Detonate: Chapter 26

After a weekend with Sienna, eating ice creams and binge watching rom-coms, I feel better. I keep searching for men who I think my mom would approve of, who would give me this idea of a life I’m not even sure if I want anymore. I’m actually in a place right now where I am happy on my own. I have an apartment and a studio with a thriving career. Why the hell have I been so obsessed with needing Mr. Perfect?

I spend the entire week keeping busy with work. The place is pretty much sparkling at this point. All my supplies reorganized into neat containers; I even stacked Evie’s pens in color gradients. Anything to keep my mind off him.

My mom called me yesterday to tell me my cousin, Masie, who as she reminded me is four years younger than me, is getting married at the end of the year. I’ve been invited with a plus one. Or rather, she’s trying to force me to find a plus one. Alas, the one man I will only ever want isn’t the man for me.

Sometimes, things just aren’t meant to be.

But this has been the longest week of my life without him.

Sienna beams at me as I approach the VIP booth area in The End Zone. A possessive Keller has his arm wrapped around her waist. Giving her a wave, I quicken my pace.

“Maddie.” Luca nods, holding his glass of amber liquid up to me.

Frankie nods, his gray eyes are striking against his dark features and olive skin. I can’t lie; he’s very attractive. Not Grayson, but has that Greek god vibe, powerful and shrouded in darkness.

Maybe that’s what I’m into.

Luca pats the seat next to him, and I join him. Keller pours me a glass of champagne and slides it across the table to me.

“Everything okay, Maddie?” he questions, raising his eyebrows as he speaks.

He knows.

“Yep.” I swipe up the flute and down the contents. Luca chuckles next to me. Great. They all know.

I can feel all of their eyes on me as I sip my drink.The air in the room shifts then, and the hairs on the back of my neck stand.

“Evening.” His voice sends electricity straight through me.

Grayson.

Everyone greets him, but I keep my head straight.

He slides in the booth next to Sienna, opposite me.

“Sunshine.”

“Hi,” I reply with a tight smile, trying my hardest not to squirm in my seat.

A barely dressed barmaid rushes over and drops a glass of scotch in front of him. Her fingers brush against the black shirt clinging to his bicep. My hand tightens around the glass. All the while, his eyes never leave mine. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, and I can’t help but lick my lips.

Luca leans into me. “Hey, calm down with the glass. You’ll shatter that in a second.”

Immediately, my grip on the glass loosens.

“You’re unusually quiet, Maddie. What’s up?” he asks. It kind of stuns me. I’ve been to plenty of events with Luca, but we’ve never really struck up much of a conversation. He always chips in with jokes and comments though.

Although, he’s always watching. Taking everything in.

“I just have a lot going on, I don’t know what I’m doing to be honest.”

I can feel Grayson’s stare burning into the side of my face.

“He’s been in the same mood this week—fucking painful.” He chuckles.

We really are miserable without each other.

I whisper into Luca’s ear. His strong sandalwood aftershave mixed with cigarettes assault my senses.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve pissed him off to the point of no return.”

“I don’t think you could ever push him away. He’s obsessed with you; he has been since last year. You did hurt him though. Just think about what happened to him before. He’s a softie deep down there somewhere. But he’s also a hothead.”He grins, side-eyeing Grayson.

“Maybe if you both just accept you fucking love one another, it might make life easier for us. Stop pushing each other away.”

Love.

I’ve never felt anything so all-consuming, so passionate, so pure in my twenty-six years on this planet.

“Maybe. I guess we will see.”

“Just think about it.” He shrugs.

My eyes meet Grayson’s thunderous expression and my cheeks heat. God, he’s sexy when he’s angry.

I cross my legs under the table, purposely brushing against his shin.

His face morphs from anger to hunger, his eyes flashing with desire, burning straight into my core.

He stands. I tilt my head up as he towers over me, holding out his hand. “Dance with me?”

The guys around the table shoot their heads around to us. Luca nudges my thigh with his own, prompting me to move.

I slip my hand in his, and the second I do, warmth swarms in my veins. He leads us toward the dancefloor, barging past the crowds of people.

He doesn’t say a word as he spins me in front of him and wraps his strong arms around my torso, his head resting on my shoulder. We sway to the music, my ass grinding up against him.

Everyone around us fades into the background. It’s just us. I turn in his arms, lacing my arms around his neck. We don’t say anything, just stare into each other’s eyes.

He was right; there was never any going back once we started this.

“Meet me tomorrow? At my gym? Say, 1pm?”

“Wait, are you not staying?”

“I came to get Frankie. I promised you space and I want to give you it, Maddie. Last weekend was a lot, even for us. You need to work out what it is that you truly want. I don’t want part of you. I want all of you. Every single inch. Nothing less. So, have fun tonight. Tomorrow, you make the decision. Okay?”

The words are on the tip of my tongue, to tell him to just take me home. I want it all. But something stops me.

He’s right in a way, but the thought of losing him, being without him like I have been for the last week gives me all the answers I need.

“Tomorrow.” I cup his stubbly jaw. This moment is so raw.

He presses a kiss to the top of my head and releases me. Frankie strides in our direction.

“No matter what, it will always be you.” Grayson takes my hand and squeezes, before turning on his heel. They head for the exit, and the next thing I know, Sienna is wrapping me up in a hug.

Can I do this? Can I really give him everything?

“Let’s go get a drink, Mads. You look like you could do with one.”

“Hmm, yeah.”