Chapter 19: Scared

With a yelp, I shoved back from the board, knocking the cup out of the way. It went flying, bouncing off the floor and splitting the crack in its side wide open. The shards scattered everywhere.

A chunk of broken glass skittered across the floor, landing right in front of Luc. He stared down at it for a moment—blinking at it like it was completely foreign to him—before his eyes climbed back to meet mine. His expression was strange—because there was no expression. His features were slack, blank. Only his eyes showed life; wide and wild, they almost glowed in the dying light of the day.

"What the hell are you doing?" he said again, his lips barely moving, his voice whisper quiet.

"I—" I stuttered, unsure where to start.

Luc didn't wait for me to figure it out. Instead he rushed at me. I stumbled back, ducking away from him as he threw himself on the board. He took hold of it and tossed it across the room. It sailed—like an oversized frisbee—into the far wall, leaving a sizeable dent behind before slamming into the floor.

"What the fuck!" I cried, startled.

"I can't believe... I can't believe you just..." he snarled. His back to me, I watched his shoulders shake.

"I'm—I'm sorry!" I said, scrambling to my feet. "I just—"

Before I could get anything more out, Luc span around and pulled me into his arms. His grip was tight, squeezing the air out of me.

"You idiot," he murmured in my ear. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I—" I mumbled back. "I just—I wanted to know!"

He pulled back from me, holding me at arm's length. His gaze roved over me carefully, inspecting me. He looked at me like I had suddenly gone crazy, but it was him that looked deranged.

I waited for a moment for him to say something. When he didn't, I did. "I wanted to know what they wanted," I said, my voice shaking. "The... t-the girls."

"I told you to leave that to me!" Luc snapped, his brow diving into a frown. "You shouldn't be messing around with these things! You know better than that by now, don't you? You could've gotten hurt—something could've hurt you!"

"I know, but—"

"You, of all people, should know just what kind of dangerous things are out there!"

"I know, but—"

"And after everything you should understand that you can't just fool around with this stuff! You need to know how to control it, how to protect yourself—"

"But I am protected!" I screamed, finally freeing myself of his grip. I jabbed my finger at the golden script that ran along the top of the wall. "You said so yourself!"

Luc's gaze followed my finger. I watched as his eyes traced the golden border of his own making. He narrowed his eyes at it, like there was something suspicious there.

"You said nothing dangerous could cross the barrier! Plus I have the key!" I said, digging my hand into my shirt and pulling the chain out. "You said these things would protect me, right? You said that, didn't you?"

"I did, but..."

"But nothing!" I shouted. "I'm not stupid! I may not be an oh-so-holy psychic like you and Tory, but I get it. I understand how dangerous it is. And I wouldn't have done this if I had some other way."

"Some other way?" Luc echoed with a scoff. "I'm the other way!"

"But you won't tell me anything!" I snapped back, my face heating as my volume rose again. "You keep my at arms length and you keep everything to yourself."

Luc rolled his eyes. "I told you before, it's all for your protection."

"Well maybe I don't need protection! I'm not as scared and weak as you seem to think I am!" I screamed back, before stopping myself short. No, yelling wasn't helping. I held up my hand and took a deep breath. It took several more before I could speak in a calm voice. "Okay, I'll admit that isn't entirely true. I am scared. But not scared enough to hold me back. I want to help. I want... I want to know! I need to know."

"I know you do," Luc said, his voice whisper quiet. "But even if you're not scared, I am."

Those words froze me, clearing out all the hot, heavy emotions that had tangled up in my head. "Huh?"

Luc's eyes fluttered closed again. "The idea of you getting hurt," his voice trembled at the word. He cleared his voice before continuing, "The idea of losing you. I... I can't stand it. I can't... allow it." He covered his face with his hand.

"Luc...?"

He suddenly crumpled, sinking to the floor. He held his head in his hands, his long fingers tangling in his dark hair.

I stared at him for a moment before I crouched down beside him.

