Sasha: Chapter 31

I leaned in the doorway of the nursery that my niece would soon occupy. Alessio handmade a cradle that sat next to his and Autumn’s bed in the master bedroom. To keep her closer during the first month.

Autumn’s father insisted he was best suited to put together the crib pieces that my brother hand built for his little princess.

“Are you reading directions, darling?” Mrs. Corbin asked her husband in an exasperated tone that made me smile. “Otherwise, we’ll be at this for a week.”

“Alessio made the parts for it. The directions are right there,” Autumn’s father retorted, pointing at my brother with one of the pieces he was trying to put together.

“Why couldn’t we have had a normal crib?” Mrs. Corbin wondered. “You two together and the wood projects will drive us crazy. Maybe I could cook us dinner?”

We all straightened up at the same time and answered, “No.”

The message was loud and clear. No homemade cooking by Mrs. Corbin. Autumn’s mother was amazing, but she couldn’t cook to save her life. She was much better at killing than cooking.

She waved her hand, exasperated. “One little mistake and you’re judged for life.”

“Darling, there was more than one. Or two. Or three. Think of Branka’s upcoming wedding. We can’t afford to be sick.”

I shrugged my shoulders. Puking my guts out might be a good reason to postpone the wedding. Or at least the wedding night.

“I’ve ordered dinner,” Alessio told his mother-in-law while a smile tugged at his lips.

“Thank God,” Mr. Corbin grumbled and earned himself a scowl from his wife.

Alessio leaned against the windowsill, wearing jeans and a black t-shirt while Autumn sat on the floor with Kol, rubbing his mother’s belly and waiting for movement by his little sister. I could already tell he’d be a protective big brother and my poor niece wouldn’t be able to properly date.

My lips curled into a smile. I was looking forward to seeing them grow up. Happy, safe, and protected. Something Alessio and I never had.

Alessio’s home became a revolving door of grandparents, children’s laughter, family, and friends coming in and out of my brother’s manor. I was happy for him and Autumn, they both deserved all the happiness life could give them.

Ever since Alessio got Autumn back, it was like watching a fairy tale unfold in front of my eyes. It offered hope.

My phone beeped and I retrieved it from my pocket. It was a message from Killian. *Anything you want from Ireland?*

I smiled. After Autumn’s wedding in Japan, he left for Ireland and I came back to the States. He offered to take me along with him, but I used the excuse of wedding preparations and staying with Kol while Autumn and Alessio were on their honeymoon. So I came back to Montréal.

It was wrong. I should try and spend as much time with him rather than avoid him as much as possible. He had been nothing but thoughtful. But I feared the more time I spent with him, the sooner a physical part of our relationship would commence.

He’d kissed me. It didn’t put me off kissing him, but it didn’t exactly do to me what Sasha’s kisses did. And I hated that I compared it to Satan’s spawn who’d seduced me.

*Strong Irish Whiskey.* I pressed send, smiling. I wondered if he’d actually buy it.

“Mom, here stay with Kol.” Autumn patted a spot next to her. “You can boss dad and Alessio with the crib. I want to go through a few last minute things with Branka for her wedding.”

My wedding.

It was fast approaching. I should be over the moon about it. I wasn’t.

Truthfully, I never remembered myself dreaming about getting married. Having someone crazy about me, yes. Having amazing sex, yes. But marriage never particularly appealed to me.

But Killian was a good man. Much better man than my father ever was. Or Alessio’s biological father for that matter.

Yet, I still held some reservations about the whole marriage. Not because of Killian. The guy was incredible.

“Ready?” Autumn’s hand took mine and tugged me along.

Her long Maxi dress did nothing to hide her baby bump. Not that she was trying to hide it. She only had a trimester to go and she glowed. Not only because she was pregnant but because she was so happy. Those months when she was stranded in Afghanistan changed her. She still believed in saving the world and people in it, but she also refused to waste a single minute on bullshit.

We made our way through the manor, but instead of staying inside, she dragged me to the back of the house where the large pool lay.

“Is now the right time for a swim?” I mused. “While they’re slaving over the crib.”

Autumn lowered herself onto one lounge chair and I followed suit, stretching my legs. The sun warmed my skin and I turned to look at my best friend, shielding my eyes from the sun.

“Spit it out, Autumn.”

It has been three weeks since her wedding. Since I last saw Sasha. I tried not to think of him. Now he wanted me. It wasn’t good enough. I wanted to be his first choice. The only choice. Not his last choice. Did he just expect me to jump and be grateful for his attention?

Anyhow, it didn’t matter. He broke a promise and I had moved on.

I made a promise to Killian. We’d get married. Next week. I winced, wishing there was more time, but then quickly scolded myself.

Autumn watched me worriedly. She had been doing that ever since the wedding, throwing me sidelong glances and questioning me about whether I was happy or not. I was grateful for her but I wished she’d stop asking about whether I was fine.

I feared one of these times, I’d lose my composure.

“Are you sure marrying Killian is the right choice?” she questioned me.

“Yes.”

Truthfully, I didn’t fucking know. I felt like I was drowning but I didn’t understand why. My brain knew not all marriages weren’t like my parents’, but my heart played games.

“Maybe we can postpone the wedding and wait,” she suggested.

“Autumn,” I groaned, exasperated. “I just want to rip off the band aid and be done with it.”

She stared at me with concern scrawled all over her face. “Getting married shouldn’t be like ripping off a band aid.”

I let out a sigh. “Okay, wrong comparison,” I murmured. “I just can’t wait to be married.”

“Liar.” She knew me too well. “Sasha keeps bugging me about you.”

Out of nowhere, fury blasted through me.

“He has no right to bug you.” Anger and indignation rushed through my veins. “He broke his promise. The last thing I need is someone who can’t even keep his promises.”

“Are you sure he broke his promise?” she asked softly. Her warm gaze caused a knot of emotion to form in my throat, the lump growing bigger and bigger, until it threatened to suffocate me. “Did you ask him?”

“I did.” She waited. “He didn’t confirm nor deny, but that’s enough admission for me.”

I tilted my head up to the sun, watching the clear blue sky that reminded me of certain pale blue eyes.