Between Love and Loathing: Chapter 35

The thought of her in the resort he’d worked so hard to build when all she wanted to do was tear it down or be by his side made my stomach churn enough that I rubbed a hand over it.

I was sitting in Dominic’s study, petting Sugar and Spice when I should have been prepping for the night. I told myself everything would be fine even though I didn’t feel it after inviting my mother and sister. The tabloids had been nice already. To them, Dominic and I were meant to be. A match made in heaven. Dominic was calmer, smoother, and more accommodating in interviews about his plans for the HEAT empire. Not only was this resort going to be a success but partnerships after it too.

My thighs instantly clenched, and I knew I had to stop texting him if I was going to be ready in time. Thankfully, my hair naturally held a decent curl, and so I kept it dry as I popped in and out of the shower, and then stared at my gala dress. The last time I’d worn it, she’d been there, seen us, and had tried to make me feel small.

I took a deep breath and pulled the dress on, letting the heavy fabric glide over me as I stared at myself in the mirror. My cheeks were flushed in a healthy way. No flare-up now, my body felt tired but strong, and still my heart raced.

Tonight was going to be a war. I knew it.

I jumped at hearing Dominic’s throat clearing in the doorway of the bathroom.

“What are you doing here?”

“If I didn’t come, Evie and half my family were going to. Something about girls getting ready together, and then Izzy was with her, mumbling that family was family and if I wasn’t going to pick up my future wife—”

“Izzy’s saying that now?” I squeaked. Although Izzy was Dominic’s sister, she felt like an Armanelli to me—dangerous and beautiful all at the same time. She’d married Cade Armanelli, a man that was so volatile people didn’t even glance in his direction. He could end a life with the touch of a button and supposedly had once or twice. The Armanelli name was one people spoke of with respect, but also fear. “She’s here?”

“Along with Cade and my other sister, Lilah. And her husband Dante.”

“Dante Armanelli?” I breathed out. “Just how many of them are showing up?”

“I think Rome and his wife are in Italy, so they won’t be there. But Bastian will be.” He shrugged and I tried not to gasp at the name. Sebastian Armanelli was the leader of the mob, and I knew my stepfather had done business with them, but not like this.

“Are you … close with them?” How did you ask a man if he knew that his brothers-in-law were killers?

“Close enough.” He chuckled as he leaned against the doorframe of the bathroom. “You scared, little fighter?”

I scoffed and turned back to the mirror where I tried to steady my hand to paint on some lip stain.

Dominic came to stand behind me, his hands sliding up my dress and murmured, “This is my territory, cupcake. You know I’ll protect you right?”

I stopped what I was doing to stare in his eyes. “Do I need protection?” I whispered.

He hummed like he wanted to goad me. I knew he did because his length hardened against my back. It was foreplay for us. “Maybe.” He gazed at me, his eyes seeming to pry into my soul. “But not from them.”

Did he know that I needed protection from losing my heart to him instead?

I looked down and grabbed my lash kit. “I’m just going to finish my makeup, then we can go. My mother and sister are here. I invited them to the beach.”

He tsked. “Still being nice to people you shouldn’t be.”

“They’re family, Dominic. Plus, I really didn’t know what else to say. They were here with Mrs. Johnson and asked to come. Maybe they’re genuine in wanting to come support me.”

He nodded once and then twice before he kissed my forehead and murmured, “I like you better when you’re fighting for what you believe in instead of lying through your teeth, Clara. I also like you with freckles rather than makeup, but you’re still stunning.” He stepped to the side and smacked my ass hard before grabbing it and pulling me close. “Especially in this dress.”

“I appreciate you getting it for me.” I held my hands out wide because I was holding a tiny lash and the glue. “I still have to get ready though.”

“Fine, but hurry.” He rearranged his trousers, and I took a second to look at his suit. All-black jacket, vest, and collared shirt. He appeared sleek and refined but so big, and his eyes blazed so green and penetrating that I doubt anyone would be able to look away from him tonight.

