again.

I’d be a fool if I let her go this time around, no matter how f**cked up I am.

I hate to agree with my asshole brother, but he was damn right when he said that Paris is the only human being that can stable my f**cked up mind. I have absolutely no clue how this tiny little human with a bob haircut and the cutest nose, managed to fall into my life that night and turn it upside down.

Literally.

Maybe the universe pitied me, and as much as I hate being pitied, I freaking love it this time. Because I undoubtedly and definitely needed her.

She stirred a little, showing me that she was returning to the conscious world. I stiffened for God knows what reason as I anticipated her awake.

The eyes I’ve grown so much to love fluttered open, immediately meeting mine with all their beauty. And then her lips started to twitch and her heart warming smile graced her morning features as she reached up to run a finger over my cheek.

My nerves immediately reacted and my whole body shivered at the light gesture.

God, Paris. If you should ever know the effect you have on me.

“Good morning, Charmer,” she mumbled, barely audible since her mouth was mostly closed. I had no idea how she did it, but it was hilarious.

“Good morning, Skates.” I returned the greeting boldly with a smirk pulling at my lips. I couldn’t help it, because the shock that fell on her face showed me that my assumptions were right.

“How come you don’t have morning breath?” she asked as she used her hand to cover her mouth. She's too cute.

I shrugged against the pillows. “Magic powers.”

For a minute her expression seemed like she actually believed me. This no doubt had been bursting out in laughter, as her cheeks tinted in the cutest pink in embarrassment. She hit my arm as she shuffled from the bed towards my attached bathroom.

“Paris!” I called after her as she waddled over to the door in my huge sweats. They aren’t actually huge. But she makes them seem huge.

“Leave me alone!” she shot back. I could tell that she was only annoyed, but she didn’t mean it. If I’m being fair, I do tease her a lot.

“Come on… Okay you want to know the truth? I got up and brushed my teeth before going back to bed.” It was the truth. Just like her, I was conscious about the horrid ‘morning breath’ too. And since I woke up before her, I decided to get rid of it.

My heart jumped as she pushed her head through the door with a lopsided grin on her face. “I knew you weren’t that perfect.”

I threw my hand over my heart in mock pain. “And here I was thinking that I couldn’t be faulted.”

In reality, I know I am far from perfect. But her laugh filling the room was enough to have me making these jokes forever. She closed the door behind her again, and I decided to use the time to tidy my room. I have never had a sister, and I don’t usually pay attention to what my mother does in her room, but from what I’ve heard, women spend an awful lot of time in the bathroom.

However, I didn’t rush her. I wouldn’t dare.

I wanted her to feel comfortable. Maybe this was only a one night thing, but I really enjoyed having her with me for the night. I’d do that everyday for the rest of my life if I could.

‘Maybe you can.’

I shook the voice from my head as soon as it came as I pulled the covers over my bed. That’s way too fast. I haven’t even asked her to be my girlfriend, let alone live with her.

Since I now know that I want and need her in my life, I’ll move at her pace. First we’ll date, then we go from there. I don’t want to scare her off.

But then I remembered the reason why she was even here in the first place, and my eyes landed on my laptop.

Maybe me going fast with our ‘relationship’ won't scare her off, but finding the truth might just do the trick.

I had no clue how that friend of hers, Colton, even learnt about that. It happened two years ago in a completely different high school from theirs. Did he really do some deep investigation shit on me, just so he could get Paris to himself?

Selfish bastard.

I knew he was from the day he told me that he was her boyfriend on the phone, but I only tried to get along with the guy for Paris’ sake. He obviously means a lot to her, and they have history. Maybe not romantic history, but they go way back.

And so, I tried to coexist with the guy, simply because I knew she wont give him up, and I didn’t want to give her up. But he lost his chance. From what I’ve learnt since I knew her, she had a thing for him and he didn’t want her then.

He isn’t only a selfish bastard, but a dumb one too.

Who wouldn’t want Paris? I mean… she’s Paris for crying out loud!

She’s sweet, beautiful, smart, funny in her own awkward way and so damn persistent, that it’s almost sexy. She’s also extremely caring and she has a big heart.

He only noticed that now when she’s with me?

To make it worse, after he realized his mistake and regretted not claiming her for himself, he tried to get rid of me and hell, he almost did.

He had been so convincing, telling  me that Paris will never look at me the same and I’ll only hurt her. He used my insecurity against me. Telling me that Paris won't look at me the same cut really deep. The last thing I wanted was to be a bad person in her eyes.

And I still don’t. But after what she told me last night before we went to dinner, I have hope that her big heart will give me the chance I so need.

Colton may be a selfish and dumb bastard, but I was a coward bastard. I was willing to give her up instead of fighting for her. At least he fought. He fought real hard too. Yet still, she’s back here, giving me the chance I don’t deserve. But I won't be foolish anymore. I won't push her away.

In some messed up way, it was good that Colton found that shit on me. Because maybe in the long run, she would’ve found some other way and things would go south for us. Telling her like this is the best way, and I see that now.

I just hope it will go as well as possible.

I didn’t even notice that I was pacing in my room until my feet began to hurt. I tried to think of ways that I could explain it to her, but it  all made me cringe inside.

How do I tell her that I had a young girl killed? How?

I squeezed my eyes shut when my body began to shake terribly, swallowing the guilt that took a year and  half to suppress by just a little.

Doubt nudged me in the back when the sound of the faucet stopped, and I knew I was running out of time. When she leaves that bathroom, she will probably ask for breakfast, but then she’ll remember why she came here, and we’ll have to talk about it.

“F**k,” I cursed softly. It was harder than I thought.

I raked my hands through my hair as my eyes scanned the room, searching for something to aid in this horrible confession. I then spotted my laptop again, and I remembered that I had a video that could help.

I didn’t have to tell her the whole thing, I could just show her. That will be easier, right? And then maybe, I’ll only have to explain myself when she looks at me in disapproval.

Swallowing the bile in my throat, I grabbed my laptop and searched deep in my files for the video. I have no idea why I kept it. This isn’t something you just keep as a souvenir. But after having the whole school send the same video to me with so many harsh words, cursing and even threats, I kept at least one to remind me where I’m coming from.

My fingers trembled over the pad as I brought the cursor over the triangle to click play, and just in that moment, the bathroom door swung open, revealing Paris in all her beauty.

She seemed content and calm as usual until she took in my demeanor.

“Fabian? What’s the matter?” she asked as she came closer to me.

My eyes flickered from the screen to her, and I’m pretty sure the sound of my heart pounding could be heard across the world.

She shuffled beside me on the bed and scrunched her eyebrows together as she eyed the image on the screen. With a deep breath, I lifted my finger and tapped the pad again, evoking the start of the horrid video.

Well, here goes nothing.

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