Chapter Nine

Audrey

The slight knock on the door gets my attention. I breathe out loudly feeling my nerves building up. I quickly turn off the gas and head to the door.

I hope it's Tripp. I need help setting up the table and most especially, I just him to be here for emotional support which I know I will need.

I sweep the strands of hair coming out from my ponytail to the back before I twist the door knob to open it.

Although it's not the person I am expecting at the moment, I feel a big smile spread across my face as I see my sister.

I take a quick scan of Daisy. She looks pretty much the same. Long thick curls, brown eyes, high cheekbones, perfect face, and long legs. One thing about Daisy, she never looks anything short of perfect.

I stretch my arms wide as I draw Daisy in for a hug. It's an uncomfortable hug and I am sure she feels it. I breathe in her scent, hoping to catch any trace of home.

Do I even remember what home smells like?

Daisy releases herself from the hug. "Hey," She says adjusting her backpack.

"Hey," I say with an awkward chuckle. At this point, I notice the pumpkin pie that Daisy is holding in her hand. "You didn't have to," I say, gesturing at the pie.

"Oh," Daisy looks down at the pie, remembering she is holding something. She hands it to me. "Mum made it, she said I should say I bought it from a supermarket but once you have a taste of it, you will definitely know it's mum." She pauses. "Well, that's if you can still remember the taste."

My heart warms at the idea of my mum making the pie. I miss her cooking. "Of course, I can still remember," I say looking down at it with a big smile on my face.

Mum was thinking of me, even after all these years. That means she doesn't hate me, right?

I look up at my sister who's standing in front of me awkwardly. "Oh, come on in." I usher her into the house.

I walk ahead of her to the kitchen, where I place the pie on the counter.

I walk back into the sitting room to see Daisy scanning the small apartment. I think I can decode what's going on in her head through the condensing look on her face. She is probably thinking how the apartment is almost the exact size of their bedroom back at home.

I smile, and I know I will have to keep smiling so this weekend can go great. All that matters right now is that she gets to spend time with her little sister. Build a bond they never had.

"Your apartment looks cute," Daisy says with a small smile. "You stay here with your boyfriend?"

She has never called Tripp by this name, and it always pisses me off.

"Tripp? Yeah. He is joining us for dinner tonight." I say as my eyes are on the door.

