Chapter Twenty-Six

Song for chapter:

Happier by Olivia Rodrigo

***

I walked through the school doors with a beaming smile on my face.

The weather seemed to have gotten my memo this morning, seeing that it was absolutely beautiful out. I was excited to see Shanae. I had been dying to tell someone about my date on Saturday. It felt good to say that I have a boyfriend now. Images about how our night ended also had my nerves tingling again.

I had never given much thought to how my first time would be, but it was absolutely perfect. Shanae spoke about hers as if it was wild and crazy, and maybe it was. But mine? It was gentle and filled with so much love. It was utterly perfect.

However, I wasn't sure if I was ready to tell anyone about that part of the night just yet. Not even Shanae. I simply wanted to share the moment with Fabian alone for now before turning to other people. Besides, if Colton should find out, I had no idea how he would react.

He obviously thinks Fabian is using me. He would only believe that Fabian 'got what he wanted'. Little would he know that I was the one who pushed it on Saturday night. Fabian was slightly reluctant, maybe because he wasn't sure if I was ready. And perhaps I wasn't.

But I didn't regret it one bit.

I came to an abrupt stop as I turned the corner that led to my locker, and waiting on me was the man himself—Colton.

I haven't spoken to him since I told him that I loved Fabian. He had texted me a few times, and I replied to let him know I was okay. But as far as conversation went, there was none.

If I was honest with myself, I actually missed him. If only he could accept what I want, then we could at least try to be friends again.

"Hey." I waved awkwardly as I approached my locker. I had thought about turning around, but then I realized I needed a book from my locker, so I couldn't.

"Hey," he returned eagerly as he scratched the back of his neck. It was a nervous habit of his.

Look at us, from best friends to awkward greetings in high school hallways.

"How-how are you," he asked as I grabbed my book.

"I'm great," I told him honestly, and he looked conflicted at my answer. I could tell that it was because he was glad that I was okay but disappointed that he didn't know why. Or maybe he did but didn't want to think about Fabian.

"Great. We have... uh-guidance class now. Wanna walk together?"

"Sure." I shrugged as I threw my bag over my shoulders. "Have you seen Shanae?"

"I saw her with Nick earlier in the science lab." That was all he needed to say for me to know that she was busy. Well, it was good to see that she worked things out with Nick. All it took was Colton telling me that he saw them in the lab, and I knew that they were back together.

After seeing my expression, Colton chuckled and poked my cheek. "You're doing that thing again with your nose."

"What thing?" I queried.

"You know, when you find something displeasing," he pointed out, and I couldn't help but laugh as I playfully shoved him.

"Well, I must've done that a lot when I hung out with you," I teased, causing him to roll his eyes. We then arrived at the classroom door, and I almost didn't realize. It just seemed so easy to fall back into a routine with Colton. Yet, I knew I couldn't until he accepted or at least respected my wishes.

We parted at the door as he took his seat in the back, and I sat beside Ariana. She eyed me oddly after seeing me walk in with Colton, and I gave her a look to tell her that we'd talk later as our Guidance teacher entered.

"Good morning, class. I hope you are all in a great mood," our extremely perky teacher said as she dropped her books and a projector on the desk. "As I mentioned in the last class, we will be discussing the behavioural habits of humans according to their feelings," she added, and the whole class groaned.

The last thing seventeen-year-olds want to do is explore their feelings.

"But, after much thinking, I've decided that the best way to teach this lesson is to have you watch a movie! Now, this movie, in particular, captures everything that this lesson is about. I advise you to analyze the characters' behaviours and decisions based on their emotions. Any questions?"

Everyone gazed at her in utter silence, and so she took that as her cue to continue.

"I had you all excused from your second class for the morning to accommodate for the duration of the movie." This was when she got a reaction from some of us, happy that we won't have to go to whatever dreadful class we had after this. She rolled her eyes as she got her laptop connected to the projector, and I relaxed in my seat as I kept my gaze forward.

