Contractually Yours: Chapter 46

Does he really love me?

The question continues to swirl in my head. I sometimes find myself staring at nothing for hours, pondering it. Good thing I’m not working. I can only imagine how embarrassing it would be to get caught wondering if my soon-to-be-ex-husband was in love with me.

He’s sent another bouquet. White asters. I look up the meaning in the Korean flower language reference book.

Have faith in me.

He should’ve sent flowers that meant “take a leap of faith.” The emotional wave that rises every time I think of him saying “I love you” in that gorgeous green field isn’t composed entirely of anticipation and joy. There’s fear, too. Lots of it—that I could be believing him too easily. That I’m ignoring all the evidence of how simple it is for men to make empty promises. That I’d better heed all the warnings or I’m going to end up like Mom, who tried so, so hard to pretend everything was fine in her world, even as people, including her own child, pitied her for being blind.

But if he does mean it…

My heart knocks so hard, I put a hand over my chest. If he means it, I could have what I saw in Absolute Love.

He has only one date left to make his case. What’s he going to do?

Am I going to be convinced?

But he still hasn’t said he’s going to contest the divorce. Jeremiah told me he was cooperating.

This is too confusing. And it doesn’t help that he says he just wants me.

As if I, alone, am enough.

I stare at myself in the mirror in my bedroom, note the cool, guarded blue eyes, the stubborn set of my chin. What am I if I don’t have anything to give back? What do I mean to people who don’t want something…external?

Sebastian says I’m enough. By myself. And it’s scary. What if I don’t measure up? What if I’m not enough?

I look in the mirror again. Drop the shield I’ve been holding up for so long. See the uncertain blue eyes. And the bravado I’m putting up so nobody can ever see that I don’t feel worthy the way I am.

If I could just be a better friend…

If I could just be the kind of heir my grandfather wanted…

If I could just be the kind of girlfriend men like…

I look at the asters again. Have faith in me.

I have to have faith in myself before I can have faith in Sebastian. And it’s scary as hell. I grip the edge of the vanity, face the terror clawing at my gut.

“I am worthy.”

I wait a beat, and my head whispers, As long as you can—

“No,” I say. “Just the way I am.”

But are you, though? It’s a voice that sounds like Bianca, Grandfather and Roderick rolled into one.

Chills run through me. My knuckles turn white as I tighten my hold on the vanity. No way in hell am I letting those jerks mess with my head now. “Yes. I am worthy. Just the way I am.”

You sure…? the voice questions again.

“Yes. I’m so damn fucking sure.” It’s unnerving to say it out loud. “I’m worthy of everything. I’m worthy of love. I am enough. And I’m going to say that out loud every time you try to mess with me.”

Three heartbeats pass in silence.

I blink, stare at myself in the mirror. My cheeks are flushed, my eyes bright. I feel a little drunk—a little high. As nerve-racking as that was, it also felt liberating. I don’t have to be anything I don’t want. I don’t have to meet any expectations except my own.

People will just have to take me as I am. I cover my face with my hands, then spin away from the mirror and walk out, wishing I could talk to somebody. I pick up my phone to text Sebastian, but stop. What am I going to tell him? That I’ve argued with my internal voice? That sounds pretty crazy, although my head couldn’t be clearer and my heart is the lightest it’s ever been.

For our final date, Sebastian again refuses to tell me where we’re going. Instead of getting a limo, he picks me up in his Phantom. I climb inside, feeling the leather seat mold around my tense body. Anxiety, expectations and trepidation mix together into an intoxicating and scary cocktail.

“You look beautiful,” he says, pulling the Rolls into traffic.

“Thanks.” I smile. The golden dress I have on is an Avery Parker original that Yuna sent two days ago. Apparently, the dress “screamed my name” and she had to get it for me. I never told her that Liam’s milkshake wouldn’t come out, but she knew anyway.

The new dress fits perfectly, as though Avery had my exact measurements. Since the color is on the lighter side, I slipped on my favorite white stilettos with thin, delicate heels that I almost never find a good occasion to wear.

