Chapter 31 - Mik (Part 1)

After calming down and having lunch, Mik was able to relax a little when he saw everyone engaged in conversation or playing games. He was invited to join a game and declined. Except when Sam said he wanted to play. Then an urge within him took over and he wouldn’t let anyone touch Sam or help him to participate.

That male did it on purpose—he knew. He didn’t miss the smirks Sam exchanged with others. He wasn’t good at hiding his feelings and intentions.

About half an hour after cake, presents were brought to him to open. Sam got him an assortment of spices and an apron—courtesy of Luna Aki picking them up for him. Eloise and her mate gave him a couple of cookbooks—one for meat dishes and one for desserts. Cameron and his family gave him a beard trimmer, clippers, and care kit to keep his beard clean and healthy.

“If you decide to grow it out again,” Cameron told him, his eyes trailing along the thickening beard on Mik’s jaw and chin.

Alpha, Luna, and their pup gave him his own personal set of dumbbell weights—ten, twenty-five, and fifty pounds.

Oshki and his mate gave him some fancy cooking oils—long bottles filled with oil, one with all kinds of chili peppers, another with garlic cloves and rosemary, another with bay leaves.

Dr. Waaban gave him a knife set. Mik would have never thought of that until he felt the blade of one and sliced his thumb open. Never knew he was working with such dull knives until then. Made sense though as everything in the cabin was donated by pack members who no longer needed items or upgraded to better ones.

Now, if only he could get his hands on a new set of pots and pans… Maybe next year.

After presents, the adults started a card game. Sam wanted to play, so Sam sat on Mik’s lap and Mik held his cards and Sam told him what card to play when it was their turn. Mik enjoyed it. He got the hang of it and let Sam call the shots. That way if anyone laughed or got upset, it was directed at Sam, and Mik would silently grin when Sam won a round or made a devil move and pissed someone off.

He enjoyed seeing a more competitive side to Sam, even if it was small. He got more frustrated than Sam once he figured out how the game worked and someone screwed them over.

Everyone was different: more laid-back and at ease with themselves. Even Noodin’s guard was down and he laughed openly. Mik stared at him, at the lines that crinkled around his eyes and the corners of his mouth.

Laughter. He’d only heard Sam laugh a few times before he fucked up. Before Sam, he couldn’t remember hearing a full-bellied laugh that pinched the eyes and threw the head back. Not since Jez and not before.

When the party came to an end and Mik and Sam were preparing to leave with Cameron, everyone bid them farewell, leaving Noodin and Luna Aki to clean up what was left at the lounge. Oshki slipped him a small wrapped object before he and his mate left and whispered into his ear, “Didn’t want you to feel embarrassed about opening this up earlier. Wait until you get home. You’ll need this someday.”

He left it at that with a crooked grin crossing his lips before leaving with his mate.

Mik carried Sam on his back while Cameron took the wheelchair and they went down the stairs to the sled Cameron prepared outside. They secured Sam and all of Mik’s gifts and some containers of food to eat later before shifting into their wolves and jogging back to their cabin and unloading.

“Did you have fun?” Sam asked as Mik helped him into a sitting position on the bed and tucked the blankets around him. Mik still had to find places to store all of his gifts. He had piled them at the door. They could wait until Sam was comfortable.

“It was good,” Mik answered.

“Good.” The corners of Sam’s lips lifted upward before slowly falling. “You had me worried for a bit there. What happened?”

Pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose, Mik closed his eyes and exhaled. No point in holding back. Sam would keep asking. “I just need you, Sam. That’s all.”

“You keep saying that—”

“Because it’s true. I don’t need any superficial shit or fake friends.”

A heaviness hung in the air as Mik dropped his hand, and opened his eyes, avoiding Sam’s gaze.

“Is that what you think?” Disappointment was heavy on Sam’s tongue.

“It’s what I know,” he muttered, rising from the bed.

Walking to the door of the cabin, he found homes for his gifts before picking up the little wrapped object Oshki gave him discreetly. Guessing that it had something to do with sex, he put the wrapped object in one of the cupboards—not willing to think about that with Sam yet.

“You’re not a rogue anymore,” Sam told him in a soft voice.

“Well, I’m not a member of this pack either, am I?” Mik grumbled, closing the door of the cupboard.

“You can be.”

“How can I be when months ago I wanted to slaughter everyone?” Mik gritted his teeth. His nails raked over the surface of the countertop before pausing to grip the edge. “Everyone at that party would have been killed if they didn’t submit to me.”

He heard Sam swallow. “Are you’re going to try challenging Alpha again?”

“No.”

“Are you going to try and hurt anyone?”

“No.”

“Then, what’s the problem?”

Mik whirled around and stomped from the kitchen to Sam’s bedside. “How the fuck am I supposed to look any of them in the eye? Share a meal with them? Accept food and gifts from them? Celebrate the day of my birth when they should all celebrate the day Noodin rips my throat out?”

“They wanted to be there,” Sam said. “They didn’t have to come if they didn’t want to.”

“I don’t believe it.” Mik looked away. “They only came to make you happy.”

“Even if that’s true, is it wrong for them to want to get to know you better?”

“Why the fuck should they care?”

“Why are you making a big deal out of it?”

“Because I don’t deserve any of it!” Mik snapped.

“Everyone deserves a second chance! Goddess knows I’ve given you several!” Sam’s voice grew in intensity. “Why do you have to destroy every nice thing given to you? Why can’t you just be thankful and happy?”

“Because I—” Mik cut himself off, looking away. His fingers curled into fists at his side.

“That’s not an answer!”

Swallowing the bile creeping up his throat, Mik sat down on the edge of Sam’s bed. He held his back straight and rigid as a board with his hands clenched at his sides. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath in and exhaled out. Opening them, he fixated his gaze at the wall across the room. “It’s all I know,” he muttered, the words heavy on his tongue. “Destruction. Chaos. The language of war. Survival of the fittest.” He swallowed again. “Life is cruel and harsh. You have to be tough and can’t rely on anyone for anything—only yourself. Because at the end of the day, you can’t count on any of them. They’ll all turn their backs on you while looking out only for themselves.”

“Look, I’m sorry you struggled at a young age as a rogue, but they’re not like that.”

Mik huffed. His memories in the combat training room filtering into the forefront of his mind.

“They’re good and honest wolves. You can trust them,” Sam insisted.

“I don’t trust wolves that set me up for failure.” Bitter words clung to the tip of his tongue. “I don’t trust wolves who claim to love you—knowing you have a history of suicidal tendencies—and would dare to set me up.”

“Wait… What?” The color slowly began to drain from Sam’s face.

“I fucked up—I’ll admit that. I take ownership of it,” Mik told him. “But Nikki was a baiter. She was used to set me up. Not to engage with me first but instructed to play along. Noodin was in on it and Cameron was in on it. They could have told her to disengage with me, or shut me down, or moved her to another time slot. They could have confronted me and ordered me to stop and threaten to tell you. They didn’t. They knew I would fuck up. They knew you would be devastated. And they still…”

Blood was seeping into the blanket, his nails digging into his palms. He shook his hands out and cursed under his breath as he rose to his feet. He’d better find another blanket for Sam and soak that one now while he still had the chance to get the stain out. He glanced at Sam as he gathered the blanket in his bloody hands to take to the washroom.

“So, no. I don’t need superficial shit and fake friends to celebrate my birthday. I just need you.”