Start Anew

The morning sun filters through the blinds of Earth’s small, neat apartment as he rushes around, trying to get everything in order for the day. His son, Edin, sits at the kitchen table, swinging his legs back and forth in the high chair, as his wide eyes follow his father’s hurried movements.

Earth fumbles through the kitchen, trying to multitask in the most chaotic way possible. His alarm had gone off later than he’d intended, and now every minute counts. The pan on the stove hisses as he cracks another egg into it, barely noticing how the yolk spreads unevenly and the edges crisp up far too fast.

“Daddy, is it ready yet?” Edin asks from the kitchen table, playing with his utensils.

“Almost, bud. Just a few more minutes,” Earth responds, his voice tinge with stress as he juggles pouring coffee into his mug with one hand and flipping the eggs with the other. The result is far from perfect—one egg is burnt on the edges, the other still slightly undercooked. He scrambles to scrape them onto a plate before they completely char.

He takes a deep breath and sets the plate on the table in front of Edin. “Here you go."

Edin picks up his fork and pokes at the egg skeptically, but he doesn’t complain. Earth watches his son for a moment before returning to his own side of the kitchen to grab his cup of coffee. He takes a tentative sip, and immediately his face scrunches up. The bitterness hits him like a punch to the gut.

He forgot to add sugar. Again.

With a sigh, he sets the mug down and glances at the clock. He doesn’t have time to fix it, and there’s certainly no time to start over with breakfast. He looks at the mess he’s made: burnt eggs on his own plate, unsweetened coffee, and toast that’s more charcoal than bread.

“Not exactly a gourmet breakfast, huh?” he mutters to himself as he sits down across from Edin.

Edin looks up with his usual wide, curious eyes. “It’s okay, Daddy,” he says, ever the optimist. “I like crunchy stuff.” He bites into the toast, making a loud crunching sound that almost makes Earth laugh despite himself.

“Glad someone does,” Earth replies, forcing a smile as he pushes his own burnt eggs around the plate. He’s too anxious to eat much anyway. His mind is already on the day ahead—getting Edin to his new preschool, making it to work without being late, and the mountain of tasks waiting for him once he’s there.

There’s always something.

As he watches Edin eat, Earth feels that familiar pang of guilt. This morning is a perfect example of how things have been since he became a single father—rushed, imperfect, and barely held together by sheer determination. He wants to do better, to give Edin more than burnt eggs and a father who’s always running late. But sometimes it feels like no matter how hard he tries, it’s never quite enough.

As soon as Edin is done with his breakfast, Earth tidies the table and grabs his son's shoes. "Come on, buddy, let’s get your shoes on," Earth says, crouching down to help Edin with his sneakers.

Earth feels a twinge of sadness as puts on Edin's socks. Edin had to switch schools because of Earth’s demanding job as an architect. The new preschool is a bit close to his office, which should make drop-offs and pick-ups easier—at least, that’s the hope.

But even as Earth reasons with himself, he can’t shake the anxiety creeping up his spine. He wonders if Edin will adjust well, if the new teacher will be understanding of their situation, and if Earth will be able to keep up with his work without feeling like he’s failing as a parent.

Earth kneels in front of Edin, his fingers deftly working on tying the tiny shoelaces of his son’s sneakers. Edin looks down at him, his big eyes wide with curiosity, as though the idea of a new school has just fully dawned on him.

“A new school, Daddy?” Edin asks, his voice soft and full of wonder.

Earth pauses for a moment, glancing up at his son’s innocent face. His heart clenches, as it always does when Edin looks at him like that—trusting, full of hope, not yet aware of the weight of change. Earth forces a smile as he tightens the laces and finishes the bow.

“Yes, honey,” Earth replies gently, his hands resting on Edin’s knees for a moment. “A new school.”

Edin’s eyes flicker with thought, his little mouth pursing as he processes this information. Then he asks the question Earth has been dreading, though he knew it would come sooner or later.

“So... that means I won’t see Ms. Janjan anymore?” Edin’s voice is quiet, laced with a kind of innocent sadness, as if he’s only just realizing the gravity of switching schools.

Earth feels his heart squeeze painfully at the mention of Edin’s old teacher. Ms. Janhee had been a bright spot in their lives during a difficult time, always patient and kind with Edin, especially after Earth’s separation. Edin had adored her, and knowing he wouldn’t see her every day anymore was tough for both of them.

Earth swallows the lump in his throat as he finishes tying Edin’s laces. He tries to keep his voice light, even though it aches to think of taking something else away from his son. “For now, yes, love. You won’t see Ms. Janhee every day, but I’m sure your new teacher will be lovely.”

Edin frowns for a brief second, but it’s fleeting. In the next moment, his face brightens with excitement, a smile spreading across his face as only a child’s can—easily, full of trust in the world.

“Oooh! I can’t wait!” Edin cheers, bouncing on his feet, his earlier concerns seemingly forgotten.

