FEAR OF FLYING

Gregory closed the door to his apartment and pinched himself. Yes, he was not sleeping and well in the reality where Xenia banished him. Everything that happened in the last hour seemed surreal. Even when the man replayed the scene in his mind, he saw no fault on his behalf, nor Xenia's.

She was afraid, and so was he; the man could not portray his emotions, especially in the circumstances.

Gregory paced back and forth; why did things have to be so complicated?

The woman drove him up the wall, made Gregory want to bang his head against it. Despite that, he couldn't stay away from Xenia, though she was a health hazard.

Xenia was dangerous. No woman did this to him, and what was worse for the man was an addict to her affection. Unlike other women with Xenia, there was a real exchange but also a lot of passion.

Sex played an important part; their body communication held no flaws.

They were in perfect osmosis when it came to that. Gregory loved making love to her. If with others, Gregory perpetually opted for the more sporty positions with Xenia; he wanted intimacy.

Eye to eye contact, he loved seeing facial expressions of excitement, pleasure, and the plea when she couldn't take any more. The Face-Off, The Cat, and even the good old Missionary went from has-been position to the next best thing with Xenia.

Gregory knew he lost himself to her in every way.

The heart-shattering and ear-bashing throbbing within him made the man feel alive. Xenia was oxygen, accustomed to her smile, her scent; Gregory didn't know how he managed to live without knowing these sensations. Now he wondered if he could carry on living without her.

Why could he not tell her all this?

Despite these thoughts sizzling in his mind, Gregory hid his emotions so well Xenia could only be confused, but this was too much.

Why did she need to push him?

Yes, Gregory hadn't thought of the future. He locked the strategies away to live the beautiful present, but it wasn't a reason enough to push him out without giving him a chance to demonstrate his affection.

Sia had a father, Gregory was well aware he could not take Mark's place, and it wasn't what he tried to do or what angered him.

The routine installed consumed both of them in happiness, but unlike Gregory, Xenia attempted foreseeing the future.

She wanted guarantees. Gregory couldn't give them, at least not yet.

Gregory was the type of man for whom everything was about the right timing—playing the right note at the right moment.

There was no use pushing him; Xenia couldn't know.

As a result, another argument came to throw shade on their bliss. To let go and fly in a relationship was scary, yet Xenia asked him to do so.

To love, Xenia, eyes shut, trusting, and letting down his guard, the contract weighed and was on standby.

She won't come, she won't bend, damn woman.

Now Xenia pressured him, Gregory was anxious.

The following days they crossed each other in the halls; Xenia feigned to ignore him. The woman knew how to hold a grudge, but Gregory was no pushover either. As much as he adored her, he could not accept Xenia's outburst. He was a rational man who preferred discussions. Xenia lured him out of his comfort zone, and the man did not appreciate it.

XX XY

"Okay, Gregory, I know it's your private life, but right now, you look like you've seen Hamlet's father roaming in Astoria's corridors. What's going on?" Wendon asked as he stared at Gregory's blank space expression.

Gregory needed to talk, and for the first time in his life, he had a problem. He couldn't solve with a plan or money; he had an issue that affected his everyday life. The robot broke down. Even losing stock options didn't affect him as much as the situation with Xenia did.

"We went to Rolland Garros, and guess who I met?" Gregory blurted.

Wendon squinted his eye in suspicion, "who?"

"Edith Braxton, one of London's loudest gossip girls. I can be sure Margaret is aware of it now."

"Did Xenia notice?"

"I don't know how she interpreted the episode; I feel as if fate is giving me a warning."

"What's wrong, Gregory?"

The man's behavior preoccupied Wendon. They had a plan when they arrived at Astoria, and they went ahead with it. Everything followed through, but no one expected the French had a Trojan horse called Xenia. Wendon hated seeing his MVP Gregory aka the metronome, in this position, which made the man lose his means and logic. Gregory's departure was well overdue. Wendon, too, had deadlines to meet.

"I have to tell her."

"Are you sure? We all know Xenia's temper now before I would have given you the go-ahead, but honestly. It's risky; it's a fifty-fifty chance, Gregory."

The man began to pace back and forth in Wendon's office, "If I don't do it, I'll lose her, Wendon."

"If you do, it might be game over still," Wendon reminded.

Gregory stopped and pointed at Wendon, "you are not helping me."

Wendon smiled, "I know; tell Xenia you love her. It's true, so there's no problem. It'll help the pill go down."

Would the pill go down that quickly? Gregory doubted. In his mind, it was not fifty-fifty but a twenty-eighty against him.

No matter how Gregory twisted the diagnostic, he lost. The man who ran under bombs in Afganistan, Iraq, met his greatest enemy.

Love was a frightening thing; no wonder people had heart attacks.

Gregory's heartbeat rose when he was with Xenia. It raced when they fought, exploded when they made up, and now it beeped as if he were on a life support machine.

Gregory knew Xenia loved him, and the deception would be great. Selfish, he wanted to be with her, so he took all the risks. Saying he didn't know this could happen would be a lie.

The man saw the stakes from the very start, yet Gregory he pursued Xenia, aware he'd be backed up against a corner.

"Wendon, how much time do we have?"

"Everything is ready, Gregory. There's no need to stall any longer."

Gregory tried to buy time, and Wendon preferred to be honest. He already gave his friend more time than necessary for leisure. Now, for the sake of all the branches, they had to get back to their primal mission.

"I'm not in your shoes, Gregory, but I know how much this woman means to you. Do you want to know how I came to this conclusion?"

Gregory gave Wendon a bewildered stare.

"In our twenty beautiful years of friendship, it's the first time you share your worries on one of your relationships. You didn't even twitch an eyelid when your Ex moved out of your apartment in Kensington. Instead, you got on a plane and came to Astoria.

It was true, Gregory always accepted the tragic fate of his relationships, but he didn't desire that with Xenia.

"You know what? I feel like I can accomplish my role as a friend now. I'll set the meeting in a week," Wendon said as he swung on his chair.

Gregory, who paced, stopped, "Wendon, that's too soon."

"No, Gregory, I'm doing you a favor with this ultimatum. You'll be able to clear things up. You're always at your best with strict deadlines. So you have a week from now to sort it out with Xenia or forever hold your peace."

A week to reveal his truth, and it was going to hurt.

Wendon gave the man seven days, and the woman wasn't even speaking to him.

How could Gregory reveal the truth to someone who already held things against him?

Since their argument, Xenia went from ignoring him to playing hide and seek in Astoria. She left her apartment either before or after he did with the firm intention of avoiding him.

Despite his wish to patch things up, his refusal to bend to her will became a cannonball of pride; he pulled around, which prevented Gregory from making the first step. The man felt as though he was always the one to yield, and this time even in his desperation, Gregory hoped Xenia would approach him.

The problem was time; a week wasn't enough. It was a kamikaze operation in which Gregory had to be strategic.

She was the first woman who loved him for just being Gregory Carlton, no artifice attached. How would Xenia react to find out the man was not who he said he was?

Xenia was the woman Gregory did not even know he wanted, and finally, she was what the man needed.