Between Never and Forever: Part 2 – Chapter 16

I could have fought him on the whole apartment situation but being at the Black Diamond was much easier. His penthouse suite would allow me to take an elevator down to the Orpheum and be ready to practice right when I wanted. There was ample space in the guest room, plus an office, the sauna, and the gym, along with two more bathrooms and a huge tub in the primary en suite bathroom that I wanted to indulge in daily.

It’s why I went to pack my apartment and then spent the afternoon talking with Dex’s assistant, who I decided was much too nice and beautiful to be his assistant. My mind was already full of unwarranted jealousy when it came to him.

She showed up asking about where all my belongings should be placed. I told her the primary suite was perfect and that we should move some of Dex’s clothes out of the closet. “You know how it is. I’m having more clothes brought in, so he’s giving me the closet.”

She peered into his closet. “He’s quite particular about where he puts things in here—”

“I’m guessing he’s quite particular about a lot with you, huh?” I waited to see if she would indulge in telling me anything about him.

Her blue eyes widened as she stopped straightening a statue on one of the shelves of the dresser. “Yes.” She said it hesitantly at first but then smiled at me. “As his fiancée, you know his quirks, I’m sure. All watches in a particular order in their case, cuff links placed together in their respective boxes, all his shoes polished after each wear and aligned perfectly with toes facing out. Just as he runs his business, he runs his house.”

“Right. It’s why he still wants his own space. In the guest room.” I emphasized my point, and she chose not to argue.

“I’ll be honest, he doesn’t like anything moved. Or tampered with. Or, well, I’m sure you know.” She eyed me suspiciously now. She was catching on like she may have had reservations when he’d called her to acquire a huge diamond ring. She even glanced at the box on the nightstand and then my bare finger.

“Did Dex give you all the details on this arrangement?”

“Nope.” Her eyes narrowed on me and I saw her straighten her small frame though, like she wanted me to respect her in some way. “I can put two and two together though.”

“I don’t doubt that.” I took a breath and took a leap of faith. “We’re old friends. This benefits us both.”

She nodded, but I caught the small gasp from her lips like she couldn’t believe I was divulging anything personal. Then she smiled and I saw how her eyes crinkled at the corners before she said softly, “Thanks for trusting me with that. I’ll do my best to be discreet and accommodate you both.”

Before she left, she let me know that movers would be coming soon.

I sighed. Taking a bath in that tub overlooking the city would have to wait. I wouldn’t risk people I didn’t know walking in and out of the suite while I wasn’t on full alert. Instead, I walked around my new home and realized Dex’s resort and casino, as well as the design of this penthouse, was everything I wanted. He had splashes of color through every room, clean lines of granite countertops mixed with dark wood floors and chandeliers above. It was classy, chic, and luxurious.

Even with the perfect furnishings and decor that I loved, it occurred to me I had to make this living space mine for the time I’d be here. The primary bedroom was as much mine as it was his. Plus, he had an office, a workout room, and a damn sauna down the hall. He would be just fine. This was an equal partnership. So, I was going to get equal treatment.

Although it didn’t feel that way. He could abandon this deal at any second, and my world would crumble. If I walked away from him, he’d probably be better off.

One of the movers grumbled that they needed to hurry. He didn’t want to be here when Dex got home. Clearly, Dex had a reputation around this resort. People were afraid to mess up the order he created, and I saw it more and more around his house. His fridge was stocked with drinks all lined up perfectly. His cabinets held mugs with the handles all turned the exact same way.

I was going to mess up all his order, and a part of me knew it would make him mad enough to lose control. A part of me wanted that. The fact that I was looking forward to it clearly showed we were heading toward having a super healthy relationship.

Even still, I felt lighter than I had in months, maybe years. We’d weighed each other down, and we were going to be able to shuck that weight off one way or another.

