Chapter 19

My head throbbed with a headache when I came to myself. I wasn’t sure what time it was. I could hear shuffling around me and raspy breathing. With a groan, I forced my eyes open despite the agony this caused.

Dank gray walls. Stench of humidity and mold, piss and blood. I was in a basement, in Vitiello’s torture chamber, no doubt.

“Finally awake, eh?” Cody muttered.

I turned my head and realized I was tied to a chair. I tried to topple it over, but its legs were attached to the floor. Of course, Vitiello would think of everything.

“This is your fault,” Earl growled.

He and Cody were on chairs to my left and beside them was Smith, a prospect. He looked pretty bad off, bleeding from two wounds in his leg and side. But I was only glad it wasn’t Gray in his stead. “How long have we been here?”

Cody spit in my direction but it landed a few inches from my boots. “Long enough that I pissed my pants twice, you asshole.”

Earl watched me with ferocious eyes.

“If you’d listened to me and exchanged Marcella for Vitiello, we would be the ones doing the torturing. But you couldn’t get enough,” I growled.

“Don’t mention that whore’s name!”

I shook my head. “I hope Vitiello starts torturing us soon. Nothing can be worse than being in a room with you two assholes.”

“He’ll kill me last, so I get to watch you die slowly and painfully,” Earl said with a nasty grin.

“What about Gray? Have you seen him?”

“Coward ran off. He’s dead to me. Won’t survive on his own for long anyway. Vitiello will catch him soon enough.”

“It’s your job to keep him safe. Instead, you saved your own ass and ran upstairs.”

The heavy door groaned.

“Oh shit,” Cody said. “Please God, save me.”

I sent him an amused look. “You really think God looks kindly upon you?”

Amo and Luca Vitiello entered the room. One look at them and I knew I wouldn’t die today, even if I begged for it.

I’d been shot, stabbed, burned, had broken countless bones in accidents. I wasn’t scared of pain or death, but I knew Vitiello had ways to make even hardened men cry for their mommy.

“Is Marcella all right?” I asked.

Earl snorted.

Amo strolled over to me and punched me in the ribs and stomach. “Never mention her again.”

I coughed then grinned. “So you’re taking over from Daddy as the head-torturer now?”

“No,” Luca said in a low voice that might have made me shit my pants if I hadn’t heard it before. “I will make sure to deal with each of you. But we have plenty of time for Amo and my brother to get their turn as well.”

Amo went over to a table with instruments that I hadn’t noticed before.

“Oh God,” Cody whimpered when Amo picked up prongs.

I steeled myself, praying that I’d be strong enough not to beg for mercy. Maybe I had the guts to bite my own tongue off. Closing my eyes, I recalled Marcella. An image worthy of my last moments.

I’d rarely put as much effort into my appearance for a party or social event as I did now to watch Earl White die a cruel death. I’d bought the black leather pants and the red silk blouse after my breakup with Giovanni but had never gotten the chance to wear either. Today was the day.

My hands shook when I slipped on my black patent leather Louboutins. I flexed my fingers, willing them to cease the tremor. Sucking in a deep breath, I opened my door and headed out.

Mom waited in the lobby for me. Her eyes swam with unshed tears and worry. She took my hand, searching my eyes. “Are you sure?”

She hadn’t tried to talk me out of visiting my captors, but I could see that she was almost sick with worry. Yet, I needed this to really make peace with everything that had happened. Valerio was over at Aunt Liliana’s place, so he didn’t witness too much of our turmoil. I bet he and our cousin Flavio would talk about nothing else but the kidnapping and what would happen to my kidnappers anyway. Our parents always thought we were oblivious and that they could protect us.

“Absolutely. I want to be there. I want to show them before they die that I’m stronger than before.”

“You are. I’m so proud of you, Marci. You are a true warrior. You have your father’s strength.”

“And yours. I know the stories of how you risked your life for Dad, how you went into enemy territory to help your little brother. Your fierceness is more subtle than Dad’s but it’s there all the same.”

