Chapter 27 - Mik (Part 3)

Mik stared harder at Sam. What was that supposed to mean? Klinefelter Syndrome?

Opening his blotchy red-rimmed eyes, Sam swallowed and studied his reaction before closing his eyes again. Anxiety leaked out of his pores and saturated his scent. “I’m sure you noticed the size of my… um… sex organs… since you change my diapers…”

It was Mik’s turn to swallow now. He’d rather not think about that unpleasant daily routine, but it had to be done since he insisted on taking care of Sam. He couldn’t call someone to come change him every few hours. He did notice that Sam’s assets were really small and chose not to comment on them. “Yeah… I figured they came in all sizes or that you were still growing or something…”

He trailed off, the conversation making his skin crawl as he pulled away from Sam. The air was too heavy with his pungent anxious musk. It made Mik’s stomach roil.

“Well, I’m not.” Sam sighed, looking away with a hint of pink in his cheeks. “A sign of Klinefelter’s is small testes, half the size of normal males, thus making me infertile.”

“Testes?”

Sam shot him an irritated look before his features relaxed. “Seriously? Testes is short for testicles.” Seeing that Mik was still drawing a blank, he added, “Your balls, dude.”

“Oh… I never had a formal education, remember,” Mik grumbled, reaching for the mugs again and offering Sam the straw to sip some tea. When Sam was done, he set it on the table and gulped down some of his own warm tea. “I never bothered to look at other males’ junk anyway. Didn’t interest me. So is that all that Klinefelter’s means? You have small balls and that makes you infertile?”

Sam raked his teeth over his bottom lip. “Not exactly.”

Mik took another gulp of tea and set his mug down. Turning to Sam, but still keeping a few inches of distance between them, he asked, “So what else does it mean?”

“Um…” Sam looked down at his feet at the end of the bed as anxiety began to pour off him again. “Th-The thing is…” He heaved a sigh and closed his eyes. “Shit. How am I going to explain this when you haven’t taken biology?”

“I’m not stupid,” Mik grunted, looking away and folding his arms across his chest as he leaned against the bed’s headboard.

Sam sighed. “I didn’t say you were. Do you know what chromosomes are?”

Mik growled softly: he hated feeling stupid. “No.”

“How about DNA? Know anything about that?”

“A little. It’s the building blocks of our bodies, right?”

“Yes, that’s right.” Sam’s anxiety was lifting as he delved into his explanation—taking his attention off himself and onto explaining something he understood. “Chromosomes are part of our DNA. Our biological sex is determined by a pair of chromosomes. Everyone inherits one from their mother and one from their father. They are labeled as X and Y. Everyone has an X-chromosome from their mother and they get either an X or a Y-chromosome from their father. Females have two X-chromosomes and males have an XY pairing. Do you understand so far?”

“Yeah.”

“Klinefelter Syndrome is different.” Sam raked his teeth over his bottom lip. “It’s a chromosomal mutation. Instead of having two, we have three chromosomes.”

Confusion wrapped around Mik as he tilted his head and furrowed his brows. “So… What does that mean?”

Sam heaved a sigh. “It means I have an extra X-chromosome. XXY. X is the female chromosome. The extra one conflicts with the male, Y, one. I’m not fully female, but not fully male either. I’m… in-between.”

Closing his eyes, Sam hung his head as his words clicked together in Mik’s head.

“In…between…” Mik murmured, remembering the first time he got a really good look at Sam’s physique after rescuing him from the bottom of the cliff. How different he looked from normal males with his long, lean frame, shorter torso, and slightly wider hips.

“In…between…” he repeated, remembering the time Sam ran out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his chest like a female.

Mik sat up straight, his eyes widening as everything clicked together. Sam’s feminine facial features. His sweet, caring, and nurturing nature. His scent, not quite male, but sweetened a little like a female’s when he blushed or grew aroused.

He turned to Sam. Sadness pulled down on Sam’s face, his head and shoulders bowed as if under a great weight. Salty tears rimmed his closed eyes lined in long black lashes. Mik’s eyes traveled down the length of Sam’s body. The blanket tucked around him, under his armpits and over his chest. His long thin arms resting limply at his sides over the blanket.

Shifting onto his knees, he hovered over Sam’s body and pulled the blanket down to his hips. His fingers quivered, holding his breath, as he hastily unbuttoned Sam’s flannel pajama shirt.

Sam’s muscles stiffened under him. “What are you doing?”

“I need to see,” Mik grunted.

“No, no, no! Stop!” Sam protested but Mik was already past the halfway point with the buttons and continued until every one was free.

Pulling back the two sides of the shirt, Mik released the air caught in his chest as his eyes took in Sam’s torso. His breath blew over the exposed flesh, causing a shiver to quake over the younger male. Sam whimpered as Mik looked upon him with new sight. He’d seen Sam naked numerous times now, changing his diapers and bathing him, but this time—this time—everything made sense.

“It all makes sense,” he uttered in a breathy whisper. He reached out with tentative fingers and brushed them down the center of Sam’s chest. “The lack of body hair… facial hair… the shape of your body… hips… even here…” he brushed his fingers under the small layer of fatty tissue that bulged his nipples. “It all makes sense now.”

Sam shivered under his touch. “It’s the estrogen hormone that the X-chromosome produces. Every male has a little bit of it in them since they have one, but the Y-chromosome produces greater amounts of testosterone that males thrive under. But for me…” Sam swallowed and released a shaky breath. Warmth flooded his cheeks. “I’m unbalanced. The extra X-chromosome produces more estrogen than I need thus the… female… features. I need testosterone injections to help me feel normal.”