I called Olive to share the news, then Dimitri. I shared the reality of it with them because there was no way they’d believe I’d actually gotten engaged. When I tried to tell Dimitri I’d see him tomorrow for a meal, he balked. “We’re discussing this now. Where are you?”

“I’m…well…” I plopped down on the plush white couch and glanced out the window at the city before I breathed out, “We decided to move in together.”

“What? You’re absolutely not doing that.” His tone sounded final. “That’s never going to work.”

“It might actually work just fine, Dimitri.” I brushed at the plush fabric so as not to get concerned that I was making him worry too much. “You know, because then I’ll be at the resort all the time and—”

“You’re staying at the Black Diamond? Are you in his fucking penthouse right now, Kee?”

“This isn’t a big deal.”

“It is a big deal,” he grumbled. “My brother’s gone completely off the deep end. And you know what? I dealt with the damn breakup last time. With both of you.”

“Did you not want us to work things through?” I countered as I got up to pace. Then, I speed walked to my room and plopped down on the bed and then straightened as I watched another mover breeze by. They didn’t seem interested in me at all, but I’d been wrong before.

“I’m coming up,” Dimitri grumbled and then clicked off the phone. And honestly, I’d feel better with him here anyway.

It wasn’t long before Olive, being more of an assistant than hairstylist, had rounded up our makeshift fashion designer, Pink, and was on her way over with her too.

Dimitri bickered with me for all of five minutes before succumbing to the fact that initially this had sort of been his idea, and he didn’t want many more details about it. I didn’t want to share them either.

Instead, I tried on the clothes Pink had brought with her from the entertainment dressing rooms, and we all stared at my outfit in the mirror. I was in a yellow pleather skirt that stopped just below my butt and a yellow pleather bralette that tied in the back like a corset.

“That’s not going to work,” Olive announced, glaring at her fashion friend.

“It will.” Pink flipped her bangs and came over to me to wiggle the top more into place over my chest. There really wasn’t any helping the fact that my boobs were spilling out.

“Well, it would work for a school bus look. Like a sexy school bus driver that shouldn’t really be sexy because you’re driving kids to school and—” Dimitri stood there grumbling in his three-piece suit like he was important.

“Stop,” Olive cut him off. “It doesn’t work, Pink. This is what you see as sexy chic?”

“This is what I could round up quickly,” she corrected. “The designers are behind on getting Kee’s clothing in, okay?”

“Of course they are,” I grumbled, because what else would go wrong during my stay here.

“It’ll be fine,” Pink reassured me. “But right now, this wardrobe is what we had for casino performers. We’ll have everything we need in a month, and now we can make changes. Who cares if they’re behind on the old designs when you need new ones anyway? So, for this week in rehearsal, we’re going to need to improvise. Plus, pop stars are supposed to show a little skin.”

Olive shook her head. “Not that much skin. I wanted a Marilyn Monroe classic, not Big Bird from Sesame Street at the club.”

Pink turned to assess me again, and we all saw the small smirk on her face as she tried her best to sell us a look that would never be received.

I slumped, looking at the mirror. “If I wear this at rehearsals, is it going to set a tone? And I shouldn’t just be changing my whole wardrobe when designers are already working on outfits. I’ll be overwhelming everyone, especially if we announce my engagement to Dex. I don’t want them to feel like all eyes are going to be on us.”

“Okay, well, don’t announce it, then. I still think it’s a terrible idea,” Dimitri jumped in to add.

“We already finalized the agreement with the record label.”

“We can get out of it.” Dimitri shrugged like he’d do anything for us and it wouldn’t cause a burden.

“Dimitri, it’s done.” I sighed and tried not to think about the fact that the Hardy’s legal team would most likely be looking over my contracts soon enough too.

It was only a matter of time before Dex saw how little money I made and how even that small amount was whittled away by my father claiming he’d spend it on my mother. I hoped to at least keep that part to myself.

I’d signed away most of my life. It was detrimental to agree to every little thing the record label asked of me but I’d done it for my family. We all did stupid things for family. And I’d do it again.