Mom swallowed hard, but the tears fell anyway. “Show them your true colors.”

I nodded with a firm smile before I headed outside.

Uncle Matteo waited for me in his car in the driveway and I sank down on the passenger seat beside him. He also owned a bike, which he usually rode over to our house when he came without Gianna and Isabella. It was one thing he and Maddox had in common. And even Amo who only did dirt racing on occasion. I caught myself imagining how they might one day do a bike trip together and immediately wanted to slap myself. These men were mortal enemies. Nothing had changed.

Matteo scanned my face. I wished makeup could cover up my turmoil like it did blemishes, but Matteo could probably see them plainly.

“Are you good to go?” Matteo asked carefully. He, like so many others, hadn’t hesitated to risk their life for me. I could only imagine how scared Isabella had been for her dad, how worried Aunt Gianna must have been. I had trouble expressing the amount of gratefulness I felt for them, and also for the soldiers I didn’t even know.

“I am. This is my battle and I won’t shy back from it,” I said firmly.

Matteo grinned. “That’s my tough niece.”

I smiled but slowly another question formed in my mind, one I hadn’t had time to consider fully yet. “How many died in their attempt to save me?”

Matteo gave me a careful look. “You should talk to your dad about it.”

“Matteo,” I said in exasperation. “I’m not a young child anymore. I can handle the truth and I need it.”

Matteo nodded. He, unlike Dad with me, allowed his daughter Isabella more freedom and told her things Dad always tried to keep from me. “Three men died.”

I swallowed. My life wasn’t worth more than theirs but they had put it down for me.

“They know of the risk when they become Made Men, and our fights with the bikers have cost far more men their lives. This isn’t your fault.”

Maybe it wasn’t, but I felt guilt anyway. “I want to send my condolences to the families. They need to know that I’m sorry for their loss and understand their sorrow.”

“You’ve grown.”

“I think that’s natural.”

“No, I mean, while you were gone.”

“Something like that changes your outlook on life,” I said quietly.

“It does.”

Matteo pulled up in front of a warehouse in an industrial area. I had never been there, but before today I’d never been allowed to be present at any kind of Famiglia business, much less a torture session.

Matteo got out of the car but I remained sitting for a moment longer. This would be a challenge for two reasons. Earl White.

…and Maddox.

Less than twenty-four hours had passed since I’d last seen him. My first night in freedom, one filled with little sleep and more nightmares. I’d lived a privileged life until the day Maddox ripped me out of my comfort zone. Now I had changed. Because of the pain and humiliation I’d suffered, but also because of my feelings for Maddox. Feelings I was terrified of. My life would be easier if I forgot them, forgot him. If I allowed Dad and Amo to kill Maddox. That way the choice would be taken out of my hands.

Matteo gave me a worried look. I’d remained frozen in the car, staring up at the huge building as if it meant my doom.

Not my doom.

This would be my ultimate liberation. My palms became clammy as I followed Matteo toward the steel door. Before he opened it, he turned to me once more. “Maddox White, do you want him dead?”

I was taken aback by Matteo’s directness but I shouldn’t have been surprised.

“No,” I said, a truth I couldn’t even admit to myself so far.

“Your dad won’t like it, and me neither. He means trouble.”

“You always say Gianna is trouble and that you like trouble. Why can’t I?”

Matteo chuckled. “You shouldn’t use me as an example for your life choices.”

I shrugged then my eyes wandered back to the steel door. My pulse picked up, a strange mix of fear and excitement. “I haven’t made up my mind about Maddox yet.”

“You should do it quickly. Your dad will kill him soon.”

Matteo finally opened the door for me and we headed toward another steel door at the end of the vast hall. My heels clicked on the bare stone floor and with every step I took, my pulse quickened. Matteo touched my shoulder. “Wait here and let me check if we can enter.”