“I like your gold accents.” I pointed to his pocket square and then caught a glimpse of his cuff links. “They suit you.”

He hummed but straightened the cuffs of his shirt. “Clara, I don’t want you sweet, okay? I want to hurry to this event, show everyone my girlfriend, get questions out of the way, and then bring her home so she can ride my cock mean and hard into oblivion.”

“Jesus,” I whispered, trying my best now not to get wet from his words.

He murmured, “You opened your bakery, baby. And I want to celebrate with you. Not a bunch of people I don’t give a shit about.”

“Your family is here—”

“Sure, but they’ll be around next week waiting to celebrate with us then. Want to go to a resort with me next week?”

“Wh-what?”

“I’m going to check out a resort up in Big Bear. You’ll come. We’ll celebrate there, okay?” I was so thrown off by his request that I didn’t really answer. “But the longer you take, the longer till we’re back home in this bed.”

My fake boyfriend wasn’t acting fake at all and I needed him to. I didn’t trust that he’d love me enough to stay, or that I was good enough to keep him around. My mother and sister had instilled that in me.

I was just getting my footing here and had to protect my heart, especially considering this was only supposed to be fake.

I should have told him there was no point to us sleeping together anymore, that we should actually be sleeping apart more now since we’d have to go back to getting used to that. I should have told him that grabbing my ass while we weren’t in public was unnecessary too. I tried to remind us both the best I could, “I’ll be ready to be your fake girlfriend in five.”

His jaw ticked. “Well, then. In five minutes, cameras start rolling, huh?”

It wasn’t a question. It was an omen.

The Pacific Coast Resort Gala was like nothing I’d seen before, and I’d been to a few. My stepfather had hosted some, and we’d been invited to others. This one was bigger. We made it just in time to sit front row for more than one performance by some of the biggest singers in the industry.

Beautiful people, beautiful lights, out-of-this-world performances, and then we were directed to the black-and-white carpet—no red because I knew Dominic had made sure of it. He held my hand the whole time, and we smiled for cameras and pulled one another close while his hands drifted where they wanted and my body reacted how it always did.

They asked if I was truly his future wife, and he didn’t bat an eye as he said, “Of course.” Without even a smile on his face, Dominic was still a man of few words, but now, the world swooned over every single one of them.

We filtered into the blocked-off beach area where bouncers in suits let us through but checked most everyone else to confirm they could be at the event. We were greeted with ice sculptures, white and black tables, and tented off areas that still allowed for the beautiful backdrop of the ocean horizon. With the resort jutting out over the ocean and rising up into the sky, it was hard to know which way to even look. Beauty was all around us.

I was introduced to the Armanellis again and then the Stonewood brothers. Each family owned more than half the country, it felt like. With them partnering in the HEAT empire, I knew the Hardys were at their status level. As all the men talked in front of me, I saw why. Their confidence, their appearance, the way they held attention was like a gravitational pull that couldn’t be ignored.

“I’d complain that my husband abandoned me, but he did say he got me the best seats for the performances tonight and he’d helped make those performances happen. So now I don’t really give a shit what he does.” Victory Stonewood was striking in her high heels, light blue dress that fluffed at the waist, and long blonde hair. Her friend and sister-in-law, Aubrey Stonewood, stood next to her, smiling softly, in a demure black gown. She didn’t say much of anything to anyone, but Victory talked enough for them both.

Evie pulled me to her side and whispered, “Victory supposedly let Izzy paint all of Jett Stonewood’s computer monitors on a floor of his building when she was mad at Jett and Cade while working under them.”

I snorted. “Really?”

“Yes.” Izzy appeared behind both of us, and I jumped before turning to see her smiling big in a skintight black dress that matched her black heels. The dress was short enough that most men were glancing at her toned thighs even as Cade came to stand right behind her. “I did paint them because he was a total dick.”