I could literally feel someone staring at me from across the room, but I knew who it was, so I didn't look around. Yet, in the torturing two minutes that the teacher took to set up, I found myself glancing around, and indeed, Colton was staring at me.

I quickly turned around as if I didn't see him and sank deeper in my seat at the uncomfortable feeling that tickled my toes. Huffing, I shook my head in hopes to clear it and grabbed my phone under the desk.

Ms Fletcher, the teacher, turned off all the lights, so I lessened the brightness on my phone so it wasn't obvious that I was using it. The first thing I did was open my messages with Fabian. He still hadn't replied to my good morning message, but I didn't mind. We stayed up pretty late last night talking, so it's either he wasn't awake yet, or he woke up late and rushed to school, and so he didn't get any time to text me.

I found myself scrolling through our messages with a stupid smile on my face. I didn't even know that Ariana was looking at my phone until she grabbed it from my hand.

"What's this?" she asked as she pointed at a message where Fabian addressed me as 'babe'. I rolled my eyes and grabbed it away from her, lucky that Ms Fletcher didn't see.

"Are you trying to have me phone-less for the rest of the week?" I hissed as I flickered my eyes to our still busy teacher.

"He called you babe?" she whispered, altogether avoiding my concern. I blushed profusely at this, remembering that I hadn't told any of my friends about Saturday night yet.

"Yes. I wasn't going to tell you until lunch because I wanted to tell Shanae too, but Fabian is my boyfriend now."

"What!" she practically screamed at the top of her voice in enthusiasm.

The entire class looked at us, and Ms Fletcher didn't look too pleased either. Ariana shrunk in her seat as she pointed at the whiteboard, where the title of the movie "Anna Karenina" was now displayed.

"I mean… I just love that movie." She laughed nervously as she pointed at the board. Ms Fletcher and the rest of the class accepted her lame excuse as they relaxed again.

"Well, Ariana. Be sure not to spoil it for anyone else." Our teacher winked playfully, completely oblivious to Ariana's lie.

Ariana gave me a look to say, 'we are discussing this later,' and I simply chuckled and tucked my phone away. Hesitantly, I turned again to look in Colton's direction. He was still looking at me, but with a different expression. Surely, he saw when Ariana took my phone, pointed at it and then screamed in excitement. He, too, knew it wasn't about the damn movie.

I cleared my throat as the opening music echoed through the room, and the movie began. It didn't look like my type of film, but it was all I had to distract me from the thoughts of Colton and Fabian.

***

Half the class was asleep by the time the movie ended, some on their phones and some, like me, quite intrigued.

The movie wasn't what I expected. However, even though the ending had me angry, I could say I enjoyed it thoroughly. I could also tell why Ms Fletcher chose this film to 'teach' us about feelings and behaviours. The movie was emotionally frustrating, yet you could understand the lead characters completely.

Anna Karenina, a Russian minister's wife and mother of a beautiful little boy, finds herself in an affair with a cavalry officer, Count Vronsky. He was undoubtedly a catch indeed, and I don't blame Anna for falling in love with him.

He made her feel loved and beautiful, while her husband, who obviously loved her too, was more concerned with having her as a wife instead of making her a wife.

But Vronsky was everything she wanted. He made her feel alive and loved, and as much as they all had their problems because, in my opinion, all the characters are crazy, he made her live a little.

Eventually, he knocked her up, and she had a daughter, after which her husband kicked her to the curb, and she went crazy and obsessive over Vronsky, after which he too cheats on her, and she kills herself.

It was tragic, but the movie was beautiful.

I hated that she didn't get her happy ending with Vronsky, but the societal pressure on her was far too much that she got so paranoid and dependent on him, which led to her own demise.

If Ms Fletcher was aiming at messing up our emotions, she surely messed up mine.

As the end credits rolled down the screen, Ms Fletcher turned to the class with a massive smile on her face, ready to torment us with 'talking about our feelings'. We only had about five minutes left until lunch, so at least it wouldn't be too bad.

