Chapter 26 - Sam (Part 1)

A biting cold wind whipped against the cabin as Dr. Waaban left to return to the pack house. It whistled through the barren trees, their long spindly branches swaying and tapping against the walls and windows.

With the brace off his neck, Sam was advised to take it easy for the next week—as if he had much choice in that matter. He still couldn’t do anything for himself. At least he could turn his head now and form a fist that he wanted to smash into Mik’s disgustingly attractive face.

He hated the way the matebond pushed him toward Mik. It wasn’t enough to keep Mik faithful and Sam still couldn’t turn off his attraction to Mik’s body and scent.

Mik put a few pieces of cedar in the wood-burning stove—the only source of heat for the cabin in preparation for the incoming snowstorm.

“Looks like we’ll be cleaning out the leftovers in the fridge today,” he said as he poked the fire to get it nice and hot.

Sam grunted.

Satisfied with the fire he had created, Mik closed the door to the oven and turned to Sam sitting in his wheelchair. “How’s your leg? Does it hurt after the needle?”

“A little,” Sam mumbled.

“How about a break for a few hours from the exercises?”

“Okay.”

“I’m going to take a nap. Would you prefer to sit in the wheelchair or relax on the bed?”

“I wouldn’t mind a nap too...” Sam mumbled.

Mik wheeled him to the bed and helped him into it, tucking him in before disappearing in the bathroom for a minute. He then laid down on the couch—his bed—and it wasn’t long before Sam could hear him snoring lightly while he stared up at the ceiling.

He closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep as well, but his mind swirled with memories of Mik. Of how volatile he was when they first met and how he had settled down after.

He didn’t settle down for you, though. He settled down for himself. To be free from bondage. He never wanted you.

Even now, he couldn’t tell if Mik was sincere or merely trying to break free from bondage again. True, he’d taken care of Sam all week, and apparently for many weeks while he was in the infirmary, but did he have much of a choice in that? No. He never did anything for anyone. He only cared about himself. Mik was so selfish, Sam couldn’t tell whether anything he did was for Sam’s benefit or Mik’s. He couldn’t gauge how much of what Mik said was true and heartfelt or a lie, something that would get him what he wanted.

While Sam understood Dr. Waaban’s comment about how it would have been easier on Mik to leave him alone and allow his body to deteriorate without physical therapy, Sam still didn’t trust Mik’s sincerity.

He’ll leave you for another female as soon as he can.

Even though Mik said he wasn’t physically able to get aroused by females anymore, Sam couldn’t help that thought from constantly plaguing his mind, coupled with the image of Mik sucking the neck of that green-eyed female in the combat training room.

While Sam continued to mull over his thoughts as the wind picked up in strength outside, faint whimpers interrupted the steady stream of snores a few yards away. Looking over, he saw Mik with his brows furrowed, eyes closed, his body twitching every few seconds as another whimper escaped him.

Cameron used to do that. Whimper in his sleep as he dreamed of something. It only lasted for a few minutes and when Sam would later ask him about it, Cameron didn’t remember any dream.

Had he been dreaming about Olivia and didn’t remember because he didn’t remember her?

Wish I woke up with amnesia too, Sam thought with a sigh as Mik’s whimpers grew in intensity.

With a sharp wolf-like cry, Mik’s entire body jerked and he toppled from the couch to the floor with a grunt.

Sam watched with wide eyes as Mik pushed himself up from the floor, panting as if he’d run a marathon. Reaching up, he ran his hand over his head from front to back as he gulped air. After a few seconds, he lifted his head. Brown eyes caught and held Sam’s before heat rushed to Sam’s cheeks and he looked away.

Staring up at the ceiling again, he swallowed as he listened to Mik pull himself up from the floor. He could feel those eyes burning into his already burning cheeks, with one side hotter than the other.

The heat lessened before the couch gave a little groan as Mik put his weight on it. He exhaled loudly a minute later before the heat of his eyes returned to Sam’s cheek. The couch made another noise as Mik rose. The wooden floor creaked as he stepped toward Sam.

Sam closed his eyes, hoping that Mik would take the hint and leave him alone to rest some more.

Instead, Mik slipped under the blanket and curled his body around Sam’s, his nose in the crook of his neck.

Sam instantly stiffened. He felt the muscles of his entire body react as he held his breath. “What are you—”

“I need this,” Mik grunted, inhaling deeply and exhaling out slowly.

His breath against Sam’s neck and shoulder drew the hairs up on his skin and a shudder to shake his body.

They had never been this close before when it didn’t involve helping the other. When Mik wrapped an arm around Sam’s torso and pulled him closer, heaving a shuddering sigh, Sam realized that this was a form of helping—an emotionally supportive form for Mik.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sam hesitated to ask.

Mik shook his head only to change his mind a moment later with the release of another shuddering breath. “I already told you. What more is there to say?”

“I don’t know.”

Mik had already apologized a hundred times. What more was there to say?

There is more, he told himself. You know it.

“Don’t get anxious, Sam,” Mik said as nervousness twisted within him. “I’m not going to do anything. I just need to hold you.”

“It’s... not that,” Sam mumbled. “It’s just... There is more to say.”

Mik’s throat rumbled. “How many times do I—”

“No, no. Not that.” Sam swallowed. “How... How much did you see?”

Another rumble from Mik’s throat that was half a growl and half a whine. “Cameron reached you first. I was several yards back. I saw you standing there, your back to us. I didn’t know it was a cliff. I closed my eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. We found you. You were safe.”

Sam swallowed again as Mik took another slow and steady breath and continued, “Cameron screamed and I opened my eyes and you... you were gone.”

“So, you didn’t see me fall?”

Mik stilled, his scent turning to one of confusion. “Fall? You didn’t...?”

“No. Cameron startled me and I fell. I shouldn’t have been standing so close to the edge but...” he trailed off and heaved a sigh. “I was considering jumping though.”

“It’s still my fault. I pushed you to the edge.”

“Yeah... but I’m the one who stood on the edge. I should have run to Luna. I wasn’t thinking.”

Mik swallowed next to him. “What... were you thinking?”

Sam closed his eyes. The blue sky was before him. The forest, behind him. The waves gently crashed against the rocks below. The breeze whipped around him. Pain struck his heart and he whimpered at the memories. “That I should have seen it coming. That it didn’t matter how hard I tried, I can’t change your nature. That it was wrong for me to try and force you to become someone you’re not. That maybe... in order to break the matebond so you could be free to be who you are...”

Tears prickled his eyes as his voice cracked. He struggled to fill his lungs with air, his chest hurt too much.

Mik pulled away and walked out the front door without another word as tears leaked from the corner of Sam’s eyes.