Between Never and Forever: Part 2 – Chapter 38

His face reddened, his whole body seemed to lock up in fury, and his eyes held malice as he stared at that envelope for hours. I tried to reassure him it was just an obsessed fan, someone who was probably making a joke or had taken their obsession a bit too far.

Still, Dex didn’t come to bed that night. He told me he would be in his office working and I knew what he was working on.

The problem with technology was it didn’t track letters and those red envelopes didn’t have fingerprints on them. Someone had been too careful, but Dex would be more meticulous in his search.

I could see it even when that week rolled into the next and he packed his suitcase for our hometown. He told me to do the same.

“We shouldn’t be getting married,” I told him, worrying over how tense he looked. Yet, I knew we were too close to the date. I also knew that the record label was running with the story, that Dex wouldn’t back down, and that I would have to see this through.

“Of course we should be,” he replied. “You want to get divorced in a few months, fine. But this is the plan until you’re done with Trinity. What are you so worried about anyway? You can’t think being married will be much different than being engaged.”

“Well, no. But…this is a huge thing to do. It could be hell to deal with.”

“We do huge things for family though right? And you’re family. You’re mine. I’ll go to hell and burn there for all I care. You think I won’t?” He stopped what he was doing to stare at me then. He was daring me to disagree.

Silence stretched between us before I finally sighed. “Marriage then. For a little while.”

He huffed and went back to work.

When the time came, he drove us to the corporate airfield and we got on the private jet.

That’s when it started to feel more real. Olive, Pink, and Dimitri passed us in the aisle to go to their seats and Olive murmured for me to check my phone.

“Jesus, what are we doing?” I whispered as I stared at the text she’d sent.

“They’re dragging you through the mud because of me.” I closed my eyes, growling at that, and pounded the top of my phone so the screen would turn off. Then I stared out the window of Vegas getting smaller and smaller as we approached the clouds. “I can’t let this happen again.”

Dex shrugged at my frustration. “You realize that this time, I’m letting it happen,” he said and turned to give me a small smirk. He looked lighter and less stressed now, as if we could relax even though we were barreling toward saying I do when we should have been saying I don’t.

“This is serious, Dex.” I held up my phone to show him and then started to ramble. “The media outlets are trying to paint you as some man who needs redemption and that’s not true. I can’t be responsible for that. You should release a statement on your own. You could discredit the label and me if you need to.”

“Keelani Hale.” He stopped me by dropping my full name. “Do you ever let someone help you?”

“Help me with what?”

“With handling your life. You’ve done all this for far too long on your own. You know that?”

I huffed at his comment. “So what? I’m used to it. They’re ruining your image and twisting mine and—”

“Who cares?” Dex patted my leg and opened his laptop, not at all influenced. “It takes one social media post from us to quell the news anyway. It’ll be fine. We’re just not giving them anything right now, so they’re recreating drama.”

“Don’t you see how terrible that is?” I shoved his hand off my thigh at the fact he wasn’t as offended. I was offended for him. He protected me, watched over me, made me feel freaking free. Yet, they were saying he did the complete opposite. It was wrong. They’d been wrong for years but now I wanted justice. I wanted to rage and act out and release a statement that would ruin Trinity. I didn’t care anymore. He was doing too much for me and receiving nothing in return. “And you’re spending unnecessary amounts of time on people who are mad I’m engaged to you.”

“Are you talking about your fucking stalker, Kee?” he gritted out, his eyes turning dark as he stopped looking at his laptop to glare at me.

“It’s merely a fan,” I tried. “They’re mad I’m not single and—’

“All the more reason to get married,” he bellowed. “Don’t you see that? I’m not going to let someone threaten my girl.”

“Dex—’

“No, Kee. You’re mine. You can take all the time you want to accept that, but they can’t.” His jaw worked up and down. I didn’t know how to accept it when I was scared to burden him with all this, when I was scared there wasn’t a way we’d truly be able to make it after everything we’d been through.

He continued on, “I’ve started running checks on every celebrity you’ve talked with in the last couple years. And we should pull a list of people at events who’ve shown up repeatedly.”

“Dex, I promise it’s nothing,” I told him and squeezed his arm.

He stared at me for a beat and then breathed out like he was trying to dissipate his concern. “Okay, heartbreaker. It’s nothing.” He rolled his eyes. “Let’s focus on the wedding. You iron out everything you wanted with Penelope?”

“I told her we could get married at the courthouse and take some pictures around the gazebo in town, Dex. Nothing big.”

He hummed and nodded.

“We can make an easy enough social media post on that. I’m hoping it will squash rumors, like you said.”

“Right. We will most likely do an interview too. Mitchell wanted that for the record label.”

My gut twisted at him doing another thing he shouldn’t have to do for me. “Dex, you shouldn’t—’

“I want to,” he concluded. “Don’t worry, okay? Look, you got your team back there.” He waved back at Olive, Dimitri, and Pink. They’d agreed to come. Yet, we didn’t invite the rest of Dex’s family because I hadn’t agreed to this being any more than a sham. I was retreating back to the agreement where I could protect Dex from my problems, from my fame, from stalkers, and from my label.