That was the hardest part. If Dex somehow found out everything and asked me, I’d tell him that I’d do it again and again. I did it for my mother and father. It’s what you had to do for family.

Now, I wondered if I could make it on my own and support them both, too, because I was going to try. I couldn’t stay with Trinity for a second longer.

Olive must have seen my despair because she offered, “How about we allow for a costume change at the end of the show, where you can sing new music, okay? We’ll fade the lights. It’ll be organic and low-key. Intimate—just the way you want. The dress can be low-key too. Maybe just a black one. It’s raw. It’s you in your bedroom at night, belting out your broken heart anyway, right? That’s not glamorous. And we want your emotion to showcase the songwriting, not the costumes.”

I took a deep breath and held my hand to my bare stomach. We could do this. I had to believe in myself. It would be hard and tiring and extremely fast-paced backstage to get this all worked out, but we could shift the performance structure and my brand.

“Or how about none of this is a good idea right now? It is fucking ludicrous to take this on, Kee.” Dimitri groaned and then pinched the bridge of his perfectly straight nose. I hated that every time I saw him, I was reminded of how good-looking he and his brothers were.

“Are we back to this?” I rolled my eyes and studied myself in the mirror, trying to understand how I could communicate a rawness and vulnerability, how to build that into my brand, and how to make it mine again.

“Yeah, because you rebranding and then trying to do it while being engaged to my brother, living here? It’s— I think you and Dex might kill each other.”

“Be realistic.” I waved away his concern.

“You realize my brother is going to come through that door and flip the fuck out when he sees you moved all your stuff into his room?”

“He wanted me to move in.” It’s exactly what I was going to say to him too. I then pointed to my purple bedspread. “I’m just making myself at home.”

“Did he say to do that?”

“I don’t care what he said.” I fluffed my hair in front of the bralette.

“It looks like a purple bomb went off in here.”

“Purple’s my favorite color.” I even had got my nails painted purple for Dom’s wedding. I didn’t have a problem showing it off. I had a purple painting hanging over the bed. It was abstract but sort of reminded me of a sad face. A purple throw pillow was nestled into the armchair in the corner. I’d arranged my favorite purple vase on the dresser.

“You don’t need this right now.” He had his hands on his hips.

“Whatever. Did you have to come over dressed like you were on your way to a meeting? Why are you fully dressed in a suit?” I pointed to Dimitri and curled my lip as I plopped down on the soft king-size bed.

“I was at work.”

Olive sat next to me and scoffed. “You look stuffy.”

“You look homely,” he countered, crossing his arms and staring down at us. “How do you even have the job of doing her hair when you can’t do your own?”

Olive just laughed, straightened the little Hawaiian flower in her hair, and brushed her curls out of her face at Dimitri’s barb because she had to have known it didn’t mean anything. They threw insults back and forth like they were playing ping-pong most days. She crossed her legs and leaned onto my shoulder. “Let’s be honest. I’m the only one who will put up with the ridiculous hair styles they ask me to do with Keelani’s hair.”

“Hey! My hair is easy.”

“You have about the same amount of hair as three horse manes. You think it’s easy tying it up in a bun every time you go on stage?”

“Yeah. Well, I don’t expect I’ll be tying it up much anymore.” I glanced at Pink. “You said it’s a new look.”

She shrugged. “It’s necessary. Let your hair go free along with your brand.”

“See!” I spun to wink at Dimitri. “Everyone agrees this is a good idea except for you.”

“That’s because you’ve surrounded yourself with delusional friends.”

“Ones who believe in me.”

“Delulu is the new you-you,” Pink singsonged, and Dimitri groaned. “By the way, let’s see the engagement ring. Where is it?”

I shook my head. “I’m not wearing it until we’re actually publicly engaged.”

Olive chimed in. “Smart. Also, I’d like the record to state I’m not sure I’m all for this engagement, but I’m all for your new look.”