Earth watches his son’s excitement with a bittersweet smile. He wishes he could see the world through Edin’s eyes—where every new experience is an adventure, and change is something to look forward to, not fear. He ruffles Edin’s hair lightly, his heart both heavy and light at the same time.

As they walk to the car, Edin chatters excitedly about the new school, his mind racing with possibilities. Earth listens, nodding and responding when needed, though his thoughts are elsewhere. He hopes, more than anything, that this new chapter will be good for Edin. That the new school, the new teacher, and everything that comes with it will help fill the void he sometimes fears Edin feels too keenly.

When they finally pull up to the preschool, Earth parks the car and glances in the rearview mirror at Edin, who is gazing wide-eyed at the colorful playground visible through the fence. The sight of his son’s excitement eases some of Earth’s tension. He wants this to be a good experience for Edin, to give him stability despite the whirlwind of life they’ve been navigating since Edin’s mother left. They walk hand in hand toward the entrance. Earth’s heart races, partly from the rush of the morning and partly from his own nervousness.

He’s always found it hard to rely on others, especially when it comes to his son. But as they step inside, Earth is greeted by a warm, inviting atmosphere—a welcome change from the clinical, detached vibe of Edin’s previous preschool.

At the door of the classroom, Earth hesitates for a moment, scanning the room. His eyes land on a figure standing near the front of the class, greeting the arriving children with a warm, easy smile. The man is dressed in casual but neat clothes, his shirt slightly rolled up at the sleeves, giving him an approachable air that immediately catches Earth’s attention.

And as soon as Edin’s eyes land on him, the little boy’s grip on Earth’s hand loosens.

"That must be him," Earth thinks to himself, feeling a strange flutter of uncertainty.

There’s something about meeting the person who will spend so much time with your child, someone who will inevitably play a role in shaping their days. Earth knows how important this first impression is, but he feels oddly out of place as a father in this moment, unsure of what to expect.

His suspicion is confirmed when a group of children, already inside the classroom, excitedly call out, "Teacher! Teacher!" as they run toward the man. The kids swarm around him, pulling on his hands and showing him their toys, clearly comfortable and happy in his presence. He responds to each one with patience and genuine interest, bending down to speak at their level, his smile never fading.

Earth exhales a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. It's a small thing, seeing how the children react to him, but it helps ease the tight knot of anxiety he’s been carrying all morning. If the other kids trust him, maybe Edin will too.

The teacher—Mix, Earth recalls from the school’s welcome email—catches Earth’s eye for a moment and waves with a bright smile, as if recognizing him immediately as Edin’s father. Earth offers a polite nod, still feeling a little out of his element

Mix walks towards them and as he reaches them, he crouches down to Edin's level, his knees bending so he's eye-to-eye with the young boy.

“You must be the new kid,” Mix says, his tone soft but playful, as if trying to coax Edin into opening up. “Hi! What’s your name?”

Edin hesitates for a moment, a small shy smile forming on his lips as he glances up at his father for reassurance. Earth gives him a gentle nod, and Edin gathers the courage to answer.

“I’m Edin,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper, but the smile widens ever so slightly.

“Hi, Edin!” Mix replies enthusiastically, his face lighting up with a genuine, welcoming smile. “I’m Teacher Mix. Nice to meet you. How old are you, Edin?”

Edin quickly makes a mental count, his tiny brow furrowing in concentration as he gestures with his hand. He lifts his fingers, one by one, and proudly shows them to Mix’s face, his eyes gleaming with excitement. “I’m four!” he exclaims, his voice ringing with childlike enthusiasm.

“Wow, four years old! That’s a big number, Edin!” Mix replies, his tone playful and encouraging. “You must be super smart at four!”

The warmth in Mix’s voice is unmistakable, and it’s clear he’s already trying to make Edin feel like part of the classroom family. There’s no pressure, no overwhelming attention—just a sweet, casual introduction, as if they’ve known each other for ages.

“Do you want to come inside and meet some of your new friends?” Mix asks, still keeping his tone gentle. He gestures toward the group of kids already playing, giving Edin space to make the decision for himself. Edin’s eyes flicker to the children in the classroom, and then back to Mix. His shy smile remains, but there’s a flicker of excitement in his eyes now, the fear of something new starting to dissolve.

“O-okay,” Edin says quietly, letting go of Earth’s hand. Without a moment’s hesitation, he reaches out and grabs Mix’s hand instead, his small fingers wrapping around Mix’s much larger ones.

Earth watches this exchange, feeling a quiet sense of relief wash over him. Mix’s approach is exactly what Edin needs—patient, kind, and without any rush. He’s glad that this first interaction is going so smoothly.

Earth stands back as Mix introduces Edin to the classroom, pointing out the toys, books, and colorful posters lining the walls. Edin’s eyes light up as he spots a group of kids playing with blocks, and within minutes, he’s gravitating toward them, curiosity overtaking his initial shyness.