I nodded and didn’t point out that I knew what Dad and Amo would be doing with the bikers. Matteo poked his head in, then he opened the door wider and motioned me in. Taking a deep breath to steel myself, I entered, followed by Matteo. With a bone-chilling clang, the heavy steel door fell shut behind me. A shudder raced down my spine as I scanned the barren room.

Four men were tied to chairs, one of them Maddox. His gaze hit me, blue eyes that awakened my emotions all over again. The left side of his face was swollen and bluish, but apart from that Dad and Amo hadn’t laid a hand on him yet. The other men hadn’t been as lucky—one of them the man who was responsible for everything.

Earl White had suffered a broken arm and his ear didn’t look good either. Cody hung limply in his chair. I didn’t know the name of the fourth man. I’d thought one of the captives might be Gray. That he wasn’t here worried me for Maddox. It was obvious how protective he was of his half-brother. If he was dead, that would break Maddox’s heart and definitely wouldn’t improve his relationship with my father.

Dad immediately came toward me, shielding me from the men. “Marci, you know I don’t think you should be here. There’s nothing these men have to say that you should hear, and they aren’t worthy to hear a single word from your lips.”

“You said you wouldn’t stop me,” I reminded him. I wasn’t surprised he’d changed his mind. He still thought he could protect me from evil.

My gaze sought Maddox once more. His penetrating stare hadn’t left me for a moment.

Dad followed my gaze and sighed quietly. “Don’t go too close.” Then he faced the prisoners. “If any of you try anything, I’m going to make you regret it.”

The promise of violence in Dad’s voice made me shiver but I gave him a small smile before I moved farther into the room.

“Come to join in the fun?” Earl asked with a grim smile, revealing a bloody mouth that was missing a couple of teeth. That explained the bloody pliers on one of the tables. “Share your daddy’s bloodlust?”

I’d wanted a last confrontation but I hadn’t made up my mind if I could watch the torture Dad, Amo and Matteo certainly had in mind for the bikers. “Your dirty blood will never touch me,” I said simply, satisfied by the coldness of my voice.

Seeing Maddox tied up to the chair, I had to resist the urge to rush over to him and free him. He wasn’t innocent, and I needed to make sure I could really trust him. Maybe he regretted his decision to help me escape already. Yet, in his eyes, I could see the same longing I felt and desperately tried to hide.

“Letting Daddy and your brother do the dirty work, whore?” Earl said, bursting through my thoughts, obviously growing frustrated at my lack of reaction. I tensed, remembering the ugly words tattooed on my back. Similar words would probably quickly make the rounds if people found out I’d slept with Maddox. If I was pregnant… I didn’t feel pregnant, and I didn’t want to consider the option. Right now I could only focus on one thing, if Maddox and I had a chance, if it even made sense to give us a chance.

Dad grabbed Earl by the throat, looking less human than I’d ever seen him. Amo was at his side. No trace of the little brother left I’d last seen before my kidnapping. These men would have scared me if they weren’t my blood, my protectors. If their unabashed rage and vengefulness weren’t emotions that simmered deep inside of me as well.

“No,” I said firmly, as much to Earl as to Dad and Amo. Dad didn’t loosen his hold on Earl, who was slowly turning red, spluttering as he fought for breath.

“Dad, don’t.”

Dad looked at me, obviously unsure of what I wanted. “Let us give him what he deserves. He’ll suffer more than any man has ever suffered.”

Did he think I wanted him to spare my tormentor? That was the last thing on my mind. Mom was the forgiving type, but even she would probably have Earl die a painful death at Dad’s hands if he asked her for her opinion. Of course, he’d never do such a thing because he didn’t want her to have blood on her hands.

“Let me dig his goddamn balls out with an ice cream spoon,” Amo growled, motioning at the assortment of knives, pliers, and other tools for torture spread out on a small wooden table.

