Chapter 29

I forgot what a hassle the Spring Gala is every year. Friday morning I wake up late and have to scramble out of the apartment. From then it’s like the day is on fast-forward.

Spill coffee on myself sprinting to class. Didn’t bring the right notebook. Pop quiz. Haul ass to another class. Vending machine eats my dollar. Starving. Rush to Kappa to meet Sasha. Run to salon; they’re an hour behind. Get lunch while we wait. Get our hair done. Back to the Kappa house. She does my makeup while I do her nails. She does her makeup while I steam our dresses. And finally—collapse on the floor until Abigail starts stomping through the house shouting that the setup crew needs help at the venue.

Now Sasha and I are in the banquet hall hooking up the rented sound system with her laptop. Our heads are dropping bobby pins while we crawl around on the floor in our sweats before we have to run back to Kappa house to take a baby wipe shower and get our dresses.

“Don’t we have pledges for this or something?” Sasha gripes while we haul another massive speaker inside from the loading dock because the dolly has a flat tire.

“I think the freshmen are in the kitchen folding napkins.”

“Seriously?” she says. We drop the speaker in place and take a moment to catch our breath. “Shit, I’ll go sit on my ass and fold fucking origami. Get that lacrosse chick out here to throw a couple of these on her back.”

“I think you told Charlotte you didn’t want any plebes getting their grubby hands on your gear.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t mean the heavy shit.”

I grin. “Come on. One more. Then I’ll run the rest of the cables while you do a sound check.”

Sasha takes a deep breath and blots the sweat from her hairline with her sweater. “You’re a good friend, Marsh.”

While we’re carrying the speaker in, a familiar face appears in our path. It’s Eric, the basketball boy from Malone’s, carrying six large boxes of donuts. We set the speaker in place and meet him at Sasha’s DJ booth with feral hungry eyes.

“Help yourselves,” he says easily.

“Oh my God, you’re the best.” Sasha shoves a donut in her mouth and takes two more. “Thank you,” she mumbles with her mouth full.

Like a swarm of locusts, the other sisters descend on the donuts. Everyone’s been surviving on green juice and carrots for a week or more so they could fit into their one-size-too-small dresses tonight.

“I have to run into the city to pick up my tux,” Eric tells Sasha while she’s licking icing off her fingers. “Just thought you girls might need a sugar boost.”

“Thank you. We really appreciate it.”

“For real,” I agree.

Just as quickly as they arrived, the girls pick the boxes clean. There’s not a sprinkle or dab of jelly filling left as they scurry away to their tasks.

I glance around the massive room in approval. Huh. This place is starting to look halfway presentable. Tables arranged. Banners and decorations hung. We might actually pull this off.

“Meet you back here at eight?” Sasha says to Eric.

“Yes ma’am. See ya then.” He gives her a kiss on the cheek and waves bye to me as he leaves.

My head swivels toward her. “Um. I didn’t know he was your date,” I accuse.

She shrugs. “I was gonna go stag again, but this way I have someone to get me drinks while I DJ.”

We cram the empty donut boxes in a trashcan, then head off in search of the alleged cooler where supposedly there’s bottled water for everyone. We try the kitchen first, where eight freshmen sit in the dark amongst piles of white cloth napkins, hunched and weary. It’s like a fucking sweatshop in here and we back away quietly. Freshmen are scary.

“What about Conor?” she asks as we walk down another corridor.

What about Conor… It seems like since I met him, that question has consumed a little more of my life every day. The two of us have been caught in a constant evolving state of uncertainty.

“I don’t know,” I reply honestly. “He’s canceled our plans for the last two days.”

A frown mars her perfect lips. “Have you talked at all?”

“A little. Text messages mostly, and he doesn’t say much. Just that he’s busy, dealing with something, yada yada. And of course, he’s always sorry.”

“He wouldn’t just…not show up tonight, right?” Sasha watches me closely, as if monitoring for some sign or signal that I might snap into a rage or have a total nervous breakdown.

“No way,” I say firmly. “He’d never do that.”