“Is that what Dr. Waaban gave you earlier?” Mik asked, tearing his eyes away from the expanse of flawless flesh to meet Sam’s bloodshot ones. Sam looked away, his cheeks rosy and wet. A myriad of emotions swirled around him. Fear, anxiety, confusion, and others that Mik couldn’t decipher.

“Yeah,” Sam croaked out before clearing the frog from his throat. “I hate that I need them but they do help me feel better. My mind becomes clearer and my thoughts sharper. I get so emotional and moody without them. Sometimes it feels like I have no energy to get out of bed and it won’t be because I’m depressed, even though that has happened in the past… I just…”

He trailed off, tears building up again and falling as he squeezed his eyes shut.

Mik snatched a tissue from the bedside table and leaned over to wipe Sam’s cheeks. “Stop it. Whatever you’re thinking, stop it.”

“All my life, I just wanted to be normal. To feel normal,” Sam sniffled. “Maybe my family would have loved me more if—”

“Sam,” Mik growled.

“—if I wasn’t so defective.”

The venom in that word Sam spat struck Mik in the heart. Grabbing Sam’s chin again, Mik pressed his thumb to Sam’s lips and growled, “Stop it. I don’t ever want to hear that from you again.”

“Why do you care?” Sam challenged when Mik released him. “Why do you care all of a sudden, huh? Is it because I finally told you the truth? That your mate is so fucked up he—”

Mik seized Sam’s lips with his own. Silencing him mid-rant as a growl rumbled in his throat. Fireworks exploded as he released Sam’s chin and gripped him at the base of his skull. His other hand reached out to steady himself over Sam, gripping the headboard firmly as his nails extended, biting into the polished wood.

Mik pulled away when salt struck his nose. Hovering a few inches away, panting, his heart pounding in his chest, he watched the stray tear drip down Sam’s cheek. Those bloodshot blue eyes over red-blotchy cheeks were hooded and dilated before disbelief replaced the instantaneous lust.

Reaching for his chin again, Mik growled, “You’re mine, Sam. And I won’t tolerate thoughts like that from you.”

“Why do you care now?” he repeated in a whisper, his eyes searching Mik’s.

Memories of Sam flashed through his mind. Sam’s smile of gratitude over a bone to chew on. His blushing shy smile when Mik approved the idea of Sam becoming a nurse. His laughter as he smashed an ice cream cone in Mik’s face. His sleepy smile as Mik read to him after a full day of studying. A hundred smiles he flashed in the past that he hadn’t seen in months and yearned more than ever to see again.

“I told you,” Mik said, wiping Sam’s cheeks dry with a tissue before holding his gaze with his own. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I almost lost you. You’re the only one who truly cared about me and took care of me when I couldn’t. Who put up with me at my worst—and still had faith in us. Every time I dream, I see you jumping. Every time I close my eyes, I am reminded of how close I came to losing you. I know you’re the same but you see me with that female. I don’t want to be ruled by those dreams and thoughts anymore. I want to make new memories with you when I close my eyes. I want to dream new dreams with you at night. I want to see you smile and laugh again. I want to go out hunting with you again. I want to—” Mik pointed to the nearest window to the blizzard outside, “—play in the fucking snow with you and build snowmen and shit.”

Fresh tears were spilling from Sam’s eyes and Mik gently brushed them away, reaching for more tissues when the previous one was drenched.

“Y-You don’t care—” Sam hiccuped, “—th-that I’m m-male with an ex-extra—”

“No, I don’t care about that.” Mik put his hand on Sam’s bare chest, over his heart. Sparks zinged underneath that made both of them shiver. He felt the strength of it kick up in pace as Sam’s lungs heaved with strain. “I want this. This strong heart. The strongest and bravest I’ve met.”

Lifting Sam’s hand, he pressed it to his own heart, holding those robin egg blues with his own. “I mean it, Sam. I am just as broken as you and I’ve made some shitty mistakes, but this right here,” he patted Sam’s hand over his heart, “is dying for another chance. I know I don’t deserve one. And I know it won’t be easy, but you have my word that this heart beats only for you.”

Closing his eyes, Sam took a shuddering breath, fighting more tears that threatened to fall. “I just… I’m scared.”

“I know. I am too.” Mik leaned down and cradled Sam’s face in the palms of his hands. He closed his eyes and inhaled Sam’s tainted and mixed up scent, their foreheads almost touching. “This is another first for me. Holding someone like this. It feels nice.”

“Really?” Sam sniffled as Mik drew away. His eyes stared at Sam’s lips, stained red from the salt of Sam’s tears.

He brushed his thumb over the bottom lip. “Yeah, but this feels better.”

Desire rushed over him, but it was different from the lust he experienced before with all those females—even Jez. He pressed his lips gently to Sam’s. Closed his eyes and allowed himself to drown in the moment. Savoring the texture and sensation. Taking his time to memorize the curvature before licking the bottom lip with his tongue, seeking entrance. Sam caved with a moan and they both gasped with the parting. The desire and essence of each other spilling over them and forcing Mik to pull away to gulp air into his lungs.

Sam’s hot breath panted against Mik’s lips and he ached to kiss Sam harder but knew he had to take it slow.

Opening his eyes, he was greeted with Sam’s heavy-lidded and dilated blues.

Fuck. He was hard and Sam had never looked so good and smelled so sweet.

When did he stop caring about Sam’s sex? Did it matter? He was kissing him with a need and desire he had never felt before and wanted more. He was aching for something more, a connection he’d never felt with anyone.

Sliding Sam on his back under the covers, he slipped in next to him. Draping his leg over Sam’s and leaning over him, he supported himself with a propped elbow and stroked Sam’s soft cheek with his other hand while gazing into his eyes.

“Can we try again?”

A blush flourished on Sam’s cheeks. “Yeah.”

Reminding himself to go slow, Mik leaned down and embraced his lips with a kiss.