Where the fuck is he?

~~~

I think I just had the most awkward dinner. Small talks here and there, it's like we are strangers, not sisters. I am so mad at Tripp; he was supposed to be here hours ago. He knows how important this dinner was to me and still, he didn't show up.

It's frustrating.

We are currently sitting on the couch eating our pumpkin pie in silence. The only solace I get right now is knowing my mum made this.

"You guys don't have a television?" Daisy asks dropping her disposable plate on the floor close to where she is sitting.

"No, we don't watch it much so..." I reply, trying to make it sound like it was an option.

It wasn't, having a television wasn't a necessity, and so we never got one.

"Well, I can give you my Netflix password for your phone, if you want." She offers.

"No, thanks," I say quickly before even processing the offer.

I don't know why I didn't accept the offer. It will be nice to have something to watch, I can catch up on some series I watched years back.

The room goes silent again, in an attempt to continue the conversation. "So, any boyfriend I should know about?" I tease.

"Girlfriend," Daisy corrects me.

"Oh," I say taken aback for a second. "That's cool. I apologize. "

"Why are you apologizing?" She looks at me with an eyebrow raised.

"Uh I- I mean,"

"I am kidding, I'm straight" Daisy says rolling her eyes.

"O- Of cou-course you are," I stutter.

"I am leaving early tomorrow morning, I have lots of assignments." Daisy uses her regular excuse.

I sigh, in defeat and frustration. "If you don't want to hang out with me, don't. You don't have to lie or give excuses." I feel my voice break. "Because I am tired of trying-"

"Trying?" Daisy stands up. "Oh, I should stop everything because the almighty Audrey is trying." She mocks.

"That's not fair," I say already teary-eyed.

"Do you know what's not fair? When you left us, when you left me," Tears welling up in Daisy's eyes, "I wasn't even relevant enough to be included in your runaway letter." Her voice starts breaking. "Do you know how that feels?"

I wrote a quick letter before I left with Tripp years back. In this letter, I apologized to my parents for the heartbreak I will cause and how grateful I was for everything they have done for me.

I haven't thought about the letter in years until now. The truth is I didn't know what to write to Daisy.

"I am-"

Daisy interrupts me. "I was the first person to find the letter and I read it countless times. I read between the lines to find something that's for me. Maybe, just maybe you thought of me for a second."

Daisy and I were never close, we are polar opposites. Daisy is the perfect daughter, straight A's, is the captain of the cheerleading squad and was popular. She made being brilliant cool.

And as for me, I was just known as Daisy's sister. I lived under her little sister's shadows, it was safe there. I wasn't smart enough, and didn't get heads turning when I walked by. I was average in everything.

I swear that the time my parents started noticing me was when I started dating Tripp. That's when they had my time.

Not giving me a chance to talk and explain myself, she continues. "I look around this house and I am more pissed." She throws her hand up dramatically. "Because I hoped everything you did would have been worth it, maybe I'll be less mad." Daisy shakes her head. "But no, you live in a house that's as small as a closet with your fucking boyfriend who doesn't bother to show up for dinner. I am pissed."

Daisy stops and looks me in the eyes, "Let me ask one question, was it worth it?"

The question hung in the air for a few minutes now. I am not thinking about the question or the perfect answer to give my sister. I can't.

There are instances where I shut down her mind and brain to prevent a thought from coming to life. These thoughts can slowly poison my mind and have me question all that I know is true. I won't be able to shake it off and it will linger in my mind till I'll go crazy.

I cannot question my relationship with Tripp.

"Doesn't matter anymore, what matters is that we can start over, and build a relationship that we never had. I am sorry for not being there when you needed me-"

Daisy interrupts, "You don't know the half of it". She scoffs. "All the heartbreaks, the anxiety, when I need my sister, you weren't there. " A tear dropped from her eyes, "Did you know that Chrissy died in a car accident?"

I gasp in shock. "O, my God." I manage to say, feeling my heart squeeze.

Chrissy was Daisy's best friend. They act as sisters, I got jealous growing up. I can't imagine what Daisy went through.

"Cut it out, it's been years since she died." Daisy rolls her eyes like I am faking emotions but I ignore it.

"W-when?" My voice comes out shaky.

"Just around the time, you left. I lost two sisters in a year. How do you think I felt?"

"I am so sorry. If I had known-"

She interjects. "If you had known you would have what? Come back?" She says dryly. "No, you wouldn't because you are a selfish, attention-seeking bitch."

"That's not fair." I shake my head as tears roll down my eyes.

"Why else did you leave if it's not for our parents' attention? You craved it. You obviously didn't leave to get married," Daisy looks down at my empty finger. I suddenly feel like I am naked. "To pursue your writing career, I don't think so. To have a better life with the man you love?" She looks around like she is just seeing the place for the first time. "I guess not."

"You can get mad at me for not being there for you. You can look down at where I am now, after all, life isn't kind to people's dreams. But you are not going to reduce the feeling of happiness, love, freedom, fear, and hope I had when I was leaving with him that night to attention seeking. I won't let you." I say firmly, my eyes locked with hers.

"I guess you got to hold on to that feeling because, from the looks of it, that's all you have." She says venomously.

I take a step back as I feel a surge of emotions. I begin to walk towards the room, if we continue this back and forth, it won't end well. We can't solve years of problems in one night. I slam the door the bedroom door shut and fall on the bed sobbing.

~~~~

I stop rising the plates when I hear the door open. Just his presence makes my blood boil and tears well up in my eyes. I don't want to be crying when I face him but I can't help it. I cry when I am angry.

I can hear Tripp quietly making his way to me. I drop the plate into the zinc. I don't think it is a great idea to be holding something breakable when I am this mad.

I might just smash it on his head.

I feel the heat of his figure behind me. "Did Daisy-"

I turn around with a frown that prevents me from crying, "Yeah, she is asleep."

I push him a little to be able to get space to walk out of the kitchen. I can't be in close proximity to him. I get fragile and I will forgive him easily.