Thankfully, his family had all been very understanding—supposedly—when Dex told them.

“I could still call Mitchell to see if maybe we could—”

“You’re in the air, halfway home. The venue is set.” He turned back to Olive and Pink, who were a few rows back in plush seats, drinking and talking over stage sets. “Ladies, Kee thinks we shouldn’t go through with the marriage and instead just do a press release. Thoughts on that?”

Olive frowned. “If that’s what you want, we’ll support you, but the photographers have been vetted and approved. I think the pictures will speak volumes on social media too.”

“Personally, I get why you don’t want to marry him.” Pink smirked at Dex. “But it’s the best way to avoid drama with the record label and shut the media up. Just do it.”

Pink and Olive went back to talking, and I turned to Dex. “They shouldn’t be painting this type of picture, and you shouldn’t have to marry me to change it.”

“What if I just want to marry you?” Dex stared at me, his green eyes bright.

“I don’t know if you’re thinking right after seeing that last letter, Dex,” I whispered to him now because I knew that letter had sent him into a tailspin. I saw how he’d paced the room after, how he’d stayed up late that night, how he’d bothered the post office again and again before coming to the conclusion that the marriage was an even better idea to deter all my stalkers. According to him, he was now convinced I had a thousand.

“You’re marrying me this weekend, heartbreaker.” He went back to his laptop too.

That sounded so real. So final. “For the press,” I added on quietly.

“Sure, heartbreaker,” he murmured. “Whatever you say. If that makes you feel better. You need to relax. Want me to help you?” The devilish smirk I knew now as him thinking dirty thoughts surfaced.

I chuckled nervously but my body reacted. “What? Absolutely not. I’ll read,” I huffed. I needed to escape from my nerves anyway. I could escape into a book for a bit. I pulled up a book on my phone.

Every now and then, he’d squeeze my knee or look over from his laptop to drag a finger across my cheek. It was every time I was reading a spicy part of the book, and I would swat his hand away.

“Just making sure you’re aware of the parts you like, heartbreaker. Highlight them so you can read them to me later.”

I bit my lip and nodded because I wanted to do that too much to deny it. “You’re almost to book boyfriend status by saying that.”

“The goal is to get to book husband status.” His eyes darkened as my lips parted and then he leaned forward to unbutton and discard his suit jacket. “You know what, fuck it. You need this.”

He draped the jacket over my legs. “Why? I’m not cold. It’s—”

Suddenly, his hand disappeared under the jacket, and I felt his fingers dip into the waistband of my yoga pants. “No you’re not cold. You’re fucking hot. I’ve stared at your ass all day in these pants. And now you’re sitting next to me wound up and wet.”

“I’m not—” I gasped as he pushed my panties to the side. His fingers slid easily over my arousal.

“Go ahead. Finish that sentence. Tell me you’re not soaking right now.” He whispered in my ear, “I want to see how well you lie as my fingers slide into you.”

Jesus, his mouth was dirty when he wanted it to be. “You can’t seriously be doing this right now. Dimitri, Olive, and—”

“They’re all at the way back of the plane behind us, occupied with their own shit.” He licked my ear. “Be good and quiet and they won’t know I’m making you come.”

My breathing picked up as my adrenaline rose. All worries dispersed as my pussy tightened in excitement. My body wasn’t going to deny itself.

Then Olive asked across the plane, “Kee, you wanted to keep your location quiet until after the wedding, right?”

Her question made total sense, and I knew the answer, but my teeth dug into my bottom lip in an effort to keep from moaning. All I could focus on were his two fingers sliding into me fast and curling up against the walls of my sex, intensifying how close I was to the brink. My clothing clung to me now as heat washed over my body, and I saw how a sheen of perspiration glistened even on my arms.

“Answer your friend, heartbreaker,” Dex murmured in my ear.

“Yes, that’s great,” I said, breathless, but my friend seemed to take that as a good enough answer because she didn’t ask me anything further. “So great,” I murmured quietly.

“Now, spread your legs a little,” he told me, and I listened, complying without any hesitation. “That’s right. Let me help you relax, huh? So nervous about a little wedding like you haven’t been thinking of marrying me forever. I’m going to be your husband, heartbreaker. And you’re going to fucking like it.” He slid another finger inside me while pressing his thumb hard into my swollen clit. Then he worked me faster and faster. “You’re going to love it, Kee. Say it.”

I ran a hand through my tousled hair, trying to keep myself looking normal for my friends behind me, but then I met his hungry gaze. Dex was fixated on me, his pupils dilated, his sight lingering on my lips. Somehow, our connection ignited the fire in me, and I couldn’t stop from rolling my hips. There’d always been something primal between us that simmered underneath it all there, something I’d never be able to shake, and in that moment, it took over. He must have felt it, too, because he pulled me close and kissed me as I came. I whimpered softly into his mouth as my pussy tightened around his hand.

He groaned and pulled his fingers from me before he brought them up and commanded quietly, “Open.”

I looked at him in question, but did as I was told, tasting my salty cum on his fingertips.

