Chapter 8

Buzzz. Buzzzz. I opened my eyes blearily, trying to see past the fog of the deep sleep I’d been in.

Who the fuck was calling?

No one ever called me.

No one I really ever wanted to call me at least.

I squinted at my phone, finally coherent enough to press accept when I saw that it was Harley calling.

The screen lit up, Maddie and Harley’s smiling faces filling the phone as soon as I accepted the video call.

Maddie held up her hand, an enormous sparkling rock on her finger. She was like an excited puppy as she danced on the couch next to Harley.

‘We’re getting married!’ she squealed, her voice echoing through the connection. Harley’s grin was equally as wide as he slung an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his chest, pressing a soft kiss on her hair.

I forgot all about being tired, my jaw dropping…even as a pang hit my chest as I watched how in love they were.

The way he’d held me that night, the feel of his lips…the way he’d looked at me like he could love me to my soul…

“Harley. You’re finally making an honest woman out of her. I’m so proud of you,” I cooed, trying to push away all my other thoughts.

“Hey! I’ve been trying to get her to marry me for the last year, Jones. You should be proud.”

I snorted, my eyes widening. I hadn’t known that little tidbit.

‘I’m really happy for you both,” I said in a softer voice, feeling oddly like I was going to cry.

There was a pause on the other end, and Maddie shot a glance at Harley before looking at me again.

“What? You’re making me nervous!”

‘Olivia,’ Maddie began tentatively, ‘I—I want you to be one of my bridesmaids.’

I blinked in surprise, my heart fluttering. The offer was unexpected, and I was more touched than I would have…thought.

Until I remembered what the realities of my life were and why they’d been so hesitant to even ask.

I stared at the happy couple, two of the only people in the world that had been on my side throughout all the shit.

I wanted to go to their wedding.

Desperately actually, which was a weird thing to think. I stared at them, probably resembling a crazy person. How had they managed that, even after everything—getting under my skin?

It sucked because now I was going to have to do whatever it took to make it happen.

Even if I had to beg.

‘Maddie. I would be absolutely honored,” I finally replied.

Maddie didn’t seem to mind my long pause, she just let out another delighted squeal that had Harley wrinkling his nose because he was probably deaf now.

“Yes, yes, yes. I’m so happy right now. Liv, it’s going to be the best!”

“Okay, so when’s the big day?”

Maddie and Harley exchanged another one of those glances, where they were communicating silently. They didn’t have to say the words out loud, because they knew each other so well.

The ache inside me grew. I could only dream about having that kind of relationship with someone.

“So…it’s in two months…in Dallas. We wanted to do it before the start of the season. And since most of Harley’s and my family are there…it just makes sense.’ She bit down on her lip. “But we’re doing the shower, the bachelorette/bachelor parties, and everything else over that three day weekend so that no one has to travel twice,” she added, like she was making a sales pitch.

Maddie was still beaming, but her smile had dimmed some, like she was waiting for the inevitable pushback or for me to say I couldn’t do it.

“Okay then…in two months I will see you in Dallas,” I said, forcing a brightness to my tone even though I was dreading the conversations that were going to have to take place to get me there.

When I’d refused to perform as a pushback against the conservatorship, it had also meant the end of my freedom. Besides trips around town, I hadn’t gone anywhere. Not vacations, not day trips. Nothing.

So this would be a big jump.

But as they signed off and I promised to keep them updated on my travel plans, I decided it would be worth it.

That seemed to be happening a lot these days.

The click of the lock signaled Jolette was here.

Two freaking days after I’d told her I needed to discuss something with her.

The sudden intrusion into what was supposed to be my private sanctuary grated on my nerves like it always did, like the screechy sound when nails met a chalkboard. I couldn’t remember her ever knocking before coming in, and the fact that she and Marco both had a key and could come and go as they pleased—under the guise of safety concerns, of course—had always made sure this place never felt like home.

It was just another way they constantly rubbed in my face how little control I had over my own life.

As she let herself in without a second thought, I fought the urge to lash out, knowing anything I did would be futile.

“Well, I’m here. Taking time from my busy schedule to deal with you. Once again,” she snapped.