I lean on the counter with my arms folded as I stare at him, more composed.

"I am so sorr-"

I interrupt him. "How was your gig tonight?"

It's a trick question. I am hoping the car had a fault again hence the reason he couldn't make it was because he couldn't control it.

"It was really good, the crowd-" He starts with a big smile on his face.

I scoff at the nerves he has.

Noticing my disinterest, he stops. "I am sorry for missing dinner."

"I have just one question." I hold a finger up. "Do I ask for a lot from you?" I glare at him. "Do I?"

He shakes his head. "You don't and I am grateful."

"You are not," I shake my head with a bitter smile on my face. "You are not, because if you were you would have been here so much earlier."

"There was this friend of Je-"

"I don't care. " I say honestly. "You were supposed to be there and you weren't, instead you selfishly did want you wanted."

That word seems to have an effect on him. I can see it on his face. "Selfishly?"

"Yes, selfishly," I repeat a frown still on my face.

"That hurts because you know everything I do, I do for us." The tone of his voice reduces.

I don't care about his hurt. I am the one that should be upset and hurt. He can't take that from me.

"Well, I don't feel it." I shrug.

"Why did you even want me here tonight? Your sister doesn't even like me, I would have ruined dinner."

I release my arms, blinking a couple of times but not giving an answer.

Tripp's eyes widen in realization. "You want to prove to Daisy that even though we aren't rich, we still have our love." He chuckles sadistically, "This is all for show."

"Well, you might be right but now I don't know if we have our love anymore," I say walking out of the kitchen.

~~~~

I get out of bed and walk to the slightly opened door of the bedroom. Audrey just left the room and walked to the sitting room where Tripp his. I am curious to know what they will talk about as they haven't said more than a word since meeting years back. I put my ear near the door for better listening.

"Good morning." I hear Tripp greet Daisy.

After a second, "Morning," Daisy greets back. I imagine a forced smile on her face.

"Is she still sleeping?" Tripp asks.

This must be his attempt to small talk.

"Yes, I guess."

After seconds of silence, Tripp starts again. "Want some coffee?"

I smile, at least he is trying.

"No," I can feel the strain in her tone. Even from here, I can feel the awkwardness in the atmosphere.

"Guess dinner didn't go well?" Tripp continues.

"Yeah," She mutters.

"Honestly, I think you need to give your sister a break. She is really trying and-"

Daisy interrupts him. "I don't fucking know you other than the fact you are the guy my sister ran away with. You don't tell me what to do."

I hate that she is talking to him like this. I hate when anyone is rude to Tripp. I feel the urge to defend him.

I open the door a little more to see.

Tripp stands up. "I guess we should change that." He walks up to her. Daisy raises her eyebrows as she takes a step back. "I am Tripp, the man who loves your sister more than life itself. She is my family, my heart. I know what we have doesn't seem like much to you, but every day I work towards giving her the life she deserves."

Daisy stares at him speechless. I mean I am speechless.

I think we still have our love.

I close the door a little before they notice my presence.

~~~

Daisy picks up her backpack and wears it over her shoulders. "I should get going." She announces.

I stand up and follow her to the door. I really feel bad for last night but I don't know what to say, where to start. "You're sure you don't want to stay for breakfast?" I ask for the thousandth time.

"No, I need to get back to campus early."

I open the door for her and she walks out, "Daisy," I call out. "I am-"

She interjects, "I know me too." Daisy says with a small smile. "I said something I wasn't proud of yesterday."

"It's okay, it was your truth," I mutter. "Can I hug you?"

Daisy nods as we throw our arms around each other and lock ourselves into a tight hug. "I am trying hard to be your big sister and I will try harder but you have to meet me halfway," I say, taking in her scent.

It does smell like home. She smells like home.

"Fine," Daisy says as they release each other. "Come home one of these days. Mum and Dad won't admit it but they are dying to see you."

I don't know how to face her parents. Yeah, I am a lot older but I will literally die if I see their disappointed faces.

"Maybe one day," I say making no promises.

"Bye," Daisy smiles.

"Bye."

~~~