"Luc?" I said again. I reached out to touch his arm, but he flinched away, pulling in on himself.

"I've lost people before," he said, his voice so small. "I can't do it again."

"I know," I mumbled, remembering the few times that Luc actually touched on his past, of all those people he had lost to his curse—Lillian among them.

"So many people, so many ghosts..." he mumbled to himself. He shook his head and sniffed hard. The hands in his hair relaxed and then slid free. One dashed across his cheek before he looked at me again. His green eyes were shining. "I couldn't bare to lose you, too. I-I'm not sure I would survive it."

A sharp pang landed right between my ribs. "Oh, Luc," I said, taking his hand. He let me this time. "You're not going to lose me."

He just looked at me for a moment before answering. "I really hope that's true," he whispered finally. He sighed and his shoulders slumped. "And I know I should've talked to you. I just... I thought that if I kept it away from you then I could keep you safe. Unlike..." His eyes flickered, like weak flames, before a strange half smile pulled at his lips. "Sometimes I wish I could just lock you up somewhere safe where nothing could hurt you."

"You don't need to be quite that drastic" I said, squeezing his hand and offering him a small smile of my own. "And you don't have do this alone. These are my ghosts and they want to talk to me."

That captured his attention. He blinked at me. "They do?"

"They appeared to me, didn't they? And..." I pointed at the board that was still laying where it landed. Despite the dent in the wall, it didn't seem to have sustained any damage. "They told me. They said they were friends."

He glanced over his shoulder at it. "They—they spoke to you? Through the board?"

I scoffed. "You don't need to sound so surprised."

"Sorry," he said, still staring at the board. "I wasn't trying to patronizing. It's only that using those boards isn't easy."

"Huh?" I said. "I'm pretty sure anyone who's been through middle school has used one of those at a sleepover at least once."

"No, no. Using a real board is different," Luc said, still staring at the one that laid only a few feet from us. Under the rays of the setting sun, it almost had a red sheen. "Making contact—actual contact, with the right spirits—is difficult. But especially with that board."

"What do you mean?"

"That was my mother's board," he said, turning back to me. His brow was knotted up, like it was tangled with thoughts. "And she doesn't let just anyone use it."

I gaped at him. "She doesn't...? But isn't she...?"

"She's dead, yes. It's..." He gave a short, humourless laugh. "Like so many things in my life, it's long story. But my mother's spirit guards the board and watches over it. And she doesn't let just anyone through, or let just anyone use it. Even I can't use it all the time."

I stared at him.

Luc stared back, a strange look on his face... It was like he was seeing a stranger, someone entirely new to him. "I wonder why she let you."

I chewed on the insides of my cheeks as I pondered the question. Why indeed... But I already knew why, didn't I?

"Because she knew the girls had something important to tell me."

Luc leaned in close, his eyes intensifying as they held my gaze. "What did they tell you, Rachel?"

I bit my cheek, hard enough to taste blood. After Luc had just confessed all his fears of me getting hurt, I worried about telling him the truth.

"Rachel?" Luc asked again, inching closer.

"They," I breathed, "wanted to warn me."

Just as I feared, Luc's face fell. "Warn... you?"

I nodded.

"Warn you about what?" Luc asked, his suddenly frantic.

"I didn't get a chance to find out," I said. "Because you came in and—"

Luc jumped up, strode across the room and picked the board up off the ground. He tilted it back and forth, like he was looking for something in its red-tinged shine.

I clambered to my feet again. "What is it?"

When he turned back to me, his jaw was set and his green eyes were hard. "We need to try and speak with them again."

My heart swelled. "We?" I echoed, the single word sending shockwaves through my chest. "We're going to do this together?"

"Yes," he said, but he didn't look anywhere as excited about it as I was. "But we're going to do this my way."

+ + +

Luc and Rachel are finally communicating...

Do you think Luc is right to be scared?

I hope you enjoyed the chapter.

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