Right…her busy schedule of spa treatments and private planes to the vineyard to get drunk with her vapid friends—all using my money.

Such a busy schedule.

I stared at her as she finished whatever she was doing on her phone.

Her long, perfectly coiffed hair cascaded down her back in a glossy, blonde waterfall. Her skin was flawless, but it had that telltale plastic sheen that came from too many cosmetic procedures. Her designer clothing clung to her figure, emphasizing her slender physique, carved by Dr. Rothingham on 5th Avenue himself. Diamonds flashed at me from her ears down to her hands.

A beautiful plastic exterior housing the poisonous snake inside.

“Harley’s getting married,” I said, cutting straight to the chase.

“And,” she drawled…still not looking at me.

“Maddie has asked me to be a bridesmaid for their wedding in two months…in Dallas.”

“Who’s Maddie?”

“His fiancée,” I said slowly, since that should be obvious.

“No,” she said simply, spinning around and heading back to the door, the click of her heels reverberating through the room.

“Wait…what do you mean no?” I called after her, jumping up from the couch where I’d sat to try and pretend nonchalance.

Obviously that plan was out the window.

‘You’ve shown time and time again, Olivia, that you can’t be trusted around Harley. Wasn’t he the little reason for your temper tantrum the other morning?’ she said with an unyielding tone, finally glancing at me with a perfectly shaped eyebrow raised.

My hands were shaking, and I swallowed, trying to get control of my voice. ‘I’ve given you and Marco everything. What more do you want from me? What can I do to get this madness to stop? You can’t just keep me a prisoner until I die!’

It was more than I wanted to reveal, this desperation sitting in my chest. It was the weakness I had tried my best never to show her, and now here it was, splayed open for her to use.

And Jolette knew it too.

“I think you know what would help your ‘little situation’,” she purred, her eyes gleaming as she went in for the kill. “Your refusal to cooperate with our terms has been sooo…disappointing.”

I closed my eyes, trying to hold in the scream burning in my chest.

Oh, I knew exactly what she was talking about. The only thing they couldn’t get a court to force me to do.

Sing.

‘I’ll perform in Dallas the day after the wedding,’ I finally offered softly, feeling like I was losing something important even as I said it.

I’d vowed that I would never give them what they wanted like this—access to my voice.

I guess they’d finally, truly broken me.

Jolette’s smile was victorious and cold, and I could practically see the dollar signs stacking up in that psychotic brain of hers. ‘Marco will set it up,’ she said dismissively, like she hadn’t just won the war we’d been waging for the last two years.

She turned on her heel to leave.

“Wait, so that means I’m going to the wedding, right? Because that’s the only way I’ll perform,” I called after her.

Jolette gave me a sickening grin over her shoulder. “Yes, you can go to that little wedding of yours. But if you try anything, if you don’t do that show…” Her grin widened and cold sweat slicked across my forehead at the warning.

She left the apartment after that happy little thought, leaving me alone with my dread and my demons. I felt sick, the walls of my world closing in on me. I wanted to call her back, tell her the deal was off.

But I needed that one weekend of freedom. I needed it like I needed water…to survive.

I would just perform one show. And then I could say no again. I already knew that was one thing I had in my power.

This was Walker’s fault.

If I hadn’t had that night with him, if I hadn’t tasted that one night of liberation, I could have kept going as I had been. I could have accepted my fate.

I wouldn’t have given in.

My eyes landed on the bathroom door, and unlike every other day over the last two years…I didn’t resist.

With shaky hands, I retrieved the pill bottle I had tried so hard to stay away from. Jolette and Marco had started to keep the bottles in the apartment over the last year, to tempt me so to speak.

But I’d already given in on so much today—what was one more thing?

The tiny white tablets offered a cruel sense of comfort, and I sighed at the bitter taste they left on my tongue as I put them in my mouth.

The bitter taste was a perfect reflection for the bitter life I experienced each day.

The high slid through my senses much faster than it had a few years ago, when I’d depended on it multiple times a day.

I laid on my bed, feeling pathetic, feeling so out of control of my life, until finally, the numbness swooped in and took it away…and I could breathe again.