13. A Treasonous Heart

I shot a look at Isobel who shook her head slightly, telling me I shouldn’t decline, if nothing more than for the sake of the facade and the possibility of opening up the women to more chatter. I swallowed my pride, bit the inside of my cheek, and curtsied as I took his hand. “It would be my pleasure, Lord Theodore,” I replied in my practiced, sophisticated tone.

As he led me to the dance floor, I did my best to stop myself from grabbing my dagger and shooting it through his hand. “You look beautiful, Cat,” he said quietly the moment we began our dance.

“You’re a dog, Theo,” I spat.

Theo pulled his head back and looked at me confused. “Such hostility, what did I—” then he stopped, his eyes glittering as though someone had just illuminated a light for him. “It seems my reputation precedes me.”

I glared at him, refusing him the satisfaction of an answer.

“Cat, it’s not true.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“It’s a farce, Mouse—a way to give me some freedom and ambiguity that keeps me from my father’s prying eyes.”

“I still don’t believe you, and you are not permitted to call me mouse, you absolute dog.”

“Cat,” he sighed. “I promise I’m telling you the truth.”

“I have no reason to believe that! What if they’re telling the truth, and everything you told me is a lie? Rumors come from somewhere, Theodore, often with at least a flicker of truth.”

Theo’s jaw ticked. “Seriously, Cat? You really think I’d lie to you?”

“I don’t know who you are anymore, Theodore!” Tears pricked the corner of my eyes, and I held my breath to stop them from shedding. “This is the fourth time I’ve seen you in twelve years, and the first one began with both of us trying to kill each other.”

“Caterina, you’re the one person in this world I don’t have to lie to—the only person in all my life I don’t have to put on a facade around. Why would I do that now?”

“Maybe because—”

“Excuse me,” a gentleman interrupted. “Sorry to intrude, but I was hoping that I may have the next dance?”

“You may,” I replied, staring at Theo as he clenched his jaw and walked away.

“May I have your name, Miss?” The gentleman asked. I turned my gaze toward my new partner and forced my face to soften.

“It’s Charlotte,” I replied, smiling sweetly. “And you are?”

“James,” he said with confidence, “James Cultieroy of the House of Ables. I must say, you have the most magnificent eyes I’ve ever seen. A descendent of the Dunamic Isle, perhaps? I’ve never had the opportunity to see the beautiful magenta eyes in person, though I can’t tell if it's you or the eyes I find more enticing.”

I feigned excitement as he turned me, subtly signalling to Isobel that I’d found our target just before he pulled me back. “Yes, I can’t believe you noticed! My family moved to the Southern Isle just before—” My voice stopped the moment I spotted William handing Theodore a glass. Oh no. He wouldn’t, would he? How did William find him? Was it my dance that drew William’s attention to Theodore?

“Just before the fall?”

“Y-yes,” I replied, turning my gaze back to my target as dread and panic forced their way into my chest. “I apologize. It’s hard for me to talk about it. I’m sorry, Sir James. It’s been a pleasure speaking with you, but I just realized I left my sister unattended. Would you like to dance with her?”

James looked at me confused, but conceded the moment he saw Isobel. “I suppose that would be fine, Lady Charlotte,” he said, smiling toward Isobel who immediately stepped into action. The moment I knew Isobel was alright and would take care of James, I rushed to Theodore just as he walked outside toward one of the many gardens.

“Theo!” I said frantically as I clutched his arm. “Did you drink it?”

“Did I drink what?”

I bit my lip. I couldn’t give William away. “N-nevermind.”

Theo shrugged out of my grip. “If you don’t mind, Caterina—or Charlotte, whoever you are—I need some air.”

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“Theodore, wait!”

He stopped walking but didn’t turn to face me. I needed to buy time to make sure William hadn’t poisoned him. “May I walk with you?”

“You want to be seen with the dog? Careful, Mouse. You might be in the next set of rumors.”

“Rumors would be no worse than what I actually do for a living,” I replied, looping my hand into the arm he’d offered me. The walk was quiet and a bit awkward. I made no attempt at conversation and instead strained my ear to listen for any signs of his breathing turning shallow or his heart faltering.

“Why are you here, Mouse?” he asked as we walked into a small patch of garden surrounded by hedges and devoid of other people.

“You know I can’t tell you that, Theo.”

“I won’t interfere,” he replied, sitting down on one of the stone benches and watching my face carefully.

“I still can’t tell you.”

“Can you tell me how long you’ll be in Opoulsios?”

“I can tell you I’m not leaving tonight.”