Dimitri’s eyes narrowed on Olive’s. “Look. I wanted her and Dex to work through their past, but get engaged? You think she’s capable of handling all that along with a rebrand?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I interjected.

“You want me to spell it out for you?”

I frowned at him because I highly doubted he would. “Please do.”

“Why do you need this rebrand now? Why not in a year or two or even three?”

“I don’t know. There’s a lot of reasons,” I said. Yet, I looked away from my best friend, and he caught me immediately. He knew as well as I did there were only a few reasons I kept singing my songs to the masses. It wasn’t for the fame. I hated the press. Hated my record label even more. And the money hadn’t been good until this Black Diamond deal with Dex.

None of that mattered though. It was for my family. For my mother. For her comfort. For her love. And maybe, hopefully, one day for her recognition.

“Why don’t you give us one big reason?”

I pushed off the bed and paced back and forth. “You want me to say it?”

“I want you to know that’s not what you should be doing this for.”

“Why?” I shrugged. “So what if it’s a little about my mom? I just want her to be comfortable and to maybe see—”

“Kee.” He sighed out my name, and I hated the sound because I knew what would follow. “Do you realize her comfort isn’t something you can fully provide and that she may not ever fully know you again?” That stopped my pacing. Those words hit me like a semi going seventy on the freeway and obliterated my optimism.

“It’s not about what we think. It’s about what’s possible. And it could be possible. You have no idea.” Olive was up and going toe-to-toe with Dimitri, mad he was trying to be realistic.

I stepped between them and shook my head, my hair swaying back and forth and covering up how I felt in that moment. They were both looking out for me in different ways. “Neither of you are wrong. It could go either way. But who would I be if I didn’t try?”

“Trying to push yourself through all this is asking for a breakdown. You want that on your image?”

“I’m capable of handling this, Dimitri.”

“Yes, I’m not arguing that you’re incapable. I’m arguing whether it’s healthy or not. You have to take care of yourself for once.”

“I am. I always do.” I crossed my arms.

“You have never put yourself first. And if I have to make sure to protect you from—” He was cut off from a voice behind us.

“Protect my fiancée from who?” Dex said.

I jumped and whipped around as Olive murmured, “Jesus.”

Dex had the uncanny ability to sneak up on anyone when he wanted to, but Dimitri didn’t seem surprised. He turned to confront his brother. “You had her move in? What are you playing at?”

“It was a mutual decision between me and your best friend, Dimitri.” He sneered the label. “I’m sure she told you, considering you’re the one who forced us into such close proximity in the first place.”

“Don’t put that shit on me.” Dimitri took a step toward him. “She’s not doing this. You need to reevaluate what you’re asking of her, because she’s going through too much right now to—”

“Stop,” I blurted out abruptly. He knew I didn’t share my mother’s condition with anyone unnecessarily, and I knew that was what he was about to do.

“You gotta be honest,” Dimitri practically pleaded.

“Honest about what?” Dex questioned.

“Nothing.” I glared at them both. This was my life, and I was going to make my own decisions about it for once. “This is about my wardrobe. Nothing else. If you’re here for that, feel free to stay. If not, I’d like my room to myself because I have work to do.”

It took that moment for Dex to realize the room’s changes. The colors. The bedspread. The few pillows and vase.

My name came from deep in his chest, low in warning. “Kee.”

“Oh, look at the time,” Pink said suddenly. “I have another client. I’ll be leaving now.”

Dex didn’t take his eyes off me. “You can all leave. But, since I’m sure Kee told you, the engagement is real to anyone else and don’t spread the news until PR does. See yourselves out.”

“Whatever,” I grumbled and went to unpack a box with a purple lamp in it.

“No.” Dex pointed at it.

I intentionally set it down hard on the dresser. “It looks beautiful here.”

“Beautiful? I had interior designers from around the world come in to decorate this place. You’re going to drive me insane moving everything around.”