My stomach turned at the display and blood pooling beneath it, and I dragged my eyes away. I wasn’t like Dad and Amo. I wasn’t like Mom either. I was somewhere in between. Capable of a certain amount of cruelness if driven to the brink but not capable of executing it myself. Maybe this was weakness, but I no longer strive for perfection.

A nasty smile rushed over Earl’s face at my brief show of hesitation. I swallowed and stiffened my shoulders before I headed for the table and picked up a knife. The handle felt unfamiliar in my palm. Dad had always made sure I didn’t handle weapons. My protection had been the task of others. I’d accepted it, certain nothing could touch me as long as Dad was there. But I had realized that no matter how strong your protectors are, you need to be capable to survive on your own.

“He will suffer but not by your hands, Dad,” I said firmly, forcing a smile, and turned to Maddox. His gaze moved from the gleaming blade to my eyes. As it always did, my heart skipped a beat as I met his gaze. This was our moment of truth, the moment that would prove his loyalty or end what was never meant to be. I wasn’t sure my heart would survive the latter.

Earl nodded at my ear. Another mark he’d left. Sometimes I wondered what else he would have done to me if Maddox hadn’t revealed my whereabouts to Dad. Earl White had enjoyed torturing me and not just because I was my father’s daughter. “You can cover up your ruined ear with expensive jewelry but that tattoo…”

“Will soon be covered by a beautiful tattoo designed by the best tattoo artist in the States,” I interrupted him. I wasn’t going to let him make me feel small for even a second.

He grunted. “There are things you won’t ever be able to cover up. We left our mark inside of you. You’ll fear the dark until the day you die.”

I wished he wasn’t right. Maybe last night had been the exemption but I worried it would take me a while to be comfortable in the dark again, to not flinch when someone knocked and not look over my shoulder. But eventually I’d overcome this.

I stepped closer to him, smiling darkly. “I have darkness running in my veins. I am my father’s daughter, don’t ever underestimate me because I’m a woman. Being a woman doesn’t mean I’m not strong. And trust me when I say that nothing you did will leave a scar. Your name and family will long be forgotten while mine will rule over the East and hunt down every biker affiliated to Tartarus.”

I moved toward Maddox, following the invisible pull I’d felt from the very first moment I’d seen him. He never took his eyes off me. He looked like a man ready to die. Maybe I should let him. It would be easier for my family, easier for me if you didn’t take my heart into account, and maybe it would even be easier for him, because I wasn’t sure if he could handle the choice I would soon be giving him.

I walked around him until I was at his back and bent down to cut through his bindings. Dad and Amo rocked forward but I shook my head. “No.”

They stopped but I could tell they were both ready to lunge if Maddox moved the wrong way. Maddox was clever enough to leave his arms at his side after I’d freed him from his bindings. I walked back to the front and met his gaze. I could see the questions in his blue eyes.

Flipping the knife around, I held out the handle to him.

“Marci,” Dad growled.

I shook my head again. This was my moment of truth with Maddox, the defining decision in our relationship. I needed the truth even if it killed me.

“Maddox,” I said, leaning down to him despite Dad’s warning. He couldn’t understand the bond that Maddox and I shared. “Take this knife and kill your uncle. Do it for me.”

His blue eyes held mine, one of them bloodshot. His lips were busted and his upper body was littered with cuts and bruises, only the beginning if I allowed it. “Kill your uncle with this knife. Make him bleed. Do it for me. Let him feel every ounce of pain I felt, let him feel it tenfold. Make him beg me for mercy, for death even. Do it if you love me.”

Love. A word I’d been terrified to use, a word that still ripped open a chasm in my chest, one only Maddox might be able to close. I’d hardly slept the night, debating if I could, if I should burden Maddox with this choice, but it was the only option to heal some of the wounds the kidnapping had ripped open.

I wouldn’t let Dad or Amo kill another father figure of Maddox’s. I needed him to do it. There was no place in this world for the man who’d cut off my earlobe and tattooed me. The man who would have killed me and even Maddox because he was so blinded by his need for revenge that he couldn’t stop, no matter the price.