Sebastian looks amazing in his dark suit. I note his tie. “I thought the Eldredge knot was too complicated to bother with.”

“I thought of it—and you—this morning.”

I smile, amused at how much he must have cursed trying to master the new knot. “Are you trying to convince me?”

“Am I succeeding?”

“Not quite yet,” I say primly.

“I didn’t think a tie knot would do it.”

“But…?”

“But every little detail adds up. Show the woman I love what’s always in my heart, no matter how small the gesture.”

I have to smile. “Does this mean I’m not getting a grand gesture?”

“Do you want one?”

“No,” I say, shuddering. I grew up with grand gestures. Whenever Mom felt particularly unloved, Roderick had to do something big. “I’ll take the little daily stuff any time.”

We drive into the city. Eventually, Sebastian stops his car in front of Sebastian Jewelry’s flagship L.A. store. “What are we doing here?” I ask.

“We’re going to have our third date.”

“Are you giving me diamonds?” If so, I’ll be disappointed.

“No.” He takes my hand. There’s a sign outside stating the store’s closed for the day.

“You closed it for our visit?” I ask in shock. This is one of the biggest and most profitable Sebastian Jewelry retail locations in North America.

“Yes.”

He leads me inside the empty store, to a private room in the back. I’ve visited the store before—to check out the competition—but I’ve never been in this area. It’s a beautiful space with lots of reflective surfaces and lights. There are three huge display cases, a couple of plush black leather couches and a glass-top table.

“This is used for the VIPs who need privacy and discretion,” he explains. “Most of them are celebrities or foreign dignitaries.”

He takes me to the center display.

I look down and see designs familiar from the collaboration meeting. Earrings and necklaces with hydrangea motifs made with amethyst, iolite, sapphire and tourmaline in the most gorgeous purple sparkle under the lights. They couldn’t look more stunning. I close my eyes for a moment, picturing how a bride-to-be would look in our jewelry. She’d glow, like all women in love. And our jewelry would sparkle with her. Excitement bubbles. This launch in Korea is going to be amazing. I can feel it in my gut.

I open my eyes and smile at him. “They’re perfect. People are going to go crazy for them.”

His thumb brushes over my cheek. “You miss your work.”

“I do. I miss making people look and feel beautiful.”

“You should come back, then.”

“But I’m out.”

He shakes his head. “If you feel uncomfortable about that, you can come back as a consultant, rather than CEO. See how you like it. See if you want to take over the company’s management again.” He reaches inside the case, plucks a stunning violet iolite hydrangea pin and sticks it in my hair. “Made it just for you because this was your favorite design.”

And he picks up something else from a different display case behind him and crouches down at my feet. I feel a cool weight around my ankle. I look down when he stands—and see a string of rubies.

The ruby anklet he told me about. The bright red stones glitter like hearts pulsing with hope and anticipation.

“I would’ve brought it sooner, but it took a while to reset the stones from bracelets into the anklet. I didn’t like the stones on the ones we had on hand.”

I’m touched he remembered, but I’m also confused. Does he plan to give me pretty things to prove himself now? The one thing I’ve never lacked in my life is beautiful baubles.

“What are we doing?” What are you doing?

“I’m giving the woman I love something nice that I made while thinking of her.” He takes a moment to look at me. “You’re the moon in my night sky. I’m just putting a few stars around you so you can shine even brighter.”

“But why? We’re getting divorced. You aren’t even going to contest it. So why are we here?” Do you really love me? The most important question gets lodged in my throat.

“Not contesting the divorce doesn’t mean I don’t love you or don’t want to be with you,” he says quietly. “Our marriage didn’t start out right. You deserve to be courted, made to feel special. I should’ve proposed to you properly, and I should’ve put my ring on your finger.”

This time, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a dark, square velvet box. He drops to a knee and pops the lid open. “I designed this ring for you. So I can beg for another chance from the woman I love.”

It’s a stunning Toi et Moi ring made with a sapphire and a diamond. But unlike the one I got, it has a constellation of smaller diamonds that sparkle around the bigger stones.