I elbowed Ariana discreetly as our teacher walked around, pinching all those who were asleep. She only groaned and snuggled more in my shoulder, so she earned herself a pinch too.

"Now, after watching that film, what are your opinions about Anna's emotional behaviours due to her feelings?" she asked, and the entire class glanced at one another, either because they were clueless or didn't want to speak.

But to my surprise, Colton raised his hand—something he never does.

"Yes, Colton." Ms Fletcher beamed at him, happy that someone was willing to talk.

"I believe Anna was reckless and didn't understand her feelings much. I mean, if she had a good husband, a child and a perfect place to rest her head, why give that all away for something temporary?"

For some reason, what he said didn't sit well with me, so I raised my hand too.

"Thank you, Colton. Yes, Paris. Go ahead."

"Excuse me, Ms Fletcher, but I don't think Colton understood the movie quite well. Obviously, Anna longed for love and affection from her husband, Alexei. But he was far too busy, far too blind and only saw her as the mother of his child. Anna was in emotional duress when she met Vronsky, and he allowed her to feel alive."

"Vronsky? Do you mean the man who ruined her life and made her miserable in the end?" he shot back, and I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Vronsky didn't ruin her life. It was her own emotional turmoil that made her insecure and mistrustful. And I bet most of it was caused by how Alexei treated her for years."

Colton chuckled humorlessly before answering. "It seems like you forget that if Vronsky wasn't in the picture at all, then she would've still been alive with her son and husband."

"In a relationship that didn't make her happy?"

"Of course she was happy!" He threw his hands in the air dramatically. "It was Vronsky who ruined everything."

I scoffed at this. "It seems like you are forgetting that Anna made her choice too."

"That led to her own demise. If only she had listened to her husband, she would've still had everything."

Ms Fletcher seemed nervous, and the whole class was alert as they watched the interaction.

"Colton, Paris. Are—"

"Well, maybe if her husband didn't treat her like a friend and only like the mother of his son all her life, then she wouldn't have had an affair. And so what if her affair was wrong? Even if it was short-lived, Vronsky made her live a little. He made her happy and made her feel loved. It was Anna's fault why it didn't last because she became crazy. But if Alexei could've only seen how happy Vronsky made her, he wouldn't care about society's view and just be happy for her." I didn't know why, but my voice broke as I ended, and I suddenly felt all sorts of emotions for Anna.

Colton, too, looked torn as he relaxed in his seat and gazed at me.

"Well, maybe Anna didn't know that Alexei was only trying to protect her," he mumbled, and it was then that I realized we just had the talk we needed to have through a movie discussion.

"Of course Anna knew that." I sniffled as my eyes suddenly burnt. "But she just wanted him to be happy for her."

"Well, if I was Alexei, I would've tried to be happy for her. If it makes her happy, I think it's worth it."

My lips quivered as the vision of my best friend became blurry. Ariana wrapped her arms around me as the bell rang, breaking the entire class out of their trance. Unlike usual, they all left quietly, and I knew that Ms Fletcher's lesson was learnt by everyone today, even those who didn't watch the movie.

Our teacher looked between us for a while before her lips pulled into a small smile. She then turned on her heels without a word. Satisfied.

I watched as Colton, too, grabbed his belongings and left, leaving Ariana and me alone.

"That wasn't about the movie, was it?" she asked softly, and I shook my head in response.

"No. That was about us." A single tear rolled down my cheek as Ariana embraced me.

I wasn't having second thoughts about Fabian. Not one bit. Anna Karenina is not me, Fabian is not Vronsky, and our fate won't be theirs.

But if I was Anna Karenina as Alexei's wife, then I was her, and Colton was Alexei.

I was waiting for us to sit and have a sophisticated talk about the matter for two weeks, and maybe that's why we hadn't had a breakthrough in our friendship.

But all it took was one Guidance class and a 19th-century movie.

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I loved this chapter!

Have you ever seen "Anna Karenina" or read the book? What are your thoughts about it?

I hope you enjoyed! Thoughts about Colton and Paris' little face off?