Chapter 16 - Sam (Part 1)

Sam happily hurried off to the infirmary every morning after dropping Mik off at the fitness center.

For weeks, he’d been working his ass off, eager to finish his training and be the pack’s only male nurse. He poured over his books, scribbled down his notes, and crammed for exams like he’d never crammed before.

He always hated schoolwork. Even when he was home-schooled after being taken out of his parents’ care, he didn’t care about his studies. He missed Andrew terribly. He felt lost. He held no purpose and didn’t know what to do with his life.

Now, his life held purpose. His life had meaning. He was enthralled with Mik’s support of his studies and pursuits.

It was the little things that gave him hope. Mik preparing the meals for them. Hunting in the afternoons together. Mik bringing him food and drink, and bones to chew on while he crammed for exams. Mik maintaining a schedule for breaks so Sam didn’t burn out. Mik putting a blanket over him when he fell asleep while studying. Washing dishes together. Doing laundry together. Building campfires on the weekends and sitting together and drinking sweet tea as they watched the sun set.

They would take longer than other mates, but Sam was hopeful. Even as the days shortened and the leaves started to change colors, Sam held onto the dream that Mik would one day embrace him and apologize for not accepting him before; that he loved him now and would do anything for him.

He longed for the day Mik would kiss him again. Touch him in an intimate way. The very idea of making love made Sam blush so hard, he had to push it from his mind and focus on his studies. He couldn’t think about it yet. It was too soon. It would only eat up his concentration and he’d fail his weekly exams.

He wanted to make Mik proud. That he wasn’t some worthless runt rejected by his mother at the border of a pack she didn’t belong to. That he could be great and valuable as a mate and a member of the pack that took him in instead of letting him die alone in the bosom of the earth. That his Klinefelter Syndrome wasn’t a defect but a surprising twist in Her plan for him.

He needed to tell Mik about his chromosomal abnormality. How he could have been a female if the Goddess hadn’t given him an extra chromosome that made him male with some female impulses and attributes. But he needed to tell Mik when the time was right. Right now, it could set him off and Sam feared it would turn Mik away. That it would disgust him instead of offering more clarity as to who Sam was and why he was that way.

Mik still wasn’t ready, but Sam hoped he would come around soon. He wanted to be open and honest with his mate about everything, including something genetic that he couldn’t change.

After four weeks of Mik going to the gym and Sam going to the infirmary for one-on-one instruction and hands-on learning, Alpha pulled him aside at the end of his lesson to have a word with him.

“How are you doing?” Alpha asked.

Sam puffed his chest with pride. “Great! I love what I’m learning and can’t wait to finish my studies and start training full-time. Heather is having triplets in a few months and I’ll get to be there for it!”

Alpha’s smile was one of pride and joy, but Sam felt there was something else behind it as his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down in his throat. “I’m very pleased to hear that your training is going so well. I know how hard things have been for you and the fact that you’ve found something that you enjoy and motivates you is exactly what you needed. You deserve to have everything you achieve, Sam.”

Flushed with warmth at Alpha’s praise, Sam bowed his head, smiling broadly. “Thank you, Alpha.”

“How are things with your mate?”

The question brought more heat to Sam’s face and he rubbed the back of his neck, his heart fluttering at the mention of Mik. “Good, I think. We’re going slow. He’s very supportive of my studies and…” he nibbled on his bottom lip, “he’s turning into a really good cook. I thought I’d be the one cooking meals for us, but he’s definitely picking it up better than me. He… He seems to like it. And he likes trying new recipes too.”

He knew exactly what he wanted to give Mik for his birthday in a few months—a couple of cookbooks, some new exotic spices, and an apron that wouldn’t embarrass his masculine nature.

Alpha looked a little surprised by this news as well. “I didn’t peg him to be a chef… but some of the best chefs around the world are males. Nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Oh, I’m definitely not ashamed! And I don’t think he is either. I should start working out more because I’m pretty sure I’m gaining weight now.”

Alpha’s eyes softened. “You know what they say, Sam? The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

Sam snickered. “Yeah, I guess so. There’s something different about food prepared by… um… someone you care about.”