“You and me,” he says. “Plus all the people in our orbit. You think you don’t have anybody, but you do. Matthias. Yuna. And you have my brothers and their wives on your side as well. Regardless of your answer, you are the owner of all our shares. I’m having them transferred to you. I don’t ever want to see you lose your dream. And I convinced the board to bring you back.”

“How?” I manage as shock shoots through me like a bolt of lightning.

“By guaranteeing you’d hit all the milestones you said you’d hit during the shareholder meeting.”

“That couldn’t have been enough.” I grip his forearm. “What else did you do?”

He shrugs. “If it doesn’t work out, I’m on the hook for a few hundred million, payable to Peery Diamonds.”

“No!” I gasp.

“I have to put my money where my mouth is, Valkyrie.”

“But Sebastian—!”

He smiles up at me. “I have faith in you. You should, too.”

Tears sting my eyes, and my cheeks get hot. Never in my life did I dream that someone would do this for me. “You’re crazy,” I say between sniffles.

“Crazy in love with you.”

“Ask me,” I demand, doing my best not to burst into tears.

“Will you marry me?” He takes my left hand and kisses the spot where the rings used to be. “I’ll devote every moment of my life to making you happy.”

“Yes.”

He gives me a smile more brilliant than the gemstones on the ring. He slides it on my finger, where it sparkles perfectly.

As he stands, I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. He kisses me back, and heat rises between us. I clench my hand in his hair, pulling him close.

I can’t get close enough.

I can’t get enough of this man.

I miss him so much.

All my inhibitions and walls are crumbling. He loves me…really loves me… And I can’t keep him out.

He carries me to one of the couches and lays me on the thick cushions. Impatience rising, I rip at his tie, his clothes. The fancy knot comes undone with a slithery whisper of silk. The suit that costs tens of thousands of dollars falls on the floor in an unceremonious heap. I tug at his buttons. My hands shake so hard, I can’t unbutton his dress shirt fast enough.

He pushes my clumsy fingers out of the way, grips the sides of his shirt and pulls hard. Buttons fly, pinging as they hit the marble tiles. He undoes and drops the cuff links on the table.

His hands land on each side of my head, and he begins to lower his mouth to mine. But I put my hand on his shoulder to stop him when I notice something on his chest.

“What is that?” My voice trembles as incredulity works its way through my heart.

There is black writing over his heart that wasn’t there before. It reads:

EXCLUSIVE PROPERTY OF LUCIENNE PEERY

TRESPASSERS WILL BE REMOVED WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE

I lick my finger and wipe it over the writing to see if it comes off. It stays.

He laughs. “It’s a tattoo.”

“Oh my God. When did you get this?”

“The day you served me with the divorce papers.”

Shock slackens my jaw. “Are you insane?”

“If it makes you feel better, I’d planned to get it done earlier. I just didn’t have a chance until that day.”

“But you went ahead and did it anyway?”

He nods. He’s looking at me tenderly, but now I’m beginning to wonder if our contract said I was supposed to get custody of his sanity upon divorce. “What if we never made up? What if I never took you back?” My voice shakes as his overwhelming love wraps around me like a cocoon.

“What does that matter? Our marital status doesn’t change the fact that my heart”—he takes my hand and places it over his thudding chest—“belongs to you.”

My eyes grow teary. “I thought you didn’t do grand gestures.”

“I don’t think putting your name on what’s yours can be considered grand.” He brushes his lips over my forehead and eyebrows.

“You crazy man,” I choke out. “I love you too.”

His smile is brilliant.

“Just kiss me, okay?” My voice is thick with emotion as I pull him down.

Laughing, he does as I ask. Runs his warm, reverent hands along my face, then my neck and the rest of my body like he’s holding something infinitely precious in his arms. My dress falls off my body, and I cling to him in nothing but my heels, jewelry and his gorgeous ring on my finger.

As he gives me everything I ever dreamed of and more, the emptiness that’s been gnawing my heart for so long vanishes, replaced by love and joy.

I’m finally home.