“Hey, Taylor.” Olivia comes around the corner from the loading dock. “You left this outside. It was buzzing.”

I take my phone from her, and relief slams into me when I notice a missed call from Conor. Finally. I need to know if he’s picking me up or meeting me here.

“Speak of the devil,” Sasha says.

I’m about to call him back when a text comes through.

CONOR: I’m not gonna make it tonight

I stare at the screen. Then I type a response with shaky thumbs.

ME: That’s not funny.

HIM: I’m sorry

“What’s wrong?”

I try calling him.

Straight to voicemail.

“He didn’t,” Sasha says, her voice grim as she reads my expression.

I ignore her. Call him again.

Straight to voicemail.

ME: Talk to me

ME: What the hell is going on?

ME: Fuck you Conor

I wind my arm back to hurl my phone across the room, but Sasha catches my wrist before I can let go. She grabs the phone out of my hand and fixes me with a stern look.

“Let’s not make any rash decisions,” she advises, before pulling me into the restroom across the hall. “Talk to me. What did he say?”

“He’s not coming. No explanation. Just, sorry, bailing on you again,” I say, seething, gripping the edge of the sink to stop from putting my fist through the mirror. “I mean, what in the actual fuck? He didn’t just decide this today, he couldn’t have. He’s been blowing me off all week. Which means he knew he wasn’t coming. He could have just told me! Instead he waits until the last second to really drive the knife in.”

I let out a scream and punch the stall door instead. Not quite as satisfying when the door just flies open from the force. It still hurts, but at least I didn’t shred my knuckles.

“Okay, She-Ra, settle down.” Sasha corrals me in a corner with her hands up, as if she’s settling a cranky rhino. “You really think he’s doing this to hurt you?”

I push away from her. I can’t stand still. “What other explanation is there? This is probably all part of some long con he was running on me. Maybe I was the dare all along. Some bet with his teammates. Now the game’s over and they’re all laughing at me. Poor pathetic fat girl.”

“Hey.” Sasha snaps in front of my face to stop my furious pacing. “Shut the fuck up. You are not pathetic and there’s nothing wrong with the way you look or the shape of your body. You’re beautiful, funny, kind, and intelligent. If Conor Edwards has some fucking malfunction, it isn’t your fault. It’s his loss.”

I can’t hear her. Not really. There’s a white-hot ball of rage in my gut and it’s building with every second that I don’t have an answer.

“I need to borrow your car,” I burst out, holding out my hand.

“I don’t think you’re in any condition to drive right now—”

“Keys. Please.”

Sasha sighs and passes the keys over.

“Thank you.” I dart out the bathroom door like my ass is on fire, with Sasha hot on my feels.

“Taylor, wait,” she calls after me in exasperation.

Rather than wait, I tear down the hall toward the lobby. My pace is so fast that when I skid around the corner, I slam into one of my sorority sisters. Half a dozen or so Kappas are milling in the lobby, along with a couple of Sigma guys lugging chairs.

The brunette I just bulldozed stumbles forward. With her long hair falling over her eyes, it takes a second for me to realize it’s Rebecca.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” I tell her. “I didn’t see you there.”

Regaining her balance, she instantly casts her eyes downward at the sound of my voice. I’m already testy thanks to my anger over Conor, that Rebecca’s mopey scowl triggers another rush of ire.

“For fuck’s sake,” I snap at her. “We made out freshman year and you felt up my boobs, Rebecca. Get over it.”

“Meow,” cackles Jules, who’s standing a few feet away and overheard me.

At her, I snap, “Shut up, Jules,” and then brush past her and Abigail’s douchey Sigma boyfriend, leaving their wide eyes in my wake.

Sasha catches up to me just as I’m throwing open one of the double doors at the entrance.

“Taylor,” she orders. “Stop.”

I force myself to stop. “What is it?” I ask.

Worry playing on her face, she touches my arm and gives it a soft squeeze. “No guy is worth losing your self-respect over, okay? Just remember that. And wear a seatbelt.”