He wrapped his arm around her and set his chin on her head while glancing at Evie and me. The man was drop-dead gorgeous in a dangerous tattooed sort of way. “She’s right. So, I’m not arguing with her about it. How long are you two gracing this party with your company?”

“Oh, I’ll be here all night. I want to make sure my bakery is on everyone’s radar.”

He narrowed his eyes at me, and I felt like my insides were being pried apart. Cade didn’t seem to know social boundaries at all. He didn’t look away, didn’t comment, didn’t even look apologetic as he stared. “You know that fake dating Dominic is helpful, but your bakery would have been on everyone’s radar anyway. You’re talented with your marketing and how you pushed it. And so far, the reviews are not at all negative. The resort is going to prosper.”

“Um …” I almost melted into a puddle at his words, but I didn’t have time to dwell on them as my mother and Anastasia approached.

They congratulated me, gave me a hug, and my mother whispered that she wanted to have lunch the next day. All smiles and no frowns or sneering.

Sometimes, I just wanted to believe. I didn’t want to give into my gut feeling. I wanted to suppress it and hope. The abused get great at that—focusing on the good rather than the bad.

I let Dominic steal me away to my seat as the MC announced that there would be speeches before dinner. We sat at linen tables set up under a tent. The Hardy brothers stole the show, each of them giving a speech thanking my stepfather, Declan thanking his wife, and Dominic taking a bit more time to thank each one of us. He smiled at me, and the few approved cameramen took pictures over and over as he said, “Clara’s been a bit of the yin to my yang. The black to my white, if you will.”

Everyone laughed at that, but my heart beat a mile a minute. This wasn’t planned. He wasn’t supposed to talk about me, yet he thanked me specifically, as if my input truly meant something to him. When his gaze cut to the ocean halfway through, I turned and saw her.

Natya Fitch.

“The white and black, curves and straight lines are the balance in my resort. The spectrum of color represents inclusivity and I wouldn’t have come to the realization that this specific Hardy resort needed that without Clara. I wouldn’t have come to the realization that it needed anything, just like I thought my life didn’t need anything either. She changed that by consistently challenging me, provoking me, and persuading me to take the risk. I’m indebted to her for that, but I get to spend the rest of my life paying her back for it. So, to her and to the rest of the team, we’ve done it. It’s been an honor to work with you all.” With that, he handed the microphone to what appeared to be another shareholder and made his way back to our table.

I didn’t say anything as he sat down next to me. How could I when he’d directed that whole speech at her? Was he putting on a show just for her to believe? If so, that somehow hurt my heart most even knowing that’s what I’d signed up for.

Somewhere along the way, I’d started to believe something different, and now I wasn’t sure if he’d meant any of it. Could it have all been fake?

The question swirled in my mind over and over, turning into a tornado rather than dying out as just a breeze of a thought. I didn’t know if any of it was true or if he’d been flaunting a love he didn’t have for me in order to push hers further away. When I glanced at Dex, his eyes were ping-ponging between us. “Just so we’re clear, the casinos have agreed to the deal in Vegas. The lawyers are drawing it up as we speak. Their team just walked out.”

“I saw them leaving as I was giving my speech,” Dominic said without much emotion. Which was fine since I was feeling all of it for both of us. Playing pretend was something I’d loathed until I’d loved it, and now I was back to loathing feeling a damn thing when I wasn’t sure if he felt for me the way I did for him.

Instead, I focused on the plate of food in front of me as a soft, sultry voice started from the stage.

“What the fuck?” I heard Dex mutter. Then louder, “What the actual fuck?” His eyes were filled with fury as he slammed a hand down on the table and glared at his brothers.

Each of them shook their head until Dex’s eyes skirted from Dimitri to Dominic, who pointed back to Dimitri. “It was mostly his idea,” Dominic said.