"He’s fitting right in," Mix says, as he goes back, standing, beside Earth with a reassuring smile. "It can be tough starting at a new place, but Edin seems like he’ll do just fine. If you ever have any concerns, feel free to talk to me. I like to keep communication open with the parents, especially when their schedules are busy."

Earth nods, appreciating Mix’s understanding. He hasn’t even mentioned his crazy work hours yet, but somehow Mix seems to sense it. Maybe it’s the weariness in Earth’s eyes or the way he’s been glancing at the clock since they arrived.

Either way, the teacher’s reassuring presence is a relief.

"I try to make time," Earth says, feeling the need to explain. "But my job...it’s demanding, and I’m doing this on my own."

Mix nods thoughtfully, his expression one of quiet understanding rather than judgment. "I get it. Being a parent is a full-time job in itself. We’ll make sure Edin has everything he needs here, so you don’t have to worry."

Earth feels a weight lift from his shoulders, if only slightly. He’s not used to people stepping in to help, but there’s something about Mix that makes it feel okay, like maybe, just maybe.

As Earth prepares to leave, he glances back at Edin, who is now fully engrossed in a game of building towers with the other children. It’s a small moment, but it makes Earth’s heart swell with pride and relief.

Maybe this new school will be the fresh start they both need.

On the drive to work, Earth’s thoughts drift between the architectural plans waiting on his desk and the image of Edin settling in so quickly. It’s a bittersweet mix of emotions—pride in how resilient his son is and the lingering guilt that comes with not being able to be there as much as he wants. The life of a single father is far from easy, and Earth has learned to live with the constant push and pull of responsibilities.

As he parks at his office, Earth checks his phone. No messages, no urgent emails for once.

He sighs, taking a moment to breathe before diving into the day’s tasks. But in the back of his mind, he keeps replaying the morning—the teacher's calm smile, Edin’s laughter, and the brief but significant reassurance that, for today at least, things are going to be okay.

And for a man like Earth, who’s spent so much time feeling like he’s barely holding everything together, that small comfort is enough.

The routine continues to replay like clockwork every day. Earth hurries through the mornings, rushing to get both himself and Edin ready for school. Most days, he finds himself juggling the demands of his job as an architect with the responsibilities of being a single father, often leading to moments of chaos. But there are brighter days—those rare mornings when he manages not to burn the eggs and can serve Edin the fluffy, perfectly cooked eggs he loves.

On those mornings, Edin’s face lights up with delight as he digs into his breakfast. “These are the best, Daddy!” he exclaims, his eyes sparkling with joy. Earth can’t help but smile, relishing the small victories that come with parenting.

The coffee routine remains a challenge, though. Most days, Earth forgets to add sugar, taking a quick sip of the bitter brew before shaking his head, a resigned smile playing on his lips. Somehow, he has grown accustomed to the sharp taste, and it no longer bothers him as much as it once did

It has become a part of his morning ritual—a reminder that he’s busy, that life is hectic, but it’s also filled with moments worth savoring.

Edin, on the other hand, can’t stop talking about his new school and his teacher, Mix, with infectious excitement. Every day, he shares snippets of his adventures in class, the games he plays, and the new friends he makes. “We painted today, Daddy! And I made a big blue monster!” he tells Earth, his hands animatedly illustrating his story.

Earth loves hearing Edin’s stories, and it fills him with a sense of pride to see his son so happy and engaged. He feels a sense of relief that Edin has adjusted so well to his new environment.

However, there are days when Edin’s eagerness to go to school is overwhelming.

One particular morning, Earth finds himself jolted awake by Edin’s enthusiastic voice.

“Daddy! Daddy! Wake up! It’s school day! Let’s go!” Edin yells, bouncing on the edge of the bed, the clock reading 5:30 AM—an hour and a half earlier than their usual wake-up time.

Earth blinks, disoriented, groggy from sleep, and glances at the clock, his heart racing as he realizes it’s far too early. “Edin, buddy, it’s still early. School doesn’t start until 8:00 AM,” he murmurs, rubbing his eyes.

“But I want to see Teacher Mix!” Edin replies, his excitement unwavering. “And my friends! Can we go now?”

Earth can’t help but chuckle at his son’s enthusiasm, even as he fights against the remnants of sleep. “Alright, alright, we can get ready early,” he concedes, rolling out of bed and pulling on his robe.

“Yay!” Edin squeals, jumping off the bed and racing around the room, clearly eager to get the day started. "I love you!"

Earth chuckles affectionately, as he replies, "I love you, too."

As they go through the motions of getting ready, Earth can’t help but feel a warmth spread in his chest.

Moments like this—Edin’s uncontainable joy, the little victories in the kitchen, the way he eagerly shares his day—reminds Earth why he embraces this hectic life. It’s chaotic and sometimes overwhelming, but it’s also filled with precious moments that make every early morning worth it.

:hi! it may be too early but i want to thank you--whoever is reading this--for giving this story some of your time. i really appreciate it and i hope to see you til the end of down bad 🖤