Final Offer: Chapter 22

Lana tries to push me away, but with how our bodies are lined up, her ass presses against my dick. She freezes underneath me with a barely audible gasp.

My dick, already semi-hard from what happened in the house, reacts to her touch. Blood pumps directly to the source of my latest issue.

“Are you…” She struggles to finish her sentence.

“You wore the same dress from our first date,” I reply, like that answers everything. The dress somehow looks even better now than it did back then, and I’m jealous of any fucker who gets to look at her today.

“I didn’t—” She glances at me from over her shoulder, her eyebrows scrunching together. “Wait. You remember what I wore that night?” I know what she is probably assuming given how addicted I was to pills.

“I remember everything.” My gaze drops to her mouth. The memory of hers pressed against mine makes my lips tingle.

Her tongue darts out to trace her bottom lip, and I’m hit with the temptation to replace her tongue with mine.

Our kiss the other night has lived rent-free in my head since it happened. Regardless of how hard I try to distract myself, it always returns to the forefront of my mind.

What would have happened if I had stayed?

What if we had talked out what happened rather than run away?

What if I had kissed her again, regrets be damned?

Instead, I drank until I was physically unable to walk back to the house and kiss her again.

“Mommy! Are you ready?”

I jolt. Lana pushes against me again, forcing me out of the car and away from the temptation of her lips.

Probably for the best.

“Let’s get you buckled in.” Lana’s voice comes out huskier than usual as she motions for Cami to come over. While Lana gets Cami buckled in, I put the Tupperware of cocadas in the trunk.

The awkward tension between Lana and me intensifies as we both get in the car. I don’t let anyone drive my car, yet here I am allowing Lana to do the very thing my brothers are prohibited from doing.

Only because she doesn’t trust you behind the wheel.

I tap my fingers against my thighs in a poor attempt to distract myself from the unbearable pressure building inside my chest.

I would never put her and Cami’s life at risk like that, so for her to think otherwise…

It fucking hurts.

My dark thoughts are instantly driven out of my head as Lana peels out of the driveway. The tires squeal, and a car honks as Lana dictates that she had the right of way, although I know for certain she most definitely did not.

I use the safety handlebar for the first time in my life as she navigates through town. There aren’t many stop signs or traffic lights, but she manages to hit every single one in the same way—hard enough to make me suffer from whiplash.

My heart pounds against my chest. “You drive like a madman.”

She cackles. “It’s not my fault the light changed from yellow to red so fast.”

“You were going forty when it turned yellow!”

She shrugs.

I wipe the damp skin over my brow. “How do you still have a license?”

“Probably the same way you avoided staying out of jail after choking Wyatt.”

My mouth drops open. “You’re a menace.”

“I haven’t gotten in an accident.”

“Probably because everyone in town knows to avoid the road whenever you’re on it.”

She snaps her fingers. “That explains so much. No wonder I never get caught in any rush hour traffic.”

“Only because you’re the reason people rush in the first place.”

She laughs until her cheeks turn pink and her eyes water. I’m enraptured by the sound almost as much as the look on her face as she turns toward me with the brightest smile.

You’re absolutely helpless. I bite down on my cheek to stifle my groan.

Lana finally spares me a glance once she parks the car outside of Cami’s school. “Thanks for letting me borrow your car.”

“Anything for you.” I offer her a half-assed salute.

Her back goes rigid.

That’s the second time she’s done that. What’s that about?

Lana doesn’t give me time to second-guess what I said as she opens her door and steps out of the car. “Come on, Cami. Say thank you to Cal.”

“Thank you!” She claps her hands together in the back seat.

“Let’s get you out of there.” Lana grabs the treats from the trunk while I help Cami. It takes two failed attempts and nearly getting stabbed in the eye with the corner of her graduation cap for me to realize two-door cars and kids are a no-go.

Cami finally climbs out of the back, her gown a wrinkled mess and her hat completely off-centered again. I’m not sure how she managed to wreck her outfit in the five-minute car ride, but I’m weirdly impressed.

Although her gown is a goner, I do my best to help her with the hat.

“You remind me of your mother,” I say absentmindedly.

Cami looks up at me with wide blue eyes. “Really?”

“Oh yeah. She was a wild child just like you.” I wink.

Cami giggles, making my chest all warm and tight from the innocent sound. She looks up at me with the goofiest smile, and I return the gesture.

The side of my face tingles, and I look over to find Lana staring at me with a strange expression on her face.

“Everything okay?”

She clears her throat. “Yeah. Just realized I forgot the camera.” She turns toward her daughter. “We better get going before your teacher gets worried.”

“Are you coming?” Cami holds out her hand for me to grab.

I stare at it.

“No. Cal is busy,” Lana answers before I have a chance to even consider.

I look up at her, finding her working her jaw.

“Right. Do you need me to pick you up once you’re done?”

Her head shakes. “Thanks, but no. Wyatt and Delilah can give us a ride back to the house.”

“What about the car seat?” I blurt out.

“I’ll grab it from you tomorrow if that’s okay.”

“Of course.”

I expect to feel a warm rush of relief as they walk away, but my chest throbs instead. A sense of longing, deep and forbidden, takes over. The kind of longing I haven’t allowed myself to feel for years.

This is for the best.

Then why does it feel so shitty to watch Cami and Lana disappear into the school while I stand by myself, looking in like an outsider?

Because you are an outsider.

I try to shake off the feeling and get in my car, but I hesitate outside the vehicle.

