Chasing Red: Chapter 35

I wish there was a way to turn off everything I felt. Feeling pain all the time was exhausting. I was almost blind from it as I walked away from Caleb. I wasn’t even sure where I was going as I pushed open doors and stepped outside the school building. I just needed to get away.

“Wait up, Angel Face.”

Damon. I had almost forgotten that he was with me.

“I’m sorry.” I stopped. A wave of dizziness hit me, and I would have fallen if Damon hadn’t caught me.

“Whoa. You need to sit down.”

I shook my head. “I’m fine.”

“Sit.”

His voice brooked no argument. My knees were weak, so he easily led me to a bench near the parking lot.

“You don’t have to stay with me, Damon. Please, go.”

He let out a loud sigh, sat beside me, and stretched his long legs out in front of him. “Your boyfriend can fight, I’ll give him that.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” But I said it too quickly.

“Really?” His voice was light, almost teasing. “So was the blond his girlfriend, then?”

I gritted my teeth.

“Ah. Listen, I like you. You’re tough, but Lockhart? He wants to kill me.” Damon grinned like he enjoyed the thought, and then winced in pain. He cupped his jaw and moved it from side to side again. “Because I touched what’s his.”

I looked down at my hands, noticed they were shaking. I gripped them together.

“A guy like Lockhart won’t fight for a girl if she doesn’t mean anything to him,” he said.

My chest felt tight.

“That guy is crazy for you.”

I closed my eyes.

“I don’t know what happened, but I’ve got eyes,” Damon continued. “I saw you going to him, but you stopped when the blond reached him first.”

“She…told me that Caleb… That they slept together.”

“Did they?” he asked after a moment.

“Yes. No. I don’t know.”

He nodded. “I see.”

“I have to go.”

I stood up. He grabbed my hand quickly, pulling me down to sit with him again.

“There’s no hurry. We have all day.” He grinned, the picture of a happy-go-lucky guy. He placed his palms on either side of him and leaned back, looking up at the sky.

“Your lip is bleeding,” I said.

He snorted. “So is his. I was going for his nose, but I didn’t think you’d appreciate that.” He winked. “Answer this for me: Did you get two sides of the story?”

I didn’t answer.

“What did he say?” he prompted.

Damon was relentless. When I didn’t answer, he let out another loud breath.

“When you have these strong emotions for someone,” he said, his voice turning serious, “they tend to take over everything. If they’re too strong, they could destroy you, eat you up.”

He toyed with the ring on his thumb, a faraway look in his eyes, as if he was replaying a memory in his mind.

Damon was a stranger, but he had an air of openness and honesty that made me want to tell him everything.

“He said he didn’t cheat, but he could be lying,” I told him.

He nodded. “That’s true. He’s a liar, isn’t he? He’s a guy after all.” He shrugged one shoulder. “Girls tend to believe other girls over us. She might be lying, but then again, she might be telling the truth. Do you think so?”

No…I don’t think she was telling the truth.

When I found Caleb waiting outside the washroom, I’d assumed that he had asked Beatrice-Rose to talk to me because I didn’t give him a chance to explain. And because…maybe he couldn’t tell me what she had just said. That they slept together. But what if she was lying? Didn’t I figure out that she was manipulative?

What if…

“Seems to me Lockhart doesn’t even want her near him. Look.” Damon motioned toward the parking lot.

I saw Caleb get in his car, leaving Beatrice-Rose behind. The squeal of tires echoed across the parking lot as Caleb drove away.

I don’t know what came over me, but my chest felt tight and adrenaline coursed through my veins. I wanted Caleb.

I wanted him back.

I jumped up from my seat, and the next thing I knew, I was chasing after him.

“Caleb!” I yelled, running as fast as I could to catch him.

I want more. I want all of you, he had said, and I had turned him away.

I needed to talk to him. I needed him…

Don’t go. I’m sorry! God, I’m so sorry, Caleb…

I ran. Ran as fast as I could to catch him, but he was driving away fast.

Am I not even worth a fight? Red?

His car sped up, turned a corner, and then—

He was gone.

I wanted you to fight for me, just as I fought for you. But you wouldn’t.

I stood there, staring after him, tears pouring down my face.

I wanted him back, but I had hurt him so much, pushed him away so hard. I had let my past hurts take over me, destroy me. Had I pushed him so hard that he didn’t want me back?

Oh my God. Am I too late?