Olive and Pink waved from behind Dex then abandoned me, leaving me with the two Hardy brothers. They stood there bickering over me, and I tried my best not to have a moment of déjà vu. They were bigger now but still argued like boys, and I stood there like a girl totally enamored with both of them in different ways. Dimitri would protect me always, and Dex would push all my buttons to see me spiral into oblivion with him.

“Exactly. She will drive you insane,” Dimitri emphasized. “It’s why I didn’t tell you to have her move in with you. I didn’t even tell you to get engaged. I wanted you two to work things out, not blow things up.”

“Trinity required her to have a prominent partner and be seen with him. And Keelani signed without a single protest, I guess.” He rolled his eyes, showing he didn’t agree with me just signing things either.

I popped a hip out now to interject. “Do you think I don’t have a backbone or something?”

“Not with them.” Dex shrugged and then looked me up and down. “Would you disagree?”

“Don’t say that shit to her.” Dimitri shoved Dex, and Dex looked down at his chest where Dimitri’s hands had just been and smiled. No dimples this time. Just teeth that he ran his tongue over.

“You want to fight this fight now?” He cracked his neck, and that’s when I knew things were getting out of hand.

“There’s no fight to fight. What’s wrong with you two?” I shook my head and stood between them, still with my hands holding my bralette up. “I have rehearsal tomorrow. We need to prep my wardrobe, and I have voice lessons. So, this is fine. Everyone’s fine. Let’s all just be fine.” Both brothers stared at each other over my head. So I stomped a foot. “Knock it off.”

“This is a bad idea,” Dimitri stated one last time.

“We’ll make note of your opinion,” Dex retorted.

Dimitri took a deep breath and then his light-green eyes were on me. “You good?”

I nodded and patted his chest. “It’ll be fine, promise. Now help me out of this top.” I tried to be lighthearted as I lifted my hair so he could untie the pleather crisscrossing of the bralette.

His hands unthreaded the strings while he said, “Sure.”

But Dex stepped up behind me. “I’ll take care of undressing my fiancée.”

“Dex—” I sighed.

“You gotta be kidding me,” Dimitri grumbled. Yet, his hands were already pulling away from my back like he knew that was a line his brother wouldn’t allow to be crossed. “Let’s get one thing straight right now, brother. You’re not going to make rules about Kee and me. You lost that privilege.”

“Did I? Interesting. It seems the title of fiancée—”

“Doesn’t mean shit when it’s only for appearances,” Dimitri finished for him.

“She’s still my fiancée.” Dex said it like it was a clean-cut statement, no argument for anything else.

“Fake fiancée,” I corrected and sighed. He had to realize his brother was protecting me. And then I leaned my head on Dimitri’s shoulder. “D will always be my best friend, Dex.”

Dimitri kissed my forehead and sighed. “If we all come out of this alive, you both owe me a damn dinner.”

Dex cracked his knuckles. “Let us get through it then.”

Dimitri stared at him before looking back at me. I shrugged because, honestly, it was just another thing I needed to add to the list to get through in my life.

“You’re a masochist. Or a genius. Or both, Keelani.” He squeezed me before he let me go and murmured, “Call me if you need me.”

I replied back, “Always when, never if.”

“She won’t need you,” Dex announced.

“She most definitely will. It’s why I’ll be here the whole six months, Dex. Watching to make sure you don’t fuck this up.” Then, he said, “You hurt my best friend, I break your face, Dex, even if you are my brother.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way, Dimitri,” Dex said, but he was staring at me now, a look I couldn’t quite read on his face.

I guess it was a sibling bond. I was an only child, so I didn’t quite understand it. It was like they needed to get it out of their systems and draw the proper lines.

Dimitri clapped him on the shoulder and then kissed my cheek. With that, my best friend left his brother and me standing alone.

“I’m going to ask this once, and I know I shouldn’t. Did you have something with my brother?”