Against my ear, his voice rumbled out, “See how excited your pussy is to have me as a husband? Can’t you already tell what you taste like?” He waited a beat. “You taste like you’ll be forever mine.”

My heart probably fell all the way in love with him at that moment, jumping right off the cliff without being concerned at all with the repercussions.

Could we make it? Could we somehow work through everything and stay married? My heart was all for the idea, but my mind wasn’t as reckless.

I breathed in deep before I asked him, “What if we end up just a memory of each other, Dex? You speak of forever like it can happen. Do you really think—after everything we’ve been through—we should be walking down the aisle to try marriage when—”

“Who else would you try marriage with? Who else would you want ‘just memories’ with, Kee?”

I stayed silent as I took in that piercing green gaze of his, so alive with love now when before he’d looked at me with apathy. “I don’t want to lose you again.”

“You won’t because you’re marrying me.” He said it like it would be the easiest thing in the world. It rolled off his tongue, soft and coaxing. Then he bent down to grab his laptop from his bag again.

“I am marrying you, Dex. For just a little. We can annul it later.”

“Hm. How about forever?” He threaded his fingers through mine. Then he assessed the ring he’d put there. “This needs to change.”

I chuckled nervously. “It’s a beautiful ring, Dex. I don’t need—”

“You’ll like purple better.”

A laugh bubbled up out of me because he was right about that. “It doesn’t matter.” I was trying to cling to reality, trying not to get my hopes up as I said, “When you marry someone someday for real, Dex, you won’t have all this baggage, and you can get them the ring they want.”

“We will sift through our baggage for the rest of our lives together. Remember that, heartbreaker. When you meet me at the altar tomorrow, know that if you say I do, it’s for forever with me. Not someone else. You’ll never be with someone else again.”

I chewed on my cheek as I stared at him, trying not to give away that my stomach had butterflies flapping wildly in it at that moment. Dex would do anything to protect me, even give his forever away. I could see it in his deep-green eyes, so serious now before he leaned forward to kiss my cheek, softly and tenderly like I might break.

I had to not be reckless one more time for both of us. For him. He didn’t need my burdens in his life. I’d seen how the burden of someone else could take a toll. “You know, my dad didn’t gamble so much until my mother had problems.”

He squeezed my hand and rubbed a thumb over my knuckles. “Okay?”

“I think he just knew. Even when my mom had that stroke. Something wasn’t exactly right with her after. It’s when he really started to stay out late. He’d come home with news of a lost bet, stumbling around drunk, and sometimes when I’d find him that way, he’d look at me and say, ‘You think she’ll leave me, Kee?’” Dex kissed my hand but didn’t say a word as I thought about that. “Maybe he knew her mind was going even then. He was being left behind by the love of his life, and neither of them could control it. I think it broke him, not being able to help her. I think it still breaks his heart daily.”

Dex nodded. “I know it breaks your heart, too, Kee.”

I took a deep breath. “Right. So what would you do if you knew you were going to burden someone with your life, Dex? Someone you loved?”

“If I loved them?” he said, his eyes holding mine. And when I nodded, his dimples showed because he knew just as well as me that I was telling him I loved him right then and there. “I’d let them choose, heartbreaker. Let someone you love choose to hold that burden with you.”

His words rattled me. The corners of my mouth trembled with unspoken words. My heart warmed over the fact that he wanted me enough to marry me and then cooled over the reality that I shouldn’t do it.

He must have seen the anguish, because he kissed me hard and took what he wanted. His hand slid up my neck and pulled me close. I kissed him back with just as much fervor, not sure how many times we would be able to do this. The responsible thing would have been to never do it again. I felt myself starting to spiral out of control, wanting to act out and draw negative attention, but Dex didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve the life I was about to live.

Yet, he murmured, “Remember, tomorrow all you have to do is say I do.”

When we landed, we were escorted straight to another HEAT hotel, and Dex told me to get some shut-eye as he set my purple suitcase down in one of the bedrooms of the suite. Glancing around, I took in the opulence of yet another one of his resorts. The chandeliers sparkled against the leather furniture, and the down duvet was fluffed perfectly for a good night’s sleep.

When Dex started to back out of our room though, I asked, “Are you not coming to bed?”

“It’s a two-bedroom suite for a reason, Kee. If I lie next to you, I’ll fuck you until you can’t walk down the aisle tomorrow.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Come sleep with me.”

Instead, he stared at me for much too long as silence filled the room. His eyes filled with something close to pain as he frowned.

“What?” I whispered.

“Sometimes I don’t know if you realize how strong you are and how vulnerable you are at the same time. It’s stunning and terrifying.”

“Sometimes I don’t think you realize how sweet you are and then how matter-of-fact you are. You can’t put everyone in a box, Dex.”

“I want to, though. Specifically, I want you in one right next to me.”

I smirked at him. “So you can watch me all the time? You already do that.”

I got his dimples then. “I won’t stop either.”

“One day, you’ll get bored of it.”

“Nope, never.” With that, he left me sitting in that big room on the huge plush bed by myself, thinking of marrying him for real even if I knew I couldn’t.

Every decision I would have to make tomorrow felt humongous even if I knew the venue was small. It felt real even if it shouldn’t have been.