Dimitri’s smile grew. “She’s a good singer, bro, and she needed a few gigs. Pretty sure your casino is going to hire her too.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Dex stood abruptly. “You know I hate her.”

But he turned to look at Keelani, his muscles tense, as she stared right back at him. Her voice held edge as she hit a high note, never breaking eye contact. So much emotion was in the song and as she sang, half the audience whispered about her range.

When her song finished, Dex stormed up to the stage as she mumbled she’d be back after a break. He waved her over and she rolled her eyes before sauntering to the edge of the stage where he grabbed her hips and plucked her right off it.

Dimitri chuckled. “He’s going to cave one of these days.”

Dominic cracked his neck and shook his head. “We’re probably playing with fire, Dimitri.”

“Am I?” His brother glanced at me and then to the back of the tent where I knew Natya had been. “Or are you?”

With that, Dimitri got up to leave, and Dominic cleared his throat. “Want to dance, cupcake?”

I took a few breaths, reminding myself that I was here to make an impression. This was the solidifying of our relationship before we separated. The world would know Dominic and I were together, and the resort’s reputation wouldn’t suffer, even if suddenly I didn’t want to pretend anymore.

I didn’t know what I was pretending. Whether I was his girlfriend or whether I enjoyed pretending to be his girlfriend when really my heart was crumbling as I considered the fallout.

I put on the face everyone wanted to see, reminded myself that I’d painted on cat eyes with a little extra concealer, curled my hair again and pinned it up so that only a few soft tendrils fell over my shoulders. I looked the part tonight. I had to act it too. I ran my hand over the necklace that was pure elegance and no cupcakes. Today had been about my bakery, but tonight I’d thrown on Valentino’s just so I could complete the look and then I slipped on the dress Dominic and I had picked out together.

Tonight was about the resort.

I knew the reopening of the resort would be talked about in every magazine, on every news station, and the approved press on the beach were snapping pictures through the night. When Dominic pulled me to the dance floor, the flashing continued. His fingers skirted up my neck before he murmured against my lips, “Did you like my speech?”

“It was a good one for show.” My stomach dipped and twisted as his hands dug into my hips.

“What if it wasn’t for show, little fighter. What if now this is just for me?”

I frowned at him, not understanding. I’d seen how he looked at his ex, how he’d smiled at them all, and then came back with less emotion in his eyes, like he was tired.

His hand dragged across the necklace that wasn’t his. It was simple and elegant and had no personal touch. Perfect for the night. “Why not the cupcake I gave you?”

“I figured this was better for tonight. Tonight’s not about my bakery.”

He hummed and then he flipped it over. The pendant was not something I had really even looked at, but then he whispered out, “Congrats from Valentino?”

“Huh?” I glanced down but couldn’t see it. Its length was much too short, but I felt how his grip tightened on the chain around my neck, saw the fire in his eyes as I glanced up at him.

“A gift from him?” We were still moving together across the dance floor, but the stare between us was so charged, I didn’t know if anyone else was still on the dance floor, in the room, in the whole resort.

All I saw was him. Dominic Hardy, larger than life, so overpowering that I’d forgotten about anything else. I’d lost my concern for lupus, ignored my mother and sister, snuffed out my worry of offending him or anyone else with my opinions, and began to implement what I wanted everywhere. He’d given me the confidence, the fight, the drive to own it.

I stepped with him across that dance floor, meeting his moves match for match, sway for sway, twist and turn for twist and turn. “It’s just a necklace, Dominic.”

“Do you think I want to see another man’s jewelry on you? And soon do you think it will be just a coffee? Just a date? Just a fling?”

I narrowed my eyes as we stopped, his hand low on my back like he was about to dip me. “Are you jealous when you know this is about to end? When you goaded me into doing this for that very reason?”

He didn’t answer me, just bent his knee and dropped me faster than most lead dancers would. I gasped at the feeling of my body falling along with my heart, with all the butterflies, with all the feelings I had for him flying around. No part of me was safe from him anymore, either, because when he yanked me up, his mouth took what he knew was his.

