Bad Intentions: Chapter 19

My stomach ached from too much soda and nerves. Great, jangling nerves that had been growing in my belly from the second I’d put on Josh’s jersey, and then spread like wildfire in response to Cayden’s murderous expression when he’d realized.

The buzzer sounded, and people surged out of their seats for snacks and bathroom breaks while I remained glued in my nice and safe seat.

“Honey, are you getting up?” My mom typed away on her phone, answering work emails despite it being after hours.

“No, I wasn’t going to.”

“Can you grab a bottle of water? I need to take some Tylenol,” she asked me.

Of course, I couldn’t refuse that. My mom often found that the games gave her a headache after a busy day at the real estate office she worked in. I nodded and stood reluctantly. Eve was working at the diner tonight, so I was alone. Where the hell I’d gotten the courage to wear Josh’s jersey here, alone, I had no idea, but I suspected it stemmed from the anger that’d been brewing inside me all weekend.

Cayden had twisted me inside out with his touch in Beckett’s room. I’d felt all sorts of things toward him in that moment; weak, soft, forgiving things. Then, it turned out he’d been manipulating the entire thing. I was furious, resentful, and yes, maybe a little hurt. Here I was, my feelings latching on to the guy who was terrorizing me, and he was just playing with my emotions, and my body, too, whenever he felt like it.

My mind had rationalized that since Cayden was only toying with me, he shouldn’t care whose jersey I wore. By the look on his face and the way he’d gone after Josh in the game, I quickly realized I was wrong. For some reason, it bothered him. I had to apologize to Josh. The poor guy hadn’t done anything wrong, and he was going to be bruised for days because of me.

I grabbed my mom’s water bottle from the vending machine outside the rink and headed back in the direction of our seats. Passing by the women’s bathroom, I ducked inside. I was physically incapable of passing a toilet without needing to go.

There were a few other people inside, and one or two cast curious glances at my jersey as I headed for a stall. Great, in my quest to rebel against Cayden, I’d made everyone suspect that I was dating Josh. Really bright idea, Lily. Brava.

I’d just finished up when the commotion started outside the stall.

“Excuse me! This is the ladies’ room!” someone screeched.

“I don’t care. Get out now.” Cayden’s voice was furious, a deep, scoring line of fury that seemed to lead right to me.

There was slamming of doors and the sounds of mutters and whispers, then the main door banged shut, and we were alone.

I stood in the stall, frozen with tension, listening for the slightest sound.

“Come on out, Lillian, unless you want to be responsible for this door getting broken.”

His voice came from just outside my stall. My breath caught, and my heart pounded, sweat slicking my palms. Fucking hell. Why had I antagonized him?

A sudden bang on the door shook the entire row of stalls… Crap. He wasn’t joking.

“Fine, I’m coming out, no need to break things like a neanderthal,” I muttered, sliding open the lock.

I only just managed to step back when the door banged open, and Cayden invaded the tiny space. He didn’t let me out; he was coming in. He nearly didn’t fit with all his padding on. He took up the entire space, and all I could do was look up at him as he crowded me back against the wall.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he demanded.

“I might ask you the same thing. Don’t you have a game to play? Coach won’t like the fact that you’re out here during intermission.” Trying to get him worried about the game was weak at best, but I had no other defenses right now. “Also, attempting to start fights on your own team is frowned upon, too, which I’m sure you know.”

“Meaning?” Cayden’s furious face was only inches from mine, his eyes burrowing deep like hooks, trying their best to tear into me.

“Meaning leave Josh alone, he doesn’t deserve to be crushed by you.”

Cayden laughed, and it felt dangerous. “You want to be careful about defending that guy to me right now.”

“Why?”

“Because I might decide that there is actually something going on between you, instead of you just trying to piss me off, and that wouldn’t be good for Josh.”

“Why? What are you going to do to him? You can’t fight with him, you’ll get kicked off the team!”

“I won’t bother fighting with him. He’ll just have an accident…and if he’s lucky, losing the ability to play will be the only thing that happens to him, and not something far worse.”

He looked stone-cold serious while he threatened Josh’s safety so casually. It was scary as hell.

“Cayden, be serious, you can’t—” I started, my heart all but in my throat.

“I can do whatever I want. I have done whatever I want, and breaking someone’s leg would be the least of it. Don’t test me, Lily. You don’t know what I’m capable of, and you don’t want to know,” he said quietly, leaning close to me. “After what we shared the other night, you turning around and bringing someone between us won’t be tolerated, do you understand? Since you don’t seem to care that I could leak your journal, then think of Josh’s safety and don’t risk it.”

“You expect me to believe that ‘what we shared’ was so special to you. You pushed me in the pool! You orchestrated all of it!” My accusation battered uselessly against his stony resolve.

He nodded, unrepenting. “I’d do that and a hell of a lot worse to get you where I want you. I’ve told you time and again. Stop. Testing. Me.”

Before I could respond, a loud buzzer sounded in the distance, muted by the bathroom door. The intermission was over. I was literally saved by the bell.

“Stop celebrating. I’m not done with you,” Cayden suddenly warned.

Before I could stop him, he tugged Josh’s jersey up and over my head. I fought him, but my hands were useless against his superior strength as he ripped it over my head and scrunched it into a ball in his hand, leaving me in just a pale-pink bra.