Maddox didn’t take his eyes off mine as he slowly moved his arms to the front. They were cut where the ties had been and he flexed his fingers as if they were stiff from the awkward position they’d been forced into. The seconds seemed to drag on in excruciating slowness until he finally took the knife from my hand.

“Marci,” Amo growled, stalking toward me with his own knife drawn, but I raised my palm and he stopped in his tracks. His confusion was palpable, but how could I explain what I myself hardly understood?

“Step back,” Dad ordered me.

I didn’t. Instead, I grabbed Maddox’s neck and kissed him harshly before whispering against his lips, “Make him bleed for what he did to me.” I pulled my earring off to remind him, then lifted my hair to reveal the ugly tattoo.

Maddox leaned forward, pressing a hot kiss to the tattoo. “You are truly your father’s daughter, Snow White, and a true queen if there ever was one. And if this is what it takes to prove my love and loyalty to you, then I’ll do it.”

My heart swelled with relief. I stepped back as Maddox stumbled to his feet, swaying slightly from the torture he’d suffered at my father’s and brother’s hand. My own legs felt unsteady as I backed away. His lips were chapped from dehydration but he held his head high as he staggered toward his uncle.

Dad grabbed my arm, looking into my eyes with concern.

“Trust me,” I said. “Maddox will make him bleed for me.”

Dad shook his head as if I was being delusional. “And what if he frees him?”

“He won’t,” I said and felt it deep in my heart. Maddox had made his choice and it was me. His uncle had lost Maddox along the way because he chose a way Maddox couldn’t follow, not just because of his love for me, but also because he was decent deep inside his heart.

I turned to Earl once more with a hard smile. “Some people think women can’t be cruel. I think we’re just more creative when it comes to cruelty. Enjoy the pain at the hands of your own flesh and blood.”

I’d practiced these words several times last night until they sounded effortlessly cruel, as if this was everyday business for me, even if it wasn’t.

“You can have all the cunts in the world, son. Don’t let the whore play you with her magic pussy.”

Amo jerked forward and thrust his fist into Earl’s face. His head snapped back and for a moment I was worried that Amo had actually broken Earl’s neck and messed with my plan. But Earl sagged forward and shook his head dizzily.

He slowly dragged his gaze back up. “She’s using you. She manipulated you from the start so you’d help her. I didn’t see it soon enough or I would have kept her in my bedroom and fucked her three holes bloody until she knew her place.”

Maddox’s hand shot forward, impaling the blade in his uncle’s abdomen. I sucked in a sharp breath, sure he’d killed him. I was torn between relief that it was over and Maddox had really ended his uncle for me, and disappointment because the man hadn’t suffered enough yet. It was a horrible thing to think, but one I couldn’t suppress.

Earl’s eyes widened grotesquely and he let out a choked moan. Maddox’s face was only inches from his uncle’s and the look in his eyes banished the last tiny flicker of doubt in my mind. He would avenge me and prove his love to me.

“You won’t ever get the chance to touch Marcella. And today I’ll make you regret every second of pain you made her feel. You’ll beg her for forgiveness and call her queen when I’m done with you.”

From the corner of my eye, I saw Amo and Dad exchange stunned looks. My chest swelled even more.

His first scream rocketed off the walls. Goose bumps rose on my skin. A few months ago, I couldn’t have stayed but my own screams of pain not too long ago had made me numb to the sound. I’d stay until the bitter end and watch.

Crossing my arms, I leaned against the wall and clipped my diamond earring back on my ruined ear. Another scream, even louder than the one before, rang out. Amo leaned beside me, regarding me as if he saw me in a new light.

“You changed,” he said quietly.

“So did you.”

He nodded. Dad looked at us, regret passing his face. He’d dedicated his life to protect us, but this life left nothing untouched. It was only a matter of time before we’d be dragged into the darkness.