That kiss was searing, possessive, and territorial, and I clung to the lapels of his suit jacket, trying not to be conquered by the man who had knocked down every barrier I’d built. I melted into him without putting up a fight for my heart. It was his already. I wasn’t his little fighter anymore. I was willing instead. “I’ll always be jealous of another man’s jewelry on neck. It’s mine, Clara. We haven’t broken up yet.”

“Dominic—”

“If it’s not gone by the time we’re home tonight, I’m ripping it off you, cupcake. And I’ll deliver it back to him myself.”

The music ended with his words, but we stayed in the middle of the dance floor, staring at one another for far too long. His statement felt like it held weight, like we should talk through it, like maybe we were going to figure it all out, but then the press walked up.

Not just one of them … all of them.

“Natya just gave us the exclusive.”

“You took on building this resort after you lost her.”

“You wanted a baby, right, and couldn’t have one together?”

“Was that why you put your heart and soul into creating this masterpiece?”

The press wasn’t supposed to be this aggressive as they stuck a mic in his face while Natya stood behind them smiling. She crossed her arms and flicked her gaze at me before lifting a brow while the vultures continued.

“Would you consider IVF with your soul mate? Adopting?”

“Natya said a baby with you is all she wants.”

They were just words. Words supposedly couldn’t break you. Sticks and stones, right? Yet, words ate at your heart, they bled-out your soul, sliced at your mentality if you let them. Words.

I think they broke what was left of Dominic and me right there in the cool breeze of that summer night. When he didn’t answer, when his stare turned violent and vicious, the paparazzi knew they’d overstepped. They backed away fast, but Natya didn’t.

She walked right up to him and whispered for only us both to hear, “I can make it seem like we had a miscarriage too. Just because it isn’t true doesn’t mean they won’t believe it.”

Her eyes were wild and full of vengeance and jealousy. She wanted him, and she wanted to prove she could get him by any means necessary. “You loved me, don’t you remember? I ruined you, sure, but I put you back together. Remember that. And then, just because you found out I told you a little lie, you were more than happy to abandon me. I didn’t deserve it. Not when we had everything together. We can try to work this out, or I can tell them just that.”

“Natya—” Dominic warned.

“No. Don’t me. You haven’t answered my calls, Dom. I don’t deserve that. I loved you. And I’ll tell them that over and over again.”

“We’ll talk later. Just handle the press.” Dominic’s jaw ticked. “You know how to do it right, Natya.”

She smiled at him, her hand drifting over his chest before she said, “See? We work as a team. Even if you had to have a little fun with her. And I’m sorry about faking the pregnancy, okay? But don’t make me fake a miscarriage with the press now.” She eyed me warily. “Answer my call later, Dominic, or the press will change its tune.”

It didn’t matter that she promised to help, Dimitri was already escorting paparazzi off the premises. People were already leaving the party.

The night air had shifted. And something in Dominic’s eyes had shifted too. “Let’s walk down the beach. Let the staff take care of the rest of the party.”

My feet were frozen there as I stared at him. “I think I should go home, Dominic. Actually, I should stay here and then …” I could afford an apartment now. I could afford the penthouse for months if I wanted. “Mrs. Johnson delivered an envelope with updates from the will. I’m … I’ll start looking for an apartment.”

He whipped around to glare at me. “You think it’s going to be that easy?”

Leaving him would be the hardest thing I ever had to do. I felt it in every part of me, the physical ache beginning. “No. I think it’s rather difficult, Dominic. I honestly think it will make me physically ill.”

His eyes flared with concern before he swept me up to go down to the ocean with me, away from the lights, away from the resort. He walked with me in his arms for minutes upon minutes.

My fake boyfriend held onto me as if I was real on that beach, and the feelings I had for him felt almost too real to bear.