A part of me wants to go with them. It’s a small part, but a part nonetheless, and it freaks me the fuck out. So I do what I do best.

I run.

I try my hardest to stick to sober activities like grabbing an early lunch at the sandwich shop and picking up a new book at the store, but nothing relieves the pressure in my chest.

The drive to one of the tourist bars on the other side of town is a blur—just like all the vodka tonics I drank afterward to numb my emotions.

So much for limiting yourself.

I tried my hardest, but I’m powerless when it comes to alcohol and controlling myself under extreme stress. It’s not until my vision is cloudy and my head is quiet that I finally feel at ease.

No more thoughts of Lana.

No more thoughts of Cami.

No more thoughts of what my life could have been like had I not fucked it all up six years ago.

Just me, the steady beat of the music streaming out of the speakers, and alcohol to cure my problems.

My world feels like someone tilted it at a forty-five-degree angle. I stumble out of the rideshare and manage to walk up the driveway of the house without falling on my face. It takes me three tries to get the front door unlocked. The house is pitch-black inside, and I trip over my own feet.

I run into a wall, except the wall is actually a table that teeters from my weight before falling backward. Whatever was on top of the wood surface shatters, the echo amplifying the horrific sound.

I wince. “Shit.” I stand there in the darkness, afraid what I might uncover if I turn on a light.

If I could even find a light.

As if the house read my mind, one turns on above me. Flowers of all colors, shapes, and sizes are strewn across the hardwood floor, surrounded by a thousand shards of glass.

“Oh my God.” Lana stands at the top of the stairs. “No. No. No.”

“Lana!” I shout. “I missed you!”

A man of subtlety, I am not.

Her look of shock morphs into one of anger. “Are you drunk?”

I shake my head. “Buzzed.”

“What are you even doing here? You’re supposed to be staying at the guesthouse.”

“I wanted to say hi.” I hold up my hand and wave like a complete loser.

She takes a deep breath. “Don’t move. Let me go put some shoes on before coming down there.”

“You got it, babe.” I salute her, which only earns me a death glare.

I’m not sure how long it takes her to get her sneakers on, but I stare at the wall, questioning how I ended up in this mess.

Lana. Cami. Graduation.

I smack my forehead. “Right. That’s how.”

“I can’t believe this right now.” Lana scowls as she walks down the stairs. It only deepens as she assesses the mess surrounding me.

I flinch. “I didn’t mean to break it.”

Her eyes glaze over, looking shiny underneath the chandelier. I hate the look on her face almost as much as the silence building between us as she analyzes the broken shards of glass.

“I’ll buy you a new one. I promise.”

“I don’t want a new one. I want this one,” she snaps.

“I’m sorry.” My bottom lip juts out. I saw Cami do it once and it automatically worked on Lana, so maybe I will get lucky too. “It was an accident.”

“Accidents happen, but getting drunk is a choice.”

“You’re right. A bad choice.”

“Yet you keep making it anyway. God, Cal. You’re thirty-three years old. Act like it.” She points at the spot I’m standing in. “Stay right there.”

She disappears around the corner before returning a minute later with a broom, a dustpan, and a trash bin. Her anger is like a fire, sucking all the oxygen out of the room as I stand there, useless and silent, while she begins sweeping the mess into a corner opposite of me.

“Who got you flowers?” I point at the mix of wildflowers strewn across the floor. “Was it a guy?”

Smooth, Cal. She will never suspect a single thing.

She shakes her head and keeps sweeping. “I’m not getting into this with you right now.”

“Why? Because it’s true?”

“Because you’re drunk and acting like a jealous idiot over someone who doesn’t even matter.”

“So what if I am jealous?”

“Why would you be?”

“Because…”

“Because what?” She shoots me a pointed look.

I bite down on my cheek to keep my last shred of dignity after throwing away most of it tonight. She gives up waiting and begins sweeping harder this time, making a few pieces of glass fly across the hardwood floor.

“Did you even bother going to rehab again?” she asks after the longest minute of silence. Her question comes off nonchalant, but there is a tightness in her shoulders as she sweeps.

I laugh. “Of course. Want to take a guess on how that turned out?” I try to bow but my coordination is severely lacking, so I nearly topple over. This time I don’t have a table to save me, so I flap my arms until I regain my balance.

Pathetic, Cal. Absolutely pathetic.

She stares at me with an expression I can’t make sense of given how much alcohol is pumping through my veins.

“I don’t want to pity you, but I do.”

“Exactly what every man wants to hear from the woman he loves.”

She blinks once. Twice. Three times before she strings a sentence together. “And that’s our cue to get you to bed.”

“Are you joining me?”

She grabs my arm and leads me up the stairs and toward my old room while grumbling to herself in Spanish. We walk in tandem to my bed. My center of gravity is thrown off when the tip of my sneaker catches on the floor, throwing Lana off-balance too.

“Whoops. My bad.” I laugh it off.

Her heavy sigh makes my chest hurt. She guides me toward the bed without any other incident. Once my ass safely lands on the foam mattress, she steps away, but not before I latch on to her wrist.

I tease the inside of it, earning the softest gasp. “I’m sorry.”

She tries to tug her hand free, but my grip holds. “Stop saying that.”

“Why?”

“Because words have meaning, and your actions cheapen them.”

My grip on her hand loosens, so she takes advantage and detaches herself from me. The crack in my chest expands, revealing the emptiness within.

“Sleep it off” is the last thing she says before my bedroom door clicks shut, leaving me alone with my demons to keep me company.