“A lot of good that does me,” Theo retorted, running his finger through his black hair and sighing in frustration.

“Why do you want to know?” I arched an eyebrow. “Going to report me to your father?”

Theo glared at me. “That’s not funny, Cat.”

“Sorry,” I said quietly. “I wasn’t meaning to be funny.”

Theo stood and walked away from me. “That makes it worse, Cat.”

“I wasn’t trying to make it worse, Theo! I’m trying to fill in the gap of what happened the past twelve years we’ve been apart.”

Theo stopped walking and turned to look at me; his silver eyes were filled with frustration and hurt. He sighed and looked down, running his fingers through his hair again before returning his gaze back to me. “A lot, Cat. We both grew up. You stopped trusting me, but I never stopped searching for you. Maybe that was my fault.”

“Theo, wait!” I grabbed his arm as he tried to walk away once more.

“Why? What good would it do either of us?” He pulled himself away from my grip again.

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly.

He clenched his jaw and looked back down. “I should go. I never should have asked you to dance. I’m sorry.”

Tears welled in my eyes, and my vision blurred so much I hadn’t noticed Theo stumbling until the sound of his knees cracking against the paved stone ripped me from my sorrow. William really did poison him. “Theo!” I said, running to his side and pulling his head onto my lap. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

He looked at me, confused and betrayed, with questions he couldn’t ask as he began to asphyxiate. It would be better, easier even, to let him die now, but I can’t. I’d never forgive myself. I’d never stop dreaming of the silver-eyed boy who would rather face a whip than let me starve. I used my tongue to nudge the capsule between my teeth and sealed my lips the moment the sweet, black liquid filled my mouth. I stared at him, meeting his gaze as regret-filled tears fell from my eyes and onto his face. Then I pressed my mouth against his and forced the antidote past his lips, tasting the salty tears that mixed with the sweet liquid and hoping I’d been able to transfer enough into his mouth.

As soon as he started breathing again, he pushed himself away from me and immediately scrambled to his feet. His face was scrunched in fury, and his hand went to the hilt of his sword. “Did you poison me and then have second thoughts?”

“It wasn’t me, Theo!” I cried, hating myself for the tears that continued to shed despite not having permission to do so.

“That’s why you followed me out here?” he asked, relaxing his hand slightly while his face stayed filled with fury. “To see whether or not I’d die?”

“To stop it if it happened.”

Theo grunted and extended a hand to help me up. “Why’d you stop it? We know it’s inevitable.”

“Because I wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet,” I replied, accepting his hand and brushing the dirt off my dress the moment I stood. “I may not trust you, I may still be a bit angry with you for being a dog, but I don’t want you to die. Not yet, at least.”

“You’re still stuck on the dog thing? I told you it’s not true.” He reached toward my face and hesitatingly used his knuckle to brush a tear off my cheek. When I didn’t object to his touch, he cupped my face with both hands and wiped them all.

“And you’re focused on defending that rather than be concerned about the fact you nearly died?”

Theo chuckled, his eyes moving to my lips for a split second before returning to my gaze. My cheeks began burning, and I wondered if he could feel the sudden rise in temperature. Why have I become so reckless, so driven by emotion?

He dropped his hands and moved his attention to the ground. “Look, Cat, I actually wanted to dance with you to warn you.”

“Warn me? About what, your reputation?”

He let out a breathy laugh and shook his head. “No, I wasn’t particularly concerned with that.” He paused, sucked in a deep breath, and looked back at me. “It’s dangerous for you here, Caterina. You shouldn’t be seen in any of Opoulsios’s four palaces—or at all in high society, really. My father thinks you’re dead, and I’d like to keep it that way if I can.”

I bit my lip, unsure of what to do or say. There were so many questions I wanted to ask. So many things I wanted to know—most were about him, which I knew I shouldn’t desire, but I couldn’t contain myself. A simple, whispered, “Thanks,” was all I could force out.

Another heavy silence fell between us. I know I should leave, return inside to complete the mission or help Isobel if she hasn’t already poisoned James, but I couldn’t. And I didn’t know why.

“The night’s still young. Would you care to finish our walk?”

A shrill shriek cut through the cool, peaceful air. That must mean Isobel was successful, and Sir James has died. My shoulders slacked, and my lip quivered as the successful mission provided me a way of escape. I knew I needed to take it, but a part of me still didn’t want to. “I think I need to go.”

Theo grabbed my hand just as I turned away. “If fate happens to bring us together again, would you save a dance for me?”

I smiled and pulled my hand away. “Goodbye, Theo.”