His blush deepened. He almost said the four-letter word and it startled him a little, making his heart dance. He knew Mik didn’t love him yet, but he still held onto hope that he would someday. Sam couldn’t help but fall in love with him over these past few weeks. Mik was much more attentive, much nicer, and in his own way, seemed to care. Whether he was aware of it or not, Mik was showing a caring gentleness Sam didn’t know he was capable of.

Surely, in time, Mik’s feelings would grow and mature toward him?

“The same is true for the cook,” Alpha said. “Sharing something you created and enjoying it together. It’s a good sign.”

“Yeah.” Sam twisted his fingers together. “I kinda told him several weeks ago, when he was still in casts, that he either ate with me or he wouldn’t eat at all.”

“But he’s better now, and still, you’re preparing meals together and eating together. He could go out and eat and bring nothing back for you, but he hasn’t.”

“He’s supporting me in my studies.”

Alpha shook his head lightly. “I’m just saying, if he didn’t care, he wouldn’t do these things for you and with you. It’s good that he is, but I hope it’s for your sake that he does them and not for his own sake.”

Sam’s heart fell a little. “What do you mean?”

Alpha’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down again as the creases in his forehead deepened. A subtle shift in his scent gripped Sam’s stomach into knots.

“I am still wary of him, Sam. I need to discuss with him where he stands in this pack. He’s still an outsider and hasn’t pledged loyalty to me and Aki or the pack. I don’t know what his motives are or what’s preventing him from doing so, other than my initial hunch. For your sake, I pray that I am wrong and Mikwam will pledge loyalty to me soon but… until then… I can’t trust him.”

Hanging his head, Sam struggled to swallow the lump building in his throat. “I understand.”

Alpha’s dark brown eyes implored Sam’s when he dared to meet his gaze. Sadness pressed down on his brows. “I don’t want to squash your ambition, Sam, because I am overjoyed by your drive and progress, and I’d hate for you to lose that. I am just warning you to be more observant and careful. Guard your heart. I intend to speak with him soon and press him for the truth. Please, whatever the outcome, take care of yourself. Cameron, Aki and I will always be there for you if you need us. And if my hunch is wrong and he pledges loyalty to you, me, and the pack, then we can all celebrate together and rest a little easier.”

Sam nodded, bending his neck. “Thank you, Alpha.”

Alpha pulled him into a hug, dropping his status and lowering it to Sam’s level. Sam slipped his arms around his alpha, his friend, and held him back.

“I love you, Sam. No matter what happens, Aki and I will always love you.”

“I know,” Sam whispered back. “I love you too.”

They had been better parents than his own. If they told him to do something, he’d do it. If they advised him against something, he’d listen. They had only shown him love and support over the years. Had taken him in when all hope was lost. What more could he ask for?

Alpha pulled back and cleared his throat. “Now go. Your mate must be waiting for you.”

Sam left, a bittersweet ache gripping his heart. He knew he had to talk to Mik about their relationship and his pledge. He knew their relationship was still on shaky ground, but it was improving.

He headed over to the next building and saw Mik waiting for him outside on a bench, freshly showered and his wet hair slicked back in a ponytail. Mik always showered at the workout center after he was done exercising. No trace of sweat ever graced Sam’s nose. It was a considerate thing to do.

Sam couldn’t help but smile at the sight of him. Mik looked sexy while casually sitting and waiting for him.

He nodded in acknowledgment as Sam approached and rose to his feet. He reached out to carry Sam’s textbooks for him. “Good day?”

“Yeah,” Sam blushed in embarrassment. “Sorry to keep you waiting. Alpha wanted to speak with me. He was asking about your Loyalty Pledge. Have you thought about it? Are you ready?”

Mik stiffened. “Hm. Yeah, I guess I should give that more thought.”

Sam brightened. That was a positive response, even if he did stiffen. He didn’t grumble or growl. There was a thoughtful, contemplative tone in his voice. Such a nice change. He was always more relaxed after a good workout session.

“No rush. It is important that you mean it when you do it. It’s a lifelong pledge, not something you make on a whim and can back-out of when you feel like it.”

Sam knew that Mik already knew that, so he dropped the subject and they went about their usual routine. Sam could feel his desire for Mik increasing every day. The desire to touch him, to kiss him, to hold him close and feel his heart beating against his. He held himself back, waiting for Mik to make the first move when he was ready.