His eyes lowered, his attention fastening on my chest. I followed his gaze. My nipples were clearly visible through the translucent lace, and worst of all, they were hard. Arguing with Cayden up close and personal like this, him in his jersey and padding…my body couldn’t take it. I was only human, after all, but right now, my involuntary reaction to him was embarrassing as hell.

I looked up and away when I met his mocking gaze.

“It’s cold in here,” I muttered.

His chuckle stroked over my skin like velvet. “No, it’s not, but whatever you need to tell yourself to justify this, that’s fine.” His hand reached my tit and brushed against my nipple.

I couldn’t push him away, it felt too damn good. Then he pinched the sensitive tip and made me gasp.

“That’s for being a bad girl, Freckles. I’ll kiss it better later.”

I raised my chin, knowing that brazening it out was my only option right now. “Give me the shirt back.”

He tutted and stepped back, allowing some much-needed oxygen to reach my dizzy head.

“You don’t wear his number, or anyone else’s but mine.”

“You’re such a bully. I’d rather go out there naked than wear yours.”

He smirked then, chilling my blood. “Then allow me to make your wish come true. Looks like you’re sitting out the rest of the game.”

His hand moved before I could stop him, and he tossed Josh’s jersey toward the toilet with perfect precision.

“Asshole!” I lunged for it, but it was too late, it had fallen right in and was already soaked through.

“That’s right. I’m the asshole who owns you. Don’t forget it again.”

I straightened up and glared at him as he opened the stall door and somehow got his huge, padded shoulders out.

After a moment, the bathroom door closed, and silence rang.

I gingerly plucked Josh’s jersey out of the toilet. It dripped in my hands. Well, I couldn’t very well go outside with just my bra on, and this was wet. I had to wash and dry it before I could give it back to Josh, or even put it on to go outside.

I ground my teeth and wished I’d grabbed the drenched jersey and flung it at Cayden before he’d disappeared.

It took me ages to fall asleep that night. Fury at Cayden warred with the tension in my body. Every single time he touched me, he broke something in my mind. I wanted him. I loathed him. I had no idea what was going on between us most of the time, but if it ended in a homicide charge, I had a real insanity defense in my favor. The guy was driving me insane.

Worse, every time he pissed me off, he only crawled further into my subconscious like poison.

That night was no different. I dreamed he was in bed with me, his heavy weight across my legs, my panties slowly slipping down. I was lying on my front, and the cool air on my ass prickled my skin. My dreams were only getting more detailed. His hands gripped my ass cheeks and parted them, exposing both my holes to his eyes. His large finger traced down the cleft and over my asshole, jerking me awake. I’d never dreamed of ass stuff, ever. I just wasn’t that imaginative.

My eyes snapped open into the dark of my room, and I realized that the phantom fingertip circling my asshole wasn’t a figment of my overheated subconscious at all.

It was very, very real, and very, very thick.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I whisper-yelled at him.

He was a large shadow near my feet, a slice of moonlight falling across his naked torso, illuminating every ripple of muscle on his fine form.

“Reminding you whose ass this is,” he murmured back and brought a hand down hard on my ass cheek.

The crack felt like a gunshot. I nearly rolled right off the bed. Only his huge, immoveable hand holding my thigh kept me in place.

“Now, shut the fuck up like a good girl and stop pretending you don’t like it. Liars get spanked.”

A rolling wave of heat went through me as his hand returned to my cleft, his knees shoving my legs further apart. I was facedown and spread-eagled before him, and all I could think was that he was right. I did like it. I liked this. Even though only a few hours ago, I’d been so angry I could have ripped his head off, now, my body was melting into the mattress. I was such a pushover, it was ridiculous. This was the danger of having literally no experience at the age of eighteen…making terrible decisions as soon as you found someone who made you feel something, anything at all. Anger, fear, hate, and love, they all seemed to bleed into each other right now. I couldn’t tell them apart, and at that moment, I didn’t want to. I just wanted to feel free again, just for a second, and not care about the consequences.

His finger worked into me, and I arched my back into the feeling. His thumb found my clit, and he rubbed it while finger-fucking me.

I rose quickly. It was too much like my dreams to stop myself. Just when I thought I was about to tip over and come, he stopped, and his other hand smacked my ass hard.

“Hey,” I hissed at him, disappointment about not coming humming through my veins.

“This is for the jersey,” he said firmly, and then his fingers moved again inside me, and the sting on my backside faded as pleasure rose through me again.

Once more, just when I was about to come, he stopped and smacked my ass instead. The anticipation for the spanks was heightening everything. It felt good. It felt amazing. I could never confess that guilty fact, or I’d crumble into dust and disappear forever.

“This is for holding his fucking hand,” Cayden said, pumping his fingers back into me.

I was a dripping mess, my own juices working down my thighs. I’d never been so wet or so desperate to come.

“Okay, I get it. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. Just let me come,” I pleaded, pushing my ass back against him, trying to tip myself over the edge.

Cayden made a noise of sympathy. “I wish it could be over so quickly, Freckles, but remember next time not to do the crime if you can’t do the time.” He leaned in so his hot breath scorched my ear. “We’re just getting started.”